Polish People Jokes
43 polish people jokes and hilarious polish people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about polish people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Polish People Short Jokes
Short polish people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The polish people humour may include short polish women jokes also.
- another polish joke why do polish people keep empty bottles in the fridge?
for those that don't want anything to drink - A moderator from Poland walks into a chatroom of people arguing. "This place is gonna need some *polishing*."
- Polish people are really knowledgeable about politics. Every time the news is on they keep saying "Let's see what the Poles have to say."
- I'm not sure why people were so surprised by the quality of The Witcher 3 It's a well known fact that games benefit from a lot of polish.
- There's a new activist movement that campaigns against violence and systemic racism toward people from Poland... It's called "Matter Lives Polish."
- Meanwhile in Glasgie People are panic buying nail polish, shoe polish, and even furniture polish.
There seems to have been a wee misunderstanding about which polish won't be in the UK soon. - Who's better at fishing; bears, or polish people? They're pretty even. Polish people hear they're supposed to use a pole, so much like a bear, they jump in the water and wave their hands all around.
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Polish People One Liners
Which polish people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with polish people? I can suggest the ones about polish and polish girl.
- What do you call the shiniest people? Polish
- What do polish people do for fun? Polish stuff
- What do you it call when Polish people can't agree among themselves? Polarized
- Are all Polish people? Well polished people?
- What resolution do Polish people use on their computers? 1939 x 6,000,000
- What do Polish people study in chemistry? Dipole-dipole bonds.
- How many polish people does it take to cut down a tree? 96 and a plane
- Why do Polish people have human rights? Like seriously, why
- How do polish people show gratitude? They say thansk.
- Why do people from Poland keep their stuff super shiny? Well duh, they're Polish
- A line to use on Polish people You must be a magnetic Pole because I'm attracted to you.
- Why do Polish people love chips Because k**... mash.
Cheerful Fun Polish People Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about polish people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean why polish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make polish people pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm planning on starting a s**... club....
... in Poland. It will be called Pole Land.
I will hire people from ex law enforcement as strippers.
The slogan for the club will be: "Welcome to Pole Land, in Poland: Where Polish police polish your pole".
The slogan did pretty well in market research polls.
Being a musician is great for travelling and meeting new people. Throughout my career I have met amazing humans.
Once I met this Italian opera singer, amazing gal. Some other time an irish theremine player. But the other day I met a polish sound engineer. And a czech one too. And a czech one too. And a czech one too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate how politically correct things are these days. You can't even say the word s**... without people getting offended.
I started to tell a Polish joke to a group of guys and one of them said "Hey, I'm Polish and that joke offends me!" Fair enough I thought, no one likes to be stereotyped. So I swapped out the word "Polish" for "s**..." and started the joke over. Same guy got offended.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A polish guy and a German guy are arguing..
The polish guy said Polish people are the smartest people in the world. He'd even made ludicrous claims. He said the Polish people invented the outhouse. The German looks at him and says "yes, but it was us d**... Germans who put the hole in the floor"
An American dog, Polish dog and a Russian dog were discussing things so the American dog tells them that if you bark long enough, people will give you meat. The Polish dog asks "what's meat?"
The Russian dog asked "what's bark...??!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Polish people does it take to be pallbearers at a f**...?
Seven. Six to carry the casket and one to drag the body
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Trump supporters enjoy polish people at his rally...
so that they can say that their ahead in the Poles.
Polish gram-pa said it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A great Polish joke
Guy goes into a bar, and a couple drinks in loudly announces to the bartender, "OK I'm going to tell you a great Polish joke!"
The bartender leans in and whispers, "watch it buddy, I happen to be polish, and while I got a sense of humor, about half the people in here are polish. you see that 6'6" 300 lb bouncer? He's polish too and he don't got a sense of humor!"
"OK," the jokster responds. "I'll tell it slowly!"
During the 80's, many college students from Eastern Bloc countries - Poland, Hungary, and Romania met each other at a summer camp
Sitting around the campfire after supper, these young people tried their best to communicate with each other (Polish, Hungarian, and Romanian are totally not related), ultimately having to resort to some kind of sign language
Then one dude got an idea: Hey, we all learned Russian in high school, why don't we try speaking in Russian?
… After a brief, thoughtful thinking and pause … everyone returned back to that sign language
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy buys an old brass lamp at a flea market
He takes it home, and starts to clean it up. He rubs it a few times with a polishing cloth, and a genie pops out.
The guy says, "Hey, look at that, a genie. I get three wishes, right?
The genie says, "Sorry, no. People were wishing for all kinds of crazy stuff, so we had to cut it down. You get to choose from one of two wishes. You can wish for a better s**... life, or a better golf game.
The guy thinks about it for a bit, and says, "You know, my short game hasn't improved in years, no matter how hard I try. I'd like a better golf game."
The genie says, "Really? I haven't been at this genie thing for that long, but you are the first guy I've had who wanted a better golf game. You must get more chicks than Hugh Hefner.
"Oh, nothing like that."
"But still, you must be getting it two or three times a day."
"Be serious"
"Once a day at least"
"No, not that often"
"Well, what's your s**... life like?"
"I probably average once or twice a week."
"You're getting laid once or twice a week and you don't think that there's room for improvement?
The guy says, "Well, I think I do pretty well for a priest in a small town who doesn't drive."
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center.
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance;
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations"
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"SH*T!" said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932.
The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
“I invested that nickel in an apple.
I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples.
I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents.
I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”
“And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked.
“Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”
