polish Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious polish puns

I have a Polish friend who is an audio engineer

and a Czech one too. Czech one too.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Girls use chemicals to remove polish and, no one bats an eye

Hitler uses chemicals to remove Polish, and everyone loses their mind

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

a new last name

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye

Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

When a women removes polish with chemicals,no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses their shit.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license

First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.


The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'


"Can you read this?" the optician asked.


"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

The Polish eye exam.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters

~~'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'~~ 'C Z W I K S N O S T A C Z'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What do you call a Polish fisherman?

A fishing pole.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A girl uses chemicals to remove polish and no one looks twice

And yet when Hitler tried it, everyone threw a fit

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day...

He discovered he was a tad Polish.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A Polish man goes to the eye doctor...

A Polish man goes to the eye doctor. The bottom line of the eye chart has the letters:

C Z Y N Q S T A S Z

The Optometrist asks β€žCan you read this?

β€žRead it? , the Pole replies, β€žI know the guy!

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A Polish immigrant goes to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

But first, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.

The optician shows him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" replies the Polish man, "I went to school with the guy!"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Last night, I gave my girlfriend a medieval battle uniform to polish while I went to the bar. I mean, she always said she wanted...

...a night in, shining armor.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Why does Hitler like acetone?

It's a Polish Remover

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What do women's panties and nail polish have in common?

What do women's panties and nail polish have in common?

They both come off with alcohol.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares..

But use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Using chemicals to remove polish is fine...

But use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're suddenly Hitler!

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Sieg Heil by Covergirl

Girls use chemicals to remove polish and no one panics.
Hitler does the same thing and everyone loses their minds.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I once dated a twin

Years ago I dated a twin.


My friend asked me 'how do you tell them apart?'


I explained 'Well, Rebecca has agreed to wear green nail polish every 2nd day...and Stephen has a dick'

πŸ‘πŸΌ

One of my favorite Polish jokes

A Polack goes to the eye doctor. The bottom line of the eye chart has the letters:
C Z Y N Q S T A S Z.
The Optometrist asks, "Can you read this?"
"Read it?" the Polack replies, "I know the guy."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I have a Polish friend who is a sound technician.

I have a Czech one too.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What's the cleanest language in the world?

Polish

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What was the first thing Hitler bought from the beauty shop?

Polish remover

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I ran my car into a pole late last night

The worst part was the awful sound it made, but I don't speak polish so I just kept driving

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What does a Polish man give his wife on their wedding night that's long and hard?

His last name

πŸ‘πŸΌ

The agony of dyslexia

I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend last night. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him: "You idiot!"

"You're supposed to turn your clock back!

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What do Hitler and teenage girls have in common?

They both use chemicals to remove the polish.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A Polish Immigrant applies for a driver's license

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A joke my dad told me in polish, I'll translate.

3 men where discussing the fastest things in the universe.
One man says "it's the human thought, because you think about stuff and you don't even know when it happened"
The second man says "no, light is faster because you flip the switch and before you can even think about it, it's there".
The third man says "no no no, it's diarrhea, because before I can think about it, and before I can even turn on the lights, I shit my pants!"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A Polish man was at the Eye Doctor to test his sight, and looked at a chart with the following letters:

G U O Y L V B J I T D A Z C K

Doctor: Can you read the letters?

Polish Man: Of course i can read it, I know the guy!

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Tragedy in Poland

The worst air disaster in Poland's history occurred today when a two-seat Cessna 120 crashed into a cemetery.

So far 374 bodies have been found.

Polish search and rescue officials indicate that the number will probably rise as they continue to dig.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

The Polish farmer

During WW2, a team of German and Soviet surveyors went through Poland to split the country.
One day they found a farm placed directly over the planned border. The surveyors agreed that the border couldn't be drawn through the house, and decided to ask the farmer.
- Do you want to belong to Soviet or Germany?, they asked him.
After some thinking, the farmer answered
- I'd like to belong to Germany.
- Why is that?
- Oh - I've heard the Russian winters are very cold

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Women vs Hitler

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.

When Hitler removes Polish with chemicals, everyone flips their shit.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Capital letters...

...the difference between using chemicals to remove polish, and using chemicals to remove Polish.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A Polish guy goes to the eye doctor

The doctor holds up a chart: K Z S Y X W K P G and asks the man if he can read it. "Read it?" he says, "I *know* the guy!"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What are the most funny Polish jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Polish? Well, here are the best Polish dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Polish pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes