Policy Jokes

129 policy jokes and hilarious policy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about policy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you love a good policy joke? Check out this list of hilarious and punny jokes about public policy, foreign policy, fiscal policy, insurance policies, Group Policy and more! Whether you’re a policy debater or just looking for a side-splitting chuckle, this list of policy jokes is sure to hit the spot.

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jokes about policy

Best Short Policy Jokes

Short policy puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The policy humour may include short political jokes also.

  1. My son came home as I was taking his door off it's hinges and asked Dad what are you doing?
    We've updated our privacy policy
  2. A kid came out as bisexual to his dad and the dad said they have to move "This apartment has a strict no-animal policy.", he says. "Wait until they find out I have a bison."
  3. [ Removed by Reddit ] [ Removed by reddit on account of violating the [content policy](/help/contentpolicy). ]
  4. EA's microtransaction policy is so bad that... [This punchline is locked. Please pay 20,000 credits to unlock]
  5. Guys I think Trump's immigration policies just might work. China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.
  6. Putin's inner circle is trying to hide the news that the war isn't going well in parts of Ukraine from him... They have a very strict Donetsk-don't-tell policy.
  7. I've just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my blanket is stolen in the middle of the night, l'm not covered.
  8. What doesn't the US government update it's privacy policy? You need to have one first before you updated it.
  9. What's the difference between Donald Trump and my passport? The passport has more foreign policy experience.
  10. Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming.
Policy joke, Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about policy can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of policy puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Policy One Liners

Which policy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with policy? I can suggest the ones about plan and rules.

  1. Roses are red, sorry for the Hypocrisy But hey, we've updated our privacy policy
  2. I bought a boomerang on Amazon... ...but only because of their 100% return policy.
  3. Apple Stock Apple's stock surges on announcement of two-child policy change in China
  4. I went to the boomerang store the other day They had a great return policy
  5. Why did the boomer have a no coins policy in his store? He couldn't tolerate change.
  6. Teleports behind you We've updated our Privacy & Policy
  7. My college has a strict "No Enrollment" policy No acceptions.
  8. Did you hear the name of Putin's new military policy? Donetsk, don't tell.
  9. What's the policy at French morgues? Baguette and tag it.
  10. Try and try again until you succeed Common policy followed in most stabbing
  11. Due to Policy Changes Prenuptial's will now be called End User License Agreements
  12. What is the administrative policy enforced in a ghost town? Booreaucracy
  13. What did turkey do on thanksgiving? Changed its foreign policy on syria.
  14. What national policy can keep your pants up? A waste ban
  15. I like my privacy policy updates like I like my women All talk and zero action

Privacy Policy Jokes

Here is a list of funny privacy policy jokes and even better privacy policy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The last man on Earth was sitting alone in a room, when all of a sudden his phone rang... We've updated our privacy policy.
  • If a tree falls in the woods and nobody's around to hear it Does it still let everyone know it updated its privacy policy?
  • Today, my girlfriend has agreed that we can do everything in bed now. She accepted my updated privacy policy without reading.
  • *Opens box of cereal* We've updated our privacy policy.
  • My wife wasn't too thrilled When I cursed at Ashley Madison for updating their privacy policy.
  • I'd tell you a secret, but... I too have updated my privacy policy.
  • God does 24 * 7 * ∞ surveillance... at least he doesn't bother us with updating His Privacy Policy
  • Hey guys something new came up!!!!! We updated our privacy policy.
  • You know why North Korea won't meet for the nuclear summit? They haven't updated their privacy policy.
  • The NSA's privacy policy [...] NSA is committed to protecting your privacy and will collect no personal information about you unless you choose to provide that information to us. [...]

Insurance Policy Jokes

Here is a list of funny insurance policy jokes and even better insurance policy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man is asked by his friends why he doesn't have a life insurance policy "Because I want everybody to be really sad when I die!" He grins.
  • On my way to my wedding I got caught in a rain shower and my dress was ruined. I tried to file a claim with insurance but they said I didn't have an umbrella policy.
  • Ruff Policy My dog, Case, swallowed my proof of car insurance. It's really no big deal though. My insurance is just in Case.
  • Did you hear that none of the destroyed businesses in Man of Steel were paid out by insurance? Turns out their policies didn't cover an "act of Zod"
  • What do you call Batman insurance policies? Dark Knight returns.
  • Why did "The Land Before Time" movie series have their insurance denied? Their policy doesn't cover pre-existing conditions
  • Why do evangelicals hate insurance policies? Everything is an act of god.
  • What do you call a policy that covers obnoxious laughter? Carr insurance.
  • What's the best way to make money with a plus-size modeling agency? Life insurance policies.
  • Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.

Foreign Policy Jokes

Here is a list of funny foreign policy jokes and even better foreign policy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Donald Trump is said to have lack of foreign policy experience to be president, but in fairness, he has spent time meeting with foreign leaders around the world. Ms. Sweden, Ms. Argentina...
  • What do you call Russian foreign policy with Ukraine? Nyet Neutrality
  • British foreign policy.. When life gives you Yemens, give Yemen aid.
  • Foreign policy escalates as Trump begins literally taking off the kid gloves. (I guess his hands aren't cold any more)
  • Have you heard Donald Trump's plan for foreign policy relations with Belgium? He's planning on becoming a Waffler.
  • There's been a drastic change in American foreign policy in recent months...take Iraq, which we did,
  • China's foreign policy is only gonna get harder from here on out... At least that's what Xi said.
  • The only thing ironic about the Obama administration is their nuclear foreign policy
  • Maybe Trump really did meet with the president of the v**... Islands. After all, he consults him on foreign policy.
  • Q: What did o**... Bin Laden's ghost say to Mitt Romney? A: "Don't be sad, Obama's foreign policy killed me too"
Policy joke

Amusing & Witty Policy Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about policy you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean strategy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make policy prank.

Yesterday, Bill Clinton endorsed Newt Gingrich's immigration policy

Today he's endorsing Herman Cain's domestic policy.

Australian, Englishman and Irishman man are sitting in a Pub

Australian, Englishman and Irishman man are sitting in a Pub with cold beers and all are relaxed.
Aussie says "Great, but back home there is a bar where the barman buys you your 5th beer once you've bought your fourth"
Well, says the Englishman, "back in Manchester my local has a buy 2 and get one for free policy".
Aah! says the Irishman, "in Dublin there's a bar where you get free drinks as soon as you walk in and they keep them coming all evening.Then they take you upstairs and you get non stop s**... all night".
"What, youve actually experienced this yourself"? asks the Aussie.
Well "no" says the Irishman "but me sister has"!

Honesty Is Not Always the Best Policy (real news)

A Florida man arrested for speeding and DUI admitted to police that prior to getting in his car he'd been drinking beer and watching "The Fast & the Furious." Although, he admitted his favorite movie is "Dumb and Dumber."

I don't get why everybody hates on ISIS....

Their drug policy, for one, is incredibly progressive. Women get s**... legally over there all the time!

A high schooled student becomes a national hero after taking down a school shooter

But was expelled because of the schools zero tolerance policy

Some people say Steve Jobs died to early...

but I'd say its an appropriate metaphor for his companies policy on battery life

Honesty is the best policy

But by process of elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. Keep that in mind.

We must follow our policy. . .

I was at the airport the other day to pick someone up but their flight was delayed so I wandered around a bit. I noticed a big scene at one of the airline check ins. there was this agitated vulture holding a couple of dead possums arguing loudly with a whole group of ticket agents. I kinda felt bad for the guy but the airline did have a one carrion policy.

I asked Santa for a new energy policy...

...but all I got in my stocking was a lump of coal. :-(

The dad, husband and pastor of a woman arrive outside a hospital delivery room

The nurse stated that the hospital policy only allowed one person to be in the delivery room with the woman. Unfortunately, all 3 became confused when the woman giving birth screamed, "FATHER I NEED YOU".

Don't blame Trump for this immigration policy,

Lady Liberty tried to come over from France 130 years ago and they still haven't let her in!

UA at it again

If you can't beat them, join them.
-English saying
If you can't join them, beat them.
-United Airlines over booking policy

The bartender says, We don't serve time travelers in here.

"Since when?"
"The policy went into effect a year ago."
"OK, be right back"

My policy for a good, healthy s**... relationship is this: "From each according to their ability; to each according to their needs."

Or as I like to call it, Cummunism.

Today I kicked a breastfeeding mom out of my restaurant

Not because other customers thought she was indecent, but because we have a no outside food or drinks policy

What do the Chinese call the one-child policy?

Chinese takeaway.

I wanted to make fun of my co-worker's marathon prep...

...but my company has a policy against race jokes

Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down.

Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

Why was abolishing the one-child policy in China morally controversial?

It led to an increase of youth in Asia

A guy walks into a Muslim bookstore wearing a Make America Great Again hat...

As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.
Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and i**... aliens?
The clerk said, Kiss my a**...… get out… and stay out!
The man said, Yes, that's the one.  Do you have it in paperback?

A nightclub near me won an award for "The weirdest entry policy"

Which is no small feat.

My parents always say honesty is the best policy. So I told my my mum I was going clubbing with friends last night.

I don't get why she's so upset with me, we only bludgeoned the o**... before the cops came.

I got a job tending to baby seals once.

I got fired the first day for using a baseball bat. I guess they had a strict club only policy!

Don't ask don't tell is a great policy for dating.

I don't ask them out, they don't tell me no.

After watching her daily for a few months I finally gathered courage to go talk to her.

Me: I think you are cute, how about we go watch a movie and dinner later tonite?

Her: Sorry, but I don't think coworkers are allowed to date per HR policy.

Me: that should not be a problem as I don't think of you as a coworker. I never see you doing any work.

So my ISP sent me a letter today...

We've updated our Piracy Policy.

My roommate recently started having much louder s**... with his girlfriend. "What changed?" I asked.

"We've updated our privacy policy."

I lost my job at the laundry mat the other day

Apparently our policy of seperating the w**... from the colors dosent mean telling the african americans and the pakistanis to get out

I always wanted to lay n**... on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace...

Evidently c**... Barrel has a policy against this.

What does U.S. immigration policy have in common with kindergarten after lunch?

Kid napping.

Ancient Egyptians who worked to preserve the Pharaoh for the afterlife are known for having being very good businessmen. In fact, they even invented what we know today as the "return policy."

It was know back then as the "mummy back guarantee..."

An office hired a m**... and a Jehovah's Witness.

Soon after, there was an open door policy.

My yo-yo business is failing, and I don't know why!

People usually love a no strings attached policy!

I got kicked off my bowling team the other day

I managed to knock all the pins down on my first two turns. Then on my third turn I did it again and the leader of the team turned to me and said "Sorry, you're going to have to leave the team".
Apparently they have a three strike policy.

Did you hear the one about Xi Jinping?

This joke has been flagged for violations of our *new* content policy, specifically our policy against inappropriate speech.

I don't have any tattoos and don't I think I'll ever get one. But if I do, I might get a Kirkland Signature logo t**... stamp and I'd get it at Costco.

If I'm not completely satisfied, I'm sure their return policy would cover it. Which would technically be an even bigger tattoo saying RETURN POLICY.

Without a mask on, I shopped at a store that had a strict mask policy.

Before leaving, I asked the security guard why he let me shop without a cover and he said that Halloween masks are acceptable too. :\_(

German lawmakers are considering a policy that makes all Uber ride sharing free

If the law passes, then Deutschland will über alles

I hear The Beatles influenced the COVID19 treatment policy at Italian hospitals...

Live... Let Die... Live... Let Die...

Why don't Chinese people care about mass surveillance?

Because after the 1 child policy, nobody remembers what a big brother is, anyway.

What's the policy for the buffet at the o**...?

First come first serve.

A snail walks into a bar

The snail sits down on a bar stool and orders a double Jack & Coke. The bartender says, sorry, we have a strict policy on no snails in this bar .... so then the bartender kicks the snail out.
5 days later, the snail comes back in, sits on a bar stool and says to the bartender what the f*c**... did you do that for ?

I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.

It said, "You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial."

A high school principal made an announcement at an assembly.

He said, "Boys and girls, the faculty have witnessed an alarming increase in public displays of affection, which are against school policy. Effective immediately, we will start issuing fines to those caught doing this. A first offense will be $5. A second offense will be $10. A third offense will be $20. So on and so forth."
Suddenly, a student in the crowd yelled, "How much for a season pass?"

Joe is hiring a hitman from a well respected mafioso to kill his business partner.

The man asks, "How do I know you won't just let him pay you twice as much, and then kill me?"
The mob boss leans back and says, "Well Joe, you can always get the insurance policy."
"Insurance policy?"
"Yeah. For five times the fee I absolutely guarantee that the other guy can no longer afford to."

Signs of our times

My brother says hiring in California is so low, they updated the policy - Long hair freaky people "may" apply.

Two women were fighting for the last available seat on the bus.

No amount of reasoning was helping the bus driver resolve the issue. In desperation he grabbed his training manual and announced:
'The policy is to allow the seat to go to the uglier one.'
Both women stood for the remainder of the trip.

At my job there is a strict policy that no one can discuss the topic of beer...

We don't talk about brew no, no, no.

What's the Russian military's policy on homosexuals fighting in the Ukraine?

Donetsk, don't tell.

Best Of Both Worlds

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

An insurance agent approaches a cowboy, trying to sell him an accident policy.

The agent inquires, "Have you ever had an accident?"
"Never," the cowboy responds. "However, just recently a horse kicked in two of my ribs, and back a couple years ago a rattlesnake bit my ankle."
"Wouldn't you call these accidents?" says the puzzled agent.
"Nah," the cowboy replies. "They both did it on purpose!"

Policy joke, An insurance agent approaches a cowboy, trying to sell him an accident policy.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these policy jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.