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Police Raided Jokes

23 police raided jokes and hilarious police raided puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about police raided that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Police Raided Short Jokes

Short police raided jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The police raided humour may include short pulled by police jokes also.

  1. The police raided the kitchen of a restaurant where the chef was preparing Eggs Benedict He was arrested for poaching.
  2. I didn't want to believe that my uncle had been stealing from the roads and traffic department ... ... but when the police raided his apartment, all the signs were there.
  3. Police last night raided the Home For Retired Thieves and Au Pairs.... ...they proceeded to search every crook and nanny!
  4. What did the squirrel say to the police dog when it raided its tree house? ...You're barking up the wrong tree.
  5. The police tried to raid a food smuggling operation today. Unfortunately, they only managed to Caesar salad.
  6. A man has been raiding garden allotments and cutting off the tops of all the lettuces Police say that they think this is just the tip of the iceberg.
  7. I heard the police raided my neighbors house on suspicion of a brutal m**...... ... When they charged into the bathroom they found Head and Shoulders.

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Police Raided One Liners

Which police raided one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with police raided? I can suggest the ones about arrested and raided.

  1. Police raided a tautology club. They found a fatally murdered body of a dead corpse.
  2. How do the police raid a concert? With a Sting operation!
  3. The police just raided the North Pole! I heard they had probable Claus
  4. The French police raid in one day killed more than my guild does all week.
  5. Why did the Tour de France get raided? The police heard it was full of pedal-philes.
  6. What's the most efficient type of weedeater? A s**... in a police raid.

Cheeky Police Raided Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about police raided you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arrested assaulting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make police raided pranks.

Past& Sees Her.

Susie is a p**... who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& s**... 'em until they're dry.

A man gets woken up by intruders in his house.

He phones the police and says "There's people robbing my house, please send help".
They dispatcher says there's no cars or police available.
The man hangs up and phones back 2 minutes later.
"I just shot the guys. They're both here with bullets in them"
2 minutes later, police cars, helicopters, armed forces, counter-t**... police turn up and raid the house, catching the burglars in the act.
The police looked confused and asked "You said you shot them!"
The man replied "You said there were no police available."

Granny suprise

A p**... in Philippines stands in line with 50 others during a police raid, checking their IDs
As suprise her grand mother shows up, asking what she is doing in that long line.
"There is a man on the end, giving oranges for free, to make juice", she lies ashamed.
"Well, in this heat i wanna have some too ", says the grandmother and joines the line.
As the police officer showes up he is shocked and said: "Oh my god, how can you do that! You are quiet old already!".
"No problem Officer, i take out my teeth and s**... em dry..."

In hard times, a young woman becomes a p**......

For obvious reasons, she tries to keep this hidden from her only relative, her old grandma.
One cold evening, the brothel that the p**... works in is raided by police. All s**... workers are forced to wait in a line outside to show identification and documents.
As luck would have it, nan was in this bad area in town saw her granddaughter in the queue. She asked "Why are you standing in line here dear, are you not cold?". Trying to think of a good alibi, the grand daughter told her that the policeman were handing out free oranges.
Excited by the prospects of free oranges, the old lady said "Why how awfully nice of them, I might get some myself" and went to the back of the line.
A policeman, going down the line for more information looks very suprised when he comes to the four foot eight female yoda. "Wow, how do you keep at it at your age?".
"Well darling, I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back, and s**... them dry".