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Police Pig Jokes

30 police pig jokes and hilarious police pig puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about police pig that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Police Pig Short Jokes

Short police pig jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The police pig humour may include short police dog jokes also.

  1. Whoever invented police helicopters doomed us all Everything's gonna happen now that pigs can fly
  2. Using the phrase "when pigs fly" to suggest an impossibility is surely out of date. The police have had helicopters for years now.
  3. After reading, 50 shades of grey, my wife asked to treat her like Anastasia ... so I got the Bolshevik secret police to m**... her family and I sold her to a Russian pig farmer.
  4. 2 Police Officers are in a KFC line. The first police officer smiled and said "I didn't know I would find another c**...-eating pig here!"

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Police Pig One Liners

Which police pig one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with police pig? I can suggest the ones about pigs and flying pig.

  1. What does the italian police do with a criminal pig? prosecutto
  2. What did the police officer say to the pig thief? Come out with your hams up!
  3. What language did ancient Roman police speak? Pig Latin
  4. What do you call something that is half horse and half pig? A mounted police officer
  5. What animal likes to give a pig a ride on his back? A police horse.
  6. What's it called when you insult a police officer? A pig roast...
  7. What do a farmer and a police chief have in common? They're both in charge of pigs.
  8. I saw a police helicopter last night... "Hey look, a flying pig".

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Police Pig Jokes

What funny jokes about police pig you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean miss piggy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make police pig pranks.

A Scottish priest is driving home when he comes across a dead pig lying on the road.

So he calls the police to inform them.
A c**... sergeant answers the called. "Did ye read him his last rites?" smirks the sergeant.
"Naw." replies the priest." I thought I would inform his next of kin first!"

A Scottish priest finds a dead pig.

A Scottish priest is driving home when he comes across a dead pig lying on the side of the road. So he calls the police to inform them.
A c**... sergeant answers the call.
"Did ye read him his last rites?" the sergeant smirked
"Naw." replies the priest. "I thought I'd inform his next of kin first!"

Didn't help myself today when the police pulled me over...

They suspected I was driving with no insurance."f**... filthy pigs" I raged, "have you got nothing else better to do, like arresting murderers and rapists?""Any more language like that, and you'll be arrested" he snapped."I'm sorry, I said, "It's just the beer talking."

In the US cops are called pigs, in Russia they call them goats.

A man shows up at a police station in Russia and says there is a dead goat on the road two blocks away. The cops are like There was no need to come here, call the city or whatever. The guy says Well, I thought when somebody dies the first thing they do is inform their relatives.

Man is arrested for calling a police "pig"

He is released next morning
- Tell me officer, the man begs, is it never allowed to call police "pig"?
- Well yes, you can call us police, cops, even the blues, but never call us pigs again.
- Ok, ok. I can do that.
- Have a nice day sir
- Yet I wonder, the man continues, what if I call a pig "police", would that be ok?
- Well, that's a bit weird for sure... but I guess it's nothing we could put you in jail for or anything.
- I see, I see... goodbye, police

USSR Joke Adapted For 2018

On a tour of Washington D.C. a young man lags behind the tour group to take a longer look at the White House. However, he was quite upset with the President and in a moment of anger he shouts across the lawn "The President is a disgusting pig". As he turns to walk away the D.C. police quickly arrest the man and he is taken before a judge. The Judge takes a cursory glance at the charges and sentences the man to 4 years in prison. In disbelief he yells to the judge "I didn't know insulting the President was a crime". The Judge lowers his glasses and says "Insulting the President isn't a crime, but revealing state secrets is".

A man stops to ask directions from a farmer sitting on his porch and is amazed to see a three-legged pig sitting at the farmer's feet.

"That's a weird-looking pig," the man says. The farmer is furious. "Don't you ever say anything bad about this pig!" he says. "Just last week my wife and I were sleeping, and a fire broke out. This pig dragged us both to safety. Last month a robber broke into the house. The pig knocked him down, dialed 911 with his snout and sat on him until the police arrived. So don't ever say anything bad about him."
"I'm sorry," the man says. "But what's the deal with the three legs?"
"Mister," the farmer says, "a pig like this you don't eat all at once."

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police one day. When suddenly, they happened upon a barn. They ran inside to escape the boys in blue and barred the door on their way in. All that was in the barn was a few cows, a couple of pigs, and a pile of potatoes. They could hear the sirens approaching so they had to act fast. The brunette hid behind the cows, the redhead hid behind the pigs, and the blond behind the potatoes. The police broke in and surveyed the area. The brunette, trying to be inconspicuous, decided to imitate the cows. She let out a great big "Moooooo!" The redhead did the same, letting out a pig squeal. The blond, in the spur of the moment, let out the loudest noise of them all. "POOOOTTTAATTTOOOOOO!"

Another blond joke

Three girls, a blond, a brunette and a redhead are out walking a dog and the dog escapes and runs on to a private property, the girls decide that they will take the risk and find the dog. After five minutes an old man comes out and starts yelling at them to get off his property; they leave but come back later to search for the dog. The old man hears them then calls the police. The girls hear the police, they spot a barn and run into it. The red head hides with the chickens, the brunette with the pigs and the blond with the potatoes. The police check out the barn and first check out the chickens the redhead becoming desperate starts saying "Bock bock bock" They don't think anyone is there and they move onto the pigs. The brunette becoming desperate went "Oink, oink oink!" the police think nobody is there and moves on to the potatoes and the blond becoming desperate goes "Potato, Potato, Potato!"

A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city.
Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse.
The farmer welcomed them in but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals.
After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn.
Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse.
The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep.
There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig.
The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief.
A short time later, another knock was heard at the door.
The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and that every time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst nightmare, that of burning to death.
The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn.
This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later, when another knock was heard at the door.
When the occupants answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.