Police Knock Knock Jokes

40 police knock knock jokes and hilarious police knock knock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about police knock knock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Best Short Police Knock Knock Jokes

Short police knock knock puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The police knock knock humour may include short work knock knock jokes also.

A police man knocked on my door the other morning and said 'it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck' I said 'I know'
A Police officer knocks on the door and says to the man I'm sorry to say this sir but it looks like your girlfriend's been hit by a truck. The man replied, Yeah, but she has a great personality
A police officer just knocked on my door... and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. Pfft, my dogs don't even own bikes, idiot.
The police knocked on my door last night and asked "Where were you between 3 and 4 ?" I said, "Nursery!!!"
I was very surprised when the police knocked on my door and wanted to interview me Especially as I never applied.
Brings little Johny a can to policeman and asks:
Can you please open the can? Policeman knocks at it:
Please open the door, police...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about police knock knock can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of police knock knock puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Police Knock Knock One Liners

Which police knock knock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with police knock knock? I can suggest the ones about couple knock knock and kids knock knock.

Knock knock? Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Your wife's dead.
Want to hear a police knock knock joke? BANG!
Knock Kncok Who's there?
Police brutality
Police brutal...
STOP RESISTING!

Comical Police Knock Knock Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about police knock knock you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean sleep knock knock jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make police knock knock prank.

My Favorite Latvian Joke

One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask "Who is?"
"Is potato man. I come around to give free potato."
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man,
is secret police.

It's funny because it's true. It's frustrating because it's true.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Police, open up, you're under arrest
"Police open up you're under arrest" who?
Alright, now you're charged with resisting arrest too.

A man is sitting at home and a police officer knocks on his door.

The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, "Yes I am."
He then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife. "Sure hold on a second."
The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train."
The man says, "I know, but she has a good personality and is an excellent cook."

A hearty laugh after a long time.

A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.
The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"

A police officer knocks on a man's door.

The officer asks, "Is this the Sorkin residence?" The man nods.
"May I see a picture of your wife?" The man hands the officer a picture off a shelf.
The officer sighs, "It looks like she was hit by a train."
" I know, but she's such a nice lady and an excellent cook!"

Two cops come to a guy's door

Knock knock
- Who's there?
- Police, please open the door.
- What do you want?
- We just want to talk.
- How many of you are there?
- Just the two of us.
- Well, talk then.

p**... goes to the pub...

He's drunk 16 pints of beer, and decides to walk home along the canal.
As he's walking along the canal he see's a chap who's just thrown himself in the canal, p**... reacts bravely and rescues him.
The next day the police knock on p**...'s door, they ask him did he save a bloke who jumped in the canal, p**... explains he did and that he doesn't want any special treatment or medals.
The police explain that he shouldn't of bothered, because he hung himself.
p**... replies, "No he didn't, I put him up there to dry!"
Courtesy of Dennis Taylor (UK Snooker Player)

The police knocked on my door the other night...

...and informed me that they were there to take my dog away. Apparently there had been complaints that he was chasing down and barking at my neighbors' son on his bike.
I happen to know, however, that my dog doesn't ride a bike.

Russian knock-knock jokes (A Latvian Joke Tribute Song)

In light of recent political tensions, my girlfriend's dad and I sat down and tried to come up with some Russian knock-knock jokes.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Potato.
Potato who?
Just kidding, is secret police.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ukraine
Ukraine who?
Ukraine your neck left, see secret police.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Putin.
Putin who?
Putin your family is Gulag for asking so many question.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Secret police.
Secret police who?
If I told you, wouldn't be secret.

A police officer pulls over a driver...

A police officer pulls over a driver and
informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks. The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car." Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"

When Police Knock On Your Door

Police: Knock Knock
Me: Who is it?
Police: its the Police.
Me: What do you want?
Police: We just wanna talk
Me: How many of you are there?
Police: 2
Me: Then talk to each other.

Two men are driving down the road....

A police officer pulls them over and approaches the car. He knocks on the window and they roll it down.
The officer says "excuse me gentlemen we are looking for two child molesters in the area."
The driver rolls the window up for a moment and converses with his passenger. After a moment he rolls the window back down.
"OK officer, we'll do it."

A police officer pulls over a driver...

There was a knock at my door.

I said, "Who is it?" and they told me that it was the police. I asked them what they wanted and they said that they wanted to investigate my property for m**....
I said, "I haven't got any. Now be on your way."
"Well then," they said, "what harm is there in us checking?"
I said, "Because you might find the c**...."

A car

A police officer stopped a car on the highway and went up to the driver. He saw the man, and said: "You've just won $1000 for wearing a seat belt! What are you going to do with your prize money?" The man thought, and said back: "Maybe go to the driving school and get my licence!" His wife told the cop: "Don't listen to him, he's a smartass when he's drunk".
All of this talking made a passenger in the back of the car wake up, and he blurted out: "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car. Why didn't you change the number plate?" A knock emerged from the trunk of the car, and the person in the trunk said: "Are we at the border yet?"

A police officer knocked on my door last night.

He held up a picture and said to me, "Is this your wife?"
"Yes, that's her", I replied to him.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this" the officer said, "but it looks like she's been in a car c**...".
"I know" I replied, but she has a lovely personality".

A man stops to ask directions from a farmer sitting on his porch and is amazed to see a three-legged pig sitting at the farmer's feet.

"That's a weird-looking pig," the man says. The farmer is furious. "Don't you ever say anything bad about this pig!" he says. "Just last week my wife and I were sleeping, and a fire broke out. This pig dragged us both to safety. Last month a robber broke into the house. The pig knocked him down, dialed 911 with his snout and sat on him until the police arrived. So don't ever say anything bad about him."
"I'm sorry," the man says. "But what's the deal with the three legs?"
"Mister," the farmer says, "a pig like this you don't eat all at once."

When interacting with police follow their instructions carefully

Me: [hears knock on door] "Who is it?"
Trooper: "State Police identify yourself."
Me: "Police identify yourself"
Trooper: "State Police"
Me: "Police"

One night, a Police officer knocks on a woman's door...

"Ma'am", he says, removing his hat, "we have bad and good news".
"bad news first" the woman replies.
"I'm sorry, but a serial killer attacked your husband, cut his skin off and threw his corpse in the harbor"
The woman begins crying. "so what's the good news?"
"When we pulled him up he had 20 four-pound lobsters crawling on him. Want one?"
"No way. that's disgusting!" the woman sobbed
"Well, if you change your mind, we're pulling him up again tomorrow"

"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.

"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."
The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.
"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.

5 Minutes !

The police just knocked on my door and asked Where were you around 8.05pm last night sir?"
"Funny you should ask," I replied. "I took the wife upstairs at 8pm to make love."
"Yes officer, that's true," my wife shouted over, "But god knows where he was at five past."

Two cops get to this guy's house to have a talk

Knock knock
Cop: Police here. Is anyone home?
Guy (yet inside the house): Yes. Why?
Cop: We just want to have a talk.
Guy: How many of you are there?
Cop: There's 2 of us!
Guy: Great, so you can talk with each other! Bye.

An alternate version of a racist joke

A black man goes to a club and hits it off with an attractive white woman. Eventually they head back to her place and start u**.... As the woman is taking the man's pants off, she says "now... show me what you guys are really famous for".
So a police offer knocks down the door and shoots him.

A man is sitting at home when he gets a knock on the door from a police officer…

The officer asks the man if he is married, and the man replies yes, I am.
He then asks the man if he has a recent photograph of his wife. The man tells the officer to hold on one moment while he pulls out his phone to show him a picture of her.
The officer takes one look at the photo and tells the man I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train...
The man says yes, I'm aware of that, But she has a great personality, makes me laugh, and it is a really excellent cook!

Someone knocked on my door.

"Who's there?" I asked.
"Police," replied two men.
I asked them what they wanted. "We need to investigate your property for cannabis."
"I haven't got any," I said. "Now be on your way."
"Sir," they said, "what harm is there in us checking?"
"Because you might find the c**...," I answered.

Police Officer (Outside the house): Knocks on a mans door

Man (From inside the house): "Who are you?
Police Officer: "We are the police. You are requested to open the door."
Man: "Why? What do you want?"
Police Officer: "We just want to talk"
Man: "How many of you are there?
Police Officer: "There's two of us"
Man: "Perfect talk to each other"

There's a knock at the door and a man answers it.

Its a police officer. The cop says,"Sir it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck." The man says, "Yeah I know but she has a great personality."

Celebrity m**...

Dwayne Johnson was murdered in a hotel room he was staying at. Police were called as soon as the body was discovered, and they did some investigating.
An officer knocked on the door of someone living one floor down. He asked the man who answered if he heard anything unusual above him, but he didn't know what the officer was talking about.
He was living under The Rock all this time and had no idea what was going on.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these police knock knock jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.

Police Knock Knock Jokes

Best Short Police Knock Knock Jokes

Police Knock Knock One Liners