Police Car Jokes

96 police car jokes and hilarious police car puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about police car that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Best Short Police Car Jokes

Short police car puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The police car humour may include short police man jokes also.

  1. A police officer stopped my mom's car. Officer: First name?
    Mom: Frida
    Officer: Last name?
    Mom: Gomam
    Officer: So you're Frida Gomam?
    And my mom hit the accelerator.
  2. A police man spots a blond driving a car and knitting at the same time. He gets her to roll down her window.
    Pull over he yells. No silly she replies it's a scarf !
  3. A car is pulled over by the police.... "Is there a problem officer?"
    Cop: You were swerving a lot back there
    "Well I had 8 beers officer,"
    Cop: We'll that's no excuse to let your wife drive
  4. If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.
  5. I don't get why I just got seated in the back of the police car... I clearly called shotgun.
  6. WANTED: Someone has stolen the wheels to the police cars The police is working tirelessly to find the suspect
  7. Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
  8. Why do Boston police cars have blue lights? Because Boston drivers don't stop for red lights.
  9. A man has been stealing wheels of police cars Police are working tirelessly to catch him
    Note: saw it on 9gag but I had to share it because I literally was laughing out loud
  10. Someone has been stealing the wheels from local cop cars The police are working tirelessly to catch them.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about police car can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of police car puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Police Car One Liners

Which police car one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with police car? I can suggest the ones about police uniform and car part.

  1. What video game system do police officers play in their cars? Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...
  2. What sound does a Nintendo police car make? Wii-U Wii-U Wii-U
  3. A black man and his latino friend are in a car. Who's driving? The police.
  4. Two mexicans are in a car. Who drives? The police officer
  5. Why do black people buy old police cars? They never got to ride in the front seat.
  6. A black guy, a mexican and an italian are in a car. Who's driving? A police officer.
  7. A black, a mexican and a gipsy sit in a Car. Who is driving the car? The police.
  8. What's black and always in the back of a police car? The seat.
  9. Why couldn't the police solve the case of the flat car battery? They had no leads.
  10. What do you call a potato and an ear of corn in a police car? Starchy and Husk
  11. A black man, a muslim and a gypsy were in a car. Who was driving? A police officer.
  12. What's the best car safety device? A rearview mirror with a police car in it.
  13. Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect
  14. What part of a police car sounds disappointed? The sighren.
  15. Two tattooed people ride in a car, who is driving? The police

Police Car Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about police car you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean police dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make police car prank.

A woman wakes up to her husband crying in bed today

"What's wrong, dear?" she asks.
"Do you remember 20 years ago, when your father caught us having s**... in the back of his police car?"
"I remember," she says.
"And when he told me to marry you right then, or he'd make sure I spent the next 20 years in jail?"
"Of course I remember," she says. "But why are you crying?"
"I would have gotten out today."

A Calculus student is stuck in traffic...

After waiting 20 minutes with little movement, he decides to catch up on his homework. 5 Minutes in, he feels thirsty and realizes he has an unopened bottle of Coke in his backpack. He takes it out and opens it. However, as soon as he takes his first sip, a nearby police car start flashing it's lights and orders him to pull over to the side. When the cop reaches his car, the student asks:
"What am I being stopped for?"
The cop answers:
"Drinking and deriving."

There's a man in the town who's stealing wheels of police cars..

The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

A man made an i**... U-turn at a red light when taking his son to school. He said, Oh no! I have made an i**... U-turn!

The son replied, It's ok, dad. The police car behind us did the same thing!

2 police officers were called to a domestic a**...,

2 police officers were called to a domestic a**... call. when they got there they had to call for backup. 2 police cars showed up making it 6 officers at the scene,
they called headquarters and spoke to their Captain.
"Captain we have a m**... here"
"what happened?"
"a wife shot and killed her husband for walking on her still wet mopped kitchen floor"
"well, have you arrested her yet?"
"Not yet, the kitchen floor is still wet."

A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars

Police are working tirelessly to catch him

A man is standing on the Red Square in Moscow with a banner: "Death to the b**... madman"

Promptly, the police appears. "What, are you against our glorious leader Vladimir Putin?". And so the police beats him up.
"Wait, stop! I was protesting against Zelensky - the b**... madman!" - the man shouts as he is being dragged into the police car.
"Shut up, you. We all know who the b**... madman is here".

A Man Has Been Stealing Tires From Police Cars

The police have been working tire-lessly to catch him

A Belarusian joke

A guy is walking down the street in Minsk, the capital of Belarus very close to the protests when suddenly a police car full of cops pulls up. The cops jump out of the car and start beating up the guy.
The poor guy then yells: "No, please, stop! I voted for Lukashenko!"
One of the cops then responds: "Shut up, liar! No one voted for Lukashenko!"

What happens when you accidentally pee on a police car?

u**... trouble

Los Angeles announced plans to lease 288 all-electric police cars. Do you know where they'll use them?

In Watts.
I'll see myself out now.

After almost hitting 2 cars, a man gets pulled over by a police car

The officer asked,"can I see your license, please". After rummaging through his stuff, he passes his license to the officer. "Sir, your license indicates that you must wear glasses to drive".
"Oh," the man said,
"I didn't see that".

Did to hear about the theif who was stealing the tires off of police cars?

They're working tirelessly the catch him!

Have you heard about the guy stealing wheels of police cars?

The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

A man is on the run stealing wheels from police cars

The police is working tirelessly to catch him.

Wanted: a man has been stealing wheels off of police cars

police are working tirelessly to catch him.

Werner Heisenberg is driving down a highway...

...when he sees a police car is flashing its lights at him. He pulls over, and so does the cop. The cops gets out, taps on Heisenberg's window, he rolls it down.
"Sir," the cop asks, "do you know how fast you were going?"
"No," Heisenberg replies, "but I know where I am."

A man gets woken up by intruders in his house.

He phones the police and says "There's people robbing my house, please send help".
They dispatcher says there's no cars or police available.
The man hangs up and phones back 2 minutes later.
"I just shot the guys. They're both here with bullets in them"
2 minutes later, police cars, helicopters, armed forces, counter-t**... police turn up and raid the house, catching the burglars in the act.
The police looked confused and asked "You said you shot them!"
The man replied "You said there were no police available."

I've just witnessed a police car c**... into a fire engine in town.

I was going to ring for an ambulance, but that could've been asking for trouble.

A police officer arrests a drunk man

After minutes of hassle getting the man in the police car, they're finally ready to go.
The officers turns around and says "Please fasten your seatbelt".
The man smirks and says "It's ok. Nobody will pull us over"

Pulled Over

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking blonde woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell of liquor on her breath. He said, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol."
She blew the breathalyzer and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."
She turned red, and replied, "You mean it shows that, too?"

Pull over

An old woman was driving and knitting on the motorway. She was serving across the lanes when a police car overtook her flashing all the lights.
As it drew level a policeman wound down his window and shouted to her "Pull over!".
"No" she shouted back. "Pair of socks!"

m**... and Trouble are playing hide and seek

m**... goes and hide behind a police car. The ploice officer asks: "What is your name kid?" "m**..." says m**.... To which the officer awnsers: "are you looking for trouble?" "No, sir. Trouble's looking for me!

Ray Manzarek, Ric Ocasek, and Sting were talking about forming a new band after moving on from their previous bands.

They were going to call themselves The Police Car Doors.

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out.
The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…and couldn’t find his way home.
” Oy Morris “, said grandma, ” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years !
So how could you get lost ?
” Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear.
Morris whispered, ” I wasn’t lost…..I was just too tired to walk home.”

What do you call a black guy who jumps into an empty police car and speeds away?

A police officer.

Dude: "Hey Alexa, set a daily alarm for 420pm"

Alexa: "Police car dispatched"

You are driving a car...

You are driving a car, you have a firetruck behind you, a horse in front of you, a plane to your left flying ground level, a Police car to your right, all have the same speed as you, you are boxed in what you do to get out?

How is a police car like a women?
It flashes and It usually has a d*c**... in it.

Why do police cars have sirens and flashing lights?

So the deaf drivers can see them and the blind drivers can hear them.

Just the other day, I stopped at the gas station where I always stop after work. There were police cars, ambulances, fire trucks, etc everywhere.

What do you call a machine with two d**... inside?

A police car.

What do women and police cars have in common?
They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

A high guy went to buy more drugs

when he saw a police car passing on his way, he threw the money and run away!

What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I think I just made an i**... turn!" the man said.
"It's okay, Dad," the boy said, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out.
The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home.
"Now Homer", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost ?"
Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear.
Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."

A cop saw a car weaving all ov

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.
He said, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol."
She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."
She replied, "You mean it shows that, too?"

So two guys are trying to find a place to smoke w**......

One of them suggest a field nearby where some cows are grazing. So they light up and are smoking when a police car turns on the sirens and pulls down the road. What are we going to do? says one of the guys. Give the joint to the cow. When the cops get over here, they can't arrest us because we aren't the ones smoking! says another. Out of any other options, they put the joint in the cows mouth. Man we could get in a lot of trouble says one. The other replies, Yeah, the steaks are pretty high

What's black and orange in the back and w**... in the front

An american police car

A guy is speeding on the highway..

A police officer notices him and starts following him, trying to pull him over. Instead, the guy just speeds up more and more, trying to dodge the officer. The officer is having none of it, and after a a wild chase and a couple more police cars involved the guy is finally stopped.
The officer walks up to the guy's car and asks' "Sir, can you tell me why you were speeding?"
"Well, you see officer, last week my wife ran off with a police officer, and I was just so afraid that you were bringing her back!"

Blonde joke

A blonde is speeding down the highway and notices the flashing lights of a police car behind her. She slows down and pulls over to wait for the police officer, who also happens to be a blonde.
The police officer asks her for her driver's license. The driver says:"I'm not sure what that is... what does it look like?"
Police officer:"It's a little square and it has your picture on it."
Driver: Reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out her compact, looks at her self in the mirror, seems satisfied and hands it to the officer.
Police officer:"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were police officer! Have a nice day. You can go now."

A blonde is driving down the street...

Suddenly she is stopped by a police car. A police officer gets out of the car and walks up to her car and says: "Ma'am I'm gonna need to see your papers and your drivers license."
The blonde hands him her papers but looks at the police officer confused and asks: "Aren't my papers and my drivers license the same thing?"
"No Ma'am, your drivers license is like a small flat thing with a picture of you on it.
The blonde is searching her back when she suddenly yells:" Found it!" and hands the police officer a mirror.
The police officer replies:" Oh, I'm sorry. If i would have known you worked for the police too i would't have stopped you!"

Why should you bring friends when tipping a police car for Hillary?

Stronger Together.

What did the police car say to the muscle car?


Sitting in the back of a police car

"Excuse me, could I have the AUX chord, please?"

How did the mobster burn his lips on a tailpipe?

He tried to blow up a police car.

So a guy named Mike applies to join a Chicago police department.

"The first test is to lift a bag that is the size of a human and carry it to safety out of a building.", says the chief.
Mike succeeds.
"Next, you must show us your driving skills and show that you can handle a police car.", the chief says.
Mike succeeds.
"Now, for your final test, I want you to go shoot a black teenager and three songbirds.", says the chief.
"Why should I shoot three songbirds?", says Mike.
"Congratulations, you've got the job!", says the chief.

Why police cars are sign of segregation?

cuz b**... are always at back

A man gets arrested...

*in the back of a police car*
can ya'll hand me the aux cord?

Driving a brand new Bugatti

A senior citizen drove his brand new Bugatti to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror , he saw a police car behind him.
He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 170, ...
Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense !"
So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him .
The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes.
Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend.
If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before for why you were speeding.
I'll let U go."
The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :-
"Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!
The Cop left saying,
" Have a good Night , Sir"

What does a Mexican police car sound like?

Beeeeeaner, Beeeeeaner, Beeeeeaner, Beeeeeaner!

so this guy is speeding down a highway, and a cop appears behind him and pulls him over.

the cop comes up to the man and says, "why were you speeding today sir?" the man replies, "i'm a juggler in a circus, and i'm just trying to get to my next show. I apologize."
the cop looks intrigued, and says "if you can prove to me you're a juggler, I'll let you go with a warning."
the man says, "officer, I don't have my equipment with me, I had to ship it seperately." the officer thinks for a minute, and brings back some flares from his car and lights them.
the juggler immediately starts throwing them up and catching them, and the officer is very impressed.
meanwhile, another man driving by pulls over and stops his car. he gets out and immediately walks into the back seat of the police car and closes the door. the officer comes back and says "why did you get into my car?"
the man replies, his words slurred, "i ain't never gonna pass that new sobriety test you got there"

Music Joke

One day, a bassoonist for a symphony got very sick and spent a whole day of rehearsal in the hospital. He recovers and is sent home to see his house surrounded by police cars. He goes up to the officer in charge and asks, "Officer, what happened?"
"Well," the officer said, "while you were away, the conductor of your symphony came by your house to talk to you. He was angry that you didn't come to rehearsal, and when he found that you weren't home, he killed your entire family in anger."
"I can't believe it..." the bassoonist said in disbelief. "The conductor wanted to talk to *me*?"

Three drunks sitting at a bar

Three drunks sitting at a bar discussing who was the most drunk the previous day.
1st drunk says "I was so drunk last night i went home and blew chunks".
The 2nd drunk says "that's nothing! I was so drunk last night I drove home and crashed into a tree, kicked my front door down and woke up in the garden!".
3rd drunk says "that's nothing! I was so drunk last night I stole a police car drove it into my house, threw the TV out of the window and wet the bed!".
The 1st drunk says "I don't think you understood me, Chunks is my dog.".

I had a flat tire the other day...

I had a flat tire on the I-95 yesterday; so, I pulled over, got out of the car and opened my trunk.
I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.
They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe it!
Just as I had hoped, cars started slowing down looking at the men which made it much safer for me to work
on the side of the road.
People honked and waved, and it wasn't long before a police car pulled up behind me.
He wanted to know what the heck I was doing, so I calmly explained that I was changing my flat.
He told me he could see that, but demanded to know what the heck the n**... cardboard men were
doing standing at the rear of my car.
I couldn't believe he didn't know!
So I told him .... "Well, I explained to the angry Policeman ....
They're my Emergency Flashers!!!!"
I go to court in August.

Physics Joke!

Heisenberg is speeding along down an unfamiliar highway when all of a sudden a police car appears seemingly out of nowhere and signals for him to pull over.
The officer approaches the car and asks, "Do you have any idea how fast you were just going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, sir. Why?"
The officer says, "Well, sir, you were speeding, and I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
Heisenberg, annoyed, asks, "Is this really necessary? I'm going to be late to work!"
The officer replies, "Well, I'm sorry to have to hold you up, sir, but you were driving incredibly irresponsibly! According to my radar gun, you were going exactly 90 miles per hour, which far exceeds the speed limit."
"Thanks a lot, j**...," Heisenberg yelled, "I'll be even later now that I'm COMPLETELY LOST!"

the ambulance and the toe

Last night I was coming home from work in the city, driving country roads to get home.
I looked in my rear view mirror and saw an ambulance with its lights on. I pulled over and as the ambulance passed by, I noticed the back door open up a little. The ambulance hit a small bump and out fell an ice chest.
I quickly pulled off the road and rushed over to the ice chest and opened it up. Inside was a human toe in the ice. I knew I wouldn't be able to catch the ambulance so I got in my car and rushed to the nearest gas station to call 911 (my cell phone was dead). They told me they'd send a car right away but all of their police cars were in use and told me just to wait 20 minutes.
So I waited 20 minutes for the tow truck to show up.

A blonde woman in a sports car is cruising down the highway...

...when she gets pulled over by a police car.
Who should step out of the police car but a female, blonde cop.
The cop walks up to the blonde in the sports car and says Hi. I noticed you were going a little fast back there. Can I see your driver's license?
The blonde grabs her purse and rummages around for a minute and then looks at the cop and says um, what does it look like?
The cop says It's a little square thing and it has your picture on it.
The blonde looks back in her purse and spots a little square compact mirror. She pulls it out and looks at it. Sure enough, right there in the middle is her face.
She hands it to the police officer. The cop takes a look at it and immediately hands it back.
Oh, I'm sorry, you're free to go. I didn't know you were a cop.

Are you aware you broke the speed limit?

A man and his wife were driving on the motorway when a police car signalled for them to pull over.
Having stopped, the police officer walked over to the car and asked the man to unwind his window:
''Sir, are you aware of how fast you were just driving?''
The man replies, ''I'm sure I didn't break the speed limit officer.''
''Well I just clocked you at 78''
''Impossible officer, I never went over 70.''
''I can assure you sir, you were well over the legal speed limit''
''Well I can assure YOU that I never went over 70!''
At this point the man's wife interrupts: ''Excuse me officer, you're wasting your time''
''How so?'' replies the policeman
''There's no point arguing with my husband after he's had this much to drink''

So a while back the Pope went on a visit...

to a city. He was trying to get across town without attracting too much attention, so instead of the Popemobile, he was driving in a heavily armored SUV with very tinted windows.
So the chauffeur is driving the Pope around, and the Pope gets to wondering. "Man," he thinks, "I haven't driven in ages, not since I was a bishop." He promptly orders the chauffeur to pull over and get in the back seat. The Pope gets in front, slams his foot down on the gas, and barrels down Main Street.
The Pope is a terrible driver, and extremely out of practice. He crashes into street lights, fire hydrants, small children, everything. Eventually a police car comes, sirens blaring, and the Pope pulls over.
The cop gets out of his car and taps on the window, and the Pope rolls the window down. The cop and the Pope stare at each other for a while, and then the cop nods and walks back to his squad car. The Pope drives off.
A nearby witness, who has seen the whole thing, runs over to the cop.
"Officer!" he asks, "Why didn't you arrest that man, or at least give him a ticket?"
The cop shakes his head and says: "He's too important to arrest."
The man says: "Who could be so important that they could get away with *that*?"
The cop replies: "I don't know, but he's got the Pope as his driver."

An elderly man who just retired

Went out and purchased a Porshe. He decided that he would go take his brand new car for a ride and see what it could do.
As he was speeding around the country side he sped past a police car on the side of the road.
The officer noticing him going well above the speed limit gave chase. The elderly man looking in his rear vision mirror noticed. Swearing he put his foot down easily outpacing the police car.
Only one minute later the elderly man said to himself "what am I doing. This is no way to live my retirement I could get killed doing this" and proceed to pull over and wait for the police car to catch up.
As the officer got out and asked for his Licence and registration the elderly man looked up and said "I'm very sorry officer I just retired today and purchased this new car, I was just trying to have fun"
The officer thought for a moment and said " Look sir I do understand belive it or not today is my last day on the job as well. I tell you what if you can tell me a good reason for speeding off when I gave chase I will let you go."
The old man thought for a moment and replied "Well officer you see my wife recently cheated on me with a police offer and left me. I saw you in my mirror and thought you were trying to give her back" the officer smiled and replied. "Have a good day sir"

His Limo Driver

The pope is visiting the US, at the airport a huge black limo is waiting and the driver opens the door for him. The pope can't take an eye from the car and asks if - for this special occasion and only for a few miles - he could be the driver. Surprised by this unusual request the driver, after some discussion about driving carefully, finally agrees. So the pope enjoys driving down the highway and soon he forgets about speed limits and he is driving as fast as he can. A nearby police car notices the speeding limo and finally the pope gets pulled over. The officer, after taking a quick look at the driver, rushes to call his boss. "Sir, I have a difficult situation here, I have a speeding limo but I think we might have caught someone high up and don't know what to do." "So, who is it? The governor?" "No Sir, higher up" "Someone from the white house?" "I think much higher, Sir!" "Who can possibly be higher up than the president?" "I don't know Sir, but, you see, the pope is his driver!"

A guy flags down a passing police car

Ossifer! Ossifer! You gotta help me. My car's been stolen.
Sir, are you sure it was stolen? it looks to me like you've had a bit to drink tonight. Are you sure you know where you left it?
Certainly I do! Don't be ridiculous. It was right here on the end of this key.
Sir, why don't you have a seat in the car, and I'll take you down to the station where they will take a report about your car. Before we do that, I'm going to have to tell you that your fly is unzipped and you're exposing yourself. You need to tuck yourself back in and zip up.
Oh my God! They got my girl, too!

The Pain Machine

A man and his wife are on their way to the hospital because the wife is soon to go into labor. When they arrive, the doctor asks them if they'd be willing to try out an experimental treatment option to alleviate the pain felt by the wife during childbirth. They decide to try it out, and the doctor hooks up a lot of electrodes between the wife and husband.
"This device will take a certain percentage of the pain that you are feeling and transfer it to the father of the child. If he is comfortable with it, you can transfer more and more of the pain, and you won't feel a thing."
She goes into labor, and the doctor starts the machine off at 10%. The husband feels fine, so he tells the doctor he can increase it if he wants to. The doctor increases to 20%, and the husband shows no signs of change. The doctor goes all the way to 35% and the husband starts to get c**... when he still feels fine.
"Know what, doc? Up it to 100%. I think I can take it."
The doctor cranks the machine to 100%, and the husband shows no outward signs of pain. "Ha, honey I knew you women complained too much about this stuff. I don't feel a thing!"
The child is born healthy, and the parents leave the hospital a few days later. They pull up at their house to see police cars in front and their neighbors crowded around. Their next-door neighbor Joe comes up to them in the car, hysterical.
"Karl! Karl! They just found the milkman dead on your front porch!"

A man and his wife didn't want their young son Timmy to know they were having a q**...... they told him to go out on the balcony and give them a blow-by-blow account of the neighborhood comings and goings.
so Timmy goes out and begins reciting, "The Johnsons got a new car, there's a police car over at the Shaws' place, Jason Mitchell is sneaking out of his house, and the Ledfords are having s**...."
The parents are shocked. "Timmy!" the mom cried, "how on Earth do you know they're having s**...?"
Timmy rolls his eyes and replies, "Their kid's out on the balcony too."

One evening a old man is traveling at 70mph in a 30mh zone a little further down the road.
A police car pulls him over and tells him "I've been following you for 5 minutes and you kept accelerating."
The police officer says to the speeder "I finish my shift in 2 minutes. If you can give me an excuse I haven't heard before I will let you go as it will save me any paper work."
The speeder replies "My wife ran away with a police officer 3 years ago, I thought you were bringing her back."
The police officer returns to his patrol car and drives a way.

A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed.
She could see the light was on from the bedroom window.
As the man looked for himself he saw that there were people in the shed taking things.
The man phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.
He said "OK," hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back.
"Hello" he said, "I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed.
Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've shot them."
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works.
Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you shot Them!" The man replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk.
The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb.
Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"
To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these police car jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.