The Best 47 Poles Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Poles jokes. There are some poles knowledgeable jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these poles toboggan puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Poles Jokes and Puns

Why don't Nazi's like strip clubs?

Because, they don't like Poles.

2 Poles are watching a Football game...

There is an attack by one team and the first Polish dude says:

-I bet you 20 bucks he will not score

-You are on - Replies the second one.

The attack goes through and the person scores. So the the first
pole reaches for his wallet, but the second one stops him saying:

-I cheated a little, this is a rerun I knew he'd score, keep your money.

-I also watched the game before, though I am still surprised the goalie let the same goal happen twice.

The Polish Astronauts.

Ya' ever hear the one about the Polish Astronauts?

Yeah, so they decided to go on a mission to the sun. The Americans called them up saying, "Poland! You can't go to the sun! You'll burn alive!"

The Poles responded, "AHA! We go at night!"

Poles joke, The Polish Astronauts.

Have you heard about the Polish strip club?

There are Poles everywhere.

2 Polish Guys

Were trying to measure the height of a flagpole. They had a tape measure with them and were trying to climb the flagpole, measure in hand. A man walks by and says, "why don't you guys just lay it on the ground and measure it?" One of the Poles replies, "Because we want to measure its height, not length!"


Paddy the irishman gets a job

Paddy and his friend were hired to install telegraph poles.
After his first day his boss approaches and asks how many poles he put down yesterday.
paddy says "2"
"2!!" says his boss, "My other guys can put 10-15 poles in a day"
"yes, but do you see how far theirs are sticking out of the ground"

Daddy, what's it like being drunk?

A little girl goes up to her dad and asks "Daddy, what does it feel like being drunk?" "Well," the father replies "You see those 2 telephone poles over there in the distance?" he says, pointing in the direction of the poles. "A drunk person would see 4 telephone poles there." The little girl, confused, replies "But daddy, there is only one telephone pole over there"

Poles joke, Daddy, what's it like being drunk?

Why didn't Hitler go to strip clubs?

Because he didn't like poles.

What do firemen and Eastern European prostitutes have in common?

They both go down on poles.

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles

(for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

What do you call a Polish strip club?

Poles on poles

You can explore poles acetone reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean poles strippers dad jokes. There are also poles puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I think Hitler was gay.

After all, he sure loved licking the poles.

Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

Because opposite poles attract

What did the poles do during world war two?

They held the telephone wires off the ground.

Why is eastern europe filled with strippers?

Because they like Poles.

It's no wonder that Trump likes the Russians so much...

...as neither of them have a good history with the Poles.

Poles joke, It's no wonder that Trump likes the Russians so much...

Why do Trump supporters enjoy polish people at his rally...

so that they can say that their ahead in the Poles.

Polish gram-pa said it.

I told a psychiatric ward patient to stand in the middle of two black poles ...

and he did it ! The absolute madman!

What's the worst thing about the poles melting?

Santa is drowning...


It's so sad...

that trees look at telephone poles, and think that being tall and skinny is the only way to get people talking.

TIL there are two Slavic nations located on the opposite sides of the globe.

They are North and South Poles.

The World Map has been revised; The North and South poles are where you'd expect, but...

...all the other Poles are in Britain.

An attractive woman was reading The History of Penises on the bus the other day...

... I struck up a conversations opening with "That seems interesting"

She responds: "It really is! Did you know that Native Americans have the longest penises in the world? And Poles the girthiest!"

She extends her hand, I grab it and say... "Tonto Polanski, pleasure to meet you"

A roofer gets to choose how to get onto the roof. He can either use a scissor lift or a series of steps between two metal poles.

He chose the ladder.

Polish people are really knowledgeable about politics.

Every time the news is on they keep saying "Let's see what the Poles have to say."

What did Jesus say to the Poles before he went up to Heaven?

"Play dumb until I get back."
[Favorite joke of my Polish friend Ania.]

Why do so many politicians have sexual indiscretions?

Because they like to see their poles rise.

Can you work a pole?

So the other night my friends and I are having a few drinks and our one female friend is an ex-stripper, so we got into the topic of dancing and she looked at me and said yeah, can you work a pole xschlots? And for some reason the first comment that comes out is I mean yeah my family's mostly German. Working poles was our thing I have never heard a more deafening silence followed by laughter

Last night Philadelphia residents climbed light poles, flipped over cars, and set dumpsters on fire

Then things really got out of hand when they learned the Eagles won the Super Bowl

Why don't firemen have poles any more?

Immigration limits.

How did the Germans take over Poland so quickly?

They marched in backwards, so the Poles thought they were leaving.

Why did the blonde schoolgirl never try to go fishing?

She learned there's only two poles on earth.

What will happen when the Earth's magnetic poles flip?

I dunno, but I heard Santa's been interviewing penguins to see if they can pull a sleigh.

How many polish people do you need to form a place of congregation?

Ten poles

Why does Hitler dislike strip clubs?

Too many Poles.

Why don't Germans and Russians seem to get along?

Maybe because they're Poles apart.

Valentines special! $500.00

We arrest you in front of your wife and release you on Sunday.
It includes fishing license, poles, boat fees, tent, beers and all necessities for the whole weekend.
We come in full police uniforms and blue lights.

Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing.

As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice." Ole and Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, "There are no fish under the ice." They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?" The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."

Why does Hitler not like going to strip clubs?

He hates the Poles

Why are strippers and Hitler similar?

They both like to keep a firm grip on the Poles.

Why are drunk drivers the best voters?

Because they always hit the poles.

Why don't fire stations have poles any more?

Brexit.

Once, me and my family wanted to bake some marshmallows in the campfire.

We had the poles with marshmallows sticked to them prepared when we heard sirens. We all ran out to see what happened. The neighbours' house was on fire and I saw a lot of firefighters trying to get the fire under control. The neighbours looked at us with pure disgust. That was the moment I realized we were still holding the sticks with marshmallows.

I was trying to milk a goat once...

One evening, I was going to milk a goat in the barn. As I started, the goat tried to kick me by her back leg. So I took a rope and tied her leg to one of the wooden poles in the barn.

I tried to continue, but she tried to kick me by the other back leg, so I took another rope and tied it to the other pole.

Then, as I was bending to start milking her again, my belt buckle cracked, the belt came loose and my pants fell down...



And my wife came to the barn...



There are some situations, you are just not able to explain.

Little Timmy is skiing on a mountain with his family

At a certain point, he decides that it would be nice if he impressed his mother, so he shouts: "look mom, without hands!", then proceeds to drop the ski poles on the snow and go down.

After he manages to return on the top, he shouts again: "look mom, without seeing!" then puts his wool hat on his eyes and go down, but he crashes against a tree out of his family's sight.

Then he returns again up, and shouts to his mother: "look mom, without teeth!"

Poland is full of Poles

Holland is full of Holes

Three men applied to put up telephone poles.

The foreman sent them each out with a truck and 20 poles, telling them to come back after 8 hours.

The first man returns and says "I put up 12 poles."

The second man returns and says "I put up 15 poles."

The third man returns and says "I put up 3 poles."

"Three?" asks the foreman. "These two guys put up nearly thirty between them and you only put up three?"

"Yeah," the third man says, "But you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the poles flagpole jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working poles polish piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes