Pole Jokes
171 pole jokes and hilarious pole puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pole that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for some laughs about the poles? From North to South Pole, this article has jokes about totem poles, flag poles, telephone poles, fishing poles, and light poles. Plus, unique jokes about turdles, nigors, and Lithuanians! Check it out!
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Funniest Pole Short Jokes
Short pole jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pole humour may include short pane jokes also.
- Did you hear about the pole vault champion of North Korea? He's now the pole vault champion of South Korea.
- I ran my car into a pole late last night The worst part was the awful sound it made, but I don't speak polish so I just kept driving
- Guy passes a buff guy on the street and asks, "Are you a pole vaulter?" He says, "No, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"
- Olympics, the new tower of Babel The German Olympian
I met an athlete near the Olympic Park
I asked him "Are you a Pole Vaulter"?
He said "No, I'm German...
and how do you know my name?"
- Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents. - I bought my wife a stripper pole for our anniversary and installed it in our bedroom. Whenever I ask her if she likes it, she just dances around the subject.
- What's the difference between Reddit and the north pole? The north pole doesn't have as many snowflakes.
- Why did a mathematician named his dog Cauchy? Let me test math awareness of this sub. This was told by a professor in a class.
Answer: because it left residue at every pole! - John saw a man walking down the street carrying a very long pole. He went over to him and asked him "are you a pole vaulter?" The man replied "no, I am German, but how did you know my name?
- I once took a holiday to the North Pole It was great while I was there but after that my holiday just went south.
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Pole One Liners
Which pole one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pole? I can suggest the ones about pond and poly.
- Frog DNA... A frog got his DNA test back.
He's part Scottish, part Irish and a tad Pole. - What do you call a polish fisherman? A fishing pole.
- I took a pole and found out that 100% of people were angry when the tent fell down.
- 42% of strippers are working their way through college According to the latest pole
- what is the disease that killed princes diana? Car pole tunnel syndrome
- Punctuation is very important... There's a Maypole dancer.
Theresa May, pole dancer. - I'm a European frog; mostly French, a bit German, and... ...a tad Pole.
- How are they killing Covid in the North Pole? Santa-tizing
- What do you call a small pole that can swim? A tadpole
- What famous actor pole-vaults over trees? John TreeVolta
- I stole a walking pole from a blind man earlier... He wasn't looking
- Who was Alexander Graham Bellski? The first telephone Pole
- I got a fishing pole for my wife I thought it was a pretty good trade.
- My neighbour says his frog is of Ukrainian origin. I however believe it was a tad pole
- I walked into a pole the other day He said excuse me
North Pole Jokes
Here is a list of funny north pole jokes and even better north pole puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why doesn't Santa have any millennial elves? Because there are already enough snowflakes at the North Pole.
- Did you hear about the dyslexic guy that sold his soul to Satan? He is now forced to make presents in the North Pole for all eternity.
- How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the reindeer drowned.
- What do you call a workplace accident at the North Pole? Shelf on the elf.
- On my first trip to the North Pole I realised... ... it's all going south from here.
- What do you call a chicken at the north pole? Lost.
- Almost everyone at the North Pole becomes extremely anxious whenever Santa feels depressed That's when he's most likely to elf harm.
- Why is the North Pole always so wet? Because of rain, dear.
- Dad, name 5 animals living in the North Pole Three seals and two penguins.
- What do you call a polar bear on the South pole and another Polar Bear On The North pole? Polar Opposites.
Pole Vaulter Jokes
Here is a list of funny pole vaulter jokes and even better pole vaulter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is a pole vaulter's favourite drink? Spring water.
- A pole vaulter walks into a bar She's disqualified (and really tall).
- It's okay to hurt a pole-vaulter's feelings They seem to get over it easily.
- I was walking through the Olympic Park when I saw a man with a really long stick, I asked him "Are you a pole vaulter?" He said "Yes, but how do you know my name is Walter?"
- Reporter approaches an athlete at the olympics and asks " are you a pole vaulter?" Athlete (in German accent) "no I'm not polish, but how did you know my name was Walter?"
- What do you call a French pole vaulter? A Leap Frog
- A Japanese Pole Vaulter Walks into a bar wearing his silver medal. A young woman walks up and says "how close were you to the gold"?
..."about 4 inches" - Did you know that there are female pole vaulters in the Olympics? They lower the bar.
- Hey, are you a Pole Vaulter? no, I'm German, and how do you know my name?
South Pole Jokes
Here is a list of funny south pole jokes and even better south pole puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got it all figured out. I will be a male stripper in Antarctica My stage name? South Pole.
- What do you call that weird sensation when you are suddenly teleported from North Pole to South Pole or vice versa? Bi-polar disorder.
- Ok, don't panic… If we hold the North Pole and South Pole down simultaneously for three seconds, it'll automatically restore to factory settings.
- What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost clause.
- The World Map has been revised; The North and South poles are where you'd expect, but... ...all the other Poles are in Britain.
- Travel advisory: Polar bears visiting the South Pole have been reporting extreme manic depression. It's not easy being bipolar.
- TIL there are two Slavic nations located on the opposite sides of the globe. They are North and South Poles.
- Why don't we need a compass at the North Pole? Because every direction is south.
- Why do polar bears only live at the north pole? Because if they also lived at the south pole, they would be bipolar bears.
- Santa's got a South Pole. That is all.
Fishing Pole Jokes
Here is a list of funny fishing pole jokes and even better fishing pole puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I went fishing but my hook fell off, then my line broke, then my pole snapped. In frustration I threw my broken pole into the water where it hit a fish and killed it.
It was a fluke. - Happy Friday! If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
- Why did the blonde schoolgirl never try to go fishing? She learned there's only two poles on earth.
- I told a fishing pole joke on this sub the other day It went over alright, but the reel joke was in the comments
- (JOKE) "A PIRATE RETIRED"vanndukeandsammy sammy:now that captain hook has retired, to make money, to fishermen at sea he rent himself out as a human fishing pole....(werms extra fee).
- When rich people go fishing, who hands them their fishing poles? The Rod Stewart
- Who's better at fishing; bears, or polish people? They're pretty even. Polish people hear they're supposed to use a pole, so much like a bear, they jump in the water and wave their hands all around.
- The doctor broke his fishing pole. And then he cast it
- Why did the blonde tie magnets to her fishing pole? She was fishing for Steelhead Trout
- What does a Frog use to fish with? A TAD POLE.
Totem Pole Jokes
Here is a list of funny totem pole jokes and even better totem pole puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you call a spiritually significant Polish guy? Totem Pole.
- Why to Native Americans wear Jockstraps? TOTEM POLE!!
Humorous Pole Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about pole you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pole pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Tommy gets asked to stay after class...
so little boy tommy isnt very good at math so his teacher kindly asks him to stay after class so she can help him.He agrees and listens to the teacher as she gives an example.She starts off by saying that if there are 10 birds on a telephone pole and you shoot one off, how many are left? he quickly answers "none". she says "no tommy, there would be 9". he then looks at her and says "thats impossible, obviously if you shoot one off, they would all fly away". she tells him that she likes the way he thinks. he follows up by saying "can i ask you a question miss, if there are 3 ladies holding a lollipop, 1 s**... it, 1 l**... it, and 1 biting it...which one is married? the teacher quickly replies with "the one s**... it". he looks at her and says "no, the one with the ring on her finger, **but** i like the way you think
Why was the man upset after going to boxing match in Warsaw?
Because his seat was behind a Pole.
So a policeman is in pursuit of a drunk driver...
...and this drunk is barreling at high speeds, nearly destroying everything in it's path. Finally the car hits a telephone pole and the car stops. The policeman jumps out of his car, runs up to the trashed car and pulls out the driver screaming, "YOU'RE DRUNK!"
The driver responds "Thank God. I thought my brakes and steering went out!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
2 Poles are watching a Football game...
There is an attack by one team and the first Polish dude says:
-I bet you 20 bucks he will not score
-You are on - Replies the second one.
The attack goes through and the person scores. So the the first
pole reaches for his wallet, but the second one stops him saying:
-I cheated a little, this is a rerun I knew he'd score, keep your money.
-I also watched the game before, though I am still surprised the goalie let the same goal happen twice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Another f**... joke that includes a doctor
A man goes to the doctor to tell him about his recent extreme flatulence. He is constantly f**... as he tells the doctor about his problem.
At one point, the Doctor excuses himself, leaves the room and comes back with a six foot long pole with a hook on the end.
The man says "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT???"
The Doctor answers, "Open a window!"
What was the crow doing up on the telephone pole?
He was making a long-distance caw.
Best read out loud
I was walking past my local athletics track when I saw a man carrying a very long, thin bag. I asked him "are you a pole vaulter?"
He said "Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"
Bill Gates Goes Fishing
Bill Gates goes fishing. Suddenly his fishing pole starts to jiggle, he quickly pulls it and see a gold fish hanging on it's edge.
"WAIT! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!" the fish screams.
Bill answers: "oh wow, a talking fish! That's amazing! There you go little guy, I was going to release you anyway" and sets him free.
The fish turns around and say: "Thank you, now how about a wish?"
Bill answers: "Oh alright... what do you want?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
firing squad
Three prisoners, an American, a German, and a p**..., are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!" They all look and the American runs away. Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!" They all hit the dust and the German escapes. Next up is the p**.... He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
A man is taking a walk in a park.
He sees another man sitting on a bench holding a long pole. He walks up to the man and asks, "Excuse me, are you a polevaulter?" The man replies, "No, I'm a Swede, but how did you know my name was Walter?"
Daddy, what's it like being drunk?
A little girl goes up to her dad and asks "Daddy, what does it feel like being drunk?" "Well," the father replies "You see those 2 telephone poles over there in the distance?" he says, pointing in the direction of the poles. "A drunk person would see 4 telephone poles there." The little girl, confused, replies "But daddy, there is only one telephone pole over there"
Why is it so hard to watch a sporting event at Warsaw Stadium?
Because no matter what seat you're in, you're sitting behind a Pole.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a t**... in the North Pole?
An ISISicle!
Who's got the tightest bod in the North Pole?
Abdominal Snowman
Two electricians are up on a pole
A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny:
— Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?
The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then states to the other:
— Told you it was the ground.
Crossing the Border
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
A Polish man calls 911
And says, "Help! My wife is trying to kill me!"
The operator asks, "How can you be sure?"
The Pole says, "I was looking through her medicine cabinet, and I found Polish Remover!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My nickname in the North Pole is 'comma'
I had s**... with Santa's wife and separated the clauses
What did the poles do during world war two?
They held the telephone wires off the ground.
A Mexican man was visiting America.
He wanted to go to a genuine American baseball game so that when he went home, he could tell his family all about it, but when he got there the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of the flag pole to get a good look.
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands, and all the players, stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics?
To see how high Mexicans can pole vault
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Brothels in Thailand have a red and white striped pole outside like a barbars shop!
I didn't know!
Imagine my shock when I went in and asked for a 'number 2 all over'
Three kids walk into a Pole
He was very fat.
Jose and the Game.
Jose snuck across the border to America from Mexico and wanted to go a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience:
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
Why did the python programmer run into the pole?
He couldn't C it.
Don't worry, i'll cout<<"myself";
A man named Jose has just moved from Mexico to the US
and he wants to do something very American so he decides to go to a baseball game.
Unfortunately, the game is completely sold out. However, the cashier says there is one seat available if Jose is willing to sit atop the flag pole. He agrees.
Finding the pole, Jose climbs to the top and takes a seat.
The game is about to begin when a voice comes over the loudspeaker and says "Please rise for the National Anthem". Everyone in the stadium stands up, turns to Jose, puts their hands over their hearts, and sings
"O-OH SAY CAN YOU SEEEEE..."
Jose yells back "YES THANK YOU"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't throw your toothpicks in the urinals...
The c**... have learned to pole vault.
Can you work a pole?
So the other night my friends and I are having a few drinks and our one female friend is an ex-stripper, so we got into the topic of dancing and she looked at me and said yeah, can you work a pole xschlots? And for some reason the first comment that comes out is I mean yeah my family's mostly German. Working poles was our thing I have never heard a more deafening silence followed by laughter
Santas reindeer get lost on a flight one night and don't return to the pole. After being missing for weeks, they are found, the only survivor being Donner. When asked how he survived, he replied:
"They don't call me Donner for nothin'"
Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
To keep her off the north pole
Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up
However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.
They're great at separating independent Clauses.
A lot of people think that firefighters are overpaid, but recently a pole was taken...
...and they all fell through a hole in the floor.
-Milton Jones
One for the Mathematicians
Some engineers are trying to measure the height of a flagpole.
They only have a measuring tape, and they have not been able to slide the tape up the pole.
A mathematician asks what they are doing, and they explain.
The solution is easy, she says. She pulls the pole out of the ground, lays it down, and measures it.
After she leaves, one of the engineers says,
That is so typical! We tell a mathematician we need the height – and she gives us the length!
A curious son notices a change in the U.S flag's position and decides to ask his mom
Son: Mom, why is the flag at the top of the pole today?
Mom: Because there hasn't been a mass shooting all week Billy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yellow cars have the highest c**... rate
According to a recent pole
What do you call a stripper with a spear?
A pole lancer
Three men were sentenced to death.
The day of their execution arrives, the first man was hanged but fortunately the rope loosens and he fells into the water below the platform. The same happens with the second man. It was now the turn of the third man, but before reaching to the pole he requests the person in charge, "You better tighten that rope of yours because I don't know how to swim."
Someone broke into Alex Rodriguez's house and beat his wife with a pole.
Actually it was A Rod
We all remember Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone...
But no one ever remembers Alexander Graham Kowalczyk, the first telephone pole.
My wife is planning a day of debauchery for a friend, otherwise known as a bachlorette party
. A pole dancing class is going to be part of the festivities and the warning on the website is "Classes are not suitable for pregnant women who have never poled before." My response to this being read aloud during the planning "Wait, then how did they get pregnant?"
When I went to Poland I saw the greatest dancing group in the country
When my wife asked what I did there I told her I saw the worlds best pole dancers!
Why was the female scarecrow unhappy with her husband?
She was not satisfied with the results of his straw pole.
How did the dad figure out the most popular country in the world?
He took a flag pole.
What do you call a bear that has been to Antarctica and the North Pole?
A bipolar bear
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is home and sees a gorilla hanging on his backyard tree.
So he naturally picks up the yellow pages and calls the Gorilla Removal services. The professional arrives in less than ten minutes, and gets off his van with a pole, a ladder, a dog, a shotgun and handcuffs. He says "I see it's a male gorilla, so I'm taking the ladder up the tree and poke him with this pole. He's gonna fall, and my dog is trained to bite the crouch, so when the gorilla protects his groins, I handcuff him and bring him back to the wild. Hold this gun, please". The man asks "what do I do with it?", and the guy "If I fall from the tree, shoot the dog".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The wizard materialized on the hill above the outdoor festival and proclaimed, All shall be vanquished.... except those in temporary shelters supported by a pole, and fully aquatic animals with s**...-shaped teeth!
The area was safe for all in tents and porpoises.
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are flags the most e**... of cloths?
Because when the wind blows, they do pole dances.
A son was walking along side his father
While walking, the kid was looking at his phone and didn't notice a pole in front of him, which resulted with him colliding with the pole.
The father said, That was some a pole ing behavior and began to laugh at his own joke
The son, being slightly irritated, snapped back at the father saying, was that pun really necessary?
The father than replied with, well, you walked right into that one
Outside the pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching into a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?
Assistant replies: Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help.
Pharmacist says: He seems to be fine now.
Assistant replies: Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough!
Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...
...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.
\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?
\- This one, young man?
\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!
\- No problem, dear!
After the lady passed him the wire, and left, the electrician tells his mate:
\- See, Fred? I told you this was the neutral wire, but no, you had to insist that it was the phase line!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Sally comes home from school munching on a big bag of candy...
Her mother says, "Where'd you get the money for that!?"
Sally laughs and says, "Little Johnny bet me five dollars I couldn't climb up the flag pole! I did it, and I won!"
Her mother shakes her head. "You d**...! He was just trying to get a peek at your p**...!"
"Oh no!" Little Sally says, embarrassed.
But the next day, she comes home with two bags of candy.
Her mother says, "Did Little Johnny pay you to climb the flag pole again!??"
"Yes!" says Little Sally. "But I sure fooled him! I didn't even wear any p**...!"
