The Best 59 Polar Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Polar jokes. There are some polar soluble jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these polar polar bear puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Polar Jokes and Puns

Guy can tell how any animal was killed

Guy walks into a bar and says: While I am blindfolded, I can feel the pelt of any animal and tell you how it was killed.

People start betting, the guy is blindfolded and given the first pelt (this bar has them for some reason).

the man holds the pelt and fingers the bullet hole, then says: this is a polar bear and it was killed .30-06! He is correct!

the next pelt is handed to him. He feels it and finds the bullet hole. then he says: This is a muskrat and it was killed by a .22! He is correct! Everyone cheers, beers are bought and a good time is had by all.

the next morning, the man wakes up in his own bed next to his wife but he now has a black eye and a headache. He wakes his wife and asks what happened with his new shiner. she says that she gave it to him. he asks why. well, she says, last night you came home drunk, and stuck your hand down my pants. then you yelled in my ear: **SKUNK, KILLED BY AX.**

How do you capture a polar bear?

1. Dig a hole in the ice.

2. Place a bunch of peas around the hole

3. When the bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

How do you bid farewell to a sexually open Arctic animal with a mental disorder.

"Bye bye bi bipolar polar bear!"

Polar joke, How do you bid farewell to a sexually open Arctic animal with a mental disorder.

Train Tracks

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were walking through a forest when they come upon a set of tracks.
"They must be a set of polar bear tracks," says the blonde.
"No, no, they are a set of deer tracks," says the brunette.
The red head then exclaimed, "Are you kidding me? Polar bear! This is a forest not the North Pole! A deer is understandable, but these are train tracks!"
They were still arguing when they were mauled by a polar bear.

A Polar Bear walks into a bar...

... he says to the server, "Hello, I'd like some fish and chips.."

The server says, "We don't serve polar bear here."

The Polar Bear says, "Oh Thank God."


There are three bears

a black, a brown, and a white one. Which bear dissolves in water?

The white bear, because it's polar

A man enters a pet shop...

...and wants to buy a polar bear. The shop assistant takes the man to the bear's cage and says: "The polar bear is absolutely tamed, but whatever you do, don't touch his nose."
The man goes home with his new pet and everything is OK. Until the man can't no longer withstand: "I have to try what happens, when I touch his nose!" So he touches the nose and the polar bear leaps towards him and chases the man throughout the house.
Finally the man runs out of breath and the polar bear catches him. With his paw the bear taps the man's shoulder and says: "You are it!"

Polar joke, A man enters a pet shop...

Cheese Jokes

Q:What type of cheese do you use if you need to hide a horse?
A: Mascarpone

Q:What type of cheese do you use to make a Polar Bear come to you?
A:Camembert

Q: What type of cheese is made backwards?
A: Edam

Q:What type of cheese doesnt belong to you?
A: Nacho Cheese

What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?

Anything you want. He can't hear you!

What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.

A polar bear walks into a bar and says "I'd like a Gin ............................. and tonic please". The barman asks "What's with the big pause?"

To which the bear replies "I don't know, I've always had them".

You can explore polar eskimo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean polar inuit dad jokes. There are also polar puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do cows drink joke

Say each of the questions aloud and then answer the final question.

What color are polar bears?
What color is cotton?
What color are clouds normally on a sunny day?
What color are marshmallows?

So what do cows drink?

What's the stupidest animal in the jungle?

The Polar bear.

A polar bear falls into the water

"Help! I'm dissolving!"

A black bear shows up and says, "But bears are insoluble"

"That's easy for you to say. You're not polar!"

Where does a polar bear keep his money?

In a snow bank.

Why did the polar bear join the terrorist group.

Because that is where the ISIS.

Polar joke, Why did the polar bear join the terrorist group.

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

A polar bear walks into a bar

A polar bear walks into a bar and finds a stool. The bartender asks him what he'd like, to which he replies, "I'll have a............. a beer please."

The bartender, slightly confused by the hesitation asks, "why the large pause?"

The polar bear responds, "I was **born** with them!!!"

Where do polar bears go to deposit money?

A snowbank


What's the difference between a Trump voter and a polar bear?

One is a fat, white, mindless killing machine with no conscience or future, and the other is a bear.

A polar bear walks into a bar

Bartender: What'll you have?
Polar bear: I'll have a gin and...................tonic.
Bartender: OK but why the big pause?
Polar bear looks down and says: I don't know...i was born with them.

A polar bear walks into a restaurant..

The polar bear tells the waitress,
"I'll have a Diet Coke, a double cheeseburger and a-"
...

...

... "side of fries."

"What's with the long pause!?" The waitress asked.

The polar bear replied,
"I was born with them."

A polar bear and a black bear are taking a stroll in the arctic...

When suddenly, the polar bear falls in some water he starts to panic and says, "Help, I'm dissolving!" the black bear replies with, "No you aren't bears are insoluble!" the polar bear says, "That's easy for you to say, you're non-polar!".

Some people think the Arctic and the Antarctic are the same...

...but in reality, they are polar opposites.

A polar bear walks into a bar.

The bartender asks what he'll have.

The bear says "I guess I'll have a................beer."

The bartender asks "Why the big pause?"

The polar shrugs. "I don't know, I was born with 'em."

Why did the penguin break up with the walrus?

Because they were polar opposites.

How to catch a polar bear

First, you dig a hole in the ice,
then you sprinkle peas around the hole

When a polar bear bends down to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole!

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

How do you catch a polar bear?

Go to the arctic, take a can of peas.
When you get there, cut a hole in the ice and place peas all around the edge of it.
When the polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

Polar bears aren't the best animals in the world.

But they're all white.

A polar bear walks into a bar

A polar bear walks into a bar. Bartender says "what can I get you?" Bear replies " I'd like a gin......... And tonic" Batender asks "Why the big pause?" The polar bear looks at his hands, turning them back and forth "I don't know, my dad had 'em too."

When I first met my wife she told me she was bi.

I didn't realize until much later she meant polar.

If a woman tells you that she's Bi...

...assume it's Polar. Huge time saver.

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was polar.

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, and surround it with peas. When he goes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.

All women are bi

The question is whether its sexual or polar.

I found out today my brother's bi-polar.

Apparently he likes male and female polar bears.

How to catch a polar bear

This is the first joke I ever told my grandpa(I was so little I don't even remember it) but he told everyone he could about it up to the day he passed.

Do you know how to catch a polar bear grandpa?

No I don't short-stuff, how do you catch one?

You cut a hole in the ice and line it with peas, and when the polar bear goes to take a pea.
you kick him in the ice-hole.

He passed away 15 years ago this month and I still smile whenever I remember this joke.

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub.

One of the bears says:

"Can you pass the soap?"

The other bear says:

"No soap, radio."

Polaroid of the suspect

Reporter: 'Here I am, live at the scene of the crime, in fact I've just learnt the police have a polaroid of the suspect. More on this story as it develops.'

(Dad Joke) You know the best way to catch a polar bear, right?

First, you could have giant hole in the ice at least 20 foot around. Then you take several bags of frozen peas and open them up and spread them all around the whole nice and even.

Then, when the bear comes up to take a pee you kick him in the ice hole.

I just took a Polaroid of a breaking news event!

More on this story as it develops

What is a polar bears favourite thing to eat?

Burrrr - Gurrrrs.

All women are bi.

It's your job to figure out if it's -sexual or -polar.

Every girl is bi

You just gotta figure out if it's polar or sexual.

A polar bear walks into a bar

"I'll have a whiskey....and coke", said the bear.

"Certainly, but why the big pause?"

"Because I was born with them", replied the bear.

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a polar bear?

A loss of project funding and a stern telling off from the university ethics committee

If you encounter a polar bear in the wild, lie down and pretend that you're dead.

It's good practice for when you'll be really dead, five minutes later.

Do you know how to catch a polar bear?

You cut a hole in the ice and line the hole with peas. Then, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.

What is a polar bear's favorite food? (Multi-questioned)

ICE-cream!

-What is a black bear's favorite food?

Blackberries!

-What is a grizzly bear's favorite food?

Campers.

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says...

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says

What'll it be today?

The bear says give me a gin and.........................tonic

The bartender says sure thing but why the big pause?

The bear looks down and says I dunno? I was just born with them.

It's my cake day!

Know how to catch a polar bear?

Cut a big hole in the ice, and surround it with peas.

When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a polar bear ?

You get killed and eaten

Why does Santa need to have all of his maps custom made?

He uses polar coordinates!

How to catch a polar bear

First, go to the Arctic and dig a large hole in the ice.

Next, open a can of peas and place the peas around the edge of the hole.

When the bear steps up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.


Sorry. I'll see myself out

It's my cake day so a joke for everyone

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says

What'll it be today?

The bear says give me a gin and.........................tonic

The bartender says sure thing but why the big pause?

The bear looks down and says I dunno? I was just born with them.

The Polar Express isn't actually real.

It's a work of imagination - a train of thought.

A teacher asks a student to "name two animals peculiar to Australia"

He responds with "The polar bear and penguin are peculiar to Australia, but the kangaroo and dingo live there."

Polar Bear Orders Beer

A polar bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'll have. The bear says guess I'll have a ............... ................ ............... beer. The bartender asks Why the big pause? The polar bear replies. I don't know, I was born with them.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the polar insoluble jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working polar cartesian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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