Pokes Jokes

46 pokes jokes and hilarious pokes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pokes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

jokes about pokes

Best Short Pokes Jokes

Short pokes puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pokes humour may include short poked jokes also.

  1. What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key!
    This is one of the oldest jokes ever recorded. It was found in a 10th century book of Anglo Saxon poetry.
  2. Facebook is like jail You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know
  3. Why is Facebook like a prison? Because you write on walls and people you don't know poke you.
  4. Oldest known British Joke from 10th century AD. What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?
    A key
  5. Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and say "You're next! You're next!" They stopped when I started doing the same at funerals.
  6. I always hated weddings... I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next.". They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.
  7. What do you call a fear of over-engineered buildings? A complex complex complex
    Credit to some guy named Slow Poke on YouTube
  8. Steve Irwin: "Crikey! It's a deadly stingray! Let's poke it worry a stick!" Deadly Stingray: "Crikey! It's a Steve Irwin! Let's poke it with a stick!"
  9. I went to the doctors with a lettuce just poking out of my bottom... The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg
  10. REAL math joke At a party vectors V and W see vector V+W poking in his head and asking: "Can I join?". "Yeah.", V and W reply; "It's a closed party..."
Pokes joke, REAL math joke

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about pokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of pokes puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share Jokes With Friends

Pokes One Liners

Which pokes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pokes? I can suggest the ones about poking and poking fun.

  1. My girlfriend poked me in the eyes... So unfortunately I stopped seeing her for a while.
  2. My ex updated her status on Facebook to standing on the edge of a cliff. So I poked her
  3. My girlfriend poked me in the eye the other day... I stopped seeing her for a while.
  4. What do you call a turtle with a hard on? -A slow poke.
  5. What do you call a porcupine riding a turtle? A slow poke.
  6. My deaf girlfriend started talkin in her sleep last night Nearly poked my eye out
  7. How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus? Poke 'em on.
  8. I just poked myself in the eyes... I can't see myself doing that again anytime soon.
  9. How Do You Wake Up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.
  10. What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine? A slow poke
  11. What's the best way to poke holes in an argument? Make good points.
  12. What do you call a mix between a turtle and a porcupine? A slow poke
  13. I'm gonna open a Jamaican poke fusion resturant Called Poke Mon
  14. If you poke a Virginia Tech fan... Are you doing the Hokie Pokey?
  15. How do you wake lady gaga up from a nap? You poke her face

Pokes joke, How do you wake <a href="/lady-gaga-jokes.html" title="Lady Gaga jokes">lady gaga</a> up from a nap?

Amusing & Witty Pokes Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about pokes you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean stick and poke jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make pokes prank.

Body Pain

A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.

A family of moles

A family of moles awakens from hibernation. The father mole pokes his head out of the hole and says "I smell tulips it must be spring". The mother mole pokes her head out of the hole and says " I smell cherry blossoms it must be spring". The baby mole is trying to squeeze between his parents but gets stuck and says "all I smell is molasses"

A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, "19! 19! 19! 19!"

Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence. Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting "20! 20! 20!"

A Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet.

He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold beer right now!" He gets his beer and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful women reside." Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again." p**...! He's back in his government office.

During an exam, a student pokes the guy next to him and whispers, "pssst... is C the chemical symbol for chlorine?"

He whispers back, "Na, Cl you idiot!".
"OK thanks..." replies the student, "but why so salty?"

A man is walking past the mental hospital

through the board fence he hears the nuts inside chanting, thirteen...thirteen...thirteen. Curious, peeks through a knot hole and someone pokes him in the eye! As he jumps back in pain he hears the nuts start chanting, fourteen...fourteen...fourteen.

There was a family of moles underground.

They were just relaxing down there when the father mole pokes his head out the hole and says wow, I smell sugar . The mother mole is interested so she pokes her head out the hole and exclaims wow I smell glucose! Then the mother mole calls her son over and he says holy cow I smell fructose! The sister mole wants to catch a whiff of the smell and climbs to the hole. Sadly the hole is clogged by her family and she said all I smell is molasses

Three moles smell something.

Papa mole first pokes his head out of the hole and sniffs. He then says "I smell some good pancakes and syrup." Next mama mole pokes her head out of the hole and says "all I smell is fruits and honey." Then baby mole tries to poke his head out of the hole and says " I can't smell anything except molasses."

42! 42! 42!

A man Is walking past a mental health building, he can hear the patients in a yard shouting " ", not being able to see over the high walls, he finds a hole in the wall, as he looks through, a Finger pokes his eye. "43! 43! 43!" The yard shouts!

Inmates Running the Asylum

A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

Israelis and Palestinians are fighting a battle.

From the israeli side, a machine gun fires, bang bang bang bang bang bang bang.
From the Palestinian side, a rifle goes bang bang
This goes on for a bit until suddenly, the Palestinian side goes quiet.
A head pokes out of the Israeli foxhole. Hey Muhammad! You run out of ammo?
Well come on over, i'll sell you some!

A man is walking besides the insane asylum

When he hears a commotion coming over the fence. The people inside the asylum are chanting
He notices a small hole on the wall and curiously peeks inside to see what's going on.
Someone pokes him in the eye with a stick. And then he hears chanting

An old man is running through the halls of an old-folks home wearing a cape

and yelling "Super s**...! Super s**...!"
An old lady pokes her head out of her room and says,
"I'll have the soup."

A blonde walks into a doctor's office

Blonde: doc! I think I got a skin disease!
She proceeds to poke everywhere and every time she pokes herself she yelps
Doctor: ma'am are you a natural blonde?
Blonde: yes why?
Doctor: your finger's broken.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are being chased by a farmer...

and they hide in his barn inside three sacks.
The farmer pokes the sack with the brunette with his pitchfork, and she says "meow"
He moves on to the next sack with the redhead, and she says "woof".
He moves on to the last sack with the blonde, and she says "potatoes".

A boy pokes a girl with a pin at church

The church priest asks the girl a question "who is our lord and savior?" *the boy stabs her with the pin* she yells "JESUS CHRIST" the priest says "good good, who created us" *the boy stabs her again* she yells "GOD ALMIGHTY" the priest says "good good, now, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 42nd child?" *he stabs her again* the girl screams "IF YOU PUT THAT THING IN MY ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR t**...!" The priest faints..

A family of moles wake up from hibernation.

They start digging up to the surface to get some air and stretch their legs. When they arrive, there's a layer of concrete that wasn't there before. They dig around the concrete and Papa mole pokes his head out and smells fresh pancakes.
Oh, they must have built a pancake house up there! It smells great!
Mama mole, right behind Papa, sniffs and says, Oh wow, the syrups smell delicious!
Baby mole, in the hole behind both Papa and Mama says Yuck! All I can smell are molasses from back here!

A blonde walks into a doctor's office, the doctor asks what's wrong and the blonde says "My entire body hurts!"

"Oh?" Said the doctor, "like a whole body ache?"
"No!" said the blonde "like everywhere is searing pain! Here I'll show you!"
The blonde pokes her shoulder "That really hurt!"
She pokes her stomach "That really hurt too!"
She bends down and pokes her knees "Both of those hurt super bad! Can you help me doctor!?"
The doctor looks at her, sighs, and says "Yes I can help you, in fact I solved your problem"
"What is it!?"
"Your finger's broken"

An eagle is flying over the Grand Canyon when it spies a frog by a stream.

The eagle swoops down and swallows the frog whole, flying off with a full stomach. Somehow the frog makes it through the eagle's digestive tract and pokes his head out of the eagle's a**....
The frog takes a look around and yells back at the eagle: "Hey eagle. About how high up are we?
The eagle yells back, "Oh about 10,000 feet."
The frog replies, "Really? You wouldn't s**... me now, would you?"

So three women escape from a prison, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

They hide under a tarp on a work truck. The security guard is checking the tarp at the gate. He pokes his rifle at the brunette and she goes "meow, meow". He pokes his rifle at the red head and she goes "woof, woof". He pokes his rifle at the blonde and she goes "potato, potato".

Babys In Mothers Woom

Three babies are in their mother's w**.... One of them says, "I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here." The next one says, "I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here." The last baby says, "I'm going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I'm going to chop that thing in half!

A blonde goes to the doctor

The blond says: "Doctor, doctor, look! Anywhere I touch myself it hurts!
-she continues to touch random places on her body she even pokes the doctor's nose and still she lets out a groan-
-The Doctor looks at her and thinks to himself and thinks, and then blurs out-
"Your finger is broken"

Fred and John...

Fred and John are in bible school the teacher asks, "who created the world" John raises his hand and is called on, Fred pokes him with a pencil right as he is answering. John says "My God" and the teacher replies "correct", he then asks "what did Eve say after she had her 3rd baby?", John raises his hand again and is called on. As he is answering he is poked again with the the pencil, he says "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"

The man that pulled a rabbits teeth out

A rabbit poked a man and asked
Give me carrots, I want carrots
The man ignored the rabbit
The rabbit poked the man again
Give me carrots, I want carrots
The man is annoyed at this point, but continues to ignore the rabbit
Again rabbit pokes the man
Give me carrots I said
The man grabs the rabbit and pulls out the rabbits teeth
Rabbit pokes the man again and says
Give me carrot juice

A kid pokes his dad with a ruler several times.

Angrily, the dad asks him what he is doing.
The boy says, "measuring your patience."

Was at the vet last week....

Was at the vet last week and struck up a conversation with an older gent sitting next to me. A few mins into our conversation a green snake pokes its head out of his pocket and says "Woof!"
I looked with shock and asked his "What was that?"
He says 'oh, it's my pet snake'
'Whats he here for?' I asked
He answered in a whisper "He has E-reptile dysfunction!"

A man is walking down the street...

When from behind a fence he hears voices chanting "Twelve, twelve twelve...twelve, twelve, twelve..." He's curious about what's going on, so he looks along the fence until he sees a little hole in it. He leans over and looks through the hole and BINK! Someone pokes him in the eye with their finger. "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen..."


A guy goes for a walk and when he passes by the mental hospital, he hears a patient inside yelling "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
The guy moves along and later when he's returning home and walks by the same hospital, he hears the same voice again yelling "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
And then he sees a small hole in the wall. The curiosity was too strong and when he takes a peek the patient pokes him in the eye with a stick and starts yelling "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

So there's a brunette a redhead and a blonde who are trying to escape from a prison. The guards are onto to them, so they all hide in sacks....

The guards see the sacks moving and sends over a soldier to poke each one of them with his gun.The guard pokes the first one and the brunette says "woof" and the guard goes "Oh it's just a dog" he pokes the second one and the redhead goes "meow" and the guard says "it's just a cat". He then pokes the third and the blonde goes "potatoes".

How does the stork bring babies?

It pokes holes in condoms.

The genius and the pool player

A genius walks into a bar and says, "I have 200 IQ!"
The pool player replies, "I have an eye cue too!" and pokes the genius in the eye.

Pokes joke, The genius and the pool player

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these pokes jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.