Poker Game Jokes

Following is our collection of jenga humor and videogame one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Poker Game puns for adults, dirty uno jokes or clean players gags for kids.

There is an abundance of whist jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 43 funniest jokes on poker game. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any roulette witze you can hear about poker game.

The Best jokes about Poker Game

100 years ago, a poor Polish immigrant was begging for money in New York city

Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her.

Stranger: What is your name, sad lady

Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat

Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it.

My mate's gambling is getting out of hand.

He's just bet his newborn son in our game of poker.

I thought, "I might have to raise him."

Go tell Mrs. Smith . . .

Six retired Floridian men were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Mr. Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up.

At the end of the game, Mr. Jones looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?

They cut the cards. Mr. Miller picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."

Mr. Miller goes over to the Smiths' condo and knocks on the door.

Mrs. Smith answers through the door and asks what he wants?

Mr. Miller says: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is really afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Mr. Miller.

Go tell Meyer's wife . . .

Six retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up.

At the end of the game, Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?"

They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet.
Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."

Goldberg goes over to the Meyer's condo and knocks on the door.
The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants?

Goldberg declares, "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.

All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?

Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.


My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but then I realized she just wanted to do laundry.

So I folded.

Did u hear about the leper poker game?

everyone threw their hands in

How does Queen Elizabeth win a game of poker?

She goes to the bathroom.

Why don't cows play poker?

Because it's a high steaks game

When does a strip poker game start getting good?

When somebody's got a big pair showin'.

Jerry Seinfeld at a Poker game:

What's the deal?


My gambling addiction must be getting out of hand because I've just lost my wife in a game of poker...

She said "How could you do such a thing, losing your wife in a stupid card game!?"

I replied, "Sorry honey, it was very hard for me at the time."

She said, "What do you mean?"

I replied, "Well, it wasn't easy, folding when I had four aces."

I like to think of the act of pooping like a game of poker

You go all in with a royal flush.

A chicken, a goose and a pheasant were sitting in a tavern drinking…

The chicken said, "How about we go back to my place and play strip poker?"

The goose nodded its head, the pheasant said "I'm game."

I joined an underground poker game at the local gay bar...

and lost my ass to a pair of queens.

Two zombies were playing a game of poker

The first one threw his hand in the pile and the other laughed his head off.

Why do witches avoid poker games?

Because they hate seeing the stakes being raised

A toilet beat me at a game of Poker.

I had a straight; it had a flush.

I challenged an origami expert to a game of poker.

He folded.


Entering a friend's home for his weekly poker game, Slick is amazed to see a dog sitting at the table.

He's even more surprised when the dog wins the first hand with a full house, and takes the second with a royal flush.
"This is unreal," Slick says after the dog wins the next two hands. "He's got to be only dog in the world that can play like that."
"Aw, he's not so great," says the host. "There's a dog in Las Vegas who doesn't wag his tail every time he gets a good hand."

Why does Queen Elizabeth's toilet do so well in poker games?

Because it's got a royal flush.

A Guy Gets Home From Playing Poker....

...and says to his wife, "Pack your bags. I just lost you to Frank in a Poker game."

She indignantly exclaims, "How could you do such a thing?"

"It wasn't easy," he replied. "I had to fold a full house."

Which deck of cards does Professor Oak use for his poker games?

His poker decks.

A priest, a rabbi and a buddhist monk get arrested for illegal gaming

They get in front of the judge. He starts questioning the priest first.
β€žDid you play poker yesterday?
The priest mumbles a quick lord forgive me and answered β€žNo .
The judge turns to the rabbi and asks him:
β€žDid you play poker yesterday?
The rabbi crosses his fingers behind his back and answers a clear β€žNo .
Finally the judge turns to the buddhist monk and tells him:
β€žSo you are a buddhist monk, I know for a fact that you are absolutely not allowed to lie to me. Did you play poker yesterday?
The monk looks at the priest, then at the rabbi. He smiles at the judge and asks
β€žHow could I possibly play poker all by myself?

Why was the poker game at the zoo cancelled?

Some believed that there was a cheetah among them.

Poker game

I was playing poker with my friends Robin and Drake and some of their distant cousins.

There was this one chick who won almost every hand.

I can't be sure but I suspect fowl play.

1 and 2 were playing poker.

Suddenly, 2 discovers 1 is cheating. Angry, 2 shouts at 1: "Three can play that game!"

BILL CLINTON'S FAVORITE CARD GAME

Q: What is Bill Clinton's favorite card game?
A: Poker.

Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro?

They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.

The Bat family were playing a game of "old maid" with a poker deck...

Needless to say it was a never ending game. Everyone wanted the joker.

2 boxes

2 boxes finish a game of poker. One says to the other "hey man you fancy another game?", to which the other one replies "no.. i'm cardboard'

What's the best hand in a game of toilet poker?

A straight flush.

Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game?
A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.

The best hand of all

Had some buddies over to play poker the night before my colonoscopy.

It was quite a game, flush after flush after flush.

Eating spicy food is like...

Having your whole body sit down for a game of poker. Your stomach always wins while your sinuses and intestines get cleaned out.

What did one bird say to the other bird when he played five aces in a poker game?

Cheat, cheat, cheat.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Albert Einstein, John F Kennedy and God are on holiday

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Albert Einstein, John F Kennedy and God are on holiday
at the Kennedy compound on Cape Cod.

One a rainy afternoon Einstein suggests they play a game.

So they get out the card table and setup. God suggests Poker, Einstein 500 and Kennedy Blackjack.

After a ten minutes of arguments, Schwarzenegger says "Why don't we just play Yahtzee?"

At that God gets up and storms out.
Kennedy turns to Einstein and ask "What was that about?"
Einstein says "God does not play dice with Mr Universe"

Growing up I always heard life is like a game of poker....

And I'm one jack off

In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another.

But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order.
So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did…

After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife:
"You’ d better get ready β€˜cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!"
The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband…
The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready β€˜cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!"
The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation.
β€œYou kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah
β€œI am not kinky sir”, said the monkey β€œI’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”

Why did the king go to the toilet in the middle of the poker game?....

Because he had to do the royal flush.

My wife got angry when I mentioned "one of a kind" while describing her. All I said was

"You're as unique as having one of a kind during a game of poker"

Invited to a private poke game...

A man was invited to a private poker game. When he arrived he saw that the game had already begun. Sitting at the table were four guys and a dog. More than a little surprised, he said, That must be a pretty smart dog to play poker. He ain't so smart, one of the guys said, Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.

The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house;

then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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