Poke Jokes
125 poke jokes and hilarious poke puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about poke that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Love your puns? Get ready to giggle with this collection of hilarious poke jokes! We've got comic banter on cow pokes, slow pokes, stick and pokes, poke bowls, jabs, peeks, and digs. Get your laugh on now!
Quick Jump To
- Short Poke Jokes
- Poke One Liners
- Stick And Poke Jokes
- Slow Poke Jokes
- Facebook Poke Jokes
- More Poke Jokes
Funniest Poke Short Jokes
Short poke jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The poke humour may include short pies jokes also.
- What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key!
This is one of the oldest jokes ever recorded. It was found in a 10th century book of Anglo Saxon poetry. - Facebook is like jail You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know
- Why is Facebook like a prison? Because you write on walls and people you don't know poke you.
- Oldest known British Joke from 10th century AD. What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?
A key - Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and say "You're next! You're next!" They stopped when I started doing the same at funerals.
- I always hated weddings... I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next.". They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.
- What do you call a fear of over-engineered buildings? A complex complex complex
Credit to some guy named Slow Poke on YouTube - Steve Irwin: "Crikey! It's a deadly stingray! Let's poke it worry a stick!" Deadly Stingray: "Crikey! It's a Steve Irwin! Let's poke it with a stick!"
- I went to the doctors with a lettuce just poking out of my bottom... The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg
- REAL math joke At a party vectors V and W see vector V+W poking in his head and asking: "Can I join?". "Yeah.", V and W reply; "It's a closed party..."
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Poke One Liners
Which poke one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with poke? I can suggest the ones about peek and pong.
- My girlfriend poked me in the eyes... So unfortunately I stopped seeing her for a while.
- My ex updated her status on Facebook to standing on the edge of a cliff. So I poked her
- My girlfriend poked me in the eye the other day... I stopped seeing her for a while.
- What do you call a turtle with a hard on? -A slow poke.
- What do you call a porcupine riding a turtle? A slow poke.
- My deaf girlfriend started talkin in her sleep last night Nearly poked my eye out
- How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus? Poke 'em on.
- I just poked myself in the eyes... I can't see myself doing that again anytime soon.
- How Do You Wake Up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.
- What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine? A slow poke
- What's the best way to poke holes in an argument? Make good points.
- What do you call a mix between a turtle and a porcupine? A slow poke
- I'm gonna open a Jamaican poke fusion resturant Called Poke Mon
- If you poke a Virginia Tech fan... Are you doing the Hokie Pokey?
- How do you wake lady gaga up from a nap? You poke her face
Stick And Poke Jokes
Here is a list of funny stick and poke jokes and even better stick and poke puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
- What's worse than a poke in the eye with a hot stick? Nothing. Trust me.
- Haha we can see inside your cage You like it when we poke you with that stick right?
Slow Poke Jokes
Here is a list of funny slow poke jokes and even better slow poke puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Courtesy of my five year old son... What do you get when a turtle and porcupine have a baby? A slow poke!
- What do you call two turtles doing it? A slow poke
- What do you call a pornstar that comes in last place in the 100 meter dash? Slow poke.
- What do you call a dim witted h**...? A slow poke.
- What do you call a turtle with an e**...? A slow poke!
- How do turtles have s**...? Slow poke
Facebook Poke Jokes
Here is a list of funny facebook poke jokes and even better facebook poke puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I saw a church's sign say "God is my Facebook." Does that mean two men can poke each other on God?
- Why don't anti-vaxers use Facebook? Because they're scared of being poked
- Today I learned "poking" on Facebook is flirting... So I guess I've been flirting with my mom for years.
Wups? - What is similarity between gambling and Facebook? Poke her.
- If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you.
On facebook! - When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
- Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
- I joined facebook to be part of the r**... support group but I kept getting bump and poked, so I just left.
Hilarious Fun Poke Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about poke you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pond jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make poke pranks.
In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types.
But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.
Anybody know some white people jokes?
I'm an avid racist and like to have plenty of denigrating jokes at the ready for any particular race. Sadly I know very few targeted at Caucasians, and the ones I do know make them look sorta good (rich, stable, part of ruling elite). Anybody know any jokes that poke fun at being white?
Fighter jock and the cargo pilot
A cargo plane is flying along, doing its cargo plane thing, when a fighter jet comes up alongside.
The fighter jock decides to poke some fun at the pilot who's forced to fly such an ungainly vessel.
"My plane's so much more advanced than yours. Watch this" says the jock, as he proceeds to do loop-de-loops, barrel rolls, corkscrews, and all manner of fast paced aerial acrobatics.
"Very impressive," responds the cargo pilot. "But that's nothing, watch this." For a half hour the large craft simply plods along straight as an arrow, not even so much as dipping the wings.
After a while, the cargo pilot comes back on the radio and says "So, what'd you think?"
Jock: "What d'you mean? You didn't do anything. You just flew straight for a while."
Cargo: "Oh no, that wasn't all. I got up, stretched my legs, got some coffee, went to the bathroom..."
I'm from the southern US, is it OK to poke fun at myself?
Why don't schools in the south teach Driver's Ed and s**... Ed on same day?
Too hard on the mule.
I hated weddings as a kid
When I was younger,I had to attend many a wedding with my parents. Every single time, my aunts and other older relatives used to poke me with a smirk and tell me "You're next.".
They only stopped after I started doing the same thing with them at funerals.
Why shouldn't you let a Pokemon take a shower with you?
He might Pikachu.
A man goes to the doctor and says...
"Doc, it hurts when I poke here, when I poke here, and when I poke here. And it hurts here, and here, and here too. What's wrong with me, Doc?"
The doctor goes over to the man, examines him for a second, then says, "Well, it appears that you have a broken finger."
3 bags.
A Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman are all being chased by soldiers, they all run into a Barn and hide in big burlap sacks. The soldier walk in and hunt for them, they poke the first bag and the Scotsman says "Meow!" so they pass it off as a bag of kittens. They poke the second pack and the Englishman says "Woof!" so they pass it off as a bag of puppies. They poke the third bag and the Irishman says "Potatoes!"
Poker is like s**...
If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand
Edit 1: when you cheat in poker you have a partner
Edit 2: this is getting more upvotes than I thought it would get but before someone calls me out on it. This was a Mae West quote about bridge and several Internet memes put poker instead of bridge because more people play poker than bridge and when you cheat in poker you have partners(the poker strategy is called collusion)
Poker is like dating a women
You never really win until you have a lot of money
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poke her face.
A joke from a 3 year old who thought it was hilarious, but probably didn't understand it.
Three moles smell something.
Papa mole first pokes his head out of the hole and sniffs. He then says "I smell some good pancakes and syrup." Next mama mole pokes her head out of the hole and says "all I smell is fruits and honey." Then baby mole tries to poke his head out of the hole and says " I can't smell anything except molasses."
Poker doesn't work well in Africa. There's just too many cheetahs.
Poker
No YouPorn I do not want to play poker, I'm at work.
I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next"
They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
Why is Pokemon quite realistic?
Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.
Old people always poke me at weddings and say "You're next"
So I started doing the same to them at funerals
A man walks by an insane asylum...
An man walks by an insane asylum and hears the inmates gleefully shouting "21! 21! 21" As he gets closer he sees a hole in the brick wall which he approaches so he can peek in and see what's going on. The inmates poke a stick through the hole, poking him in the eye, and yell "22! 22! 22!"
Why did God make p**... hair curly?
So we don't poke our eyes out.
Pokemon GO servers are like my life right now.
Up and down and disappointing anyone who knows what it is.
Pokemon GO is trying to fix its servers...
It's not very effective.
Thanks to Pokemon Go...
I'm finally going to lose weight.
A Pokemon go user walks into a bar
Because he was too busy looking at his phone to notice it
What does Pokemon Go and s**... have in common?
They're not for kids.
Pokemon GO is a blatant ripoff of another popular app...
called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area.
What do Pokemon Go and Tinder have in common?
Both give you a good chance of catching something
I'm trying to tell a Pokemon joke to my brother but he just doesn't get it.
He's a slowbro.
Why do Pokemons like to eat sunflower seeds?
Because they like to pick and chew
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country.One day, the papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmmm, I smell sausage!" The momma mole poked her head outside of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!" The baby mole tried to poke his head out of the hole but couldn't get passed the two bigger moles.Finally giving up, he said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."
When I was single my old Aunt used to come up to me at family weddings
And poke me in the ribs and say, "you're next." she stopped after I did the same to her at a f**....
Old People Always Poke Me
Old people at wedding always poke me and say
You Are the Next
.
.
So, I Started Doing The Same Thing To Them At Funerals
One of the dumbest things you can buy online is a dishwasher
Sometimes they forget to poke holes in the box and she's dead when she arrives
A poker player wins one million dollars first price in a tournament
Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?
Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.
Interviewer: and what about the rest?
Poker player: Well... I guess they'll have to wait..
What does Pokemon and a prison break have in common?
You gotta catch Jamal.
What do Jamaican Charizards eat in Hawaii?
Poke, mon.
An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman..
..are in the trenches surrounded by the enemy with no way of escaping The Englishman sees three sacks and says right boys follow my lead.
They each get in a sack and as the enemy approaches they poke the bag with their bayonetted.
"Meow meow" says the Englishman.
"Ah it's just some kittens, leave them be were not that cruel. "
They poke the Scotsman.
"Woof woof"
"Ah just puppies leave them be"
Then they poke the Irishman
"Potatoes!"
Wedding problems...
Every time I go to weddings the older folks poke me in the arm and whisper "that is gonna be you! That is gonna be you!"
So now when I go to funerals I poke them in the arm and say "that is gonna be you!"
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole it has often poked before?
**A key**.
--
*Not OC. Rumored to be first joke recorded in 10th century A.D.*
A Woman is Having a Baby
When the baby comes out he looks at the doctor and says "are you my dad?", he says no I'm the doctor. The baby then looks around to another man and asks "are you my dad?", the man says no I'm your uncle. The baby then looks around again and says to the person closest to his mother "are you my dad?" The man says "yes I am your dad". The baby then proceeds to poke the man on the head repeatedly and said "well how does that feel?!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops...
They duck into an abandoned warehouse, each find a an empty sack, and climb into it.
Cops follow and poke the bag with the brunette. The brunette goes woof! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of dogs, and walks on.
They poke the bag with the redhead. The redhead goes meow! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of cats, and walks on.
They poke the bag with the blonde and the blonde goes Potato. Potato.
Another blonde joke
Boyfriend is driving down the street with his (blonde) girlfriend in the passenger seat. The boyfriend becomes concerned the turn signals are not working, so he asks his girlfriend to poke her head out the passenger side window to see if the right turn signal is functioning. She replies, "it's working, it's not working, it's working.."
The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the b**... face of the Anglo-Saxons
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?
Answer: A key.
Why are p**... hairs curly?
Because, if they were straight, you would poke your eye out.
A Pokemon Go player walks into a bar.
And a tree. And a wall. And into a lake.
I recently had to go to the doctor, my entire body hurt everywhere
I told the doc
"It hurts when I poke my neck",
"It hurts when I poke my chest",
"It hurts when I poke my leg"
The doc took some x-rays and the results came back:
I had broken my finger
You ever take something apart, poke around inside and put everything back only to realize you've left some parts out?
It's why I'm not a surgeon anymore
I understand that some people don't like when I poke fun at God or religion
but, it's always been a blasphemy!
What do you get when you poke at a bottle of water?
Tap water
I'm so sorry for how s**... this is, but I felt like I had to share this with someone after I thought of it.
What's the Pokemon Sableye's birth sign?
Gem-in-eye
A blonde walks into a doctor's office
Blonde: doc! I think I got a skin disease!
She proceeds to poke everywhere and every time she pokes herself she yelps
Doctor: ma'am are you a natural blonde?
Blonde: yes why?
Doctor: your finger's broken.
I dumped my blonde girlfriend after she tried to poke holes in one of the condoms.
She might have gotten away with it had I not been wearing it at the time.
How do you get pikachu and squirtle on a bus?
You poke 'em on
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?
A key.
You're Next
I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next." They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.
Why are Pokemon considered manly in Peru?
It all dates back to the time of Macho-Pikachu
how do you p**... lady gaga off?
poke her face
Why is p**... hair curly?
So it doesn't poke your eyes.
Jane is on her honeymoon with Tarzan.
He lays stiff in bed awkwardly staring at the roof of the treehouse. "Have you ever had s**...?" She asks, he stands up and points out the window, "when Tarzan h**..., Tarzan poke hole in tree."
She walks over to him and says "Just do the same, pretend i'm the tree." He nods, and swiftly kicks her between the legs. "w**... was that?" She shrieks in pain.. "Tarzan always check for squirrels"
How do you make a potato leek soup?
Fill a potato with soup, then poke a hole in it.
Why didn't the pokemon listen to classical music?
Because he was lycanroc.
