Point View Jokes

46 point view jokes and hilarious point view puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about point view that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Point View Short Jokes

Short point view jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The point view humour may include short point of view jokes also.

  1. A had an argument with a witch, and she ended up hexing me. I can see her point of view though, there are always six sides to any story.
  2. How is a presidential debate like the show The View? Both have a couple of idiots talking over each other and not making a point.
  3. Been really trying to see things from my wife's point of view lately... Been looking out this kitchen window for hours...
  4. In an objective point of view, fat women are more attractive than skinny woman. According to Newton, the heavier an object is, the more it attracts other objects.
  5. Guy walks into a doctors office wearing nothing but saran wrap Dr. says: from my point of view, I can clearly see your nuts.
  6. pollution levels have come down so drastically That my wife is now seeing things from my point of view!
  7. CMV: Opinions are not easily swayed, so there is no point in trying to do so. Change my view.
  8. My wife told me to look at things from her point of view... So I looked out the kitchen window.
  9. It's strange how getting a fever can alter your perception of balance... From my point of view the Jedi are evil.
  10. Insanity is just a point of view. After all, the world looks pretty normal through your own underpants.

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Point View One Liners

Which point view one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with point view? I can suggest the ones about point and view.

  1. I got into an argument with a blind man. He just couldn't see my point of view.
  2. I was going to adopt a nihilistic world view, But there was no point.
  3. Today the air was so clear My wife could see my point of view
  4. How can you be both right and wrong? Be a republican from a democrat's point of view.
  5. How does a man see things from woman's point of view? By looking out the kitchen window.
  6. Have you heard of the new Daredevil game? It's going to be from his point of view.
  7. Why is there a window over the kitchen sink? So women can actually have a point of view.
  8. Tax Evasion From the company's point of view it makes cents.
  9. What do you call a 270 degree panoramic camera? An alt right point of view.
  10. My girlfriend wishes I could see things from her point of view. I do too.
  11. My father said to always trust a midget They see everything from a d**...'s point of view
  12. I like bi-s**... people They see things from both points of view. HEYOOOOO!

Cheerful Point View Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about point view you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hi point jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make point view pranks.

A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit."They must be British"
They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement.
"Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're n**... and so beautiful, clearly they are French". The Brit and Russian agreed on this point but the Russian soon raises an objection to this.
"No clothes, no shelter and they have only an apple to eat but they're told this is Paradise. They are clearly Russian"

The Garden of Eden

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're n**..., and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."

Relaxing location

While my parents were making their f**... arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. You'll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them.
Dad wasn't sold: Unless you're including a periscope with my casket, I don't know how I'm going to enjoy it.

When you put catnip in a scratching board to encourage cats to scratch it, you think it's cute when they use it.

But I would think that from their point of view, it's more like a crack addict that dropped a rock through a grate and is trying to get it back.

Based off of a meme

My wife and I were talking about the challenges we face in life, and the difficulties we had. She told me to see things from her point of view.
So, I looked out the kitchen window.

After years of going to catholic church I've finally decided to seek other points of view on religion...

... After countless hours of study and understanding, I felt an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
Had I made a mistake? Had I crossed a benevolent God?
I had studied Judaism in Israel,
Buddhism in Tibet,
Even to indigenous areas of the globe to to better understand what it means to have a God.
After all of this, I found myself being discharged from an Indian hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses, and I say
Am I dying ?
The head doctor replies
No, you were just Sikh for a few days .

Two men are walking through the woods

They hear some noise of some birds overhead. They point their guns in the air and take aim. One of the men takes a few steps forward to get a better view of the birds. He trips over a log and hits his head on a rock and immediately falls unconscious. The other man dials 9-1-1.
"9-1-1 what's your emergency"
"My friend...I think he's dead"
"Well why don't you make sure he's dead"
*\*Operator hears a bang\**
"I'm pretty sure he's dead now"
Heard this as a kid-thought it was hilarious.

3 Vampires join a blood-s**... competition..

Whoever is able to drink the most blood in the fastest time, would be declared the winner.
The 1st Vampire runs down the hill and comes back a minute afterwards. He points down the hill and said: "You guys see that village over there? I drank all of the people blood there!"
The 2nd Vampire runs down the hill and comes back in 30 seconds. He points down the hill and said: "You guys see that farm over there? I drank all of the animals and humans blood there!"
The 3rd Vampire runs down the hill and comes back in less than 5 seconds! His face is covered in blood and he seems out of breath. The other 2 vampires are shocked with this view. The 3rd Vampire said: "You see that telephone post?? I didn't...."

If World War One were a bar fight.

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.
Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.
Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a bar stool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

"The watch"

My dad just reminded me of this old classic!
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says. "Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolitan areas. He hits a few b**... and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more b**... and the same voice said something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding. The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all," says Jake. He pushes a few more b**... and a tiny but very hi-resolution, map of New York City appears on the display. "The flashing dot shows our location by satellite positioning," explains Jake. "View recede ten," Jake says, and the display changes to show eastern New York state. "I want to buy this watch!" says the stranger. "Oh, no, it's not ready for sale yet; I'm still working out the bugs, says the inventor. "But look at this," and he proceeds to demonstrate that the watch is also a very creditable little FM radio receiver with a digital tuner, a sonar device that can measure distances up to 125 meters, a pager with thermal paper printout and, most impressive of all, the capacity for voice recordings of up to 300 standard-size books," though I only have 32 of my favorites in there so far" says Jake. "I've got to have this watch!" says the stranger. "No, you don't understand; it's not ready." "I'll give you $1000 for it!" "Oh, no, I've already spent more than -" "I'll give you $5000 for it!" "But it's just not -" "I'll give you $15,000 for it!" And the stranger pulls out a checkbook. Jake stops to think. He's only put about $8500 into materials and development, and with $15,000 he can make another one and have it ready for merchandising in only six months. The stranger frantically finishes writing the check and waves it in front of him. "Here it is, ready to hand to you right here and now. $15,000. Take it or leave it." Jake abruptly makes his decision. "OK," he says, and peels off the watch. They make the exchange and the stranger starts happily away. "Hey, wait a minute," calls Jake after the stranger, who turns around warily. Jake points to the two suitcases he'd been trying to wrestle through the bus station. "Don't forget your batteries.

this is for my country

Four guys climb the highest observation point in the world. A white guy, black, jew, and german.
Theyr reach the very top and the german leans over the edge and is taken aback by the view.
Suddenly he shouts out "THIS IS FOR MY COUNTRY!" And leaps to his death.
Feeling a sudden urge of patriotism the jew leans over the edge and shouts "THIS IS FOR MY COUNTRY!!!" and leaps to his death.
Scared from witnesing two apparent suicides the black guy leans over the edge to check if the two had survived the fall.
"THIS IS FOR MY COUNTRY!!!' Shouts the white man and pushes the black guy over the edge and proceeds to walk back down.

A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary...

... and he's wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day and to her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check, 'There's no charge.'
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit,' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the mortician says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'