Point Jokes

158 point jokes and hilarious point puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about point that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with this article filled with hilarious Point Jokes! Read clever puns about West Point, Urdu Point, Hi Point, Decimal Point, Cedar Point, Missing the Point, Exclamation Point, and more. Find out the best tips to use your points to your advantage and never miss the point in a conversation again!

Funniest Point Short Jokes

Short point jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The point humour may include short spot jokes also.

  1. In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point." We didn't have those fancy hazmat suit you all wear today
  2. Jesus once said "He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword" He was a carpenter that died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a point.
  3. My friend just gave me a presentation on why I should invest in his sword making business. He made some excellent points.
  4. A thief pointed a knife at me and said "your money or your life" I smiled and told him I was married, so I have no money or a life. He dropped the knife and we hugged and cried for a moment.
  5. Reddit is possibly the most environmentally conscious site on the internet. Nearly 100% of the content is recycled at some point, often several times.
  6. My mom pointed at a guy across from our house... ...and said, "Stay away from him, he takes drugs."
    That's sound advice, I thought to myself. I don't want him taking mine.
  7. Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby? At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up
  8. What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend? The knife has a point.
  9. A man walks into a bakery, points to some bread and asks... Man: 'Is this Gluten free?'
    Cashier: No.
    It costs $4.50
  10. Two goldfish were sitting in a tank. At one point, one of them turns to the other. Do you know how to drive this thing?

Share These Point Jokes With Friends

Point One Liners

Which point one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with point? I can suggest the ones about direction and aspect.

  1. Once, chuck norris reached a point of no return…. …..and returned.
  2. If you can't beat them What's the point of having children?
  3. A gymnast walks into a bar... She is then deducted five points.
  4. I still remember my grandfather's last words Don't point that gun at me you idiot
  5. What is the worst thing you can say when someone points a gun at you? Oh, shoot!
  6. I don't see the point in learning Braille. But I can feel it.
  7. What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument? Good point
  8. Why was the gunman bad at arguing? He only had hollow points.
  9. At what point does cpr become necrophilia? When you both get hard.
  10. A gymnast walks into a bar, And is immediately deducted 10 points
  11. Why are telescopes pointed away from earth? Because they search for intelligent life
  12. I was going to buy an invisible sword... But I don't see the point.
  13. I hate spheres. Why do they even exist? There's no point.
  14. Today I wanted to make a broken pencil pun But there's no point.
  15. Why don't blind people sharpen pencils? They don't see the point.

Missing The Point Jokes

Here is a list of funny missing the point jokes and even better missing the point puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I asked my wife, how can we afford to drive when gas costs $500 per gallon? She told me I was missing the point
  • Subtlety is my middle name And my first and last name too, in case they miss my point.
  • Men only want one thing From the Missing-the-point department:
    Text from her: Men only want one thing, and it's disgusting!
    Text from him: Wash it then?
  • I keep trying to tell my friend a joke about his broken pencil, but he's missing the point.
  • People who can't tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals.... ....are missing the point.
  • The other day I was laying down a carpet... ...and my friend Speedy Gonzales was helping me. At one point I said, "Have I missed anything, Speedy?" And Speedy says, "Underlay, underlay!"
  • My friends say i'm really bad at bullseye. Guess im just missing the point of the game
  • Penn State has missed two extra points today which is weird because they are usually pretty consistent about doing the little things.
  • My mother-in-law told me not to miss her too much when I dropped her off at the airport... To which I replied "The only way I could miss you is if I point my gun in the wrong direction".
  • I feel like people are missing the point of the iPhone 7. The best part about Apple products is you get to imagine the improvements.

My Point Exactly Jokes

Here is a list of funny my point exactly jokes and even better my point exactly puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yesterday my wife pointed at the sky and said "Don't you think that looks exactly like Wonder Woman's plane" But I didn't see it.
  • I just don't get the point of paying in exact change. It makes no cents
  • hey baby, are you my market equilibrium point? cause you're supplying exactly what I'm demanding
  • Strange looks So I ask the wife why she's giving me those strange looks, she says she was smiling. Ehm..exactly my point 😟
  • I said to my mate, "I think we should feed my wife herbicide." He said, "w**... killer?" "My point exactly," I replied.
Point joke, I said to my mate, "I think we should feed my wife herbicide."

Point Of View Jokes

Here is a list of funny point of view jokes and even better point of view puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got into an argument with a blind man. He just couldn't see my point of view.
  • A had an argument with a witch, and she ended up hexing me. I can see her point of view though, there are always six sides to any story.
  • How is a presidential debate like the show The View? Both have a couple of idiots talking over each other and not making a point.
  • Been really trying to see things from my wife's point of view lately... Been looking out this kitchen window for hours...
  • In an objective point of view, fat women are more attractive than skinny woman. According to Newton, the heavier an object is, the more it attracts other objects.
  • Guy walks into a doctors office wearing nothing but saran wrap Dr. says: from my point of view, I can clearly see your nuts.
  • pollution levels have come down so drastically That my wife is now seeing things from my point of view!
  • CMV: Opinions are not easily swayed, so there is no point in trying to do so. Change my view.
  • I was going to adopt a nihilistic world view, But there was no point.
  • Today the air was so clear My wife could see my point of view

Point View Jokes

Here is a list of funny point view jokes and even better point view puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How can you be both right and wrong? Be a republican from a democrat's point of view.
  • How does a man see things from woman's point of view? By looking out the kitchen window.
  • Have you heard of the new Daredevil game? It's going to be from his point of view.
  • My wife told me to look at things from her point of view... So I looked out the kitchen window.
  • It's strange how getting a fever can alter your perception of balance... From my point of view the Jedi are evil.
  • Why is there a window over the kitchen sink? So women can actually have a point of view.
  • Tax Evasion From the company's point of view it makes cents.
  • Insanity is just a point of view. After all, the world looks pretty normal through your own underpants.
  • What do you call a 270 degree panoramic camera? An alt right point of view.
  • My girlfriend wishes I could see things from her point of view. I do too.

West Point Jokes

Here is a list of funny west point jokes and even better west point puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My niece is a sophomore at West Point. She's already had five majors, and three Captains and two Lieutenants.
  • I don't always talk to West Point graduates... ...but when I do, I ask for a side of fries.
Point joke, I don't always talk to West Point graduates...

Fun-Filled Point Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about point you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean moment jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make point pranks.

I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my 8 year old*

Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?
Me: Two. You have two, son.
Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!
The student has become the teacher.

Clint Eastwood, the Pope, and Yoda walk into the bar...

It was at this point I realized I had done WAY too many tequila shots.

A lady walks into an ice cream shop.

"Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.
"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man is frustrated at this point and decides to teach her a lesson.
"Ma'am, do you see the 'van' in vanilla?"
"Yes," she says.
"Do you also see the 'straw' in strawberry?"
"I do."
"Ma'am, do you see the 'frick' in chocolate?"
"There's no 'frick' in chocolate..."

A man come home from work one day...

... and asks his wife "Can you get me a beer, before it starts?"
The wife gets the beer and he drinks it in one c**....
He asks his wife again "Can you get me a beer, before it starts?"
Again, the wife gets the beer and he drinks it in one go.
Once more he asks his wife "Can you get me a beer, before it starts?"
At that point the wife says "Are you sure you want another beer? Isn't two enough for the evening?"
The man replies: "aaaand it started."

So people are loading into an airplane

And the pilot of this airplane is blind. At the end of the take off s**... is a huge lake. All the people on the plane are relaxing reading books and talking to each other as the airplane starts to roll down the s**.... A few people see that they are heading towards a lake but they assume the pilot knows what he's doing. The airplane is going dangerously close to the lake and the plane is still not taking off, at this point people are starting panic. The plane is still not taking off and it's way too close to the lake. At this point everyone on the plane is screaming and yelling because the plane is about to plunge into the lake at the end of the s**.... The plane is about 10 feet away from the lake then it lifts off the ground and takes off. The passengers calm down slowly and return to reading and talking . In the front of the plane the pilot laughs to himself and mumbles "one of these days the passengers won't scream and we'll all die."

When life starts

A Priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi are having a discussion. They are trying to determine the exact point when life starts. The Muslim argues that life starts at conception. The Priest disagrees and says that life starts at birth. The Rabbi turns to the two men and says, you are both wrong. When the dog dies and the kids move out, that is when life begins.

Corniest joke I know.

Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners p**... mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the p**... mansion seeing two friars outside.
Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.
The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Badum psh

Whose point is it anyway?

A ninety-year-old man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, my eighteen-year-old wife is expecting a baby."
The doctor said, "Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of a rifle, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. When a bear suddenly appeared and charged at the man - he picked up the umbrella, shot the bear, and killed it."
The man said, "Impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear."
The doctor said, "My point exactly!"

At church, last sunday

…, the preacher said "Jesus died for your sins". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted "Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"

He has a point...

Judge: "Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?"
Juror: "I don't want to be away from my job that long."
Judge: "Can't they do without you at work?"
Juror: "Yes, but I don't want them to know it."

"Your generation is too reliant on technology," my grandfather said to me.

"No, YOUR generation is too reliant on technology!" I said as I pulled the plug of his life support in order to further prove my point.

It has been scientifically proven that women with few pounds extra tend to live a lot longer than... who point that out.

Three men compare how they control their wives...

Three friends are sitting in a bar after a day of work, discussing their lives when the topic of conversation turns to how often they fight with their wives. The first guy says, "I just put my foot down and tell her what's what, and there's no more arguing after that. Then I get the TV to myself all night."
The second guy says, "I just keep repeating my point until she sees the light. Then she always makes my favourite dinner and gives me a back rub."
The third guy says, "Every time we argue, my wife is always on her hands and knees by the end of it."
The other two look at him, impressed. "Then what happens?" The second one asks.
"Well," the third says, " then she says 'Get out from under the bed and fight me you p**...!' "

Was walking by a mental hospital when...

I was walking down the street in front of a mental hospital when I heard a large group of people chanting 14, 14, 14, 14. My curiosity got the better of me so I peered through a small hole in the fence at which point a finger immediately poked me in the eye. After a short round of celebration I then heard the people start chanting 15, 15, 15, 15.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" p**...! The horse disappears.

A one-armed eldery man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris

The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrase the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman.
"Is everything alright?" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his arm in the second world war when he was fighting in Paris. The waiter tells his manager they've got a proper veteran in their restaurant and the manager doesn't think twice. "Everyone that fought for our freedom eats for free!"
The waiter brings them the good news and the couple is much delighted. After dinner the manager and the waiter e**... the couple to the door. When holding the door open for the veteran he looks at the manager and says "Vielen dank für die guten abend"

There once was a boy named "Odd."

People made fun of him because of his name, so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.
Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."

A German baby's parents are concerned that he never speaks...

It has gotten to the point where he is five years old and has said not a word, so his parents take him to the doctor. Everything's fine, he's healthy, not messed in the head. So then one day the German baby is having some apfelstrudel when he says "mother, zis strudel is quite tepid." The parents are amazed! "Wolfgang, you've finally spoken after all these years! What's happened?"
"Up until now, everyzing has been satisfactory."

A man was found dead eight years after committing s**...

Sort of proves his point, doesn't it?

Is it rude to go up to someone with an eyepatch and say

"Was it all fun and games up until that point?"

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me."

You reply with "That's the point."

A man walks into a bar and spies two lovely women sitting by the entrance...

As he walks towards the bar, he sees one tap the other shoulder and point at him. She looks him up and down and says "9", followed by giggling. The man goes over to his buddy and boasts that the two lovely ladies by the entrance had said he was a 9.
"Yeah, sorry man, but when I walked in they were speaking German."

If you want to know if a girl is into you, look at her feet.

If they point away from you she's not interested, if they're behind her ears she's very interested.

People are like lottery tickets.

You can point to a random one, say it's a loser, and you'll be right most of the time.

wife's insisting to quit job

The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory.

What's the difference between a knife, and an argument with a female?

A knife has a point...

Never understood the point of black friday

Could have sworn we already gave them a whole month

I'm 22 years old now and my eyesight is worsening,... what point do I get adult supervision?

Many burn victims are not very attractive,

But all of them used to be extremely hot at some point in the past.

Mexican self defense

A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?

One Slytherin to break it.
One Gryffindor to volunteer to change it.
Three Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder to ensure the safety of the Gryffindor student.
And one Ravenclaw to point out that they could have just used magic in the first place.

Why does Donald Trump finish nearly every tweet with an exclamation point?

Because he thinks periods are g**....

Wife and husband are in the living room.

She's doing stuff in her computer, while he's sitting on the couch typing on his phone.
At one point, wife's cellphone receives a message.
Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.
At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and see's a text message from her husband.
"Well, since you're in the kitchen, might as well make me a sandwich."

I don't get the point of a lap dance

If I wanted a woman to take my money and frustrate me s**..., I would've stayed home with my wife

Lord of the Bow

So I was telling my friend about my prowess with a bow and arrow yesterday. I said "my best round ever didn't start so well, I only scored 1 point with each of my first two arrows. Got better after that, scored 2 with the next, then 3, then 5. On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144."
She was quick to point out that this was impossible, so I had to confess it was a fibbin' archery sequence.

Mahatma Gandhi was a strange person.

He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very smelly breath.
He eventually became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

If there was one thing I had learned from Tetris,

Is that my mistakes pile up until the point I cant do anything about them anymore

I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey.

I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".
"Is that your real name?", she asked.
I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."

After getting the windows on my car tinted black, I showed it to my wife.

She said, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that thing!"
I said, "That's the point."

I thought about inventing a pencil with an eraser at both ends.

But I didn't see the point.

I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday

**She said:** You'll never find someone like me.
**I said:** That's the point.

I was once driving down the road..

..where I read a sign which said,
Speed limit 30km
I slowed down to 30km/h
A little further, another one
Speed limit 20km
I had to slow down even more,
Moving on, I saw another one
Speed limit 10km
My speedometer had come down to 10km/h
Not long after that, there was another
Speed limit 1km
I pulled over and started pushing my car to a point where I finally saw the last sign,
Welcome to Speed Limit

Whistle Puns

One day, I went to the store, and I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I went to the store again, and I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
After a lot of frustration, I went to the store again and I bought a lead whistle.
I was really mad at this point. It steel wooden lead me whistle!

How do you make a walrus commit s**...?

Point at its chest and say 'What's that?'

Your adorable!

She texted me: Your adorable!
I replied: No. You're adorable!
Now she likes me a lot... All I did was point out her typo.

Dave took his wife Sheila and her sister Mandy away for a weekend in the caravan.

"Any chance of a b**...?" Dave whispered to his wife when they were in bed.
"For f**...'s sake, Dave!" she hissed, "Mandy's in the bed over there!"
"Good point," he said, "Mandy? Any chance of a b**...?"

I asked out a Russian girl.....

I asked out a Russian girl, not with anything very serious in mind. She said yes.
However, on our first date, she insisted that we went to see a Russian movie, and then eat at a Russian restaurant. She then took me to see her Russian family, and told me about how she was going to take me to see the rest of her family in Russia.
At this point, I had to stop her. "Please", I said, "just stop Russian things!"

After someone pointed it out to her, my mother asked me to explain the difference between the District of Columbia and the country Colombia.

So explained to her that one of them is famous for it's drugs, corruption and blatant criminal activity, while the other historicly lost to England on penalties in this years world cup.

The Inca people were one of the few who ever mastered hunting with owls, much like traditional falconry.

Legend says they learned calls to communicate with the intelligent birds, even to the point of planning attack strategies ahead of time.
And that's where we get the term Inca-hoots.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."

The bartender tells him, "I used to have a stutter too. Then one day, my wife gave me head, and from that point on I was cured!" The guy gets really excited and runs out the door without ever getting his beer.
The next day, the guy walks back into the bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."
The bartender asks him, "It didn't work, huh?"
The guy says, "N-n-nope. B-but y-your h-h-house is r-r-really n-n-nice."

Last night I dated a blind woman

At one point she ran her hands over my cheeks and mistook my acne for braille. Boy, was my face read.

I don't understand the point of threesomes.

If I want to disappoint two people, I can just have dinner with my parents.

A mugger held me up at knife point, demanding I give all my money...

So I drew him a map to my ex-wife's house.

A horse walks into a bar, at which point the bartender asks if he's an alcoholic given all the bars he frequents.

I don't think I am. the horse replies.
The horse disappears.
This is the moment where those who are into philosophy start to grin as they're familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito Ergo Sum , or I think, therefore I am .
But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

When I became a teenager, my father gave me a 30 minute Power Point Presentation on the dangers of having unprotected s**....

All the slides were just pictures of me.

My son calling me dad was my breaking point

I finally s**... my legs

Two scientists are playing Minecraft.

Two scientists are playing Minecraft. One is new to the game and doesn't know much about it. At some point, he crafts a pickaxe, but doesn't know what to do with it, so he asks the more experienced scientist.
Scientist 1: Bro, what should I do with this pickaxe that I crafted?
Scientist 2: Br.

Why do people keep adding an extra s after 'needles'?

I don't see the point, it's needless.

Jesu‌‌s onc‌‌e sai‌‌d "H‌‌e wh‌‌o live‌‌s b‌‌y th‌‌e sword‌‌, wil‌‌l di‌‌e b‌‌y th‌‌e sword"

H‌‌e wa‌‌s ‌‌a carpente‌‌r tha‌‌t die‌‌d b‌‌y bein‌‌g naile‌‌d t‌‌o ‌‌a piec‌‌e o‌‌f wood‌‌, s‌‌o h‌‌e migh‌‌t hav‌‌e ha‌‌d ‌‌a point.

So I was having s**... with this woman...

I had her bent over her kitchen table, giving it to her good. When all of a sudden we heard a car door slam out front.
Oh god, she said, it's my husband. Quick, use the back door!
Well, I probably should have left at that point, but it's not an offer you get everyday...

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one orders a beer.
The second one orders half a beer.
The third one orders a quarter of a beer.
The fourth one orders an eighth of a beer.
At this point, the bartender has enough, poors the mathematicians two beers and says: "There you go, split them yourselves."

A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle....

So she says to her baby
_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her
10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_
5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man"_
At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells
_"FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"_

We were at a family dinner last night, and at one point my Uncle Bob stood up and declared, I'm gay and I don't care who knows it!

He must have been really drunk, because he's been married to my Uncle Tony for six years now.
Happy National Coming Out Day!

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my b**...."

I don't see why some people use fractions instead of decimals

It's pointless, but anyway you gotta draw the line somewhere or else people will think you're being irrational. But that's beside the point

Release the vaccine in vape form.

I promise you no one will ask what's in it at that point.

My dad just gave me a 30 minute Power Point Presentation on why to use condoms during s**....

All the slides were just pictures of me.

Two redditors walk into a bar.

"Well technically," the first argues, "it is a Pub since it serves food."
"Actually," the second says, "it is a Saloon since it is a part of a hotel."
Neither remembers the point of this post.

Point joke, Two redditors walk into a bar.

jokes about point