Point Jokes
152 point jokes and hilarious point puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about point that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with this article filled with hilarious Point Jokes! Read clever puns about West Point, Urdu Point, Hi Point, Decimal Point, Cedar Point, Missing the Point, Exclamation Point, and more. Find out the best tips to use your points to your advantage and never miss the point in a conversation again!
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Funniest Point Short Jokes
Short point jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The point humour may include short spot jokes also.
- In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point." We didn't have those fancy hazmat suit you all wear today
- Jesus once said "He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword" He was a carpenter that died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a point.
- My friend just gave me a presentation on why I should invest in his sword making business. He made some excellent points.
- A thief pointed a knife at me and said "your money or your life" I smiled and told him I was married, so I have no money or a life. He dropped the knife and we hugged and cried for a moment.
- Reddit is possibly the most environmentally conscious site on the internet. Nearly 100% of the content is recycled at some point, often several times.
- My mom pointed at a guy across from our house... ...and said, "Stay away from him, he takes drugs."
That's sound advice, I thought to myself. I don't want him taking mine. - Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby? At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up
- What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend? The knife has a point.
- A man walks into a bakery, points to some bread and asks... Man: 'Is this Gluten free?'
Cashier: No.
It costs $4.50 - A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
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Point One Liners
Which point one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with point? I can suggest the ones about direction and aspect.
- Once, chuck norris reached a point of no return…. …..and returned.
- If you can't beat them What's the point of having children?
- A gymnast walks into a bar... She is then deducted five points.
- I still remember my grandfather's last words Don't point that gun at me you idiot
- What is the worst thing you can say when someone points a gun at you? Oh, shoot!
- I don't see the point in learning Braille. But I can feel it.
- What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument? Good point
- Why was the gunman bad at arguing? He only had hollow points.
- Why are telescopes pointed away from earth? Because they search for intelligent life
- I was going to buy an invisible sword... But I don't see the point.
- I hate spheres. Why do they even exist? There's no point.
- Today I wanted to make a broken pencil pun But there's no point.
- Why don't blind people sharpen pencils? They don't see the point.
- Why did the circle agree with the triangle? The triangle had a point.
- Why buy an invisible knife? I don't see the point
Missing The Point Jokes
Here is a list of funny missing the point jokes and even better missing the point puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I asked my wife, how can we afford to drive when gas costs $500 per gallon? She told me I was missing the point
- Subtlety is my middle name And my first and last name too, in case they miss my point.
- I keep trying to tell my friend a joke about his broken pencil, but he's missing the point.
- People who can't tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals.... ....are missing the point.
- The other day I was laying down a carpet... ...and my friend Speedy Gonzales was helping me. At one point I said, "Have I missed anything, Speedy?" And Speedy says, "Underlay, underlay!"
- My friends say i'm really bad at bullseye. Guess im just missing the point of the game
- Penn State has missed two extra points today which is weird because they are usually pretty consistent about doing the little things.
- My mother-in-law told me not to miss her too much when I dropped her off at the airport... To which I replied "The only way I could miss you is if I point my gun in the wrong direction".
- I feel like people are missing the point of the iPhone 7. The best part about Apple products is you get to imagine the improvements.
- Atheists are like a broken pencil They're missing the point
My Point Exactly Jokes
Here is a list of funny my point exactly jokes and even better my point exactly puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yesterday my wife pointed at the sky and said "Don't you think that looks exactly like Wonder Woman's plane" But I didn't see it.
- I just don't get the point of paying in exact change. It makes no cents
- hey baby, are you my market equilibrium point? cause you're supplying exactly what I'm demanding
- Strange looks So I ask the wife why she's giving me those strange looks, she says she was smiling. Ehm..exactly my point 😟
Point Of View Jokes
Here is a list of funny point of view jokes and even better point of view puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got into an argument with a blind man. He just couldn't see my point of view.
- A had an argument with a witch, and she ended up hexing me. I can see her point of view though, there are always six sides to any story.
- Been really trying to see things from my wife's point of view lately... Been looking out this kitchen window for hours...
- In an objective point of view, fat women are more attractive than skinny woman. According to Newton, the heavier an object is, the more it attracts other objects.
- pollution levels have come down so drastically That my wife is now seeing things from my point of view!
- CMV: Opinions are not easily swayed, so there is no point in trying to do so. Change my view.
- I was going to adopt a nihilistic world view, But there was no point.
- Today the air was so clear My wife could see my point of view
- How can you be both right and wrong? Be a republican from a democrat's point of view.
- How does a man see things from woman's point of view? By looking out the kitchen window.
Point View Jokes
Here is a list of funny point view jokes and even better point view puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Have you heard of the new Daredevil game? It's going to be from his point of view.
- My wife told me to look at things from her point of view... So I looked out the kitchen window.
- Tax Evasion From the company's point of view it makes cents.
- What do you call a 270 degree panoramic camera? An alt right point of view.
- My girlfriend wishes I could see things from her point of view. I do too.
West Point Jokes
Here is a list of funny west point jokes and even better west point puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My niece is a sophomore at West Point. She's already had five majors, and three Captains and two Lieutenants.
- I don't always talk to West Point graduates... ...but when I do, I ask for a side of fries.
Fun-Filled Point Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about point you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean moment jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make point pranks.
I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my 8 year old*
Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?
Me: Two. You have two, son.
Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!
The student has become the teacher.
A husband, so proud...
....of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of 6" rather than by her first name. The wife was amused at first.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of 6, get me a beer!" This type of situation rose to a boiling point.
Finally, while at a party with her husband, he jokingly said, "Hey mother of 6, it's time to go!"
The wife shouted, "I'll be right with you - father of 4!"
[found this scrolling through YouTube Comments]
Clint Eastwood, the Pope, and Yoda walk into the bar...
It was at this point I realized I had done WAY too many tequila shots.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lady walks into an ice cream shop.
"Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.
"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man is frustrated at this point and decides to teach her a lesson.
"Ma'am, do you see the 'van' in vanilla?"
"Yes," she says.
"Do you also see the 'straw' in strawberry?"
"I do."
"Ma'am, do you see the 'frick' in chocolate?"
"There's no 'frick' in chocolate..."
"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man come home from work one day...
... and asks his wife "Can you get me a beer, before it starts?"
The wife gets the beer and he drinks it in one c**....
He asks his wife again "Can you get me a beer, before it starts?"
Again, the wife gets the beer and he drinks it in one go.
Once more he asks his wife "Can you get me a beer, before it starts?"
At that point the wife says "Are you sure you want another beer? Isn't two enough for the evening?"
The man replies: "aaaand it started."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So people are loading into an airplane
And the pilot of this airplane is blind. At the end of the take off s**... is a huge lake. All the people on the plane are relaxing reading books and talking to each other as the airplane starts to roll down the s**.... A few people see that they are heading towards a lake but they assume the pilot knows what he's doing. The airplane is going dangerously close to the lake and the plane is still not taking off, at this point people are starting panic. The plane is still not taking off and it's way too close to the lake. At this point everyone on the plane is screaming and yelling because the plane is about to plunge into the lake at the end of the s**.... The plane is about 10 feet away from the lake then it lifts off the ground and takes off. The passengers calm down slowly and return to reading and talking . In the front of the plane the pilot laughs to himself and mumbles "one of these days the passengers won't scream and we'll all die."
Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy...
At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
When life starts
A Priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi are having a discussion. They are trying to determine the exact point when life starts. The Muslim argues that life starts at conception. The Priest disagrees and says that life starts at birth. The Rabbi turns to the two men and says, you are both wrong. When the dog dies and the kids move out, that is when life begins.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
at the proctologist
I was at the doctor, getting the digital r**... exam, and the doctor says: "At this point of the exam it is normal to get an e**...". I said"I don't have an e**...". The doctor says "No. But I do".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Corniest joke I know.
Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners p**... mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the p**... mansion seeing two friars outside.
Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.
The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Badum psh
Whose point is it anyway?
A ninety-year-old man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, my eighteen-year-old wife is expecting a baby."
The doctor said, "Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of a rifle, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. When a bear suddenly appeared and charged at the man - he picked up the umbrella, shot the bear, and killed it."
The man said, "Impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear."
The doctor said, "My point exactly!"
At church, last sunday
…, the preacher said "Jesus died for your sins". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted "Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"
He has a point...
Judge: "Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?"
Juror: "I don't want to be away from my job that long."
Judge: "Can't they do without you at work?"
Juror: "Yes, but I don't want them to know it."
A new monk arrives at the monastery.....
and is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that instead of copying the original books , they are copying the copies.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books sobbing. He asks what's wrong.
"The word is celebrate. " says the old monk with tears in his eyes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
The knife has a point.
P.s: please don't kill me feminists, it's just a joke
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three men compare how they control their wives...
Three friends are sitting in a bar after a day of work, discussing their lives when the topic of conversation turns to how often they fight with their wives. The first guy says, "I just put my foot down and tell her what's what, and there's no more arguing after that. Then I get the TV to myself all night."
The second guy says, "I just keep repeating my point until she sees the light. Then she always makes my favourite dinner and gives me a back rub."
The third guy says, "Every time we argue, my wife is always on her hands and knees by the end of it."
The other two look at him, impressed. "Then what happens?" The second one asks.
"Well," the third says, " then she says 'Get out from under the bed and fight me you p**...!' "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A one-armed eldery man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris
The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrase the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman.
"Is everything alright?" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his arm in the second world war when he was fighting in Paris. The waiter tells his manager they've got a proper veteran in their restaurant and the manager doesn't think twice. "Everyone that fought for our freedom eats for free!"
The waiter brings them the good news and the couple is much delighted. After dinner the manager and the waiter e**... the couple to the door. When holding the door open for the veteran he looks at the manager and says "Vielen dank für die guten abend"
There once was a boy named "Odd."
People made fun of him because of his name, so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.
Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was found dead eight years after committing s**...
Sort of proves his point, doesn't it?
Is it rude to go up to someone with an eyepatch and say
"Was it all fun and games up until that point?"
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me."
You reply with "That's the point."
Gay guys know everything...
A gay guy and a straight guy are in a car and stuck at a stoplight for a very long time. The gay guy looks at the straight guy and says
"I'm going to go, it's going to turn green anyways."
the gay guy goes and it turns green. The straight guy says,
"how'd you do that."
"Gay guys know everything." said the gay guy.
Then the two go to the mall and while they're in the parking lot the gay guy stops the straight guy and says.
"I bet you in about 4 seconds 5 hot girls come around that corner over there."
About 4 seconds later 5 hot girls walk around the corner. The straight guy says,
"how'd you do that?"
the gay guy says yet again.
"Gay guys know everything."
*At this point in the joke you say to the person "Then the two guys go up these things that are a lot like stairs but they move?" Struggle to think about what they are called and hopefully the person you're telling the joke to says "escalator." Then you say*
"Gay guys know everything..."
An experienced customs officer is having a shift on the border
At some point he sees a man pushing a bicycle with a huge sack thrown over the seat. He stops him at the border.
"What do you have in this sack?"
"Sand."
"Well let me check."
The officer opens up the bag and indeed it's full of sand. He searches it throughly, but there's nothing else, so he lets the man go.
The next day the same man shows up, again pushing a bicycle with a huge sack thrown over the seat, and again there was nothing but sand in it.
After a few days of this playing out, the customs officer holds up the man a little longer.
"Listen pal, I've been in this job for 10 years now, I can recognize a smuggler from a mile away. I have no definite proof, but I know you have been taking something past this border and it's driving me crazy. Let's make a deal - you tell me what you are smuggling and I won't stop you any more. So what is it?"
And the man replied.
"Bicycles."
If you want to know if a girl is into you, look at her feet.
If they point away from you she's not interested, if they're behind her ears she's very interested.
People are like lottery tickets.
You can point to a random one, say it's a loser, and you'll be right most of the time.
An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve
An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.
The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."
The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British."
The North Korean says, "You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have and apple to eat between them and yet they are being told that they live in paradise. They're clearly North Korean."
wife's insisting to quit job
The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital
The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all s**.... We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."
Never understood the point of black friday
Could have sworn we already gave them a whole month
Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange...
I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.
Many burn victims are not very attractive,
But all of them used to be extremely hot at some point in the past.
Mexican self defense
A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six.
One Slytherin to break it.
One Gryffindor to volunteer to change it.
Three Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder to ensure the safety of the Gryffindor student.
And one Ravenclaw to point out that they could have just used magic in the first place.
I made a java program to tell me my purpose.
It keeps saying "Null point exception", so it works great.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Donald Trump finish nearly every tweet with an exclamation point?
Because he thinks periods are g**....
Wife and husband are in the living room.
She's doing stuff in her computer, while he's sitting on the couch typing on his phone.
At one point, wife's cellphone receives a message.
Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.
At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and see's a text message from her husband.
"Well, since you're in the kitchen, might as well make me a sandwich."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't get the point of a lap dance
If I wanted a woman to take my money and frustrate me s**..., I would've stayed home with my wife
Lord of the Bow
So I was telling my friend about my prowess with a bow and arrow yesterday. I said "my best round ever didn't start so well, I only scored 1 point with each of my first two arrows. Got better after that, scored 2 with the next, then 3, then 5. On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144."
She was quick to point out that this was impossible, so I had to confess it was a fibbin' archery sequence.
I almost bought a pen because it wrote underwater, but the biggest selling point for me was...
It wrote thousands of other words!
Mahatma Gandhi was a strange person.
He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very smelly breath.
He eventually became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
If there was one thing I had learned from Tetris,
Is that my mistakes pile up until the point I cant do anything about them anymore
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boy selling newspapers
A boy is selling newspapers in a street corner when a man walks up to him and says "W-w-what t-t-time is it b-boy?" The boy looks at him but doesn't say anything. "I a-asked you a q-question b-boy, W-w-what t-t-time is it?" Again the boy doesn't say anything. The man is getting angry at this point and says "D-d**... boy, I asked y-you a q-question and I e-expect an a-answer. W-w-what time is it?" The boy still doesn't answer and the man storms off.
Another man comes up and asks why the kid didn't answer and the boy says "And d-do w-w-what? Get the sh-s**... k-kicked out of me?"
I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey.
I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".
"Is that your real name?", she asked.
I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."
I thought about inventing a pencil with an eraser at both ends.
But I didn't see the point.
I was once driving down the road..
..where I read a sign which said,
Speed limit 30km
I slowed down to 30km/h
A little further, another one
Speed limit 20km
I had to slow down even more,
Moving on, I saw another one
Speed limit 10km
My speedometer had come down to 10km/h
Not long after that, there was another
Speed limit 1km
I pulled over and started pushing my car to a point where I finally saw the last sign,
Welcome to Speed Limit
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make a walrus commit s**...?
Point at its chest and say 'What's that?'
Your adorable!
She texted me: Your adorable!
I replied: No. You're adorable!
Now she likes me a lot... All I did was point out her typo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dave took his wife Sheila and her sister Mandy away for a weekend in the caravan.
"Any chance of a b**...?" Dave whispered to his wife when they were in bed.
"For f**...'s sake, Dave!" she hissed, "Mandy's in the bed over there!"
"Good point," he said, "Mandy? Any chance of a b**...?"
The snow in the UK is pretty bad right now
So I thought I'd check on my elderly 85 year old neighbour Valerie to see if she needed anything from the shops.
She said she did so I gave her my list too, no point us both going out in this weather.
I asked out a Russian girl.....
I asked out a Russian girl, not with anything very serious in mind. She said yes.
However, on our first date, she insisted that we went to see a Russian movie, and then eat at a Russian restaurant. She then took me to see her Russian family, and told me about how she was going to take me to see the rest of her family in Russia.
At this point, I had to stop her. "Please", I said, "just stop Russian things!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After someone pointed it out to her, my mother asked me to explain the difference between the District of Columbia and the country Colombia.
So explained to her that one of them is famous for it's drugs, corruption and blatant criminal activity, while the other historicly lost to England on penalties in this years world cup.
The Inca people were one of the few who ever mastered hunting with owls, much like traditional falconry.
Legend says they learned calls to communicate with the intelligent birds, even to the point of planning attack strategies ahead of time.
And that's where we get the term Inca-hoots.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."
The bartender tells him, "I used to have a stutter too. Then one day, my wife gave me head, and from that point on I was cured!" The guy gets really excited and runs out the door without ever getting his beer.
The next day, the guy walks back into the bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."
The bartender asks him, "It didn't work, huh?"
The guy says, "N-n-nope. B-but y-your h-h-house is r-r-really n-n-nice."
Last night I dated a blind woman
At one point she ran her hands over my cheeks and mistook my acne for braille. Boy, was my face read.
A mugger held me up at knife point, demanding I give all my money...
So I drew him a map to my ex-wife's house.
Knock knock
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
It's Dave!
Dave who?
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My son calling me dad was my breaking point
I finally s**... my legs
Two scientists are playing Minecraft.
Two scientists are playing Minecraft. One is new to the game and doesn't know much about it. At some point, he crafts a pickaxe, but doesn't know what to do with it, so he asks the more experienced scientist.
Scientist 1: Bro, what should I do with this pickaxe that I crafted?
Scientist 2: Br.
Why do people keep adding an extra s after 'needles'?
I don't see the point, it's needless.
Jesus once said "He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword"
He was a carpenter that died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a point.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I was having s**... with this woman...
I had her bent over her kitchen table, giving it to her good. When all of a sudden we heard a car door slam out front.
Oh god, she said, it's my husband. Quick, use the back door!
Well, I probably should have left at that point, but it's not an offer you get everyday...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle....
So she says to her baby
_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her
10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_
5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man"_
At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells
_"FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"_
We were at a family dinner last night, and at one point my Uncle Bob stood up and declared, I'm gay and I don't care who knows it!
He must have been really drunk, because he's been married to my Uncle Tony for six years now.
•••
Happy National Coming Out Day!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my b**...."
I don't see why some people use fractions instead of decimals
It's pointless, but anyway you gotta draw the line somewhere or else people will think you're being irrational. But that's beside the point
Release the vaccine in vape form.
I promise you no one will ask what's in it at that point.
A blonde and a brunette are riding in an elevator...
At one point, a man steps aboard with dandruff all over his suit. He gets off a few floors later and the brunette turns to the blonde and whispers-
Now THAT'S a guy who could really use some Head & Shoulders!
The blonde looks perplexed:
How do you give somebody shoulders?
Two redditors walk into a bar.
"Well technically," the first argues, "it is a Pub since it serves food."
"Actually," the second says, "it is a Saloon since it is a part of a hotel."
Neither remembers the point of this post.
Anybody caught breaking rule will be fined....
The first day of university and Dean addressing the students, pointing out some of the rules: The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.
He continued, Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: How much for a season ticket?
