The Best 77 Point Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Point jokes. There are some point shrug jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these point gist puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Point Jokes and Puns

I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my 8 year old*

Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?

Me: Two. You have two, son.

Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!

The student has become the teacher.

A man come home from work one day...

... and asks his wife "Can you get me a beer, before it starts?"

The wife gets the beer and he drinks it in one chug.

He asks his wife again "Can you get me a beer, before it starts?"

Again, the wife gets the beer and he drinks it in one go.

Once more he asks his wife "Can you get me a beer, before it starts?"

At that point the wife says "Are you sure you want another beer? Isn't two enough for the evening?"

The man replies: "aaaand it started."

What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument?

Good point

Point joke, What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument?

When life starts

A Priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi are having a discussion. They are trying to determine the exact point when life starts. The Muslim argues that life starts at conception. The Priest disagrees and says that life starts at birth. The Rabbi turns to the two men and says, you are both wrong. When the dog dies and the kids move out, that is when life begins.

Corniest joke I know.

Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners playboy mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the playboy mansion seeing two friars outside.

Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.

The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Badum psh


Whose point is it anyway?

A ninety-year-old man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, my eighteen-year-old wife is expecting a baby."

The doctor said, "Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of a rifle, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. When a bear suddenly appeared and charged at the man - he picked up the umbrella, shot the bear, and killed it."

The man said, "Impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear."

The doctor said, "My point exactly!"

At church, last sunday

…, the preacher said "Jesus died for your sins". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted "Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"

Point joke, At church, last sunday

"Your generation is too reliant on technology," my grandfather said to me.

"No, YOUR generation is too reliant on technology!" I said as I pulled the plug of his life support in order to further prove my point.

It has been scientifically proven that women with few pounds extra tend to live a lot longer than...

...men who point that out.

Was walking by a mental hospital when...

I was walking down the street in front of a mental hospital when I heard a large group of people chanting 14, 14, 14, 14. My curiosity got the better of me so I peered through a small hole in the fence at which point a finger immediately poked me in the eye. After a short round of celebration I then heard the people start chanting 15, 15, 15, 15.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" POOF! The horse disappears.

You can explore point dot reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean point seemingly dad jokes. There are also point puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There once was a boy named "Odd."

People made fun of him because of his name, so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.

Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."

A German baby's parents are concerned that he never speaks...

It has gotten to the point where he is five years old and has said not a word, so his parents take him to the doctor. Everything's fine, he's healthy, not messed in the head. So then one day the German baby is having some apfelstrudel when he says "mother, zis strudel is quite tepid." The parents are amazed! "Wolfgang, you've finally spoken after all these years! What's happened?"

"Up until now, everyzing has been satisfactory."

Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby?

At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up

A man was found dead eight years after committing suicide

Sort of proves his point, doesn't it?

Is it rude to go up to someone with an eyepatch and say

"Was it all fun and games up until that point?"

Point joke, Is it rude to go up to someone with an eyepatch and say

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me."

You reply with "That's the point."

A man walks into a bar and spies two lovely women sitting by the entrance...

As he walks towards the bar, he sees one tap the other shoulder and point at him. She looks him up and down and says "9", followed by giggling. The man goes over to his buddy and boasts that the two lovely ladies by the entrance had said he was a 9.

"Yeah, sorry man, but when I walked in they were speaking German."

If you want to know if a girl is into you, look at her feet.

If they point away from you she's not interested, if they're behind her ears she's very interested.


What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

At what point does CPR become necrophilia?

When you both get hard.

People are like lottery tickets.

You can point to a random one, say it's a loser, and you'll be right most of the time.

If you can't beat them

What's the point of having children?

wife's insisting to quit job

The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...

I work in a hammer factory.

What's the difference between a knife, and an argument with a female?

A knife has a point...

Jesus once said "He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword"

He was a carpenter that died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a point.

Never understood the point of black friday

Could have sworn we already gave them a whole month

I'm 22 years old now and my eyesight is worsening,...

...at what point do I get adult supervision?

Many burn victims are not very attractive,

But all of them used to be extremely hot at some point in the past.

Mexican self defense

A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.

Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.

Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.

At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices

Mexican: Judono

Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?

Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...

Why does Donald Trump finish nearly every tweet with an exclamation point?

Because he thinks periods are gross.

Wife and husband are in the living room.

She's doing stuff in her computer, while he's sitting on the couch typing on his phone.

At one point, wife's cellphone receives a message.

Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.

At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and see's a text message from her husband.

"Well, since you're in the kitchen, might as well make me a sandwich."

I don't get the point of a lap dance

If I wanted a woman to take my money and frustrate me sexually, I would've stayed home with my wife

Lord of the Bow

So I was telling my friend about my prowess with a bow and arrow yesterday. I said "my best round ever didn't start so well, I only scored 1 point with each of my first two arrows. Got better after that, scored 2 with the next, then 3, then 5. On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144."

She was quick to point out that this was impossible, so I had to confess it was a fibbin' archery sequence.

Mahatma Gandhi was a strange person.

He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very smelly breath.

He eventually became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

If there was one thing I had learned from Tetris,

Is that my mistakes pile up until the point I cant do anything about them anymore

I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey.

I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".

"Is that your real name?", she asked.

I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."

After getting the windows on my car tinted black, I showed it to my wife.

She said, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that thing!"

I said, "That's the point."

I still remember my grandfather's last words

Don't point that gun at me you idiot

I don't see the point in learning Braille.

But I can feel it.

I thought about inventing a pencil with an eraser at both ends.

But I didn't see the point.

I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday

**She said:** You'll never find someone like me.

**I said:** That's the point.

I was once driving down the road..

..where I read a sign which said,
Speed limit 30km
I slowed down to 30km/h
A little further, another one
Speed limit 20km
I had to slow down even more,
Moving on, I saw another one
Speed limit 10km
My speedometer had come down to 10km/h
Not long after that, there was another
Speed limit 1km
I pulled over and started pushing my car to a point where I finally saw the last sign,

Welcome to Speed Limit

Whistle Puns

One day, I went to the store, and I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

So I went to the store again, and I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.

After a lot of frustration, I went to the store again and I bought a lead whistle.
I was really mad at this point. It steel wooden lead me whistle!

How do you make a walrus commit suicide?

Point at its chest and say 'What's that?'

Your adorable!

She texted me: Your adorable!

I replied: No. You're adorable!

Now she likes me a lot... All I did was point out her typo.

Dave took his wife Sheila and her sister Mandy away for a weekend in the caravan.

"Any chance of a blow job?" Dave whispered to his wife when they were in bed.

"For fuck's sake, Dave!" she hissed, "Mandy's in the bed over there!"

"Good point," he said, "Mandy? Any chance of a blow job?"

I asked out a Russian girl.....

I asked out a Russian girl, not with anything very serious in mind. She said yes.

However, on our first date, she insisted that we went to see a Russian movie, and then eat at a Russian restaurant. She then took me to see her Russian family, and told me about how she was going to take me to see the rest of her family in Russia.

At this point, I had to stop her. "Please", I said, "just stop Russian things!"

The Inca people were one of the few who ever mastered hunting with owls, much like traditional falconry.

Legend says they learned calls to communicate with the intelligent birds, even to the point of planning attack strategies ahead of time.

And that's where we get the term Inca-hoots.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."

The bartender tells him, "I used to have a stutter too. Then one day, my wife gave me head, and from that point on I was cured!" The guy gets really excited and runs out the door without ever getting his beer.

The next day, the guy walks back into the bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."

The bartender asks him, "It didn't work, huh?"

The guy says, "N-n-nope. B-but y-your h-h-house is r-r-really n-n-nice."

Last night I dated a blind woman

At one point she ran her hands over my cheeks and mistook my acne for braille. Boy, was my face read.

I was going to buy an invisible sword...

But I don't see the point.

I don't understand the point of threesomes.

If I want to disappoint two people, I can just have dinner with my parents.

A mugger held me up at knife point, demanding I give all my money...

So I drew him a map to my ex-wife's house.

Two goldfish were sitting in a tank. At one point, one of them turns to the other.

Do you know how to drive this thing?

A horse walks into a bar, at which point the bartender asks if he's an alcoholic given all the bars he frequents.

I don't think I am. the horse replies.

*poof*

The horse disappears.

This is the moment where those who are into philosophy start to grin as they're familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito Ergo Sum , or I think, therefore I am .

But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

When I became a teenager, my father gave me a 30 minute Power Point Presentation on the dangers of having unprotected sex.

All the slides were just pictures of me.

Two scientists are playing Minecraft.

Two scientists are playing Minecraft. One is new to the game and doesn't know much about it. At some point, he crafts a pickaxe, but doesn't know what to do with it, so he asks the more experienced scientist.

Scientist 1: Bro, what should I do with this pickaxe that I crafted?

Scientist 2: Br.

Jesuβ€Œβ€Œs oncβ€Œβ€Œe saiβ€Œβ€Œd "Hβ€Œβ€Œe whβ€Œβ€Œo liveβ€Œβ€Œs bβ€Œβ€Œy thβ€Œβ€Œe swordβ€Œβ€Œ, wilβ€Œβ€Œl diβ€Œβ€Œe bβ€Œβ€Œy thβ€Œβ€Œe sword"

Hβ€Œβ€Œe waβ€Œβ€Œs β€Œβ€Œa carpenteβ€Œβ€Œr thaβ€Œβ€Œt dieβ€Œβ€Œd bβ€Œβ€Œy beinβ€Œβ€Œg naileβ€Œβ€Œd tβ€Œβ€Œo β€Œβ€Œa piecβ€Œβ€Œe oβ€Œβ€Œf woodβ€Œβ€Œ, sβ€Œβ€Œo hβ€Œβ€Œe mighβ€Œβ€Œt havβ€Œβ€Œe haβ€Œβ€Œd β€Œβ€Œa point.

So I was having sex with this woman...

I had her bent over her kitchen table, giving it to her good. When all of a sudden we heard a car door slam out front.

Oh god, she said, it's my husband. Quick, use the back door!

Well, I probably should have left at that point, but it's not an offer you get everyday...

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one orders a beer.
The second one orders half a beer.
The third one orders a quarter of a beer.
The fourth one orders an eighth of a beer.
At this point, the bartender has enough, poors the mathematicians two beers and says: "There you go, split them yourselves."

A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle....

So she says to her baby

_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her

10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_

5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man"_

At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells

_"FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"_

We were at a family dinner last night, and at one point my Uncle Bob stood up and declared, I'm gay and I don't care who knows it!

He must have been really drunk, because he's been married to my Uncle Tony for six years now.

β€’β€’β€’

Happy National Coming Out Day!

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."

I don't see why some people use fractions instead of decimals

It's pointless, but anyway you gotta draw the line somewhere or else people will think you're being irrational. But that's beside the point

In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point."

We didn't have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today

My dad just gave me a 30 minute Power Point Presentation on why to use condoms during sex.

All the slides were just pictures of me.

Anybody caught breaking rule will be fined....

The first day of university and Dean addressing the students, pointing out some of the rules: The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.

He continued, Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: How much for a season ticket?

Reddit is possibly the most environmentally conscious site on the internet.

Nearly 100% of the content is recycled at some point, often several times.

What's the difference between a pencil and my life?

The pencil had a point.

I pointed towards two old drunks sitting across the table in the bar

and told my friend "We'll be like that in another 10 years"

He said "That's a mirror you idiot!"

A girl has to get her picture taken for school.

She has her mom buy her some new clothes so she'll look nice. At one point she asks for new shoes. Her mom says "nobody will be able to see your shoes in the picture". The girl points at the notice and says "it says RIGHT HERE that they will be photographing the entire student body!"

There are 2.000000000001 kinds of people in the world

Those who have dealt with floating point, and those who have not.

A Doctor, a Lawyer, and a Meteorologist are at a bar.

At some point later that night they reached a 2nd bar. The meteorologist turned and looked at the doctor and lawyer saying; this is too much pressure for me right now.

A man is falling out of a plane.

A man is falling out of a plane, intending to go parachuting. He pulls the ripcord, and it breaks.

Okay, he thinks. That's why there's a backup. He pulls the backup ripcord, and... It breaks.

At this point, he's thoroughly worried. But then, he sees a guy flying up right at him, as though propelled by an explosion.

"HEY!" He shouts. "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PARACHUTES?"

"NO!" Replies the propelled man. "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PROPANE GRILLS?"

Dear sir, On behalf of Channel Four may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new reality show.

Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt". Kind regards Channel Four.

A chemist, physicist, and statistician go hunting.

They are behind a bush and all three see a 12 point buck off into the distance.



The chemist stands up and shoots at the deer but misses 50 yards to the left.



The physicist stands up and shoots at the deer and misses 50 yards to the right.



The statistician gets up and screams "We got him!".



I know, I know, it is a mean joke.....

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the point exclamation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working point my point exactly piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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