Poet Jokes
68 poet jokes and hilarious poet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about poet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Poet Short Jokes
Short poet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The poet humour may include short poem jokes also.
- There Once Was A Poet Named Bates, His poems weren't always first rate,
His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,
Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line. - A woman was being perused by two men. One was a baker and one was a poet,
She had to make up her mind for batter or verse. - Came up with this joke this morning in the shower. I took a tour of a prison for poets, at the end the warden asked what I thought of it. I said it has its prose and cons.
- Everyone knows of Yao Ming, one of the most iconic basketball players of his generation. Far lesser known was his sister Rai, one of the preeminent female poets of her generation.
- I'm a poet and I know it I dug, you dug, he dug, she dug, we all dug.
It's not a great poem, but it's deep. - I also wrote a poem, too, too I feel.
You feel.
He feels.
She feels.
They feel.
We feel.
I know I'm not a great poet, but I've been told this is very touching. - I just finished reading a book by a group of amateur poets... The poems aren't bad, but you can tell they're not prose.
- There was a young poet called Dinesh There was a young poet called Dinesh
Who could start but never quite finish
He began so ambitiously
Continued deliciously
Then stopped - A poet and a logician were found dead earlier this week. They say the killer had no rhyme or reason.
- Did you hear about the poet who liked to dip his work in moisturiser? It was poetry in lotion
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Poet One Liners
Which poet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with poet? I can suggest the ones about wrote poem and writer.
- How does a backward poet write? Inverse.
- Why was the poet teaching at a prison so happy? She had a captive audience
- How do poets say hello? *"Hey, haven't we metaphor?"*
- I'm writing a book about poets who have been jailed It's called prose and cons
- What does the poet do when he's frustrated with his fellow student? Shakes peer.
- Have you heard about the vampire turned poet? He went from _bat_ ... to __verse__!
- Why do poets go to the zoo to use the restroom? So they can poo in the loo at the zoo.
- What did the poet with hemorrhoids say? I'm stuffin the puffin back into my muffin.
- What do you call a poet with a cold? An illiterate.
- What is a poet's favorite legume? Rhyma-beans!
- What do you call bread baked by a poet? Poet-rye
- I'm a poet, and I just don't... ...think I've reached my full potential.
- How many letters are in a poet's name? Usually just a couple of Wordsworth
- What do you call an amateur sports team made up entirely of poets? semi-prose
- What do you call a tribal poet? Shake-A-Spear!
Comedy Poet Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about poet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean painter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make poet pranks.
What's the best about a poet in a prison?
Oh you know, it has it's prose and cons.
Badum Tish.
It's my first here, be gentle.
A limerick about limericks
There was a young poet from Japan
Whose limericks did not easily scan
When asked why this was,
He said, "It's because
IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."
I took a poetry class at an all-girls school
It was called Girls Gone Wilde.
Poetic Justice
Judge:
I find you guilty.
You are sentenced to ten years,
Take him away boys.
Prosecutor mutters, "Poetic Justice"
First Insta-Slam poet
What do you get when you cross a mafia don with a modern poet?
An offer you can't understand.
So I am a poet and a novelist challenges me to a fight...
So I say "Come at me, prose"
What do you call someone who has neither rhyme nor reason?
An unreasonable and unskilled poet.
An archeologist found a t**....
An archeologist found a t**....
He wondered what period it was from.
(Not my joke! Credit to Shane Koyczan's poet friend)
Why were some people not allowed in to the Poet College?
Because they were bard.
Why did the lady poet go to the doctor?
She had a Yeats Inflection
I heard a rumor that a certain 17th century metaphysical poet was cheap...
But who wants to tip a waitress who insists, before one has even finished the appetizer, that he must be Donne.
I'm a Poet...
and I didn't even realise until just then.
Who is the most poetic videogame character?
Sonnet the Hedgehog
What do you call a prehistoric poet?
Shake Spear
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry.
Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
There once was a poet named Stan...
...whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He'd reply, "yes, I know,
But you see, the thing is, I seem to have gone and gotten myself into this really rather ridiculous habit recently of always trying to cram as many completely unnecessary additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can!"
Why was the beat poet arrested?
He was accused of cesura harassment.
A man meets a girl in a bar
The man says to the girl "every time you smile it makes me want to take you home"
The girl replies "Your words are beautiful, are you a poet?"
The man replies "No I am a dentist"
Poetry contest
A r**... and a Harvard graduate are in a poetry contest where they have to come up with a poem that has the word Timbuktu in it. The Harvard graduate goes first.
Amongst the desert sands
Away ride the caravans
Camels leaving, two by two
Destination: Timbuktu
The audience applauds, thinking that the r**... does not have a chance. Then the r**... goes.
Me and Tim a'huntin' went,
Found some w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three and we was two
So I bucked one and Timbuktu!
A racist poet
Would probably be part of
The Haiku Klux k**...
Al Gore was a programmer and moreover, a poet
All his poems are now called AlGoreRhythms.
What do you call an Australian male colouring articles of clothing while reading a poem by popular English poet Percy Shelley?
Aussie-man-dyes-us.
Did you hear about the poet who persisted, even though he was terrible?
He just couldn't refrain.
In his later years Bruce Wayne retired and became a famous poet
Apparently, he went from bat to verse.
Poetry!
What you say when Edgar Allen is about to run into a tree.
Went to a poetry event for people who are tired of reading "The Raven."
It was an Ex-Poe Expo.
What did the English poet say about Steve Irwin?
Ozyman lives as Ozymandias.
Poetry and Short Stories
"I'm afraid I've caught poetry."
"Oh, really? Well, don't worry, sir. I used to... suffer from short stories."
"Really? When?"
"Oh, once upon a time."
How do poets say hello to each other?
Hey, have we metaphor?
A joke by Mirza Ghalib (renowned Urdu / Persian poet) translated into English
Not sure if the humor is lost in translation but I found it hilarious. Anyway here goes:
I got drunk under the influence of love and told her that she's my Goddess;
I immediately sobered up when she told me that Goddesses are worshipped by many.
There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.
They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck two."
There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,
There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,
His poems weren't always first rate,
His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,
Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.
Rest in Peace
A well known Hollywood actress died in an accident and her numerous friends got together to hire the country's highest paid poet to compose an epitaph for her.
When the stone was laid across the top, it read:
"At last, she sleeps alone."
"Hey, aren't you a poetic metric characterized by a short syllable followed by a long, stressed syllable?"
"iamb"
