Poem Recite Jokes
10 poem recite jokes and hilarious poem recite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about poem recite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu
For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.
" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a r**... from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the r**... top that, they thought. The r**... calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The r**... won hands down!
When your girlfriend tells you to go deeper...
... but you already ran out of poems to recite.
Woman talking to her husband: My friend Susan said her boyfriend recites poems about love to her, I think that's so romantic, why can't you do something like that? Husband replies I can do that.
Roses are red your p**... are moist, I'd take you to bed, but I don't have a hoist.
A Priest was reciting a poem, "Roses are red violets are blue".
My girlfriend is 9 I'm 62.
Timbuktu
Two gentlemen are sitting at the pearly gates waiting to speak with St. Peter. St. Peter asks them both to recite a poem using the word Timbuktu.
They sat there for a bit and the first guy says "While sitting on the ocean shore, listening to the ocean roar, I saw a ship passing through, it's destination, Timbuktu." St. Peter smiled and allowed him through the gates.
The second guy was having a very hard time coming up with a poem. After a long while he finally says "Tim and I, a walking we went, spotted three maidens in a tent. While they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Timbuktu."
Timbuktu
The chief poet of the town dies, so they have to elect a new one. The voting whittles the candidates down to two. The town holds a feast to choose the winner. The mayor stands up and declares that the winner shall be decided by voting on the poem the candidates can come up with on the spot based on a subject of his choosing. The mayor announces the subject will be "Timbuktu."
The first candidate stands up, thinks for a moment, and recites:
It came across a stormy gale
Broad of beam and wide of sail
Its keel was white, its hull was blue
Its destination: Timbuktu
The crowd erupts, they're cheering for the first candidate. The mayor calms the crowd, chiding them to remember they still must hear the other candidate's poem. The second candidate stands up, considers the crowd with utter solemnity, and says:
A-hiking Tim and I went,
When we came upon three girls in a tent
Since they were three and we but two,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two
The r**... Poet
Robert Frost and a r**... came to heaven's gate at the same time. St. Peter stood at the gate with instuctions for the two: ''You cannot enter the gates of heaven until you can make up a poem and recite it to me using the word 'Timbuktu' in it.'' Robert Frost stepped up and recited a magnificent, graceful poem and was let in the gates.
Then the r**... stepped up and St. Peter said, ''Now, what is your poem?''
The r**... paused and scratched. ''Oh! I got it,'' said the r**..., ''here it goes...Me and Tim a huntin' went, Met three maidens in a tent, They was three and we was two, So I bucked one and Tim bucked two.''
Timbuktu
In the finals of a national poetry contest, the last two contestants are a Harvard graduate and a r**.... The Harvard graduate steps forward to receive the last subject. The judges tell him 'Timbuktu'. He thinks for a moment and recites his poem:
Across the vast and open sands
March a lonely caravan.
As they march, two by two
Destination Timbuktu
The crowd goes wild as the r**... steps forward. The judges tell him his subject is Timbuktu. He thinks for a while, when a big grin spreads across his face.
A huntin me and my friend Tim went.
We found three w**... in a pop-up tent.
Of them were three, and of us were two,
so I bucked one and Tim-buck-two!
The poetry contest
There was a prestigious, international poetry contest held in a glamorous foreign city. Contestants had come from all over the world and by the end there was one man whom everyone thought was going to win and a camo-wearing, baccer-chewing r**... that everyone wondered what was doing there. In the final round of the competition, the contestants were given a word and had to come up with a poem in thirty seconds. During the very last round, the contestants stood at the podium and were given the word; Timbuktu.
The shoo-in went first. He thought for thirty seconds, then stepped up to the microphone and said:
"Across the desert, wind and sand,
Trekked the lonely caravan.
Men and camels, two by two,
Destination; Timbuktu."
The audience erupted with applause. When it died down, the r**... grinned and stepped to the microphone and without missing a beat he recited:
"Tim and me a-huntin' went.
Found three w**... in a popped-up tent.
Them was three and us was two,
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two."
Poetry Contest
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started, he jumped up and recited the following poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.
The audience went wild!! How, they wondered could the red neck top that?! The clock started again and the red neck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three w**... in a pop-up tent.
They were three, we was two,
So, I bucked one and Timbuktu.
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