The Best 19 Podium Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Podium jokes. There are some podium tentatively jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these podium dais puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Podium Jokes and Puns
I can't believe how everybody's freaking out over that guy stealing Nancy Pelosi's podium.
He was clearly just taking a political stand.
A Jew walks into a church to see what it's all about
Before the pastor begins his sermon he exclaims: "Jews are not welcomed in this church! All Jews must leave immediately".
The Jew gets up, walks to the podium on which is standing a magnificent statue of Jesus, picks it up and says: "come on Yossle we are not welcomed here"
..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american"
Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland*
he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*
If laziness was an Olympic sport.
I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
An airline employee makes the final boarding call for a flight.
After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.
"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"
"Oh, this isn't my flight," the man says. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm vegan."
The guy who took Pelosi's podium faces trial next week
But he won't be taking the stand
A close friend recently died, and at the funeral I asked if I could say a word
The family agreed and as I stood as the podium, I exhaled, "Bargain".
Teary eyed the family thanked me, they knew it meant a great deal.
A man walks up to a widow at her husband's funeral
"Would you mind if I said a word about your husband?"
She nods, so he walks up to the podium and says "Plethora".
Returns to the widow and she hugs him and says, "Thank you, that means a lot."
A woman was sitting front row at her husbands funeral
A man walks up and says mind if I say a word?
She responds yes.
The man walks up to the podium and says Plethora
As he's walking back down the aisle, the woman stops him and says thanks, that means a lot
I'm horrible at funerals.
Whenever I'm at funerals for some reason no one ever likes my speeches. You see, when i go up to the podium speak about the deceased, i like to compliment their intelligence. "He knew too much" is what i usually say. Not sure why people give me the funny looks there, and I'm usually kicked out when i add, "it's a shame he had to die".
A man was at his friend's funeral and asked the wife if he could say a word.
She agreed. The man stood at the podium and said, "Plethora." As he sat back down the wife said, "Thanks, that means a lot."
You can explore podium eulogy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean podium magistrate dad jokes. There are also podium puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If laziness were an olympic discipline...
... I'd want to finish 4th so I wouldn't have to climb the medals podium...
The spokesperson for the National organisation against impotence got up to the podium...
...And proclaimed "This will not stand!"
What do you call a podium that crossed the alps?
A Hannibal Lectern
The most important element of public speaking?
Podium
Which element is the top three?
Podium
Prime Minister Shinzo Abe gives an opening speech at the Tokyo Olympics.
He walks up to the microphone. "O!" he says, which is followed by applause.
"O!" he says again, as an ovation.
"O!" he says again, and the audience stands up and cheers. Suddenly, an aide runs up to the podium.
"Prime Minister Abe," the aide whispers, "those are the Olympic logo rings, you don't need to read all of them!"
The speaker at the podium was talking about preserving pure blood lines and AK-"something or other."
Not sure if it was a dog show or a KKK recruiting rally.
Jesus Spoke to his Followers
Jesus spoke to his followers from atop a podium.
"Come forth, and win eternal life!"
John came 5th and won a toaster.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the podium hymns jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working podium platform piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.