Pocket Knife Jokes
12 pocket knife jokes and hilarious pocket knife puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pocket knife that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pocket Knife Short Jokes
Short pocket knife jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pocket knife humour may include short pocket jokes also.
- Today I donated a laptop, a smartphone and $500 to a poor guy. Can't express the happiness I got when I saw him putting the knife back in his pocket
- I just gave a homeless guy 530 dollars and my new iPhone x He was so happy he even put his knife back in his pocket
- I donated my watch to a homeless person today. I was so happy when he put his knife back in his pocket.
- Today, I donated a my watch, phone and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't know how happy he looked as he put his knife back in his pocket.
- Did you hear about the pocket knife that fell in love with a sharpening stone? They're lawfully whetted now.
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Pocket Knife One Liners
Which pocket knife one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pocket knife? I can suggest the ones about sharp knife and butter knife.
- Is that a Ginsu knife in your pocket... ...or are you just happy to sashimi?
Pocket Knife Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about pocket knife you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pocket watch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pocket knife pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is on trial for m**....
The judge asks him to give his version of the story, and how he pleads.
The defendant replies: "Innocent, your honor. I am not sure what exactly happened myself, I was sitting on a park bench, enjoying the nice weather, peeling an apple with my pocket knife, when suddenly this guy trips on the apple peel and falls right on top of my knife."
The judge inquires: " And all this happened 16 times?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man came home early from work one day and found his next-door neighbor in bed with his wife.
Quickly pulling a gun, he marched the n**... fellow into the garage where he tightly secured the neighbor's private parts in the vise on the workbench.
Still holding the gun to the man's head, he bent the handle of the vise with a crowbar. Putting the gun in his pocket, he then took out a very large hunting knife.
"Hey," yelled the neighbor in panic, "you're not gonna cut it off, are ya?"
"No," said the husband as he placed the knife on the workbench, "you are. I'm torching the garage."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Dark] Some bloke poses a riddle: "How can you kill thousands of people with a pocket knife without shedding any blood?"
Other bloke: "Hey didn't you say you worked in intensive care?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a visitor to georgia saw a vicious dog attack a toddler
He took out his pocket knife, ran over, and stabbed the dog to death.
The mother of the toddler said
"now look here, you have saved my boy.
I happen to be a newspaper reporter, and in this week's newspaper I will personally make the headline:"
BRAVE LOCAL MAN SAVES CHILD BY KILLING BEAST
"that's great," said the man: "but I'm not from this town".
the reporter said "In that case, the headline will be:"
GEORGIA MAN SAVES CHILD BY KILLING DOG
"but I'm not actually from Georgia," the man said. "I'm from Vermont."
"oh". the reporter scowled
"the headline's gonna be:"
YANKEE BUTCHERS FAMILY PET
A monk was walking home one night...
A monk was walking home one night, and to get home, he has to walk down a dark alleyway. He walks down the alleyway, and out of the shadows comes a hooded man, the man draws a knife on the monk. He says "Empty your pockets, give me everything". The monk looks at the man, and the proceeds to pull a gun from underneath his robes and then point the gun at his attacker. The attacker says "What?!? Why do you have a gun?!? I thought monks were about inner peace". The monk replies "Yes, this is my inner piece".