Pneumonia Jokes

24 pneumonia jokes and hilarious pneumonia puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pneumonia that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Pneumonia Short Jokes

Short pneumonia jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pneumonia humour may include short lungs jokes also.

  1. Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft.
  2. Have you heard that China's panda project is disastrously failing? All of the pandas are dying of pneumonia.
    It's causing pandaneumonium.
  3. My captain asked what the hardest word starting with N was. I said "pneumococcal pneumonia"
    Turns out the answer he wanted was "nothing at all"
  4. How do you save an anti-vaxxer from drowning? Take them to the hospital, it sounds like Pneumonia.
  5. Some people say Glenn Frey got pneumonia from the cold... But that can't be true because he said the Heat is On.
  6. Pneumonia was found dead In other news, pneumonia was found dead with 2 bullets in the back of his head, the police are ruling it a s**....

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Pneumonia One Liners

Which pneumonia one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pneumonia? I can suggest the ones about swine flu and asthma.

  1. Whats the sickest piece of art? Pneumonia Lisa
  2. What's Hillary Clinton's favorite work of art? Pneumonia Lisa
  3. Why can't you hear a pneumonia patient urinating? Because 'P' is silent!
  4. What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Pneumonia
  5. Have you heard of Pneumonia? It is Dead Lee
  6. Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying? Pneumonia.
  7. A student with pneumonia had to stay home She was... too cool for school
  8. Kid Cudi has pneumococcal pneumonia Or as he calls it, that pneu pneu.
  9. How did Cinderella's evil twin lose her slipper? She came down with a case of pneumonia
  10. I hear Stan Lee has pneumonia.... I guess soon we'll have to call him Stan Leeave

Pneumonia joke, I hear Stan Lee has pneumonia....

Uproarious Pneumonia Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about pneumonia you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plague jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pneumonia pranks.

Toughest time of my Life

I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis... I don't know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I've ever had.

A man has been seeing the same doctor for yeats for the same symptoms with no results.

Finally one day the doctor says, "Okay, here's what I want you to do. I want you to take the longest, hottest bath you can stand, then I want you to open all the doors and windows in the house."
The man says "But doctor, I'll get pneumonia, won't I?"
And the doctor says "Yes, but I know how to treat that!"

A lady goes to a doctor...

"Doc, I have high fever. Can you give some medications?"
"Just walk in the rain, eat some ice-cream, drink cold-water..."
"What! Will my fever go away then?"
"No, you'll catch Pneumonia. I have the medication for it."

Pneumonia joke, Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying?