Pneumonia Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Whats the sickest piece of art?

Pneumonia Lisa

What's Hillary Clinton's favorite work of art?

Pneumonia Lisa

Why can't you hear a pneumonia patient urinating?

Because 'P' is silent!

My daughter was diagnosed with a pneumonia

I'm not sure where else to post this. This sub feels most fitting, but it's been a long night. Please advise where it may be better suited if you'd like.

So our night sucked but had a silver lining in my two year old daughter's comedic timing. We had to rush her to the ER at 3:00am (vomiting and a 104.3 F temp). Turns out she has a pneumonia but we caught it early so we can treat it at home. So we are driving home and she's talking a little and she said temperature hurt because they had to do it rectally. I say yeah mommy doesn't like it when things go up there unexpectedly either. My daughter says Daddy likes. We pulled the car over and had a real good laugh.

A lady goes to a doctor...

"Doc, I have high fever. Can you give some medications?"

"Just walk in the rain, eat some ice-cream, drink cold-water..."

"What! Will my fever go away then?"

"No, you'll catch Pneumonia. I have the medication for it."

Have you heard that China's panda project is disastrously failing?

All of the pandas are dying of pneumonia.
It's causing pandaneumonium.

Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show

There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft.

What's blue and fucks grannies


Pneumonia was found dead

In other news, pneumonia was found dead with 2 bullets in the back of his head, the police are ruling it a suicide.

My captain asked what the hardest word starting with N was.

I said "pneumococcal pneumonia"
Turns out the answer he wanted was "nothing at all"

It was a heavy winter during Stalin...

It was a heavy winter during Stalin's reign over the Soviet Russia. A married woman went to the city prison to visit her arrested husband and found out that he had been convicted and transferred to a Siberian Gulag and died during the trip.
"How did he die?" she asked.
"Pneumonia" came the answer.
"How? When? Where?"
"It was during the transit. He attempted to escape, jumped out the train and ran away. We weren't able to catch him alive."
"So, how did he die and how do you know he had pneumonia?"
"Well... He was running and got heated, outside was freezing, the bullet was cold..."

What are the funniest pneumonia jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Pneumonia? Well, here are the best Pneumonia puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Pneumonia pick up lines to share with friends.


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