Pluto Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,

Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.

Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto walk into a bar.

After sitting down, Jupiter says: "I'm the biggest planet, give me the biggest beer you have."

Saturn says: "I'm the best looking planet, give me the fanciest drink you have."

Pluto says: "I know I'm not a planet, but give me a shot."

Dear NASA,

I was big enough for your mom.

- Pluto

Jupiter heard from Neptune that Pluto was pregnant.

Jupiter said to Pluto "Congratulations! I was surprised to hear that you're expecting!"

To which Pluto replied "Thanks. Yeah, I definitely didn't planet!"

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.

From the time it was discovered to the time it was declassified as a planet, pluto did not make a full revolution around the sun.

It was a tough year.

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?

Because he's not a planet.

Why did Pluto miss the solar system party.

He didn't planet right

Have you heard what scientists are saying about Pluto?

Apparently he's too small to be a dog.

Who got only one visitor his entire life, got banished from the family and still lurks around with hope?


Uranus, Earth, and Pluto decide to throw a party.

Earth: so how are we going to do this?

Pluto: don't ask me. I don't know how to Plan-et.

Pluto, king of the Underworld, may be terrifying, but deep down he's just depressed.

He's trying to cope with it, but Charon took the kids.

God wants to take a vacation

But he has no idea where to go. His archangel, Michael, is helping him decide.

"How about Pluto?" He asks

"Nah, it's too cold there."

"Well, what about Saturn?"

"Nah, not a fan of the rings."

"Well then how about Earth?"

"Are you kidding me? I vacationed there 2,000 years ago, accidentally knocked this chick up, and they're still talking about it!"

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto.

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

He wanted to find Pluto!

Pluto wanted to throw Earth a birthday party on New Year's Eve

But he forgot to planet

Earth went around the solar system asking the other planets for a stick of gum.

They all refused, but Earth still got one; Pluto shares its Orbit.

The Planets

71% water + 29% land = Earth

100% land + 0% Chocolate = Mars

100% land + 0% Fertility = Venus

100% land and lava + 0% Freddy = Mercury

100% land + 0% Dog = Pluto

100% gas = Uranus

A planet is a celestial body that is in orbit around a star, has sufficient gravity to make itself round and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

That's why Pluto isn't a planet but your mum is.

My wife said I'm just like Pluto

I have a very cold heart

Why was Pluto a mistake?

Because god didn't planet

Pluto's Orbit

Did you know that Pluto's orbit around the sun is so large that it didn't even complete a single Pluto year between the time we found it and declassified it as a planet? It takes 248 earth years for 1 Pluto year. Isn't that horrible? Put it this way. We named a planet after a cartoon dog, and before it even turned one in its doggy years, we put it down. Isn't that horrible?

Why couldn't pluto have a space party

He couldn't plan-it

Scientists had already discovered a ninth planet 5000 times the size of Pluto years ago

Your Mum

Pluto is 4.5 billion years old, but yet it is not allowed to sit at the grown-ups' table.


Its Self Ex-Planetary

Why is Mickeys dog named Pluto?

Because hes not a planet.

When someone replies late...

If NASA can find a way to send an image of Pluto using that Hubble Space Telescope from 4.67 billion miles then why can't you message me?

Do you know why NASA is just now having a party to celebrate the mission to Pluto?

Because it took a long time to planet.

I was catfished once

For thirty years Pluto had me convinced he was a planet...

New Horizons probe discovers trees on Pluto!

Reporters asked "how can you tell?"

And NASA said "from the bark, you dummies!"

Pluto is not a planet

He's a dyslexic god

What are the funniest pluto jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Pluto? Well, here are the best Pluto puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Pluto pick up lines to share with friends.

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