The Best 46 Plumb Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Plumb jokes. There are some plumb depths jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these plumb drill puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Plumb Jokes and Puns

Plumbers are a lot like hookers...

They'll unclog your pipes, but it's gonna cost ya.

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

Why don't plumbers like to work on instant hot water heaters?

It's a tankless job!

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.


What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

Plumber ditches wife

Plumber Ditches his wife.
"Its Over-Flo"

Plumb joke, Plumber ditches wife

I used to do plumbing work but I'm all dried up

So I do pruning now

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

A plumber rings the doorbell

"Come in", says the homeowner, Stacy.

"Hi, I am the plumber, sorry for being a bit late"

"That's fine, my sister must have called for you"

"Alright. So where's that disgusting clogged up mess?"

"Her name actually is Rita, and she's not home at the moment".

Why did the plumber kill himself?

He was sewericidal.

You can explore plumb perpendicular reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean plumb sink dad jokes. There are also plumb puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My plumber insists on personally using every toilet he just installed.

His mission is to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Sorry Gene. We still love you.

There once was a plumber named Leigh

Who was plumbing his girl by the sea

She said, "stop your plumbing," "I hear someone coming!"

Said the plumber, still plumbing

"...it's me."

Why did the plumber stop installing water heaters

Because it became a tankless job

A plumber walks into a client's backyard and sees three water holes in the ground. He says:

"Well, well, well..."

My father is a carpenter, and he was telling me about the new, state-of-the-art plumb bob that was just released...

It really is next-level.

Plumb joke, My father is a carpenter, and he was telling me about the new, state-of-the-art plumb bob that was j

What do plumbers, Pizza Delivery guys and teachers all have in common?

Ron Jeremy

A plumber fixes a damaged pipe in a doctor's house and asks for 200 dollars. Doctor says to him: "Even i, don't make so much money in such a short period and i'm a doctor".

And the plumber goes: "I know sir. I used to be a doctor myself"

The plumber found a blunt in my faucet today.

No wonder my water bills are so high.


What do you call a fruit farmer with a level head?

Plumb Bob

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both love a tight seal.

How can you tell that plumbers are drug addicts?

They're always cracked out

The plumber was so generous with his time I asked how long he could stay to fix that other problem I had with the sink and he said …

I'm at your disposal

A plumber had to attend to the house of a gender fluid person.

Apparently "handling her pipes" wasn't the best course of action.

What did the plumber say to the housewife?

"That'll be 20 bucks"

What's a plumbers dream?

To work on Farrah's Fawcett and Olivia Newton's John.

Plumb joke, What's a plumbers dream?

A plumber has a one night stand.

He screws, nuts, and bolts.

If your plumber says my pleasure , don't hire him again.

What do a plumber and a chronic masturbater have in common?

They both come for a fix.


How does a plumber get in to his computer?

He remembers his password and taps it in

I once had a temp job at a prune processing plant

It was a plumb assignment

Before i became a plumber is was a CliniClown...

I only did the self-mutitation center, that was the only place i was accepted.

A plumber

is fixing some water pipes in the kitchen when suddenly the housewife comes in.
-Beware of my husband, he is gonna be home in an hour!
The plumber make eye contact with the lady in the kitchen door and asks.
-Why, I have done nothing inappropriate?
She quickly replies.
-That's why I'm telling you we still have an hour!

How did the plumber die?

He committed sewercide


A plumber told me an interesting thing, the best call he ever went to was when some kid had dropped a pear down the toilet.

He said it was the easiest call he'd ever been to, all he had to do was flush the toilet, and it cleared the block.

Because a flush beats a pear every time.

What does a plumber do when he's sad?

He turns on the waterworks

Why did the plumber get arrested?

Plumbers crack.

A plumber wakes up and goes to the bathroom

After doing his business he stands up, turns around, and says "See ya at work!"

What's a carpenter's favorite dessert flavor?

Plumb Jamb

As the plumber left my house I saw something fall out of his back packet. I walked over and saw that it was a bag of drugs.

But I didn't bend down to get it, because I didn't want plumber's crack.

Plumber Miscommunication

One day, a family started hearing loud talking coming from underneath the ground in their backyard. They figured maybe the plumber who did some work yesterday left a radio down there.

They sat and listened to the talking, then realized it was mostly about climate change and UFO's.

They called the plumber to ask about his missing radio.

Radio? I didn't bring a radio. Oh, I see the problem. I installed a skeptic tank instead of a septic tank.

A plumber is working on draining a septic tank when he falls in the poop and is drowned when the pipe sucks him under. At his funeral, the minister stands up and says:

We are gathered here today to remember our friend, the plumber, >!who was killed in the line of doody.!<

What do plumbers and economists have in common?

They both deal with gross domestic product.

Why don't the plumbers ever get wealthy?

Because all they have are pipe dreams.

Plumbing is like poker

Plumbing is like poker.

You can't have a full house and a straight flush.

Why are plumbers bad a poker?

Because they think a flush beats a full house!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the plumb investigations jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working plumb gutter piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes