Plum Jokes
43 plum jokes and hilarious plum puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about plum that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Look no further than this collection of puns and jokes based around the sweet fruit of the plum tree! From jokes about plum pudding to puns about an orchard full of melanin-rich plums, and even a handful of currant-themed jokes, you'll be sure to have a funny time.
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Funniest Plum Short Jokes
Short plum jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The plum humour may include short plunger jokes also.
- Plum trees are so easy to take care of. I don't do anything and once a year it prunes itself.
- I have a dream of opening a business that sells purple pitted fruit as well as offering home water service repair I'll call it Plum and Plumber
- What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple. Except for the plum.
- A guy walks into a bar carrying a plum and orders a beer. "Why do you have a plum?" the bartender asks. "I couldn't find a date," the guy replies.
- Fruit Basket Stephen King and Richard Bachman are sharing a fruit basket. Which one noms de plum?
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Plum One Liners
Which plum one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with plum? I can suggest the ones about plaice and peach.
- I had a date last night It was great. Tomorrow night I'll eat a plum instead
- What's similar between an elephant and a plum? They're both grey except for the plum.
- What do you call an old man selling plums? An entrepruner.
- how do you make a fruit farmer scream? pinch his plums
- What's worse than finding a worm in a plum? Half a worm
- What do you call a man with a plum on his head? A plumber
- How is a rabbit like a plum?
They re both purple, except for the rabbit. - What is Batman's favorite fruit? BA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA plums!
- What do you call a plum in a pickle? A damson in distress!
- a peacock went to a colorful event showcasing plums.. it was a global event.
- What did the romans call a ridge in a plum Lead
Great Plum Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about plum you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plank jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make plum pranks.
A plumber fixes a damaged pipe in a doctor's house and asks for 200 dollars. Doctor says to him: "Even i, don't make so much money in such a short period and i'm a doctor".
And the plumber goes: "I know sir. I used to be a doctor myself"
I asked a plumber what time it was
He told me it was between 8 AM and 4 PM.
A plumber rings the doorbell
"Come in", says the homeowner, Stacy.
"Hi, I am the plumber, sorry for being a bit late"
"That's fine, my sister must have called for you"
"Alright. So where's that disgusting clogged up mess?"
"Her name actually is Rita, and she's not home at the moment".
There once was a plumber named Leigh
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea
She said, "stop your plumbing," "I hear someone coming!"
Said the plumber, still plumbing
"...it's me."
How is plumbing like poker?
How is plumbing like poker?
You can't have a full house and a straight flush at the same time.
The plumber found a blunt in my faucet today.
No wonder my water bills are so high.
A plumber told me an interesting thing, the best call he ever went to was when some kid had dropped a pear down the toilet.
He said it was the easiest call he'd ever been to, all he had to do was flush the toilet, and it cleared the block.
Because a flush beats a pear every time.
What do plumbers and economists have in common?
They both deal with g**... domestic product.
As the plumber left my house I saw something fall out of his back packet. I walked over and saw that it was a bag of drugs.
But I didn't bend down to get it, because I didn't want plumber's crack.
Why are Plumbers always so tired?
Because their job is draining.
Plumber Miscommunication
One day, a family started hearing loud talking coming from underneath the ground in their backyard. They figured maybe the plumber who did some work yesterday left a radio down there.
They sat and listened to the talking, then realized it was mostly about climate change and UFO's.
They called the plumber to ask about his missing radio.
Radio? I didn't bring a radio. Oh, I see the problem. I installed a skeptic tank instead of a septic tank.
A plumber wakes up and goes to the bathroom
After doing his business he stands up, turns around, and says "See ya at work!"
A plumber
is fixing some water pipes in the kitchen when suddenly the housewife comes in.
-Beware of my husband, he is gonna be home in an hour!
The plumber make eye contact with the lady in the kitchen door and asks.
-Why, I have done nothing inappropriate?
She quickly replies.
-That's why I'm telling you we still have an hour!
Why don't the plumbers ever get wealthy?
Because all they have are pipe dreams.
Why did the plumber get arrested?
Plumbers crack.
Plumbing is like poker
Plumbing is like poker.
You can't have a full house and a straight flush.
My plumber insists on personally using every toilet he just installed.
His mission is to boldly go where no one has gone before.
Sorry Gene. We still love you.
Why are plumbers bad a poker?
Because they think a flush beats a full house!
A plumber is working on draining a septic tank when he falls in the p**... and is drowned when the pipe s**... him under. At his f**..., the minister stands up and says:
We are gathered here today to remember our friend, the plumber, >!who was killed in the line of doody.!<
How did the plumber die?
He committed sewercide
Why don't plumbers like to work on instant hot water heaters?
It's a tankless job!
Plumbers are a lot like h**......
They'll unclog your pipes, but it's gonna cost ya.
If your plumber says my pleasure , don't hire him again.
The plumber was so generous with his time I asked how long he could stay to fix that other problem I had with the sink and he said …
I'm at your disposal
What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?
They both love a tight seal.
Why did the plumber kill himself?
He was sewericidal.
I used to do plumbing work but I'm all dried up
So I do pruning now
What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?
A nice tight seal
What does a plumber do when he's sad?
He turns on the waterworks
