Plug Jokes
110 plug jokes and hilarious plug puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about plug that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Spark up the conversation with funny plug jokes. Learn the punchlines to jokes about electric plugs and pulling the plug, or find out why ear plugs are so funny. Plug in to humor about USBs and plug sockets and discover the upside of faulty technology.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Plug Short Jokes
Short plug jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The plug humour may include short clip jokes also.
- What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common? If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.
- I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday... But my wife wouldn't let me plug it in.
- As a plumber's assistant, I'm always being ordered around... "Stop that dripping, plug that leak, for God's sake... turn off the water works!" It's not my fault, I'm just an emotional guy.
- They Just Released Stephen Hawking's Last Words "1 percent battery life remaining. Please find nearest charger and plug in device"
- As soon as I plugged in my laptop, all my files became unreadable. I guess power corrupts.
- I hate watching Showtime because they are always showing commercials for their own shows. It's just Shameless plug after Shameless plug.
- Man thinks he has all the power... ...but the power comes from the socket, not from the plug.
- Have you heard of the new titanic app? I was excited to use it, but as soon as I plugged it into my computer it started syncing!
- My professor. No one laughed. - How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock? She waits until midnight and plugs it back in.
Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it. - I just got in an argument with my grandpa about who's generation relies on electronics more So, I pulled the plug on him. Guess I won that argument
Share These Plug Jokes With Friends
Plug One Liners
Which plug one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with plug? I can suggest the ones about paste and lamp.
- If I'm ever on life support, unplug me... Then plug me back in, see if that works.
- What is the worst response to "I love you"? "I'm still pulling the plug Grandma"
- I renamed my iPod The Titanic When I plug it in, it says "The Titanic is syncing".
- My boss asked me to fix the plug on his lamp... I simply refused.
- A spark plug walks into a bar And the bartender says " don't you go starting anything"
- I bought my ex-girlfriend a new chair... ...but the state won't let me plug it in.
- Today I aggressively plugged in my phone Needless to say, it got turned on.
- What do you call a square peg that wonders if it could plug a round hole? Pi-curious.
- Why is space cold? There is no where to plug in the space heaters.
- My wife complained that long baths feel draining So I got her a plug.
- I shouldn't have plugged my iPhone into the PC at the Kitchen It's now in the sync.
- I like my women like I like my plug sockets Turned on and me forking them
- Why aren't British electrical plugs allowed to do anything? They are always grounded.
- Where do plugs like to shop? The outlet mall.
- How can armpits stop smelling? If their noses are plugged
Pulling The Plug Jokes
Here is a list of funny pulling the plug jokes and even better pulling the plug puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between vegetation and vegetables? You don't have to pull the plug on vegetation.
- If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber! Just kidding; if you were a vegetable, I'd pull the plug.
- Why did the lumberjack pull the plug? He couldn't log off.
- Monty Python scheduled to sing National Anthem for NFL London game However, officials pulled the plug at the last minute when it was revealed the comedians would be taking a Ni.
- I had a friend... ... who wanted to do a project about youth in Asia. Unfortunately, the government pulled the plug on it.
- My grandpa told me to pull the plug for him... He said that devices such as T.V's use electricity whilst plugged in even when they are turned off, a phenomenon called Phantom Load .
- Why should doctors wear surgical masks when pulling the plug on Donald Trump? So no one can see their smiles.
- what do you do when someone enters a coma in the bathtub? Pull the plug
- How do you discipline bratty appliances? You pull out the plug.
- Today was a sad day - we had to pull the plug on my granpa cause I needed the outlet for my laptop
Electric Plug Jokes
Here is a list of funny electric plug jokes and even better electric plug puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the auntie who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster? She kept popping out of bed
- Did you hear about the guy who was assaulted with electrical plugs? His attackers used a two-prong strategy.
- An Englishman went into a hardware store and asked to buy a kitchen sink. Would you like one with a plug?' asked the assistant.....'Don't tell me they've gone electric,' said the Englishman.¤
- Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Plug Jokes
What funny jokes about plug you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pong jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make plug pranks.
A question for your doctor
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. " A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the director. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window or over near the heater?"
I just put my finger in a plug socket and got electrocuted...
It really Hertz.
In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?
Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....
Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger....
Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now if you would be so kind as to proceed to bed no.39
Asylum
A reporter is looking for a new story and thought an asylum for the insane would make a nice story. There, his first question is how they know who is sane and who's insane. "Well," the woman working there replied "We give everyone a teaspoon, a tablespoon and a bucket. Then we lead them to the bathroom and ask them to empty the bathtub as fast as they can". "Obviously, the sane people would use the bucket" the reporter says.
"No, the sane people would use the plug..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Club of People That Made Things That Plug Into Computers
There is a prestigious and hard-to-get-into club of people who invented things that plug into computers, like the USB, HDMI, ethernet and so on. This club meets regularly but then, after a few years, the inventor of the USB died. It was a very sad time, but they held a beautiful f**... service for him. The other club members served as pallbearers and lowered the coffin into the grave. Then, they lifted it up again, turned it 180 degrees...
During a visit to the mental hospital....
..a visitor asks the Director what criterion defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You think it's difficult to plug one nostril and blow out the other?
It's snot rocket science.
How do you plug a plow into a car stereo?
Through the ox input.
A husband and wife...
Were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.
To all people. You don't have to live in the dark anymore. You too...
Can buy a lamp and plug it in.
TIL that if you plug your amp into a 12" instead of your 8", you get fireworks.
Whoops. Wrong sub.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust...
I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party.
Just another day in math class
Teacher - what is 0.1 as a fraction
Student - 1/10th
Teacher - good, now what does 10% mean?
Student - low battery plug in your phone
Wife asked me to fix a plug for her this morning...
I refused.
The right to die
A man and his wife are sitting in the living room, and he says to her: "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.
How to fix America?
Unplug the power cord wait 10 seconds, plug it back again. See if it works.
Everything updates these days...
PC - updating.
TV - updating.
Tablet - updating.
Phone - updating.
I am afraid to plug in the iron.
My phone charger has been exposing its inner wires to promote its agenda.
It's a shameless plug.
What is Free Energy?
Free energy is when you plug into your neighbour's energy supply.
What do you call a guy who sells counterfeit Beats?
The headphone plug!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know they were making dual-sided USB?
Now it'll only take **6** tries to plug it in.
A loaf of bread, a toaster and a bath plug are in a shopping cart...
Maybe not. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
A man rubs a bottle and a genie comes out,
The genie says to the man, "I will grant you one wish however, it must be within reason" The man thinks for a second and says "I want a dragon!" the genie replies "Are you mad? I said within reason!" Again the man thinks and finally speaks. "I wish for the ability to plug a USB cable in right every time." The genie thinks, then says,
What color do you want your dragon?
I often wonder why we plug our earbuds into a "headphone jack"...
...when it should have been called a "headphone jill".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Men vacuum the same way they have s**...
They just put the plug in, make noises for 3 minutes, then collapses on the couch and thinks that the wife should only be delighted.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do I want to drown Rich the Kid?
So I can hear the sounds of "plug, plug, plug, pluug."
A man goes to an asylum and asks
How do you admit your patients? The psychiatrist says Well, we fill a bathtub full of water then give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket then we tell them to empty the bathtub . The man replies I see, so the sane person would take the bucket , and the psychiatrist replies No, the sane person will pull the drain plug. Would you like your room to have a balcony sir?
My family is putting an electrical plug in our elm tree.
They were going to put it in the bushes, but I convinced them that a tree-prong outlet would be better for the ground.
---------
"Tree-prong outlet" stolen from an engineer I was talking to today, but joke format is all mine.
How do you get your grandparents to stop saying your life depends on technology?
Reply, No, u. as you reach for the plug.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you cover for protection, plug up the rear, and finger all day?
Your phone lol (sorry really high)
Did you hear about the new store where you can plug in robotic limbs?
It's great even though they charge an arm and a leg.
If something doesn't work, unplug it and plug it back in, it fixes it every time.
Except for Grandma.
I don't know why people complain about USB cables being hard to plug
I always plug them on my 2nd try
Mobile-Update
Tablet-Update
Laptop-Update
Tv-update
Gaming console- Update
Somehow I'm afraid to plug in the iron.
I just plugged in my phone to charge...
and now my grans heart rate monitor wont shut up with this long beep and its driving me nuts!
How do you know if you're a plug?
If you don't leak.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a plug weigh?
w**...
A brain and a spark plug walk into a bar...
The brain walks up to the bar and says:
" can i have a beer for my friend and I?"
The barman looks at the brain and goes back to polishing his glass.
The brain tries again: "Can I have a beer please?!?"
"No, not for you. Not today guys." The barman says, not looking up from his task.
"Well, why not?!?" The brain asks, now quite perplexed.
"Well" the barman pauses... "you look like you're out of your head. And your mate, he looks like he's just about to start something."
*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Having s**... isn't as hard as you might think.
It's just plug and play.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man joins the mob and becomes the personal assistant to the Godfather
One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."
The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.
But a short while later, he receives another message. "s**... autocorrect. I meant wifi."
The girlfriend ask her boyfriend.
What will happen if i pulled the plug when you are in the middle of your game.
The boyfriend replied.
I will treasure the time with you, deepen our relationship, so that one day we can get married. Have 1 or 2 kids in our happy family and grow old together. And when we are too old, we will stay in the same hospital room side by side with our life support on. I will walk over to your bed and tell you this "Remember that time when you pull the plug in the middle of my game? Now is my turn."
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. Well said the director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
Oh, I understand, I said. A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup. No. said the director, A normal person would pull the plug, Do you want a bed near the window?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a b**... plug being utilized by a guy?
A manhole cover
Things you can say about your computer but not your partner
I'll start,
It takes me three tries to plug in my stick
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Found out my mechanic dealt w**... on the side,
now he's my spark plug.
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental institution, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
THE BATHTUB TEST: During a visit to my doctors I asked him . . .
"How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well" he said, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a tea cup and a bucket to the person and ask them to empty the bathtub"
"Oh, I understand" I said "Because a normal person would use the bucket as it's bigger then the spoon or the teacup"
"No" he said "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window or the door?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a mega church pastor and a crazed marine carrying a b**... plug covered in superglue?
One wants to heal your soul for money.
The other wants to seal your hole for Gunny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Ted Nugent and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug in the vacuum before it s**....
How to help your local politician qualify for a mental asylum
A politician is visiting the local mental asylum, and asks "How do you decide whether someone should be admitted here?"
"Well," says the director, "We fill up a bath with water, then give the patient a teaspoon, a mug, and a bucket, and ask them to empty the bath as quickly as possible."
"I see," says the politician, "and if he's got any sense he'll choose the bucket."
"No," says the director, "If he's got any sense he'll pull the plug out. Would you like a room with a view?"
