The Best 74 Plot Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Plot jokes. There are some plot movie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these plot trilogy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Plot Jokes and Puns

Guy walks into a funeral home

He tells the receptionist, my wife is dying, and i need to buy a gravesite.

Receptionist says, sure, no problem. Just fill out this paperwork and we'll get the process started.

Guy says, well you should know up front this might get complicated. See, my wife weighs 800 pounds.

Ah, the receptionist says. The plot thickens.

Have you heard about Marx's tomb?

They say it's a Communist plot

Two chemists walk into a bar.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first one says, "I'll have some H2O."

The second says, "I'll have some water too. But why'd you order it like that? We aren't at work."

The firstο»Ώ chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom.
His assassination plot had failed.

Plot joke, Two chemists walk into a bar.

"I own a small allotment...", So far I'm the only person I've heard laugh at this joke.

I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil in on top of in. I've absolutely no idea why.

The plot thickens.

I made up a joke today.

What's the worst thing about pornographic literature?

Too many holes in the plot.


I bought a vacant piece of land recently, and every night someone keeps depositing soil on the land. I still can't figure out who it is.

The plot thickens.

I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper.

But there was no plot.

Plot joke, I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper.

A lawyer and the pope die at the same time and go to heaven...

The pope is first and meets St. Peter at the gates to heaven. St. Peter says welcome to heaven and gives him a nice little plot of land with a decent sized house. The lawyer is next and St. Peter directs him to this huge mansion on the shore of a beautiful lake with anything the lawyer could want. The lawyer asks St. Peter "Why do I get this mansion with anything I could ask for and the holiest man on earth gets a small house?"
St. Peter replies by saying "We've got hundreds of popes up here, but you're the only lawyer!"

I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts.....

The plot was riveting!

I caught my neighbor putting a layer of topsoil on my allotment

The plot thickened

I just watched a movie about a y=x graph

The plot was a bit predictable

And a little flat

Good special f(x) though

You can explore plot scenes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean plot allotment dad jokes. There are also plot puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Potato Patch

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES! Love, Fred

At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Fred

I went to an allotment yesterday to find more soil there than the day before. Today, I went there again and found even more soil..

The plot thickens...

I found an plot of soil yesterday. I went back to the site today and found even more soil...

The plot thickens...

Got my mother in law a cemetery plot for Christmas once, and the next year didn't buy her anything. When she asked me why I didn't buy a gift for her I said.....

... because you still haven't used the one I got you last year.

I'm learning about imaginary numbers...

I can finally plot my sex life.

Plot joke, I'm learning about imaginary numbers...

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.

The plot thickens.

How to start a fight

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

Relaxing location

While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. You'll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them.

Dad wasn't sold: Unless you're including a periscope with my casket, I don't know how I'm going to enjoy it.


I'm reading a book about soil

The plot thickens

Some more dirt was mysteriously added to my garden last night...

The plot thickens

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

A Blonde Walks into a Library

A blonde walks into a library and slams a book on the desk.

She says, "This is the worst book I've ever read!! There's no plot and it has way too many characters!!"

The librarian says, "So that's what happened to our phonebook."

I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken. I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.

I'll leave now.

I saw six men carrying a coffin in the cemetery. Two hours later they were still carrying the coffin around the cemetery

I thought to myself "They've lost the plot"

I knew someone had added dirt to my garden.

And so, the plot thickens

The entire plot of spiderman

A teenage boy finds out he can shoot white stuff out his body

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.

After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

Wait, ladies, cried the professor, The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!

Two chemists walk into a bar

They walk up to the bartender and the first one says:

"I'll have a glass of H2O."

The other then says to his companion:

"Why don't you just say water? I understand that we're chemists an all that, but you don't need to walk around using random terms!"

The first chemist, frustrated, needs to rethink his assassination plot.

I was gonna write a story about Swiss cheese

But the plot had too many holes in it.

Did you see the movie about graphing?

It didn't have a good plot.

Day 20: Still lost at sea.

Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a compass protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy leg man

A poem I read to my gf while proposing

Roses are Red

Today is the Day

Plot Twist

I'm Gay

I made a movie about farm life…

…but the film quality was too grainy and the plot too corny…

I like to spoil the plot of Peter Pan for people.

Never gets old.

Some guys tried selling me a funeral plot.

I told him that would be the last thing I'd ever spend my money on.

I went to my allotment and found that there was twice as much soil as there was the week before.

The plot thickens...

I have a story for you. A guy pours cement all over a plot of land...

and then the plot thickens.

why aren't there any movies about swiss cheese?

because the plot has too many holes.

My life is like going to see a M. Night Shyamalan film....bizarre characters, lots of plot twists

and I want my money back.

I accused my wife of adding dirt to the garden. She denied it.

The plot thickens.

How do we know 9/11 wasn't a government plot?

Because it worked.

Two chemists walk into a restaurant after work

Two chemists walk into a restaurant after work, they sit down at there table and order drinks. The first chemist says, "I will have some H20", the second chemist says, "I will have a glass of water, and dude why are you referring to it so strangely, we aren't at work anymore."

The first chemist then goes into the bathroom and cries as his assassination plot has failed.

Proof that 9/11 wasn't a government plot:

It worked.

Some mystery person keeps adding soil to my garden.

The plot thickens.

When I die I want to be buried in wet concrete

So that over time the plot thickens

Plot Twist

A hotel receptionist gets a call*

Man: Hello, I'm in room 210, you need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she's saying that she's going to jump out of the window.

Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal problem. We cannnot help you with that.

Man: Listen you idiot. The window is not opening and that's a MAINTENANCE problem.

Dad on Deathbed

[Deathbed]

Dad: Don't put me in the wrong burial plot

Son: Dad stop it, I'm never turning this life support off!

Dad: because that would be...a grave mistake lol

Son: So is it this switch here or

(cr

For years, I've suspected my wife of adding soil to my garden and when I asked her about it, she just giggled and shrugged...

The plot thickens...

I saw a movie about a farmer who went out of business

The plot wasn't very good

What do you call it when a Cambodian dictator opens up a restaurant in his Cannabis plantation?

Pol Pot's Pot Plot Hot Pot.

I was really excited when I learned about imaginary numbers in my Algebra class.

Finally, I could plot my sex life.

I love spoiling the plot of The Picture of Dorian Gray

Never gets old

I was drawing a graph for my report expecting a straight line. But I got a curve.

What a plot twist

There's radical feminist plot to attack the postal service...

They heard it was a mail dominated industry..

( Possibility OC?)

I've been reading this farmer's autobiography and just got to the part where he expands his carrot farm.

The plot thickens.

I plotted a graph of my past mistakes

It has an ex-axis and a why-axis

This season of Earth is not realistic

So many plot holes. Like, where did the murder hornets go? Why introduce them if they're not important to the story?

I'm feeling Lost.

What do you call a plan to kill a bunch of crows that are hanging around on a gravestone?

A plot to murder a murder plot's murder.

Someone keeps adding soil to my garden!

The plot thickens

Someone's been secretly dumping top soil on my lawn...

The plot thickens...

I'm fully convinced that Stalin's grave...

...is just a Communist plot.

"hey manβ€” you buried my grandmother in the wrong plot"

I guess you could say *[stares muthafuckingly]*... I made a grave mistake.

Here is a story about what happens if you line a grave with concrete...

The plot thickens!

What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?

671 Hallmark movies.

Unused Christmas present.

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift,The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.


She asked me: Why,?

I replied. "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

As I suspected, someone had been secretly adding soil in my backyard garden

*The plot thickens....*

It's my cake day! Here is my favorite joke:

Someone's been adding soil to my garden...


...the plot thickens

I wrote a fiction book about sieves...

But the plot was full of holes

Did you hear about the new Bruce Willis movie?

Bruce Willis has to go undercover in a retirement home for nuns to stop a terrorist plot.

It's called "Old Habits Die Hard".

No present for your mother in law

At Christmas, a man just opened presents from his mother in law and she asks, "where's mine?"

He says, "I didn't get you anything this year."

Visibly upset, she asks why.

He says, "you never used what I got you last year."

She yells, " it was a burial plot!"

As I thought, someone has been adding soil to my garden.

The plot thickens....

I just read a novel that took place in the world's smallest graveyard

Honestly, it sucked. It didn't even have a plot.

Plot twist, Kylo Ren is not an only child

He's a Solo child

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the plot sharknado jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working plot conspiracies piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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