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Pleasuring Jokes

27 pleasuring jokes and hilarious pleasuring puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pleasuring that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Pleasuring Short Jokes

Short pleasuring jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pleasuring humour may include short pleasure jokes also.

  1. What is the most sensitive part of your body while pleasuring yourself? Your ear listening for foot steps.
  2. Hippies. Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'.
  3. YUK! A man walks in on his daughter pleasuring her-self with a cucumber.
    He yells at her: "Oh god, that's disgusting! I was going to eat that, and now it's gonna taste of cucumber"
  4. David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and orders a drink. It's a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, says the bartender.
    Just call me Hoff, he replied.
    Sure, said the bartender, No hassle.
  5. A man gets home and sees his wife pleasuring herself with a cucumber "What are you doing?" he shouts, "I have to eat that later, and I don't want it tasting like cucumber!"
  6. What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist. They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure.
  7. Son: Mom, why is my sister called Teresa? Mom: Because Teresa is an Anagram of Easter and we love Easter!
    Son: Oh I see. Thanks mom!
    Mom: My pleasure Alan.
  8. What's the difference between a cup and a mug? being cupped is far more pleasurable than being mugged
  9. A seal walks into a bar
    A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
    The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?"
    The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."
  10. The similarities between alcohol and girls... ... Both have the quality of giving pleasure at night and headache in the morning.

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Pleasuring One Liners

Which pleasuring one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pleasuring? I can suggest the ones about pleasing and making people happy.

  1. What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs Hawking.
  2. What do you call a cow pleasuring itself? Beef Strokinoff
  3. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?. A tearjerker
  4. It only takes 3.5 to pleasure a woman. It can be Visa, Master Card, or Amex.
  5. Recycling Adult Toys "One man's trash is another man's pleasure!"
  6. How does the karate Kid pleasure himself? Wax off
  7. "I find pleasure in the little things"... ...Said the pedofile to the court.
  8. I secretly love men from Scotland... It's my kilty pleasure.
  9. Hillary Clinton Style Condoms! *Rigged for her pleasure*
  10. How do you make a frog more pleasurable? Rib it
  11. Have you seen these frog-skin condoms? They're ribbet for her pleasure.
  12. How does a pornstar say good bye to a client? Nice business doing pleasure with you.
  13. What do you call an aquatic pleasure trip to Jerusalem? A cruiseade.
  14. Name a girl who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Steven Hawking's wife
  15. Don't talk to me about self pleasure. Its a very touchy subject.

Pleasuring joke, Don't talk to me about self pleasure.

Humorous Pleasuring Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about pleasuring you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pleased jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pleasuring pranks.

David Hasselhoff walked into a bar

and ordered a drink.
Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.
Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.

A Finnish joke from the Cold War

During the Cold War, a foreign journalist asked a Finnish general what Finland would do if the USSR and NATO would fight a war in Finland.
He replied first we would beat out NATO, and then the Soviets .
The journalist was surprised about the order and asked why.
We are civilized people. Work comes before pleasure , the general replied.

A German visits France and is stopped at immigration.

The French immigration agent asks, "Business or pleasure?"
The German replies, "Pleasure!"
The agent asks, "Occupation?"
The German replies, "Nein, Nein, just visiting!"

As the p**... finished her session, she said,

It was a business doing pleasure with you.

David Hasselhoff walks into a bar..

It's a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoff , said the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, if it's not too much trouble , he replied.
Sure , said the bartender, no hassle .

Welcome to Australia!

A British national travelling to Australia on holiday is stopped at customs after getting off the plane. There, the customs agent asks him, "business or pleasure?"
"Pleasure," he replies.
"Anything to declare?"
"Does jet lag count?" the Brit asks with a cheesy smile. The Aussie customs agent looks up, drearily, unamused.
"Do you have a criminal history?"
Suddenly, the British man becomes concerned, and looks around nervously.
"What's wrong?" the customs agent asks.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the brit replies. "No, I don't. I didn't realise we still needed one of those"

A man is asked to give a speech on r**......

He stands up and says "Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure..."
Then sat down.

Vegan girls never moan during s**...

Because they don't want to admit that a piece of meat gave them such pleasure.

Pleasuring joke, YUK!