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Pleasant Jokes

40 pleasant jokes and hilarious pleasant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pleasant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is all about finding the humor in everyday life. From skulduggery pleasant to a disagreeable cabin, it's filled with lovely jokes that will make you smile. Get ready for some pleasant surprise!

Funniest Pleasant Short Jokes

Short pleasant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pleasant humour may include short nice jokes also.

  1. There has been much said and sung about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters? The Tea of the tiger was quite a refreshing and pleasant event!
  2. I took a job aptitude test and it didn't make for pleasant reading I've no people or practical skills and am unable to use logic or reasoning.
    It recommended that I become an internet moderator.
  3. I paid a homeless man 2$ to give me a circumcision Not a pleasant experience... it was a rip-off
  4. To be stung by a mosquito is not very pleasant. But the thought that an insect with just 10 brain cells could mess up your entire night is something quite different.
  5. I love the smell of abandoned commercial manufacturing plants. I find it to be a pleasant old factory experience.
  6. i am StationEd at North korea to check the status of their leaDer. everyone HerE is so hostiLe and Pleasant.
  7. Chinese salesman I had a long talk with a Chinese man selling shoes the other day. It was a pleasant converse-asian.
  8. A Swedish exchange student asked me if he could do m**...' in my classroom after school As a maths teacher, I was pleasantly surprised by his willingness to learn.
  9. The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physicist while he c**... the last of his beer... The strange charm of a top down bottom's up

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Pleasant One Liners

Which pleasant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pleasant? I can suggest the ones about acceptable and enjoyable.

  1. I like being a pessimist I'm either right, or pleasantly surprised.
  2. I love being a pessimist. I'm either always right or pleasantly surprised.
  3. Why was the volcano so pleasant to be around? Because he was so magmanimous.
  4. How did the Hutterite find his sister in the woods? Very pleasant.
  5. What is the least pleasant state to live in? Missouri.
  6. I thought Surviving R Kelly was the name of his next album Boy was i pleasantly mistaken
  7. Which laptop has the most pleasant speakers? A Dell
  8. Being a pessimist is great I'm always either right or pleasantly surprised.
  9. Why was Genghis Kahn always so pleasant? Because he was a NoMad.
  10. Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
  11. How do you make an abortion a more pleasant experience? Use a candy cane
  12. My girlfriend and I had our first row yesterday... It was a pleasant day on the lake
  13. I s**... my crush the other day, it wasn't pleasant Soda cans are really sharp
  14. I just had s**... with a mute lady It was quiet pleasant.
  15. What do you get when you throw a dead baby off a cliff? A pleasant e**...

Pleasant joke, What do you get when you throw a dead baby off a cliff?

Hilarious Pleasant Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about pleasant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pleasing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pleasant pranks.

A man walks into a job interview...

He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.
"So son, where did you receive your education?"
The man replied "Yale".
The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"
The man replied "Yack Yackson".

A man's printer started printing more and more faintly, so he called a local repair shop.

A friendly young man informed him, Well, you could bring it in for a cleaning, but we charge $50 for that, so you might be better off just reading the manual and trying the job yourself.
Pleasantly surprised by this candor, the man said, Thanks, son. Does your boss know that you discourage business?
Actually, it was my boss's idea, said the young employee. He says that if we let people try to fix things themselves first, we end up making even more money!

An Englishman went on a business trip to Japan...

When he got there, he stayed in a nice hotel and decided to call a prostitution service. Not knowing a single word of Japanese, it was he struggled with the ordering process.
When the girl finally arrived, they stripped down and get down to business... They were having a blast and the girl kept screaming **"Machigatta ana, Machigatta ana..!!"** Deciding that it was a sign that the girl was pleasantly satisfied, he thought nothing of it and continued all night long.
The next morning, the Englishman went and have a round of golf with his Japanese business partner. His business partner swung first.... **BAM!** **Hole in one!**
"Nice shot my friend, machigatta ana..." said the Englishman
Looking puzzled, his business partner replied
"That shot was perfect... but what do you mean 'wrong hole'?"

Dementia

Three older men are undergoing a memory test at the doctor's office. The Doctor asks, "What is three times three?"
The first man answers, "274."
The second man answers, "Tuesday."
The third man answers, "Nine."
The doctor pleasantly surprised at the third man's correct response, inquires, "Great! How did you get that answer?"
"Simple. Just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

Bob is about to celebrate his 30th anniversary

Bob wants everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and his wife honeymooned 30 years earlier. So he gets there a day early to make all the arrangements. That night he emailed her, but misspelled the address, and it goes to a recent widow.
The next day, the widow's son finds Her passed out in front of her computer. On the screen is this email:
My darling wife, I've just gotten here and everything is set for your arrival tomorrow. I hope the trip down great will be as pleasant as mine.
P.S. It's really hot!

George and Mildred

It was a pleasant, sunny afternoon in the park, full of Sunday revelers. George and Mildred were sitting together on a park bench, feeding the ducks. Mildred turned to George and said: "You know George, we've been together 29 years now, don't you think its about time we were getting married?"
George stared reflectively into the distance and replied, "Aye, Lass, but who would have us?"

Seminar

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Jim and his wife listened to the instructor declare: It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. He addressed the men: For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower? Jim leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it? The rest of the story is not pleasant.

Kevin Bridges bus stop joke

I am a bus stop, ready on a bus, whilst a pleasant madman confirmed up.
He changed into throughout the road. He shouted “Hoi u, Hoi u,…, Ai u ”.
Now whilst u are at a bus stop, at midnight, and a person instigates a communication with
“Hoi u, Hoi u,…, Ai u ”,…, you type a,…,s**... yourself!
You try to preserve your head down. Then the fellow shouts: “Oi fats boy!”.
I’m status there, searching at the two different human beings on the bus stop. I’m looking to discern out their BMI!
But beside me had been those 2 thin pensioner types.
I wager this one’s for me!
And the fellow said: “Fat boy. Give me a quid,…,or you’re getting stabbed!”
And I thought,…,a quid ? That is,…,pretty reasonable! Panic over!
I mean, I’ve by no means been stabbed, however I can believe it being really inconvenient.
You’d be blanketed in blood, need to visit the hospital, and be b**... and emotionally traumatized.
And here,…,we’ve were given a gentleman,…,providing me the threat to skip this sort of horrendous ordeal,…,
In this contemporary economic climate,…, for a trifling pound!
Now I’m a s**... for a bargain!

A Confucianist, a Daoist and a Legalist walk into a bar...

and order a beer each. The Confucisanist smiles pleasantly at the beer and waits for it to reach his mouth of its own accord, the Daoist ignores his beer and the Legalist drinks all three beers shoots the Confusicanist.
This one was told to me by my Chinese History Prof years ago.

I met this girl Mary on tinder and took her to an all you can eat buffet I knew it wasn't going to work out when she told me she was a vegetarian so I decided to go down with guns blazing.

She came back with her salad to find me with my plate loaded up with every type of meat I could get my hands on.
I was shocked, though pleasantly surprised, when she asked for a bite of my kabab.
Mary had a little lamb.

Why Mayberry RFD was such a pleasant place

Just think of how idyllic and peaceful the whole community was.
What did the main characters all have in common? Sheriff Andy, Barney, Opie, Gomer, Floyd the barber, Helen, Clara Jean, Aunt Bea, Goober, Harold......they were all SINGLE.

The only married character was Otis, and he was drunk all the time!

Mental hospital

A nurse at a mental hospital checks in a room to find patient Bob pretending to drive a car.
- Bob, what are you doing?
Asked the nurse curiously.
- I'm on a road trip to Canada.
Bob replied.
The nurse wishes him a pleasant journey and proceeds to patient Gary's cell to find him m**....
- Heavens, Gary! What are you doing?!
Asked the nurse.
- I am having s**... with Bob's wife while he's in Canada.
Gary replied.

Pleasant joke, I thought Surviving R Kelly was the name of his next album