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Pleas Jokes

24 pleas jokes and hilarious pleas puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pleas that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Pleas Short Jokes

Short pleas jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pleas humour may include short pleads jokes also.

  1. #‎BREAKING‬ Oscar Pistorius has today made a plea for clemency ahead of his sentencing in April Mr Pistorius claims he is not the first bloke to come home legless and put a few loads into his missus.
  2. What's the best board game for someone that's experienced a great deal of desperation from the opposite gender? Men all plea
  3. My mum thinks I'm funny, but I just get all of my jokes from here, what should I do This is not a joke, it's a legitimate plea for help
  4. Lot of talking about the Gigafactory getting shut down Apparently, it's a plea deal on Elon Musk's battery charge
  5. A ballerina on trial went before the judge The judge asked if she was willing to take plea deal A or plea deal B.
    After much deliberation with her lawyer
    She said she'd like to plié
  6. I got charged with stealing from the Apple store. But I made a plea deal and got it reduced to scrumping.
  7. A man goes to court for public urination. The judge asks him, "How do you plea?"
    The man replies, "standing up, your honor."
  8. Did you hear about the guy on trial for m**... trying to get off with an insanity plea by pretending he's a fish? He was trying to be coy

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Pleas One Liners

Which pleas one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pleas? I can suggest the ones about begs and plead guilty.

  1. Pleas hold the Terrestrials I always hate when the add Extra.
  2. Why did the lizard fail to plea for manslaughter Because it was in cold blood
  3. What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas? I'm in a cent.
  4. People keep begging me to stop telling old fashioned jokes. Take my wife's pleas....
  5. What does a black lawyer deliver in court? n**...' pleas

Pleas joke, What does a black lawyer deliver in court?

Charming Humor Pleas Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about pleas you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean begged jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pleas pranks.

Two thieves break into a house. Once inside, they sneak into the master bedroom and tie up the n**... woman they find in there.

A startled, n**..., man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening and says, "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go."
The thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were. One of them says, "Wow, you must really love your wife in order to beg like that."
The man replies, "I do, and she will be home any minute!"

I'm pleased to announce Reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world!

The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content

I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet.

So far I've got twelve fridges.

A shrinking man rushes to the doctor's office.

The shrinking man skips ahead of everyone waiting and pleas "Doctor! Doctor! I need help, I'm shrinking!"
Then the doctor replies, "well then you'll just have to be a little patient."

There's no pleasing my wife sometimes.

She wanted help with the housework so I got my girlfriend to come round and she went mental.

I never had the pleasure of meeting you

Me: I never had the pleasure of meeting you ...
She: Come on, we've met thrice before.
Me: Yes, but I never had the pleasure.

For those who know nothing about pleasing a woman:

The g spot is located at the end of the word 'shopping'.

My wife's a pleaser

My wife loves to help others, even when someone doesn't appreciate her. I told her one evening she should quit trying to please everyone else all of the time. Her reply was, "But I wouldn't get anything else done if I'm just pleasing myself all the time." d**... I love that woman.

What is a sure way to pleasure 9 out of 10 people?

Gang r**....

How do you pleasure a capitalist?

An invisible h**....

They weren't pleased that I played I heavy metal song in the church

but I resolved it on Gsus

The pleasure is all mine...

The greeting of a greedy hedonist.

I'm really pleased to see a surge of interest in Information Technology.

Some of the most popular videos on YouTube right now are about IT!

No Pleasing Women

My girlfriend's cat died, so I got her one just like it. Now she's locked me out of the house and is yelling "What am I supposed to do with two dead cats?"

It's my pleasure to tell you what month it is...

May is International m**... Month!

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

I was actually pleased when my ex husband came into money..

He lost his job at the bank

Pleasing you girlfriend.

I asked a friend of mine what ways he pleases his girlfriend since I felt I was losing some spark in the bedroom. He told me, "Try waking her up with o**... s**...."
The next morning, I woke up early to see if it would work. She wasn't too amused. She screamed, "What are you doing!? Get that out of my mouth!"

Pleas joke, Pleasing you girlfriend.