The Best 25 Plead Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Plead jokes. There are some plead judge jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these plead court puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Plead Jokes and Puns

An accused criminal is brought before a judge...

The judge says, "You stand accused of stealing five million dollars' worth of gold bars. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty, your honour."

"Bail is set at five million dollars." The judge slams his gavel down.

"Do you accept payment in gold?"

Two men were lost in a desert...

Dehydrated and dying, the men see a mirage of hundreds and hundreds of tents up ahead. As they get closer, they realize it's not a mirage, but a huge market.

The men stagger into the marketplace, begging everyone around for water, but the first few tents sell only jelly.

Moving on into the market, the men beg and plead for water but the next tents only sell cake.

As the men move forward they're surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of tents selling icecream only, with no water in sight.

The men finally exit the cluster of tents still dehydrated, and dying.

The first man turns to the other and says, "Is it just me, or was that really odd?"

The other man replies, "Yeah. It WAS a trifle bazaar..."

"How many were there?"

A man and woman had been married for some time when the woman began to question her husband.

"I know you've been with a lot of women before," she said. "How many were there?"

The husband replied, "Look, I don't want to upset you, but there were more than a couple of women. Let's just leave it at that."

The wife continued to plead. Finally, her husband gave in.

"Let's see," he said. "There was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine..."

Plead joke, "How many were there?"

I got a speeding ticket last month and took it to court

Rudy Giuliani was my lawyer and plead me down to second degree murder

Please stop

A guy jumps a car on a bike and crashes hard. doctors amputate both his legs.Being the daredevil that he is he jumps his wheelchair over a bus and again crashes even harder. He's so messed up now the doctors have to do a full body amputation.His family plead with him to stop while he's ahead.


The world's most sarcastic man stands trial.

"How do you plead?" asks the judge.

"Well," says the man. "Usually on my knees with my hands together."

I could never be with anyone other than my wife.

No matter how much I plead.

Plead joke, I could never be with anyone other than my wife.

A Man was on trial for cannibalism

Judge:How do you plead

Man:your honor if the phrase you are what you eat applies then I am an innocent man

A serial killer plead guilty to homicide

after being asked by the judge why he would kill, the serial killer responded,

"It fills me with energy."

He was charged with murder.

The cross-eyed judge looked at the 3 defendants

How do you plead? he asked the first man. Not guilty, said the second. I wasn't talking to you, said the judge. I didn't say a word, said the third.

Judge: You stand before me accused of being a duvet. How do you plead?

Defendant: Not quilty.

You can explore plead prosecutor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean plead trial dad jokes. There are also plead puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If being spineless is a crime, sue me!

I think, I'll just plead guilty.

*On a serious note, I'll probably beg you to withdraw charges.*

Why did the picture plead innocent at the trial?

It was framed.

I pleaded to my doctor, I feel constepatid!! Chuckling, he replied, I think you mean constipated.

I said, No, I just had a vowel movement!"

Always plead idiocy, if you can provide evidence.

It's foolproof!

me: "I plead insanity, your honor."

judge: "its just a parking ticket"

Plead joke, me: "I plead insanity, your honor."

Canadian court...

Do you plead sorry or not sorry?

[In Court Room]

Judge: How does the defendant plead.

Lawyer: like this your honor 'makes whiny noise' \*noooo i didnt do any crimes\*

Judge: HAHAHA do it again

I recently contested a traffic violation in court.

I plead insanity.


A redneck is standing trial in front of a jury of English majors....

Judge says: "How do you plead?"

The man replies: "I didn't do nothin'!"

Jury walks out. Case closed.

Jared to plead guilty to charges.

Sorry wrong sub.

Did you hear about the guy who used 20% of his right not to incriminate himself?

He plead the Fifth!

Why did the train driver plead madness in court?

He had a loco motive.

Taylor Swift went to the doctor..

...And received some bad news.

"You have the beginning stages of Parkinson's." The doctor said with sorrow...

Holding back the tears, Ms. Swift plead, "What am I supposed to do? I have a huge musical career!"

The doctor responded, "Just Shake it Off.."

The list

A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband, "I know you've been with a lot of woman before. How many were there?" The husband replied, "Look, I don't want to upset you, there were many. Let's just leave it alone." The wife continued to beg and plead. Finally, the husband gave in. "Let's see." he said "There was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine... ."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the plead petition jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working plead beg piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes