The Best 60 Plays Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Plays jokes. There are some plays performances jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these plays school play puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Plays Jokes and Puns

A lawyer is about to enter a party..............

A lawyer is about to enter a party and decides to tell people that he's a doctor instead of a lawyer since people seem to think badly about lawyers and has always been attacked by lawyers jokes. After he's mingled for a little while, a guy comes up to him and tells him that there's another doctor there who works at the same hospital he does. To his surprise, this other doctor plays along and pretends to know him. After the party ends, the guy goes up to the doctor and says, Thanks for playing along. So, what does it feel like to be a real doctor? The man replies, I wouldn't know. I work for the IRS.

What do you call a cow that plays with itself?

Beef Stroganoff

I try to tell this joke in english :]

There's a young boy, with no arms, nor legs called Lumpi.
Lumpi plays in front of his house in the sandbox, then a window opens on the 4th floor and Lumpi's mother yells at him "Lumpi time to eat!" and she throws down a rope.
As Lumpi sees the rope hanging out of his window, he starts to rob to the rope and bite's it! He trained hard to hold himself on the rope with his teeth. Lumpi is very hungry and starts to pull himself up only with his teeth. Lumpi pulls and pulls, he's on the 1st floor, the window opens and a young Lady smiles at him, Lumpi smiles back, then pulls again...and again, 2nd floor the window opens and an old man sees him and waves at him, Lumpi shakes his head to greet back, then he start's to pull himself up again. Lumpi, all sweaty and hungry now on the the 3rd floor, near his own window on the 4th floor. The window on the 3rd floor opens and a Lady sees him, then she says "Hi Lumpi! What are you going to eat now?" and Lumpi replies " Pizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!...."

Sry for my bad english, I just tried to tell a joke in english that I know in my own language. :)

Plays joke, I try to tell this joke in english :]

What do you call it when a Korean plays kickball?

A Psychic

WHAT KIND OF BAND PLAYS SNAPPY MUSIC?

A RUBBER BAND.


A man decides he wants to learn to play bass.

He signs up for lessons and the first day the instructor says to him "today we're learning E." and he just plays E over and over again. The next lesson the instructor says he'll be teaching him A and he plays A over and over again. The third lesson is D and he plays D over and over again. At the end of the lesson the instructor says "next lesson we'll learn G" but the guy replies "I can't make the next lesson, I have a gig."

If Linkin Park plays in a forest, and no one is there to hear it,

in the end, does it even matter?

Plays joke, If Linkin Park plays in a forest, and no one is there to hear it,

My local drama society put on an evening of XXX Roman plays. I thought it sounded sexy so I went along. It was just 30 plays.

It's Easter Sunday morning...

... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walks in, sees all the colored eggs, then storms outside and kills the peacock.

I'm writing a film about a cannibal undead tax exile who plays drums, eats your mother and then is sick.

It's a nondomtomtomnomnommomvomromzomcom

Silly Grandad

Johns Grandad comes over to look after him for the day. John goes outside and plays with the neighbors kid, a bit later he comes in and asks "Grandad, whats it called when two people sleep in one room one on top of the other?" Grandad replies "I've got to be honest with you, you are 8 now, its called intercourse and thats how you make babys." ten minutes later John returns "Freds mum said its called bunkbeds, and she needs a word with you"

You can explore plays ensemble reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean plays jazz dad jokes. There are also plays puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A German boy band that plays some insane classical stuff.

Bachstreet Boys

Playstation and Xbox had a fight. Then came the ambulance

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

What do you call a Greek philosopher who plays hard to get?

A socra-tease

Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician?

A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands.

A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3

Did you hear about child molester who plays the piano?

He was fingering a minor

Plays joke, Did you hear about child molester who plays the piano?

So my new girlfriend plays soccer professionally

I think she's a keeper

Why is Tigger so dirty?

Because he plays with Pooh

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.


If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life....

Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?

Based on statistics

The most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style...
The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

Why does tigger have no friends?

Because he plays with pooh.

What's a married couples favorite sex position?

Doggy Style.
The husband sits up and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

My wife and I do it doggy-style...

...she plays dead and I beg.

-Dan Chopin

Nude Beach

Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.

Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.

Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

What's the difference between a rock musician and a jazz musician?

A rock musician plays 3 chords for 20,000 people, and a jazz musician plays 20,000 chords for 3 people

A man goes to Japan on business and hires a prostitute.

He doesn't speak any Japanese and she barely speaks any English. While they are going at it she yells out, "Gama Su! Gama Su!" Knowing that she has been satisfied he goes to bed.

The next day he plays golf and one of his associates gets a hole in one. Everyone goes crazy, so to enjoy in the excitement he yells, "Gama Su! Gama Su!"

Everybody goes silent and one of his Japanese associates says, "What do you mean wrong hole?"

A buddy of mine started dating this girl that plays soccer. I like her a lot.

She's a keeper.

Why does Piglet smell so bad?

Because he plays with Pooh

My local theatre were showing some XXX Roman plays..,

I thought that it sounded pretty hot, turns out it was just 30 Roman plays.

A Rock Band Plays 3 Chords for a 3000 Person Crowd

Where as a jazz player will play 3000 chords for a 3 person crowd.

Music can really take you to another place

Like this bar I'm in plays nickleback, so I'm leaving

Doggie Style

Two buddies were drinking while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" Asked the one.
"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"
"Well, not exactly..."
"I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."

Why is someone who plays the piano called a pianist...

... but a person who drives race cars not called a racist?

Well me and the wife have doggy sex every night.

I sit at the end of the bed panting and begging and she rolls over and plays dead

When it comes to trick plays, you have to hand it to Tom Brady...

Literally. He can't catch.

What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?

Popcorn

Old man says to old woman, I bet you can't guess how old I am.

She responds, I bet I can. Unzip your pants

The guy is shocked but plays along. The woman sticks her hand in his pants and feels him up for a few minutes before saying, You're 83!

The old guy is astonished and says, I am 83! How did you know?

The old lady says, You told me yesterday.

My Dad who plays golf.

I always asked dad why he bought an extra pair of socks when he played golf. Told me in case he got a hole in one. πŸ˜‚

I'm planning to put on a theatrical performance about puns.

I like producing word plays.

Studies show that doggy is the most common sex style among married couples.

The husband sits and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.

The latest hipster music craze plays songs at a frequency of 50000 Hz.

You probably never heard of it.

How to know the time

Dude 1: Yo what's the time.

Dude 2: Dunno pass me that trombone and I'll find out.

Dude 2: (plays trombone loudly)

3 Neighbours Simultaneously: HEY WHO'S PLAYIN' THAT TROMBONE AT 2AM!?!?!?

Dude 1: Broooooo...

What's Darth Vader's stage name when he plays his electric piano?

The synth lord

It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position...

The husband sits up and begs.

The wife rolls over and plays dead.

Marine biologists have discovered a group of killer whales that regularly meets and plays music together.

They call it an orca-stra.

'What time is it?'

'Dunno. Pass me that trombone and I'll find out.'

*plays trombone loudly*

Someone shouts: 'WHO'S THAT PLAYING THE TROMBONE AT 2AM?'

An American spy comes into a Soviet bar

And orders a drink.

"No drink for US spies" said the barkeep.

The spy goes pale. He pulls out a bottle of Vodka and drains it in one big gulp.

"You drink like Russian, but you are American spy"

The spy pulls out his accordeon and plays a wonderful Russian folk song, everyone in the bar tearing up, including the barkeep.

"You sing like Russian", he said under tears, "but you are American spy"

He starts dancing the Kozachok, worthy of the Bolshoy dancers.

"You dance like Russian, but you are American spy"

"Ok, you got me. But how do you know?"

"There are no black Russians"

I heard Miley Cyrus is in the new Silence of the Lambs reboot

She plays Hannibal Montannibal.

What's the difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist?

A rock guitarist plays 10 chords for 50,000 people,and a jazz guitarist plays 50,000 chords for 10 people.

3" , 6", & 9" are which Shakespeare plays?

Much Ado About Nothing... As You Like It ...& Taming of the Shrew.

My wife and I only have sex one way

It's so boring just the one way we have sex. It's called doggy style.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

My girlfriend is so sweet and loving, plus she plays in goal for the local football team

She's a keeper

A british person plays chess with an american,

The british person always wins. Why?


Their queen never dies.

I just found out the kool-aid man plays on a baseball team.

He's the pitcher.

My wife and I do it doggy style....

###I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead.

During interviews he seems like such a nice guy, but the actor who plays Wolverine is a real phoney

It's a huge act, man..

A horse walks in to a bar...

The bartender greets him, and says "You've been coming in here a lot. Do you think you might have a drinking problem?"

The horse pauses for a minute and says, "I think not."

And immediately disappears.



See, this joke plays on the famous Rene Descartes philosophical quote "I think, therefore I am." I would have explained that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

Never date a girl that plays tennis

They may be athletic, but love means nothing to them.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the plays dog playing chess jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working plays playing it cool piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes