Playing Pool Jokes
47 playing pool jokes and hilarious playing pool puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about playing pool that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Playing Pool Short Jokes
Short playing pool jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The playing pool humour may include short pool table jokes also.
- Why can't americans play pool billard? They always shoot the black ones first.
^^^^sorry... - A sergeant and two men from his unit walk into a bar 'Would you like to play pool?' The sergeant asked the attractive barmaid.
'No thanks darling' she replies. 'I'd rather play with your privates.' - A boy and girl are playing in a swimming pool... The boy says to the girl... I'm going to duck you!
The girl laughs and says... don't be silly you can't even say it properly - It'd be frustrating if you seriously couldn't find your friend Marco at a crowded swimming pool.
- What do Ewoks do when it's too cold to play in the river? Spend the day at the Endor pool.
- Why do police officers s**... at playing pool? They keep hitting the black ball.
- Why do cops s**... at playing pool? They always shoot at the black ball.
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Playing Pool One Liners
Which playing pool one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with playing pool? I can suggest the ones about pools and swimming pool.
- What game do Anti-Vaxxer's kids play in the pool? Marco Polio
- What do anti-vaxx children play in the pool? Marco-Polio
- What is a chicken's favorite game to play in the pool? Marco Pollo
- What game do unvaccinated kids play in swimming pools? Marco Polio
- I saw someone playing the guitar with a pool stick. It was acoustic.
- What's an unvaccinated child's favorite game to play in the pool? Marco Polio
- What kind of a cue would Barbie use if she played pool? A barbeque.
- What's the longest game in the world? Two women playing pool.
- What do you call a game played by 4 men? 8 ball pool.
- What did Saddam Hussein say every time he played pool? I rack.
- What is Siri really good at? Playing pocket pool.
- What games do Spanish children play in the pool? Marco Pollo
- What's a Republican's favorite game to play in the pool? Marco Rubio!
- Why did Ayn Rand lose the pool tournament? She wouldn't play on a regulation size table
- POOL FOR DJS Q: Why can't DJs play pool?
A: They always scratch.
Playing Pool Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about playing pool you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean playing cards jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make playing pool pranks.
A guy is laying in bed with his mistress...
- Shouldn't your husband be coming soon? Cause I'd rather not see him, he's my best friend after all...
- Don't worry, he won't be here before an hour.
At that moment, the phone rings. The woman answers : "Hi honey. Ok honey, yes honey. Bye Honey"
She hangs up and turns towards her lover :
- It was my husband, he'll be an hour late. He's playing pool with you.
A blind man walks into a bar...
...and after managing to find himself an empty seat at the bar he orders a pint.
Bartender fills the pint and as it is being placed in front of the blind man says, "hey Bartender, wanna hear a dumb blonde girl joke?"
Bar goes silent.
"Hey man," the Bartender says, "you're blind so there is a few things you should know before you tell your joke. You are in a d**... bar, the only one in town actually, and many of us are blonde. I am blonde. Sid the biker chick next to you is blonde and so is her girlfriend. The bouncer is also blonde along with the 2 chicks behind you playing pool. Do you really want to tell that joke?"
"Nah, you're right." says the blind man, "I would have to explain it too many times."
Fella rescued a damsel in distress.
Fella was heading home when he saw a lady beside the road with a flat tire. Being kind hearted, Fella stopped to change the tire for her. Lady was so thankful she invited Fella back to her place for a thank you drink. One thing lead to another and soon they were in the sack together. He realized the time and jumped up with a start. Running around getting his clothes on, he said, "What am I going to tell my wife?" "Wait, do you have any baby powder" he asked. "Certainly" she replied. He dusted his hands with the powder and headed home.
Walking in the door, he was greeted by his wife demanding to know where he had been. So he told her the truth, how he had stopped to change a woman's tire then wound up spending the afternoon in bed with her.
His wife looked at him for a moment, then grabbed his hands looking at them. She screamed at him, "You s**..., you spent the day playing pool again, didn't you?"
So a gator's friends are waiting for him at a bar
His friends are having drinks, eating, and playing pool. They start to wonder where their friend is, so they decide to call him. He answers the phone and his friend asks him where he is. The gator replies "I had to do some laundry, I'm here now though, I just cai-man."
I was invited to a party.
I was invited to a party by some work friends, which I happily accepted and attended. I needed to use the restroom when I arrived, in which there was a long line of other people before me, so I waited.
Later, I joined at the end of another long line to get a plate of food, which I was dead last again. After I ate, I decided to try and get ahead of the line to play some pool, but I was not quick enough and had to wait in another long line for a turn.
Slightly frustrated with my timing and always being last in line, I decided to get something to drink. I could not believe my eyes, when I saw there was no punch line.
A blind guy walks into a bar.
He sits down, orders a beer and after a while asks the bartender if she wants to hear a blonde joke. The barkeep replies, "Before you say anything else, you should probably know that I'm a blonde. So is the woman sitting next to you. There are also a couple of blondes playing pool behind you, one of them is twice your size. So, you still wanna tell the joke?" The blind guy pauses for a second, then shakes his head and replies, "Goodness, no. I don't want to have to explain it four times."
A billionaire decides to build a palace
A billionaire decides to build a palace to bring the best musicians of the 60's together in one place. After a year of hammering, sawing, and painting the palace is finally finished. It's perfect – marble, chandeliers, and concert halls; dozens of swimming pools and tennis courts. Excited, the billionaire sends out his invitations. A few weeks later he sees Jefferson Airplane, The Beetles, Jimmy Hendrix and a hoard of 60's luminaries standing in the grass, but none are coming inside. Paul McCartney is playing cards with m**... Jagger.
The billionaire is stunned. I've spent a year building this palace, making it perfect in every detail for the best musicians the 60's has ever known. Why won't you come inside?
John Lennon adjusts his glasses and calls out: You forgot The Doors.
A young couple were on their honeymoon . . .
. . . and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool. They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased. As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that the bikini was to large, and the top and bottom kept coming off. As they were the only ones in the pool, she and her husband would laugh and playfully retrieve the bikini from the pool's bottom.
That evening they dressed for dinner and headed to their hotel's elegant restaurant, where they were seated next to a huge aquarium. Strangely, the aquarium was devoid of any aquatic life.
When the bride asked their waiter why the aquarium had no fish in it, he smiled broadly and said, "That's not an aquarium...that's the swimming pool!"
A man phones home from his business trip...
His 9yo son answers and says hey.
"Hey buddy, it's dad! Wheres youre mom?"
"I will check", replies the son as he walks to his parents' bedroom and sees his mom in bed with uncle Jim. "She is playing in bed with uncle Jim"
"What?! Uncle Jim?! Tell them I will be right over!" the man fumes.
"Mom, dad says he'll be right over", says the kid. His mom starts panicking and shouting, uncle Jim jumps quickly from the window and falls in the empty pool and cracks his head. The mom rolls in sheets, exits the room and falls down the stairs and cracks her head.
The kid looks around and starts crying.
"What happened son?"
"Mom fell down the stairs abd uncle Jim jumped into the empty pool and died" he squeals.
"The pool?" Asks the man. "Is this the Goldberg house??"
Good Blonde Joke
A blind guy walks into a lesbian bar and orders a drink. He sits for a while and doesnt hear much so he asks if anyone wants to hear a blonde joke. The bartender says, before you tell your joke I want you to know that there is a big blonde softball player sitting next to you, two blondes that cage fight playing pool behind you, and I myself am a blonde female hockey player...So, do you still want to tell you joke? No. The man replies, not if Im going to have to explain it four times!