Playin Jokes

89 playin jokes and hilarious playin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about playin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Playin Short Jokes

Short playin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The playin humour may include short fore jokes also.

  1. Yo mama so n**... I walked in the front door and saw her playin' s**... poker with the cockroaches

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Playin One Liners

Which playin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with playin? I can suggest the ones about intolerant and coop.

  1. In Ancient Greece It was Gods Playin' Gods Playin'
  2. Judging teeth by their furrows and dimples is just playin' dentist.
  3. Why did the black guy buy an Xbox? Cos I ain't playin Wii U.
  4. What did the b**... say when he head the chainsaw? They're playin my song!

Playin joke, What did the b**... say when he head the chainsaw?

Hilarious Playin Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about playin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beaver jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make playin pranks.

So I was playing poker with a few lepers...

when someone threw in a hand.

Playing Oregon Trail.

You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, That's a girl's name! Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

I was playing a prison simulator when the batteries in my keyboard died.

Now I can't escape.

Playing with my younger brother

So, I was tickling my little brother's feet when mum wakes up and starts giving me a right earful.
Something about "Waiting until he's born".

A Glasgow girl goes to the Civic Center to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the civil servant?
"10" replies the girl.
"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"
"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec
"Doesn't that get confusing?" "
Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant.
"'at's easy," says the girl... "Ah just use thur surnames"

Playing 8-person smash was one of the deepest and most thought provoking experiences I've ever had...

I spent the whole time trying to find myself

I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend

and he's a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.

Playing Scrabble IRL is like having...


Playing doctors and nurses with the wife in the bedroom last night didn't go very well.

Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese.

I was playing a game of solitaire, but I only had a pack of Tarot cards

I actually won, but 4 people died

I was playing Battleship with my tumor...

I won though, my last hit was B9.

While playing in the backyard, Johnny kills a honeybee

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?

When playing the guitar in public...

keep in mind not to finger A minor, you could get arrested.

Playing Pokemon Go is like having s**... with a cheap h**......

..You never know what you're going to catch.

Playing Scrabble is like talking to women...

You spend the whole time looking at the rack trying to form words.

If your playing the guitar just remember one thing

Dont finger a minor you could get arrested for that.

I was playing poker with my cow that was on drugs

The steaks couldn't have been higher

I'm playing Monopoly with Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton...

Trump grabbed Community Chest as fast as he could, is building hotels on properties he doesn't really own and is refusing to pay income tax
Clinton started out with a house on Illinois Ave, somehow always has a "Get out of jail free" card and keeps saying she respects any opponent holding Vermont Ave
However, in the end, I have a feeling neither will be satisfied until they get a house on Pennsylvania Ave

I was playing snooker with Jacqueline.

I looked at her and said, "Where's your cue?"
She said, "It's after the C."

Which playing cards are the best dancers?

The king and queen of clubs

How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?

You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

I was playing Monopoly with a couple of friends and picked the hat piece, winked, and said...


I was playing charades with a deaf guy

Or as he called it, "having a chat".

I was playing chess with my Australian friend

He moved his queen in front of my king and said "check, mate".
I replied and said, "you didn't win though?"
Confused he said, "mate, I know."

While playing the depressing part of a videogame, my close pal Xavier suddenly starts massaging my c**...

I've never been so touched on an emotional level.

Me: *Playing Ouija board*

Me: What's your name?
Ouija Board: I H A V E A B O Y F R I E N D

I'm currently playing Pokémon Yellow and I named my character Drunk while I named my rival Sober. Every time they fight then, it's like real life


Playing doctor

Susie and Johnny were playing doctor, when Susie suddenly started crying and ran to her mother.
Later the Susie's mother confronted the Johnny's mother. "My Susie said that your Johnny was playing doctor with her!".
Johnny's mother responded calmly, "that's OK, kids are always exploring. I wouldn't worry about it."
Susie's mom screamed out, "but he took out her appendix!"

I like playing chess with bald people in the park

The problem is, it's kinda hard to find 32 of them

What happens when a DJ is playing a song with a small bass drop?

The crowd goes mild.

Playing the piano is like living.

I gave up on piano at 7 years old.

I was playing Arms on my Nintendo Switch and my teacher told me to put it away.

"But I have the right to bear Arms!"

I was playing ping pong with Jesus

Me: Ok that's 3-2 me, and it's my serve now
Jesus: ...
Me: Jesus give me the ball
Jesus: The son of Man came not to be served but to serve

I was playing baseball with my friend Tandra and she was pitching. I hit the ball straight into left field and made it to second base.

That's a double on Tandra.

I'm never playing uno with Mexicans again.

They take all the green cards.

I've been playing video games since I was eight years old.

I should probably go and have a shower.

Was playing with a new animation software but forgot to add any dialogue.

It rendered me speechless.

I've been playing my lute for 7 hours and my fingers are sore and stiff

I have minstrel cramps.

I was playing an online game when I saw 4 players teaming against a newbie so I came to help

He didn't stand a chance against 5 of us

I like playing chess with bald people at the park

It's usually pretty hard to find 32 of them though...

Playing my instrument quietly

Is not my Forte

I was playing scrabble and my dad played the word 'stneve'

Needless to say, it was an unexpected turn of events.

I was playing outside all day with my daughter and when we got home, we noticed that I was completely sunburn!

She asked me, "Daddy, why didn't I get sunburn?"
I guffawed, "You can't, honey!"
She looked at me quizzically, "Really?"
I smiled, "You can only get daughterburn!"

I'm 24 and she's 13. She wants me - what do I do?

I've been playing an online game with a woman. I'm up to level 24, but she's only on level 13. She really wants me in her clan to help her level, but I cant find the heart to tell her that she's only going to hold me back from leveling up myself.

I was playing golf last weekend

There were two women ahead of us playing very slowly.
After 5 holes, I'd had enough, and went ahead to ask if we could play through.
I soon came back with a look of t**... on my face, and said it was my wife and my mistress and there was no way I could approach them and ask to play through, would he do it instead?
He went ahead, then returned and said "it's a small world, isn't it?"

I was playing grand theft auto 5 when all of a sudden it crashes and an error message pops up

It read unfortunately the game is corrupted and the data will be deleted feeling sad and annoying with my 100s of hours lost I looked up online as to why it happened. I found a guide that said if you restart the game on the same console and go to the nearest garage and talk to the guy who's working on the car it can fix it. I did just that and it restored my old saves!
Thank god for that game mechanic

I've been playing this one game for like two weeks...

You know, Fortnite?

I was playing cards with my friend and lost.

I got so mad, I decked him in the face.

I've been playing this new game on my phone quite a bit lately

It's called Verizon: Zero Bars.

Playing a childhood video game to relive old memories is like hooking up with your EX...

Seems fun at first, but then you remember why you stopped in the first place.

I've been playing hide and seek with a roach for two days now.

He still hasn't found me since this morning. What a loser.

I was playing an Online game with a friend....

I was playing an Online game with a friend and he went afk, he came back a few seconds later and over the mic he said "Sorry, that was my wife, she brought me a snack". I said "I really wish I had one of those". My friend said "yeah, having a wife is pretty nifty" to which I replied "No, I was talking about the snack."

Been playing Minecraft with my niece.

There's a creature called a Mooshroom. It's a cow with a fungal infection. Just like my sister.

I was playing roadrash and cop caught me

The game resumes from the checkpoint in real life, if you can tip the cop well.

Playing tag with Jimmy Glasscock is easy...

No matter how quiet he is, you can always see him coming!

I was playing a board game with my friends when I noticed some important pieces of the game were missing.

I asked my friend, " Are you the game owner?"
He said, "I moan but I'm straight"

I tried playing my Demi Lovato record today

But the needle kept getting stuck

How can you tell you're playing poker with a feminist?

They'll insist that Kings and Queens have equal value.

Was playing around on this computer, and it was making the most beautiful sound ever...

Must of been a dell.

I was playing basketball with my 13 year old son and I beat him.

I probably wouldn't have if he hadn't won.

Thanks for playing, John

And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life".

John came fifth and won a toaster.

I was playing video games last night while my son was sitting next to me watching. He said, "dad I wish real life was more like video games."

So I locked him in his room and told him if he wants access to the rest of the house he will have to pay .99 for the DLC.

I was playing Golf with my girlfriend. She was stung by a bee, between the 1st and 2nd hole.

I told her, her stance was too wide.

I was playing an updated version of Oregon Trail voiced by Terry Crews.

I made the comment that he wasn't a good voice actor, and the game abruptly ended. Apparently, I died of dissin' Terry.

(Me playing Quiplash with my friend who has cancer): What's the difference between me and cancer?

My friend: Uhh... what?
Me: You won't beat me!

They're playing with the largest deck of cards ever at this year's World Series of Poker.

It's a pretty big deal.

while playing poker my friend said "my hand trumps your hand"

So I said "alright that means you lose but won't acknowledge it, right?"

What do playing a guitar and running a marathon have in common?

I can't do either of them.

I was playing SimplePlanes on my phone

I made a nice jet, but for some reason it didn't seem to work well. But then I realized
I didn't have airplane mode on

I saw someone playing the guitar with a pool stick.

It was acoustic.

I was playing a flat earth documentary on Netflix when my wife walked in.

What you watching?

I was playing chess and my opponent opened with 1. Nf3.

I wasn't reti for that.

I've been playing in the street all day wondering why I haven't seen a single car

And then it hit me

A guy's playing basketball with his buddies...

A guy's playing basketball with his buddies when he injures a finger badly.
He goes to the doctor and explains what happened.
The doctor examines it and says "It's broken, but we'll be able to get it healed up just about as good as new."
The guy gets a concerned look on his face and asks "Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after it's all healed up?"
Noticing his concerned look, the doctor reassures him "Sure you will," with a warm smile on his face.
The guy gets really excited and exclaims "YES! I've always wanted to be able to play the piano!"

I could only see 51 playing cards on the table

I was surprised to find a Jack in the box

I was playing on a putting green which was made on the roof of a luxury London hotel.

I was putting on the Ritz.

Why is playing jenga so important on a first date.

So I can show the girl my pull out game is on point

I don't think I'm going to keep playing wordle.

I ran out of guesses yesterday, and it called me a loser.
What I'm gathering from these comments is that wordle is Mean.

Why does nobody like playing FPS games with Boy Scouts?

Because they're good at camping.
(Credit goes to the Scout's Life magazine I got today for making one of the worst scout jokes I've ever seen.)

I was playing poker with tarot cards last night.

I got a full house and 3 people died...

While playing blackjack at my local casino, the pit boss came up to me and asked what the count was.

I replied "he's a purple Muppet with pointy teeth, but that's not important right now."

After playing racquetball at the gym, two guys hit the shower and were getting changed...

and the first guy was putting on a bra. The second guy looked surprised and asked "How long have you been wearing a bra?" The first guy answers "Ever since my wife found it under the bed".

Playin joke, After playing racquetball at the gym, two guys hit the shower and were getting changed...

jokes about playin