The Best 57 Playground Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Playground jokes. There are some playground kidnap jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these playground frankie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Playground Jokes and Puns

Jack and Bobby are arguing in the playground.

"My dad's better than your dad," says Jack.

"Oh yeah," replies Bobby. "Well, my mom's better than your mom!"

"You're probably right," says Jack. "My dad says the same thing."

I saw two kids fighting on the elementary school playground and being the only adult around, I had to step in...

Little bastards didn't stand a chance…

What animal has four legs and one arm?

A pit bull on a playground.

Playground joke, What animal has four legs and one arm?

What has four legs and one arm?

A pitbull terrier in a childrens' playground

Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf Hitler was also a star athlete....

He was the fascist kid on the playground.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a playground....

and a little boy walks by. The priest taps the rabbi on the shoulder and says, "I'm going to screw that little boy." The rabbi holds up his hands, shrugs, and says, "Out of what?"

(NSFW) Playground humor

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 from those stupid boys just by climbing a tree.

Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria laughed and said, I know that mom, that's why I took them off first.

Playground joke, (NSFW) Playground humor

The first day of school...

The first day of school was always great. I remember mucking around in the classroom and wreaking havoc. Picking on the little kids and taking their lunch money. Asserting myself on the playground by tripping and pushing everyone.

I just hope the students were having fun.

Tough Kid

An 8 year-old kid is sitting on a swing, eating jelly beans, in a playground in South Philly. This man walks by and says, "Hey kid, you shouldn't eat candy. It's not good for you."

Kid looks up and says, "You know my grandfather lived to be 95?"

"Yeah, and? He ate a lot of candy?"

Kid smiles and says, "No. But he knew how to mind his own fuckin' business."

"Now little ones, where do children go when they do bad things...?", Mrs Mary asked.

"I know! I know!", Little Johnny said with vigour, " they go behind the bushes in the playground!"

"Please little Johnny, mind what you say"

"Oh its true Mrs Mary!", voiced Susan enthusiastically, "T.J took me there and showed me his Weiner."

The teacher gasped in horror as T.J smiled mischievously.

"Oh, it was like a peanut it was!"

"Hah, so it was tiny?", the teacher relieved, asked.

"No, salty!"

What is brown and has got four legs and an arm?

A Rottweiler on a children's playground.

You can explore playground kids reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean playground kindergarden dad jokes. There are also playground puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Little Johnny at the playground

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

A middle-aged teacher named Mrs. Jackson saw one of her first grade boys making rude faces at the preschoolers on the playground

She said "You know, Liam, when I was a little girl I was told that if I made ugly faces it might freeze and stay like that."
Liam replied "Well sorry Mrs. Jackson, but you can't say you weren't warned.

I was at the park today by the playground.

A mother asked me which kid was mine.
"I haven't decided yet.".

Priest and a Rabbi

Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street. They pass a playground where a little boys playing. The Priest says to the Rabbi, "Hey you want to screw that kid?" The Rabbi replies, "Out of what?"

Johnny, Billy and Jimmy are discussing girls at their high school.

Johnny said, Mindy Carlson let me kiss her in the playground after Mathβ€”she's one of the greats.

That's nothing, said Billy, Madison let me kiss her with tongues in the gym after Chemistryβ€”she's a Hall-of-Fame-girl.

Little Jimmy just shook his head. You know Becca Sampson? She'll go down in history.

Playground joke, Johnny, Billy and Jimmy are discussing girls at their high school.

What do you call a German paedophile hiding in the playground bushes?

Kinder Surprise!

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

I was sitting at a park one day just watching the children play...

I was sitting at a park one day just watching the children play.

A mother came up to me and said, "So, which one is yours?"

I looked over the playground and said, "You know, I haven't decided yet."

At a playground, a woman asked a man "Which kid is yours?"

The man replied "Haven't decided yet."

Creepin 'round town

Like priests in a playground

Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election.

If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.

What dance did Nikola Tesla invent at the playground?

The Electric Slide

God is obviously a Civil Engineer...

... Only a civil engineer would route a sewage system through a playground.

Why did the kindergartener cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down.

They don't know I'm firing blanks.

A priest and and a rabbi are having a walk in a park.

As they walk past a playground the priest looks at the rabbi and says. Hey should we screw those kids? The rabbi replys. Out of what?

2 girls were talking on the playground...

One looks to the other and asks, "Do you guys pray before you eat dinner?"

The other replies, "No, my mom knows how to cook."

little Sally--funny adult joke

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom fainted.

When I was a kid, I found a bottle of vodka someone had left at the treehouse at the playground. So I took it to the police station.

The police told me not to worry. They would get to the bottom of it.

Ugly Faces

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to have a talk with the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

Why did Roy Moore hang out at the playground?

To get the swing vote.

I've always said candy tastes best coming from strangers.

None of the kids at the playground listened to me though.

Why did the banana not enjoy the playground?

He was scared of the monkey bars.

Childen are playing on a kindergarten playground with their tablets...

...and the teacher is sleeping on a bench. A lady walks by and wakes the teacher up: "Aren't you afraid that the children will run away and get lost?" asks the lady. "I'm not afraid at all," says the teacher, "the WiFi signal covers the playground only."

I was sitting on the bench at the playground ..a woman sitting next to me said "which one is yours? "

I said "I haven't decided yet "

They say kids are chick magnets and they weren't kidding!!!!

I grabbed one off a playground the other day and had 10 women running after me.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other... Slide.

What has 4 legs and an arm?

Pitbull in a playground

We took the kids to the playground earlier.

We met another couple and their kids. They seemed real normal, you know? So we asked if they wanted to walk over to the slides and the see-saw.

But then the husband told us, they're swingers.

I got in a fight with a guy at the park because he was hogging the playground equipment.

He took a swing.

A priest and a rabbi are walking through the park

when they see a group of kids on the playground.

The priest turns to the rabbi and says menacingly Hey, should we go screw those kids?

The rabbi looks at him quizzically and asks, out of what?

What has 4 legs and 3 arms ?

A pitbull on a playground.

A priest and a rabbi are walking past a playground.

The priest sees a little boy playing on a swing. He nudges the rabbi and says hey, let's go over there and screw that kid! The rabbi looks at the kid and says out of what?

Some high schoolers are on the playground.

A new kid walks up. They say whats your name? He says God. They say "NO way!!! He says Yahweh

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

Pitbull on the playground

Why couldn't Superman find the local playground as a kid?

Adult supervision was required

What has four legs and one arm?

A pitbull returning from a kids playground

Why did the toddler cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Playgrounds in the UK have been fitted with advanced paedophile detection systems to help protect children

The company behind the technology has called it NonceSenseβ„’

What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?

A swing and a myth.

From my 7 year old son: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

Timmy wants a watch

Timmy notices Tommy has a new watch when he sees him in the playground. Where'd you get the watch? Asked Timmy. Tommy replied, I walked in on my parents having sex. When my dad saw me, he threw me his watch and told me to get out.

Timmy thought this was a great idea. So, that night when his parents were going at it, Timmy made his move and walked in on them mid-stroke. Timmy's dad sees him and yells what do you want!?! I wanna watch says Timmy. His dad sighed and said, Alright, go stand in the corner.

What did Adele say when she saw her ex-boyfriend at the playground?


Teamster jokes

Why is there a horse on the Teamster logo?
It's the only animal that sleeps standing up.

What do Teamster's kide do at the playground do?
Sit on folding chairs and watch other kids play.

What do you call a Teamster in a 3 piece suit?

Two teamsters are standing around. Suddenly on of them crushes a snail under is his boot.

The other one asks "why did you do that"?

"that son of a bitch has been following me around all day"

A prisoner digs a hole out of jail....

.... and ends up in a toddler playground
and yells "I'm free! I'm free!"
and a kids walks up and says "So big deal, I'm four!"

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide! My 5 year old told me this. I'm sure it isn't OC, but I got a chuckle.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the playground rhesus jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working playground peepee piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes