player Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious player puns

Why did the console player cross the road?

To render the buildings on the other side.

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After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.

According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

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A poker player wins one million dollars first price in a tournament

Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?

Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.

Interviewer: and what about the rest?

Poker player: Well... I guess they'll have to wait..

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My girlfriend told me love means nothing to her

That's what I get for dating a tennis player.

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What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers after three periods!^I^will^see^myself^out^now

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Never date a tennis player.

To them love means nothing.

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Never ever marry a tennis player

Love means nothing to them

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My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with. "Eleven," I replied. "Wow! You must be a player," she laughed.

"No," I said, "I'm their coach."

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What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.

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What does the highest paid WNBA player make?

Sandwiches.

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Aaron Hernandez set a new NFL record

Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt

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My sex life is like a video game

Single Player.

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Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them!

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Letter to God

Dear God,

Last week, you took my favorite boxer; Muhammed Ali.
Today, you took my favorite hockey player; Gordie Howe.
I just want to let you know that my favorite candidate is Donald Trump.

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My dad is a professional Russian roulette player.

He only lost once.

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I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend

Love meant nothing to her

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My friend gave me a porno video.

When it put it in the player all it had was a blurred picture of some old, fat, bald guy naked and having a wank. I was fucking furious until I realised I had forgotten to turn on the TV.

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Why is that when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls he's a player

But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys it's your mom?

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My grandfather was a legendary Russian roulette player

He only ever lost once

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A Vegan, a Crossfitter and a Fortnite player walked into a bar

I only know because they told everyone twice within 5 minutes.

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Never go out with a tennis player

Love means nothing to them.

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My sex life and gaming life are pretty similar.

I play a lot of single player.

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Why is it that when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls he is a player...

But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys i'm not one of them?

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What's the name of the fastest Chinese online game player?

Lo Ping

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What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player?

A tattoo.

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What does a violin player use as birth control?

Their personality

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Don't be frightened if you see a Pokemon Go player outside your bathroom window.

He's just trying to catch a pikachu.

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My 5 year old grandson came up with this joke, and didn't even realize it was funny and made sense: Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom?

Because he was dribbling. 😊

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How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest?

Sing the national anthem

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Never mary a tennis player...

Love means nothing to them,

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How do you get a bass player off of your porch?

You pay for your pizza.

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What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs?

Drool

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A Rock Band Plays 3 Chords for a 3000 Person Crowd

Where as a jazz player will play 3000 chords for a 3 person crowd.

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What does love mean to a tennis player?

Nothing

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What do you call a bass player without a GF?

Homeless.

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What are the most funny Player jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Player? Well, here are the best Player dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Player pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes