The Best 65 Player Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Player jokes. There are some player footballer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these player punter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Player Jokes and Puns

Why did the console player cross the road?

To render the buildings on the other side.

What does the highest paid WNBA player make?

Sandwiches.

How do you get a bass player off of your porch?

You pay for your pizza.

Player joke, How do you get a bass player off of your porch?

How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Just have the keybord player do it with their left hand.

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.


After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.

According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with. "Eleven," I replied. "Wow! You must be a player," she laughed.

"No," I said, "I'm their coach."

Player joke, My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with. "Eleven," I replied. "Wow! You must be a

What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player?

A tattoo.

What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs?

Drool

What does love mean to a tennis player?

Nothing

What do you call a bass player without a GF?

Homeless.

You can explore player gamer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean player football dad jokes. There are also player puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did the guitar player get arrested

He was fingering a minor

An accordion player walks into a bar,

orders a drink and chats up the bartender and the regulars for an hour.

Suddenly, he realizes that not only has he left his instrument in his back seat of his car in full view of passers-by, but he hasn't even locked his doors.

He quickly excuses himself from his conversation and rushes outside and up the block to his vehicle to take care of business, but it was too late.

Sure enough, someone had thrown another accordion in his back seat.

What do you call a trombone player who just broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.

why is the bass player stuck outside?

he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway

My sex life and gaming life are pretty similar.

I play a lot of single player.

Player joke, My sex life and gaming life are pretty similar.

What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers after three periods!^I^will^see^myself^out^now

Gender inequality.

There is an inequality when it comes to men and women. For example...

If a man sleeps with hundreds of women he is respected and labled as a stud or a player. Nothing bad is said about him and he goes on acting like the player he is.

However, if a woman that goes around sleeping with hundreds of men, she's your mum.

What did the orphan poker player say?

Will you raise me?


How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

Letter to God

Dear God,

Last week, you took my favorite boxer; Muhammed Ali.
Today, you took my favorite hockey player; Gordie Howe.
I just want to let you know that my favorite candidate is Donald Trump.

A man walks out of a bar...

He realizes he must be drunk after having seen an Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman drinking together, A horse, 2 chemists (one dead), a piano player, a dog, a monkey, an octopus, 007, an ostrich as well as a befuddled bartender tending to countless men walking into the bar...

Apparently Michael Jackson was also a gifted baseball player.

He was big in the minors.

What does a violin player use as birth control?

Their personality

If a piano player is called a pianist

Wouldn't a racecar driver be called a racist?

Why did the console player faint at the museum?

Because there were so many frames!

Why is that when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls he's a player

But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys it's your mom?

Did you hear what happened to that NFL player that murdered several people?

He was suspended.

Aaron Hernandez set a new NFL record

Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt

A poker player wins one million dollars first price in a tournament

Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?

Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.

Interviewer: and what about the rest?

Poker player: Well... I guess they'll have to wait..

A Rock Band Plays 3 Chords for a 3000 Person Crowd

Where as a jazz player will play 3000 chords for a 3 person crowd.

My grandfather was a legendary Russian roulette player

He only ever lost once

My dad is a professional Russian roulette player.

He only lost once.ο»Ώ

Don't be frightened if you see a Pokemon Go player outside your bathroom window.

He's just trying to catch a pikachu.

What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.

What's the name of the fastest Chinese online game player?

Lo Ping

How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest?

Sing the national anthem

A limbo player walks into a bar.

He loses.

My sex life is like a video game

Single Player.

My 5 year old grandson came up with this joke, and didn't even realize it was funny and made sense: Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom?

Because he was dribbling. 😊

A Pokemon Go player walks into a bar.

And a tree. And a wall. And into a lake.

A Vegan, a Crossfitter and a Fortnite player walked into a bar

I only know because they told everyone twice within 5 minutes.

A pianist performing in a subway terminal...

was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.

Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.

I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"

To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."

Don't ever get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player...

Love means nothing to them.

A bass player joke.

A dad gets his son a bass and lessons for his birthday. When the son comes home from his first lesson dad asks, " what did you learn at your first bass lesson son?"

"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4...5 notes on the E string!"

"That's great son!"

The next week rolls around.

"What did you learn at your second bass lesson son?"

"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4..5 notes on the A string!"

"That's great son!"

The next week rolls around.

"What did you learn at your third bass lesson son?"

"I blew it off I had a gig."

I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend

Love meant nothing to her

My girlfriend told me love means nothing to her

That's what I get for dating a tennis player.

How many D&D players does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them. Never split the party.

I quit my career as a professional poker player, and I decided to open a grocery store.

For the first couple weeks, I didn't earn much money. Then, I decided to rearrange the meat and the snacks in my store. I started earning lots of money. I knew that I would succeed when the chips were down and the steaks were high.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a couch?

A couch can support a family.

I started playing COD Cold War yesterday and ended up playing online against a player called Hitler. He got so many kills but...

It was only because he was Kampfing.

You should never get into a relationship with a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts when I touch my face, elbow and knee." The doctor says,

"You've broken your finger"

A Bad Limbo Player Walks Into a Bar.

Thats it.

Lost my job as an Old West saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door

and I just kept playing

I'm about to reveal a secret to being an excellent guitar player

Stay tuned

Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless.

These just jokes people...

What do you call a hockey player in a wheat field when it's raining?

Grayne Wetzky

A cello player was found dead earlier this week. Police suspect he was murdered

They think the crime was orchestrated, but could not rule out a random act of violins

I heard Barcelona is ironing out a new deal with their best player.

It might get Messi

A professional limbo player walks into a bar

He got disqualified

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

Hockey players take thier pads off after three periods.

"No forced entry,"

the detective mused. "That means it could only be .... the piano player!"

Everyone gasped and turned towards the mild-mannered entertainer.

"He's the only one who has all the keys!"

Never marry a tennis player...

...because love means nothing to them.

---

Good luck to everyone at the US Open!

2 hockey players were fighting on the rink. Both were swinging at each other full strength. Until one lands a nice right hander to the jaw and the hockey player lands face first onto the ice. A player on the bench says

"at least he got ice on it right away."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the player lacrosse jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working player game piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes