Playboy Jokes

64 playboy jokes and hilarious playboy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about playboy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of Playboy's best jokes. From blondes to business, you're sure to find something to make you smile.

Funniest Playboy Short Jokes

Short playboy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The playboy humour may include short boy toy jokes also.

  1. What's more horrifying than finding a stack of dad's playboys in the basement? Realising one of them's still breathing.
  2. I thought nothing could be more embarrassing than finding my dad's playboys in the closet. Until one of them tried to shake my hand.
  3. Clown walks into a bar... Clown walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a treehouse."
    Bartender says, "A treehouse, what's in a treehouse?"
    Clown says, "Playboys and cigars, of course!"
  4. My kid got into some of my old Playboys and asked me what "A rack" was So I told him it's a country in the middle east.
  5. Harvey Weinstein joke with journalists Journalist: Were those n**... photos of you that the jury looked at?
    Harvey Weinstein: No, it was p**... !
  6. What's the difference between a n**... white woman and a n**... black woman One is on the cover of p**... while the other is on the cover of national geographic
  7. Did you hear about the new p**... magazine for married men? Every month it has the same centerfold.
  8. What's the difference between the Circus and the p**... Mansion? The Circus features a cunning array of stunts.
  9. Why do pirates love p**... Magazine? You'd think it's for the b**..., but they really read it for the arrrticles.
  10. p**... returns to cover completely n**... pictures of girls. Trump is in office less than a month, and already makes America great again.

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Playboy One Liners

Which playboy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with playboy? I can suggest the ones about playground and hugh hefner.

  1. What is the name of the tactic used by Turkish Playboys? Hit & Run
  2. What do you call playboys A triangle
    Cause they're triangles
  3. How is Reddit like p**...? No one reads the articles.
  4. p**... for Married Men..... Every month.....same chick....
  5. What did the teenage boy do with his first issue of p**...? Beats me.
  6. I tried to break into the p**... mansion once. But the whole place was booby trapped.
  7. Shouldn't the p**... mansion be in Silicon Valley?
  8. Santa Claus A p**... who knows where all the naughty girls live
  9. What do you call a farmer with a sheep under each arm? A p**...
  10. What's a p**... model in space called? an asstronaut
  11. p**... Reviewed My Photos
  12. What do video games and p**... have in common? They both improve eye-hand coordination.
  13. p**... founder Hugh Hefner has died. Flags will be flown at full mast.
  14. Men read p**... for the articles, women go to malls for the music.
  15. What do you call someone who's been banned from the p**... mansion? Persona non grotto

Playboy Mansion Jokes

Here is a list of funny playboy mansion jokes and even better playboy mansion puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A monk was selling flowers on the p**... mansion grounds and no one but Hef could get him to leave... Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
  • A man is in legal trouble after harassing a sea cow at the p**... Mansion. He's been charged with crimes against Hugh's manatee.
  • A man has legal problems after he harassed a sea cow at the p**... Mansion. He's wanted for crimes against Hugh's manatee.
  • The owner of hostess just brought the p**... mansion Guess he really liked h**...-hos and ding dongs
  • Five years in, marriage is still like a party at p**... mansion. After a few drinks the cracks start to appear.
  • What's the worst part about staying at the p**... mansion? J2d0YHSXh0kV1Zi4zSKJmCncYpkexJQf

Playboy Magazine Jokes

Here is a list of funny playboy magazine jokes and even better playboy magazine puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • p**... are coming out with a new magazine especially for married men. Every month it's exactly the same woman.
  • p**... is coming out with a new magazine for married men Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.
  • Did you hear about the new magazine for married men published by p**...? It has the same pictures month after month after month after month after month....
  • p**... is starting a new magazine specifically for married men. It has the same centerfold every month!
  • What does a p**... Magazine and a Model T Ford have in common? These days they're both hard to come by.
  • Why are old p**... Magazines so coveted and expensive? because the Centerfolds used to be scratch-n-sniff.
  • So I came across this p**... magazine.
Playboy joke, So I came across this p**... magazine.

Playboy Hugh Jokes

Here is a list of funny playboy hugh jokes and even better playboy hugh puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear p**... is featuring its first transgender playmate? Hugh Hefner would be rolling over in his grave....if he didn't have a kickstand!
Playboy joke, Did you hear p**... is featuring its first transgender playmate?

Hilarious Fun Playboy Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about playboy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stripper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make playboy pranks.

Corniest joke I know.

Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners p**... mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the p**... mansion seeing two friars outside.
Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.
The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Badum psh

a man goes to confess after 25 years

So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of p**... n**... calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"
But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"

I read this joke in a 1974 p**... magazine today.

An elderly man died and went to purgatory. There he ran into a friend his age, who is accompanied by a luscious young blonde. "I'm happy for you, Steve", said the new arrival. "At least you're getting a partial reward in this place while you expiate your sins."
"She isn't my reward", sighed Steve, "I'm her punishment!"

An order of monks are selling flowers...

...illegally on the lawn of the p**... Mansion, Hugh Hefner's property. Instead of calling the police, however, Hugh decides to spring into action and stop them himself. After an intense argument, the monks agree to leave peacefully. If it had been anybody else they would have gotten away with it; unfortunately for them, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Two Monks

Two Monks attempted to sell flowers outside the p**... mansion yesterday. Despite the best attempts of the mansions security, the monks could not be forced from the grounds. It wasn't until the owner of the mansion himself arrived, that the friars left. It just goes to show:
that only Hue can stop florist friars.

Hugh Hefner

Today, famous p**... Hugh Hefner successfully managed to stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the p**... Mansion, where they had been selling flowers.
Said one friar, "Well if it was anyone else we could've gotten away with it, but unfortunately only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Going To The Movies

I told my wife I wanted to watch a movie about a billionaire p**... with a penchant for darkness, inflicting violence and dressing up in masks.
She got excited and asked, "Are we really go to see *50 Shades*?"
I laughed and told her I was talking about *The Lego Batman Movie*.


Steve and Cliff are having this talk. Steve says, "My wife lets me subscribe to National Geographic and p**... for the same reason." Cliff says, "Why?"
Steve says, "Because with both magazines, I get to see places I'll never get to visit."

Some monks were selling flowers outside the p**... mansion

Hugh Hefner realises this and puts a stop to it as they are on his property and welcoming tourists. The local news catches wind of this and goes to interview the monks.
The reporter asks "do you think you will set up shop somewhere else?"
And the monks reply "oh yes, only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

A man was reading a newspaper

when his son suddenly barged into the living room. He was all sweaty and out of breath, but had a big smile on his face. Dad! exclaimed his son, I just lost my virginity! The man put down his newspaper and looked at his son proudly. The young man standing before him reminded him of his youth, when he was a p**... with a handful of girls. The man smiled and said, Sit down, son, and let me tell you a story. The son replied, I can't, Dad, it still hurts to sit.

Some monks were trying to sell flowers... the p**... mansion. These monks had always been successful at selling flowers. However, Hugh Heffner was especially annoyed this day by their persistence and had security e**... them from the premises.
Turns out, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Police responded to a call outside the p**... mansion.

Mr. Hefner called the police to remove a group of monks selling daisies out of an i**... roadside stand in front of the p**... mansion. A police spokesperson released a statement "we responded promptly to Mr. Hefner's call because as everybody knows, only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

The best thing about p**... not publishing n**... anymore is that people will now have to try and convince others that they're buying h**... for the articles...which are usually about people peeing on each other.

What's the difference between the Barnum and Bailey Circus and a line of p**... centerfolds?

The circus is a cunning array of stunts...

p**... offered sarah palin a million dollars to pose n**... ..

Michelle Obama got the same offer from nat geo

Playboy joke, Did you hear p**... is featuring its first transgender playmate?

jokes about playboy