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Play On Words Jokes

110 play on words jokes and hilarious play on words puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about play on words that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Play On Words Short Jokes

Short play on words jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The play on words humour may include short word play jokes also.

  1. My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary? A play on words.
  2. Playing Scrabble is like talking to women... You spend the whole time looking at the rack trying to form words.
  3. Have you ever seen Puns: The Musical? If not, you really should. It's a great play on words.
  4. My school did a performance last year called "The Dictionary" Turns out it was just a play on words.
  5. Now that there is a musical about Alexander Hamilton, I'm going to make a Musical about the founding of the Webster's English Dictionary It's going to be a play on words
  6. Have you seen the new broadway production about the dictionary? It's a great play on words.
  7. Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
    A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
  8. You child is playing with wires and is getting electrocuted, what can you do? Ground him until he can conduct himself properly.

    First word in title should be "your"
  9. How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it.
  10. I went to the theatre today, the stage was covered in random phrases... I guess it was a 'play on words'

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Play On Words One Liners

Which play on words one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with play on words? I can suggest the ones about play on word and play on names.

  1. Romeo & Juliet.doc... ...is a play on Word.
  2. My son is rehearsing for a part as a dictionary It's going to be a play on words
  3. Q: Why did the duck go to jail?
    A: Because he got caught selling quack.
  4. Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
    A: Snowballs.
  5. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
  6. Q: Wanna hear a joke about construction?
    A: Never mind, I'm still working on it.
  7. Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
    A: "Meet you at the corner!"
  8. I wrote a script about the dictionary for my local theatre It's a play on words.
  9. Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
    A: Because of his coffin.
  10. I'm starring in a new theater production about puns It's a play on words
  11. How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
  12. Q: What do you do with a sick boat?
    A: Take it to the doc.
  13. Q: Why did the tomato blush?
    A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
  14. Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
    A: Made a website!
  15. Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
    A: "I'm not peeling well."

Great Play On Words Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about play on words you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wordplay jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make play on words pranks.

Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator.

Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in.

Q: Why did the painting go to jail?
A: It was framed.

Q: What starts with F and ends with U-C-K?
A: Firetruck.

Q: Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 Cokes?
A: He burped 7Up.

Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.

Q: Why did the girl wear glasses in math class?
A: It improves di-vision.

Q: What do you call a famous fish?
A: A star fish.

Q: Why do pirates not know the alphabet?
A: They always get stuck at "c."

Q: What do u call a seagull flying over the bay?
A: A bagel.

Q: Why did the kid throw the butter out the window?
A: To see the butter fly!

I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends.

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: You can roast beef but you cant pee soup.

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

Q: Why are there no televisions in Afghanistan?
A: Because of the Telly-ban!

19 Irishmen go to a cinema. Ticket lady says, "Why are there so many of you here tonight?" m**... replies, "The fillm says 18 and over, miss."

Q: What is the king of all inches?
A: The ruler.

There are 2 cats. The one two three cat and the un deux t**... cat. They had a race across the English Channel. Which cat won? The one two three cat because the un deux t**... cat cinq.

Q: Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?
A: Because it was rated Rrrrr.

Why is gambling i**... in Africa?
Because there are too many cheetahs!

Where do pencils come from? Pencilvania.

Q: Why did the cow cross the street? A: To get to the udder side.

Q: Where do crazy people travel through the forest?
A: The psycho path.

How are s**... and bungee jumping related?
When the rubber breaks, you're s**...!

What are the best kind of letters to read in hot weather? Fan mail.

Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fungi!

Q. Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?
A. Cause he was stuffed.

A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess...

The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. "If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day," the teacher explains. "Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. "Well," Tommy begins, "I played in the sand box with Suzy!" "Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word 'sand' I'll give you a gold star." So Tommy goes up to the board, spells 'sand' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks Suzy, "Suzy, what'd you do for recess today?" So Suzy answers, "like Tommy said, we played in the sand box together." "Okay," the teacher thinks, "if you can come up to the board and spell 'box' I'll give you a gold star. So Suzy spells 'box' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks the third student, "Tyrone, what'd you do for recess today?" "Well I wanted to play in the sand box with Tommy and Suzy but they wouldn't let me," Tyrone answers. "Oh no!" says the teacher, "That's terrible! Do you know what that's called? That's called 'racial discrimination.' If you can come up to the board and spell 'racial discrimination' I'll give you a gold star."

A guy is sitting in a bar when a great looking woman comes over to him.

He's really excited, but it immediately comes clear that she is a h**.... She says, "Hey, handsome. Want to play a game? Here is how it works. I'll do absolutely anything you want for three hundred dollars, as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy thinks for a minute. Then he pulls his wallet out of his pocket, lays three hundred dollar bills on the bar, and says, "Paint my house."

Dramatic performance

I once had a dramatic performance on the subject of puns, but then I realized it was just a play on words.

Last day for your taxes

A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's t**... and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's t**..., the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."

Paraprosdokians

*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....

So I went to a production about puns today...

...it was basically just a play, on words.

What's the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff's Notes?

A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays

Did you hear? Broadway is making a theatrical production on puns!

It's going to be a *huge* play on words!

On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...

*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.
The woman ignores him.
*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*
The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the first question.
*"What is the distance between Earth and the Moon?"*
The woman hands him $5. Now it's her turn.
*"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"*
The lawyer is astonished. He frantically surfs the Internet, searches his pocket encyclopedia and asks his scientist friends. He finds nothing. Hours later, when finally giving up looking for the answer, he wakes the woman, hands her $50 and asks:
*"So, what is the answer?"*
Without saying a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.
**

My Grandfather's Favorite Joke [word play]

A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer

were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend

and he's a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.

The joke wasn't there because it was busy parking the car

I asked my brother why he was taking a dictionary and thesaurus to his theater rehearsal.

He said it was a play on words.

Silly Grandad

Johns Grandad comes over to look after him for the day. John goes outside and plays with the neighbors kid, a bit later he comes in and asks "Grandad, whats it called when two people sleep in one room one on top of the other?" Grandad replies "I've got to be honest with you, you are 8 now, its called i**... and thats how you make babys." ten minutes later John returns "Freds mum said its called bunkbeds, and she needs a word with you"

My daughter was playing hopscotch by herself...

So my daughter was playing hopscotch, and recited the words "*Step on a crack, and break your mother's back"
And then my wife's back bent over, I then shouted at her to stop playing, but she continued and then recited "*Step on a line and break your father's spine*"
And then the neighbor next door shouted in agony with his back bent.

"Hey, you know where there's a theater around here?"

The man responds "Yeah, just around the corner and a block down. You plan on seeing a performance?"
The blonde answers "Yep, a friend told me about a comedic play called 'Puns', apparently is based around words, whatever that means."
"Wait, what exactly did your friend tell you?"
"That he really likes 'Puns': a funny play on words"

The President-Elect has recently begun learning how to play bridge with the help of master bridge players. it turns out, the President-Elect's plays are far superior to those of his peers. In other words...

Trump's trumps trump Trump's trumps' trumps.

"Dad, how did you come up with my brother's name, 'Legab'?"

"Is it a variation of 'Gabriel' or something?"
"Ah... no sweetie. As you know, your Mom loves bagels so we decided to play with that word".
"Oh... ok. Thanks, Dad!"
"You're welcome, Lana".

Ten reasons why hockey is better than women

1: In hockey, everyone likes rough.
2: You only get 5 minutes for fighting.
3: Puck is not a dirty word.
4: You don't have to play in the neutral zone.
5: It is possible to score a few times a night.
6: When you "pull the goalie," nobody gets pregnant.
7: Missing teeth doesn't stop you from scoring.
8: You can always get new wood if your stick breaks.
9: The Zamboni cleans up your mess.
10: Periods last twenty minutes!

I was playing scrabble and my dad played the word 'stneve'

Needless to say, it was an unexpected turn of events.

There was a Broadway performance about puns...

But don't get too excited. It was just a play on words.

I was invited to Broadway show called Vocabulary and I had to go.

I never pass up a good play on words.

2 spies in an interrogation room

The interrogator sat in front of them and asked for names.
Spy A says to the other
"Whatever you do, dont say a word"
A few seconds later Spy B said
"Fdugyop"
The Spy A looked at Spy B and said
"what did just say?"
Spy B replied
"Oh when we played scrabble you said '*thats not a word*' and NOW its a word"

I'm writing a script for a show called "Pun".

Pretty much, it's going to be a big Play on words.

I want to write a show called "Pun". I'll have the script printed out and taped to the floor of the set.

It'll be a play on words.

I'm planning to put on a theatrical performance about puns.

I like producing word plays.

In 8th grade english class I wrote a script titled "The Pun"

The very first set description in the script said that the stage was to be painted over with random words and phrases.
When I handed in the assignment, my teacher came up to me and asked: "Why is your script titled 'The Pun' and why is the floor covered with phrases?"
"Because my script is a play on words!"

A nights work...

A guy meets a s**... worker in a bar.
She says, "Hey, tonight is your lucky night. I've got a very special game for us to play. Tonight I'll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy replies, "Hey, why not?, you're on" So he proceeds to put £300 on the bar from his wallet, and says to the s**... worker slowly. "Paint…my….house."

My brother has been writing a stage drama about a dictionary and a thesaurus. I'm really looking forward to it.

I love a play on words.

My wife said "Why don't you write a book instead of s**... word play jokes?"

I said, "That's a novel idea."

I have achieved my life's goal of writing an entire theatrical performance made up entirely of puns.

It's a play on words.

So I learned some interesting things today

I get a kick out of words and word histories, so reading up I learned the word "CENTURION" came from the old Latin word for one hundred, because they were an officer in charge of one hundred soldiers. I also learned that the term "DECIMATE" comes from a collective punishment centurions would mete out, where one out of every ten men would be executed. It seemed like there was definitely some kind of joke or word play I could make out of that, but I couldn't find any.
There was no pun in ten dead.

jokes about play on words