Following is our collection of Play jokes which are very funny. There are some play trombone jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these play school play puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
She got so mad and said she's never gonna play scrabble with me ever again
You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, That's a girl's name! Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.
They always steal the green cards.
They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain.
Wow, lol.
I said "maybe".
It's easy, you just stand there and take eight shots.
He turns up and walks into the clubhouse to get his membership and play a round.
The receptionist says 'Sorry Sir, we don't allow black people in this golf club.'
'That is ridiculous, its 2014 and you don't allow black people in your golf club?'
'Please don't make a scene Sir, there is another gold club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in.'
'But I'm Usain Bolt!'
'OK then, 2 minutes.'
If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand
Edit 1: when you cheat in poker you have a partner
Edit 2: this is getting more upvotes than I thought it would get but before someone calls me out on it. This was a Mae West quote about bridge and several Internet memes put poker instead of bridge because more people play poker than bridge and when you cheat in poker you have partners(the poker strategy is called collusion)
Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large funeral procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man retorts "Woah man, that was really respectful". "Well, we had been married for over 25 years" said the other man.
You can explore play badminton reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean play pinball dad jokes. There are also play puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
...what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista.
Mein Kraft.
I play a lot of single player.
She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...
Because she uses the other one to sing
Because he sucks on an organ.
A: Because they don't know where home is.
I'm too short to play
:(
mount rushmore
Whenever your girlfriend goes to the bathroom take a shot
Marco Polio
The man replied "Haven't decided yet."
Because it's completely ok to finger A minor
"What are you doing?" she asked in shock.
"Making you someone to play with," I said.
"A brother?" she asked excitingly.
"No, a cousin," I replied. "Now go and watch out for your mother coming home."
So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.
Mountains peak.
...he meets his cellmate for the first time, a huge hulk of a man, who turns to him and says, 'We're gonna play a game, a game of mommies and daddies... Do you wanna be the mommy or the daddy?'
The new convict relunctantly replies, 'I guess I'll, ...I'll be the, ...the daddy?...'
The inmate smiles and says 'Fantastic! ...Now come over here and suck mommy's cock'.
Me: What's your name?
Ouija Board: I H A V E A B O Y F R I E N D
I have a trumpet that tells the hour.
"The hour?" the friend asks.
Yes, yes look.... he grabs the trumpet and opens the window and starts to play it like crazy when all of a sudden you can hear...
"You $#@% it's 3 in the morning"
Guy1: You wanna play the rape game?
Guy2: No.
Guy1: That's the spirit!!
…I got kicked out for that one…
His record is 20 years and still counting.
It really cheered me up to see me take the ring off my wife's finger, walk out of church and go drinking with my friends.
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
There's only one iron.
Dad : I just donated all your toys to the orphanage
Son: Why?
Dad: So you'll have something to play with when i take you there.
This is definitely the last time I play monopoly with my dad
They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."
A bassist.
(Don't get triggered, I play bass and I find this funny)
Even worse, if you play it forwards you'll hear Nickelback.
I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.
Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says Newton, you're terrible, I've found you! Newton says No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!
Free to Play, but Pay to Win.
Kept hitting on 17.
A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.
He has two in his boat when the police approach him.
The man claims he's not poaching them and they are his pet lobsters, he's just taking them for a swim.
"I let them play in the water for a few minutes but when I whistle they come back to me."
So the police let him place the lobsters in the water and command the man to call them back.
"Call who back?"
But what's even worse is that if you play it forwards you can hear Nickelback
A Pitbull coming from the childrens play ground
The Trump card.
Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.
Because there are too many cheetahs
But the needle kept getting stuck
Two good friends go golfing and they come up on two women who are moving like molasses. One guy says that he'll go up and ask if they can play through. When he's half way to the women, he freezes, turns around and comes back pretty pale.
"Sorry man, I can't do it! One's my wife and the other my mistress!"
The other guy says he'll ask instead. Halfway to the women he suddenly stops turns around and comes back shaking his head. "Small world bro!"
But I got bored and quit because it was just one ting after another.
I asked what she had in mind.
"Let's play doctor", she said.
I told her to go in the bedroom, shut the door, take off all of her clothes and wait on the bed for me.
After a half an hour I walked in, told her to lose 20 lbs. and handed her a bill for $300.
All of them. Never split the party.
0 Kills
0 Assist
7 Deaths
It's Einstein's turn. He counts till ten and opens up his eyes.
Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein with a chalk in his hand. He's sitting on a box he's drawn, one metre a side.
Einstein: Newton you're terrible, I can see you!
Newton: No No Einy, you've found one Newton per square metre. You've found Pascal!
But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.
The other guy and I are really stubborn, and neither of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with our adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect he is actually gay.
Because that's where the winner has the lowest score.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
She could be the Capitol building, and I'd be a Trump protester.
So I said "alright that means you lose but won't acknowledge it, right?"
They should use scientists instead - they're not as pretty but they know a lot more.
But then she told me that visiting hours are over and asked me to get out of the bedroom immediately.
She indeed is a genius...
I cant play chess
I can't do either of them.
They shot me down :(
And When I was a girl they wanted me to see a psychiatrist
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the play dog playing chess jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working play playing it cool piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.