She got so mad and said she's never gonna play scrabble with me ever again
Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says Newton, you're terrible, I've found you! Newton says No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!
Even worse, if you play it forwards you'll hear Nickelback.
She told me to watch porn because I already know how to play football.
Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.
The Trump card.
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
There's only one iron.
If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand
Edit 1: when you cheat in poker you have a partner
Edit 2: this is getting more upvotes than I thought it would get but before someone calls me out on it. This was a Mae West quote about bridge and several Internet memes put poker instead of bridge because more people play poker than bridge and when you cheat in poker you have partners(the poker strategy is called collusion)
A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.
He has two in his boat when the police approach him.
The man claims he's not poaching them and they are his pet lobsters, he's just taking them for a swim.
"I let them play in the water for a few minutes but when I whistle they come back to me."
So the police let him place the lobsters in the water and command the man to call them back.
"Call who back?"
Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large funeral procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man retorts "Woah man, that was really respectful". "Well, we had been married for over 25 years" said the other man.
A Pitbull coming from the childrens play ground
So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.
Guy1: You wanna play the rape game?
Guy2: No.
Guy1: That's the spirit!!
You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, That's a girl's name! Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.
They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain.
He turns up and walks into the clubhouse to get his membership and play a round.
The receptionist says 'Sorry Sir, we don't allow black people in this golf club.'
'That is ridiculous, its 2014 and you don't allow black people in your golf club?'
'Please don't make a scene Sir, there is another gold club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in.'
'But I'm Usain Bolt!'
'OK then, 2 minutes.'
"What are you doing?" she asked in shock.
"Making you someone to play with," I said.
"A brother?" she asked excitingly.
"No, a cousin," I replied. "Now go and watch out for your mother coming home."
Mein Kraft.
…I got kicked out for that one…
But what's even worse is that if you play it forwards you can hear Nickelback
A: Because they don't know where home is.
They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."
Whenever your girlfriend goes to the bathroom take a shot
Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
His record is 20 years and still counting.
Because he sucks on an organ.
...what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista.
I said "maybe".
Free to Play, but Pay to Win.
Kept hitting on 17.
Dad : I just donated all your toys to the orphanage
Son: Why?
Dad: So you'll have something to play with when i take you there.
She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...
I have a trumpet that tells the hour.
"The hour?" the friend asks.
Yes, yes look.... he grabs the trumpet and opens the window and starts to play it like crazy when all of a sudden you can hear...
"You $#@% it's 3 in the morning"
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Play? Well, here are the best Play dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Play pick up lines to share with friends.