JokoJokes

Platformer Jokes

96 platformer jokes and hilarious platformer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about platformer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Platformer Short Jokes

Short platformer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The platformer humour may include short jokes also.

  1. Reviews for Hogwarts Legacy are coming in. Most reviewers are giving it a 9 3/4 depending on the platform.
  2. I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on twitter and post it on a different social media platform. Retweet if you agree.
  3. Two old englishmen are standing on the underground platform The first old man asks "Is this Wembley?"
    The other replies "No, Thursday."
    The first replies "Ah! So am I. Shall we go and get a pint?"
  4. Matthew McConaughey considering a run for Texas Governor. He's planning to run on an alt-right, alt-right, alt-right platform.
  5. I was going to make a social media platform called "Please Try Again Later", but I figured Reddit would sue me for copyright violation.
  6. My church decided to modernize and replace the collection plate with a digital platform Called Papal.
  7. There's a new social media platform where people can take pictures of how they've been conned by their coke dealer. Isntagram.
  8. To passengers who are taking the 1.30 to Shrewsbury from platform 3A... ...could you bring it back please.
  9. Since you can get on the train from any station Does that make them compatible across platforms?
  10. Why was Paschal Clarke banned from eBay? Because he made the pa(y)pal cross.
    I created this joke ten years ago and have. And now have only found a big enough platform to air it.
    Thank you.

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Platformer One Liners

Which platformer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with platformer? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform? Send crudes.
  2. Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation.
  3. What social media platform do fetuses use? discord
  4. Why did Jesus only play his favorite game on PC? Because it wasn't cross-platform
  5. What trading platform that won't let you trade? A corrupted one.
  6. What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart? Amadeus on my dais.
  7. Nintendo is releasing a micro transaction mobile platformer Pay Per Mario
  8. Which social media platform vegans hate the most? Google meet
  9. Ad Nauseam; What you get when a platform dissolves their ad-free premium service.
  10. What replaces Steam, the gaming platform, in China? pollution.
  11. What's the number one social media platform preferred by aliens? Spacebook
  12. Insane people on rollerblades are a threat They are always on an unstable platform.
  13. Friend 1 "hey dude what's your PSN name?" Friend 2 "did you just assume my platform!"
  14. Our platform makes these achievable feats
  15. What is Thanos' favourite social media platform? Snapchat

Platformer Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about platformer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make platformer pranks.

During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully, "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement." Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face. The minister repeated his point louder. "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!" The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up. He pounded the pulpit emphatically when he came to the ultimatum: "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!!!" Though everyone else in the congregation was looking somber, the man in front continued to smile. Finally the preacher stepped off the platform, stood in front of the man and shouted, "I said each member of this church is going to die!" The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service was over, the preacher made a beeline for the man. "I don't get it," the preacher said in frustration. "Whenever I said, 'Each member of this church is going to die,' your smile got bigger. Why?" "I'm not a member of this church," the man replied.

Santa, standing on a railway platform, suddenly runs and stands on the tracks.
Banta: "Santa, move out of the way! The train is arriving!"
Santa: "Haven't you heard the announcement that the train is arriving on the platform?"

During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully, "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement." Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face. The minister repeated his point louder. "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!" The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up. He pounded the pulpit emphatically when he came to the ultimatum: "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!!!" Though everyone else in the congregation was looking somber, the man in front continued to smile. Finally the preacher stepped off the platform, stood in front of the man and shouted, "I said each member of this church is going to die!" The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service was over, the preacher made a beeline for the man. "I don't get it," the preacher said in frustration. "Whenever I said, 'Each member of this church is going to die,' your smile got bigger. Why?" "I'm not a member of this church," the man replied.

Santa, standing on a railway platform, suddenly runs and stands on the tracks.
Banta: "Santa, move out of the way! The train is arriving!"
Santa: "Haven't you heard the announcement that the train is arriving on the platform?"

During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully, "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement." Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face. The minister repeated his point louder. "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!" The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up. He pounded the pulpit emphatically when he came to the ultimatum: "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!!!" Though everyone else in the congregation was looking somber, the man in front continued to smile. Finally the preacher stepped off the platform, stood in front of the man and shouted, "I said each member of this church is going to die!" The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service was over, the preacher made a beeline for the man. "I don't get it," the preacher said in frustration. "Whenever I said, 'Each member of this church is going to die,' your smile got bigger. Why?" "I'm not a member of this church," the man replied.

Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border.
They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business.
By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets.
Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it.
John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up.
Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed.
John came down again and sprang back up.
This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds.
The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body.
Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on.
John replied, "I’m not sure. Do you know what 'pinata' means?"

A college Professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class.
He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there is no God.
Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
The lecture room fell silent.
You could have heard a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by.
Again the Professor taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God! I'm still waiting!"
His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor and punched him full-force in the face.
The Professor tumbled from his lofty platform, and he was out cold before he hit the floor.
At first the students were shocked, and they babbled in confusion.
The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silently.
The class fell silent... waiting.
Eventually, the Professor came to.
When he finally regained the power of speech, he glared at the young Marine in the front row.
"What's the matter with you? Why on earth did you do that?"
The Marine smiled. "God was busy. He sent me."

What happens when a political party filled with loyal members builds its entire platform on being unwilling to cooperate with the opposing party in a system based on compromise between parties that share power?

Your government fails.
wait... sorry I wrote this joke last year, I guess its not that funny anymore.

Train accident..

There was an accident at this train station and 20 people were dead or badly wounded after a train had hit them. Surprisingly all victims were blonde. However, there was one blonde who was intact.
A TV reporter asks the blonde, "It was a very unfortunate accident. What do you think was cause?"
Blonde replies with excitement and anger, "It happened because of wrong announcement at the station when the train arrived!"
TV Reporter is surprised, "Wrong announcement?"
Blonde says, "Yeah! The announcer said the train was coming on the platform no. 2. All these people waiting for the train on platform number 2 rushed off platform and came on the tracks."
TV Reporter is speechless, "Ummm... well... fortunately you stayed at the platform and now you are safe."
Blonde replies, "What fortunately? I came here to commit s**...!"

After the flood, Noah tells the animals from the Arc to "go forth and multiply."

After a few months, Noah figures he better wander around and see how the animals are doing. Everybody is happy until he comes across a couple of snakes - they are quite downcast and not very happy. Noah asks what wrong, and they say "We are Adders, so we can't multiply!"
Noah rubs his chin for a few moments, and then goes into the forest, cuts down a couple of trees, and makes a table out of them.
Then he puts the snakes up on the platform he has made, and says "Now you should be happy. Everybody knows that adders can multiply with log tables!"

A German joke

An old man was travelling by train from his hometown of Offenburg to visit family in Frankfurt am Main. It was quite a journey for him, since he never got around much.
At one time the conductor walks by yelling "HEIDELBERG, GET OFF!" The man thinks, "That's my name!" and gets off the train marvelling at the wonders of modern technology that allow the railway companies to remind passengers by name where they have to change.
While on the platform he hears "HEIDELBERG, COME IN!" and hastily boards the other train. He sits down and since he's in an unusually good mood, he begins to chat up another passenger. "Where are you going?," he asks. "To Regensburg," sounded the reply.
The old man slaps his knees, and says excitedly "What a time to be alive! I'm going to Frankfurt, you're going to Regensburg, and we're both on the one same train!"

Former President George W. Bush was giving his speech when suddenly...

... an anti-Bush campaign leader ran to the platform and said "I hate you! I hate America because of you!". Before security had any time to respond, the guy pulled out a syringe and stabbed Pres. Bush on the arm and said "Ha! That was my blood inside the syringe! And I have AIDS! Goodbye, Bush!"
After the commotion, Pres. Bush was surprisingly calm. The media asked him "So, are you ok? You have AIDS now! What are you gonna do?"
Pres. Bush replied "Ow, don't worry about that. I have protection - I'm was wearing a c**... when he stabbed me."

Did you hear what what Dr Dre is calling his new social media platform?

Beats me.

So three ducks go to court...

The first duck goes up to the platform and the judge says, "Okay why are you here and tell me your name." The duck says, "My name is Quack and I was found blowing bubbles in the pond." The judge says, "Okay you're sentenced to six months."
A second duck walks up to the stand and the judge says, "Tell me your name and why you are here." The duck says, "My name is Quack Quack and I was caught blowing bubbles in the pond too." The judge says, "Alright you're sentenced to six months too just like the other guy."
The third duck walks up to the stand and the judge says, "Don't tell me your name is Quack Quack Quack." The duck goes, "No your honor, I'm Bubbles."

The President of the United States and the Prime minister of China are comparing their bodyguards.

The president orders his secret service agent to jump off a 40 foot platform. The agent heisitates and does so.
The prime minister immediately orders his bodyguard to do the same. The guard jumps without batting an eye.
The president, feeling a little defeated, orders his bodyguard to jump off a hundred foot platform. The agent turns to the president and, with teary eyes, pleads:"Mister president, please don't do this, I have a family!"
The president hesitates and retracts his order. The chinese minister snorts and orders the same to his body guard.The chinese bodyguard starts climbing without a second thought. The president grabs his arm and says, "Wait man, this is too much! You don't have to do this!"
The chinese bodygaurd shakes off his arm and says:"Mister president, please don't, I have family."

Roundbd.com - World's First, The Largest and Most Popular Technology Social Network, Blogging Platform, Online Communi & Download Zone

What does a beggar and a PHP programmer have in common?

They both work on crowded platforms.

When reaching a high shelf, do you jump up to get it, or stand on a foldable tiered platform?

Because most people prefer the ladder.

I saw Adele at the train station the other day

I saw Adele at the train station the other day on the other platform
She said 'hello from the other side'

What are Hillary Clinton's favorite shoes?

Platform Flip flops !

So if you do win an award tonight don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech.

You’re in no position to lecture the public, about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So, if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your god, and f**... off.

Apparently Kanye dropped a new album on an obscure platform.

Torrent.

Two friends and a cripple are waiting for a train.

Someone bumps into the cripple and his wheelchair starts moving. He falls between the platforms and can't get back up. Then he hears the train coming.
One of the friends tries to jump in and save him, but the other friend grabs him and says, "You're not supposed to go past the yellow line".

You know what I get off on?

Subway platforms.

Similarity between beggars and software engineers

When two beggars meet each other and two software engineers meet each other after a long time,
the question asked is the same .
On which platform are you working these days?

Did you guys hear about the new platformer where the enemies just try to make you laugh?

It's funny on so many levels.

What do you call ..

An Italian who works on an oil platform?
r**... Tony

Donald Trump took Pope Francis for an afternoon on his yacht...

While they were out to sea, the Pope's hat blew off his head and into the water. While everyone ran frantically, Trump stood up and said "Hang on. I've got this"
Miraculously he walked to the platform level with the water, and continued walking across the top of the water, picked up the popes hat and walked back and returned it to him. Everyone was stunned at this they couldn't believe what they just saw!
The following morning CNN reported:
"Breaking: Donald Trump can't swim!"

Depression in Mexico

There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.
Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.

The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"

Oxford has released a digital collection of words you're allowed to say, but only released it on one platform.

They had to make sure it was PC.

What's the difference between Origin and steam?

One is a gaming platform and one is heated water.

How to play Platform Nine and Three Quarters

In defiance of the GOP platform, judge Roy Moore expressed his support of China's one-child policy

There should be a media platform that does frequent leaks but only one news dump a year...

It would be called AnnalLeaks

I've invented a social media platform exclusively for communists.

I call it OurSpace

How do black students get to Hogwarts?

Platform 9 & 3/5

Skyrim release by platform PC/PS3/XB360->PS4/XB1->Switch

Finally, *a port*-able release. Too bad it's still.

With each new release of skyrim on differing platforms, what is guaranteed for skyrim superfans?

More solitude

Three men were sentenced to death.

The day of their execution arrives, the first man was hanged but fortunately the rope loosens and he fells into the water below the platform. The same happens with the second man. It was now the turn of the third man, but before reaching to the pole he requests the person in charge, "You better tighten that rope of yours because I don't know how to swim."

Memory

A tourist was introduced to an Indian in New Mexico, who was said to have a perfect memory. Skeptically, the tourist asked, "What did you have for breakfast on September 10, 1943?"
The Indian answered, "Eggs."
The man scoffed, "Everyone eats eggs for breakfast. He's a phony. "
Thirteen years later, the traveller's train stopped again in the small New Mexico town, and he saw the same Indian sitting on the train platform. The tourist went up to him and said jovially, "How!"
The Indian answered, "Scrambled."

Donald Trump is standing in the gallows...

The executioner is fitting the rope around his neck.
Below the platform are all the news networks. They are all clamoring for a final statement before the man is hung for his crimes.
Trump simply smiles and shakes his head.
Finally, one question is heard above the roar of the crowd?
"Aren't you worried about dying?" A voice asks.
Trump shrugs his shoulders as he smiles again and shakes his head for the last time.
He replies: "Fake noose."

Here's proof why Sony won't make a "PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale 2"

It's a "Cross Platform Fighter".

How long did it take Sony to release cross-platform play?

About a Fortnite

I decided to hide my fortune beneath a stone docking platform next to a Scottish lake...

I'm keeping it under loch and quay.

Why is Grindr the official hookup platform of Thanksgiving?

Gobble gobble gobble.

I saw a YouTube video where a magician had ten of his friends climb up on a platform, then he made them all disappear.

It was really amazing! A magician with friends!

What's the most beautiful sight to behold in Britain?

The platform for the Eurostar to Paris.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together.

A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can't see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: "Can you see me now?" The four men answer: "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."

What is an alligator that likes to start fight's favorite social media platform?

Instagram, because they're an insta-gator.

HBO Max has removed the film Gone With The Wind, from their streaming platform and...

frankly my dear...

Three men are standing at the train station.

They are talking to each other and they don't even notice that the train already came and is now already moving. They all run towards the door, and two of them manage to jump on the train, but the third one stays on the platform. An observer comes to the man and says: wow, your friends are fast! The man responds: Yeah, but they were here just to e**... me to the train!

I have one of those stools to help you p**....

One night, I was too tired to move it out of the way when I had to pee. So I stood on the stool to t**.... I now have my own streaming platform.

A prisoner who is on death row has been sentenced to death by hanging and is standing on the platform being prepped for execution…

Just before the execution takes place, the prison guard looks at the prisoner and asked them if they had any last words.
The prisoner then says Man, my neck is killing me today!

Noah and the snakes

According to the Bible, Noah built an ark and brought a pair of each animals on board to survive a flood. When the ark ran aground Noah told the animals to go forth and multiply.
The snakes told Noah We can't multiply, we're adders.
Noah gathered some driftwood tree trunks and built a platform for the snakes. Even adders can multiply when given a log table.
You might have to be older than me to understand this. People on reddit who are older than me are rare, but they exist.

When i have my first child I'm going to make him read all the Harry Potter books and convince him he is also a wizard.

On his 11th birthday he will receive his hogwarts letter (written by me) and i will then take him to kings cross station and say nothing as he runs at the wall between platform 9 and 10.