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Platform Jokes

51 platform jokes and hilarious platform puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about platform that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover hilarious platform jokes that are sure to make you laugh out loud. Explore jokes related to platform shoes, pulpit, pedestal and railroad. Don't miss out on these witticisms and one-liners!

Funniest Platform Short Jokes

Short platform jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The platform humour may include short panel jokes also.

  1. Reviews for Hogwarts Legacy are coming in. Most reviewers are giving it a 9 3/4 depending on the platform.
  2. I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on twitter and post it on a different social media platform. Retweet if you agree.
  3. Two old englishmen are standing on the underground platform The first old man asks "Is this Wembley?"
    The other replies "No, Thursday."
    The first replies "Ah! So am I. Shall we go and get a pint?"
  4. Matthew McConaughey considering a run for Texas Governor. He's planning to run on an alt-right, alt-right, alt-right platform.
  5. I was going to make a social media platform called "Please Try Again Later", but I figured Reddit would sue me for copyright violation.
  6. My church decided to modernize and replace the collection plate with a digital platform Called Papal.
  7. There's a new social media platform where people can take pictures of how they've been conned by their coke dealer. Isntagram.
  8. To passengers who are taking the 1.30 to Shrewsbury from platform 3A... ...could you bring it back please.
  9. Since you can get on the train from any station Does that make them compatible across platforms?
  10. Why was Paschal Clarke banned from eBay? Because he made the pa(y)pal cross.
    I created this joke ten years ago and have. And now have only found a big enough platform to air it.
    Thank you.

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Platform One Liners

Which platform one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with platform? I can suggest the ones about toolbox and plate.

  1. What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform? Send crudes.
  2. Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation.
  3. What social media platform do fetuses use? discord
  4. Why did Jesus only play his favorite game on PC? Because it wasn't cross-platform
  5. What trading platform that won't let you trade? A corrupted one.
  6. What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart? Amadeus on my dais.
  7. Nintendo is releasing a micro transaction mobile platformer Pay Per Mario
  8. Which social media platform vegans hate the most? Google meet
  9. Ad Nauseam; What you get when a platform dissolves their ad-free premium service.
  10. What replaces Steam, the gaming platform, in China? pollution.
  11. What's the number one social media platform preferred by aliens? Spacebook
  12. Insane people on rollerblades are a threat They are always on an unstable platform.
  13. Friend 1 "hey dude what's your PSN name?" Friend 2 "did you just assume my platform!"
  14. Our platform makes these achievable feats
  15. What is Thanos' favourite social media platform? Snapchat

Platform Shoe Jokes

Here is a list of funny platform shoe jokes and even better platform shoe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What are Hillary Clinton's favorite shoes? Platform Flip flops !
Platform joke, What are Hillary Clinton's favorite shoes?

Unearthly Funniest Platform Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about platform you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean program jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make platform pranks.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.

The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"

Donald Trump is standing in the gallows...

The executioner is fitting the rope around his neck.
Below the platform are all the news networks. They are all clamoring for a final statement before the man is hung for his crimes.
Trump simply smiles and shakes his head.
Finally, one question is heard above the roar of the crowd?
"Aren't you worried about dying?" A voice asks.
Trump shrugs his shoulders as he smiles again and shakes his head for the last time.
He replies: "Fake noose."

Noah and the snakes

According to the Bible, Noah built an ark and brought a pair of each animals on board to survive a flood. When the ark ran aground Noah told the animals to go forth and multiply.
The snakes told Noah We can't multiply, we're adders.
Noah gathered some driftwood tree trunks and built a platform for the snakes. Even adders can multiply when given a log table.
You might have to be older than me to understand this. People on reddit who are older than me are rare, but they exist.

Depression in Mexico

There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.
Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.

So three ducks go to court...

The first duck goes up to the platform and the judge says, "Okay why are you here and tell me your name." The duck says, "My name is Quack and I was found blowing bubbles in the pond." The judge says, "Okay you're sentenced to six months."
A second duck walks up to the stand and the judge says, "Tell me your name and why you are here." The duck says, "My name is Quack Quack and I was caught blowing bubbles in the pond too." The judge says, "Alright you're sentenced to six months too just like the other guy."
The third duck walks up to the stand and the judge says, "Don't tell me your name is Quack Quack Quack." The duck goes, "No your honor, I'm Bubbles."

When i have my first child I'm going to make him read all the Harry Potter books and convince him he is also a wizard.

On his 11th birthday he will receive his hogwarts letter (written by me) and i will then take him to kings cross station and say nothing as he runs at the wall between platform 9 and 10.

A prisoner who is on death row has been sentenced to death by hanging and is standing on the platform being prepped for execution…

Just before the execution takes place, the prison guard looks at the prisoner and asked them if they had any last words.
The prisoner then says Man, my neck is killing me today!

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together.

A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can't see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: "Can you see me now?" The four men answer: "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."

I have one of those stools to help you p**....

One night, I was too tired to move it out of the way when I had to pee. So I stood on the stool to t**.... I now have my own streaming platform.

Three men were sentenced to death.

The day of their execution arrives, the first man was hanged but fortunately the rope loosens and he fells into the water below the platform. The same happens with the second man. It was now the turn of the third man, but before reaching to the pole he requests the person in charge, "You better tighten that rope of yours because I don't know how to swim."

Similarity between beggars and software engineers

When two beggars meet each other and two software engineers meet each other after a long time,
the question asked is the same .
On which platform are you working these days?

Two friends and a cripple are waiting for a train.

Someone bumps into the cripple and his wheelchair starts moving. He falls between the platforms and can't get back up. Then he hears the train coming.
One of the friends tries to jump in and save him, but the other friend grabs him and says, "You're not supposed to go past the yellow line".

Three men are standing at the train station.

They are talking to each other and they don't even notice that the train already came and is now already moving. They all run towards the door, and two of them manage to jump on the train, but the third one stays on the platform. An observer comes to the man and says: wow, your friends are fast! The man responds: Yeah, but they were here just to e**... me to the train!

What happens when a political party filled with loyal members builds its entire platform on being unwilling to cooperate with the opposing party in a system based on compromise between parties that share power?

Your government fails.
wait... sorry I wrote this joke last year, I guess its not that funny anymore.

Platform joke, Why was Paschal Clarke banned from eBay?

jokes about platform