The Best 45 Platform Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Platform jokes. There are some platform dais jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these platform podium puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Platform Jokes and Puns

What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

What happens when a political party filled with loyal members builds its entire platform on being unwilling to cooperate with the opposing party in a system based on compromise between parties that share power?

Your government fails.

wait... sorry I wrote this joke last year, I guess its not that funny anymore.

Our platform makes these achievable feats

Platform joke, Our platform makes these achievable feats

Did you hear what what Dr Dre is calling his new social media platform?

Beats me.

So three ducks go to court...

The first duck goes up to the platform and the judge says, "Okay why are you here and tell me your name." The duck says, "My name is Quack and I was found blowing bubbles in the pond." The judge says, "Okay you're sentenced to six months."

A second duck walks up to the stand and the judge says, "Tell me your name and why you are here." The duck says, "My name is Quack Quack and I was caught blowing bubbles in the pond too." The judge says, "Alright you're sentenced to six months too just like the other guy."

The third duck walks up to the stand and the judge says, "Don't tell me your name is Quack Quack Quack." The duck goes, "No your honor, I'm Bubbles."

What replaces Steam, the gaming platform, in China?

Pollution. - World's First, The Largest and Most Popular Technology Social Network, Blogging Platform, Online Communi & Download Zone

Platform joke, - World's First, The Largest and Most Popular Technology Social Network, Blogging Platfo

When reaching a high shelf, do you jump up to get it, or stand on a foldable tiered platform?

Because most people prefer the ladder.

Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president?

His platform is lowering inflation.

I saw Adele at the train station the other day

I saw Adele at the train station the other day on the other platform

She said 'hello from the other side'

What are Hillary Clinton's favorite shoes?

Platform Flip flops !

You can explore platform railroad reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean platform brezhnev dad jokes. There are also platform puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

So if you do win an award tonight don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech.

You’re in no position to lecture the public, about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So, if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your god, and fuck off.

Apparently Kanye dropped a new album on an obscure platform.


Friend 1 "hey dude what's your PSN name?"

Friend 2 "did you just assume my platform!"

Similarity between beggars and software engineers

When two beggars meet each other and two software engineers meet each other after a long time,
the question asked is the same .

On which platform are you working these days?

What do you call ..

An Italian who works on an oil platform?

Rigger Tony

Platform joke, What do you call ..

Depression in Mexico

There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.

Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.

To passengers who are taking the 1.30 to Shrewsbury from platform 3A...

...could you bring it back please.

Why was Paschal Clarke banned from eBay?

Because he made the pa(y)pal cross.

I created this joke ten years ago and have. And now have only found a big enough platform to air it.

Thank you.

What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform?

Send crudes.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.

The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.

Oxford has released a digital collection of words you're allowed to say, but only released it on one platform.

They had to make sure it was PC.

What's the difference between Origin and steam?

One is a gaming platform and one is heated water.

How to play Platform Nine and Three Quarters

In defiance of the GOP platform, judge Roy Moore expressed his support of China's one-child policy

Insane people on rollerblades are a threat

They are always on an unstable platform.

Skyrim release by platform PC/PS3/XB360->PS4/XB1->Switch

Finally, *a port*-able release. Too bad it's still.

What's the number one social media platform preferred by aliens?


Three men were sentenced to death.

The day of their execution arrives, the first man was hanged but fortunately the rope loosens and he fells into the water below the platform. The same happens with the second man. It was now the turn of the third man, but before reaching to the pole he requests the person in charge, "You better tighten that rope of yours because I don't know how to swim."

Donald Trump is standing in the gallows...

The executioner is fitting the rope around his neck.

Below the platform are all the news networks. They are all clamoring for a final statement before the man is hung for his crimes.

Trump simply smiles and shakes his head.

Finally, one question is heard above the roar of the crowd?

"Aren't you worried about dying?" A voice asks.

Trump shrugs his shoulders as he smiles again and shakes his head for the last time.

He replies: "Fake noose."

Here's proof why Sony won't make a "PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale 2"

It's a "Cross Platform Fighter".

I decided to hide my fortune beneath a stone docking platform next to a Scottish lake...

I'm keeping it under loch and quay.

Why is Grindr the official hookup platform of Thanksgiving?

Gobble gobble gobble.

What is Thanos' favourite social media platform?


I saw a YouTube video where a magician had ten of his friends climb up on a platform, then he made them all disappear.

It was really amazing! A magician with friends!

What's the most beautiful sight to behold in Britain?

The platform for the Eurostar to Paris.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together.

A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can't see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: "Can you see me now?" The four men answer: "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."

What is an alligator that likes to start fight's favorite social media platform?

Instagram, because they're an insta-gator.

HBO Max has removed the film Gone With The Wind, from their streaming platform and...

frankly my dear...

(NSFW)ish ...A boy and his mother are standing on a train platform when an announcement on the tannoy plays attention the next train on platform 2 will not be stopping

The boy shuffles closer to the edge and his mother calls out billy stand away from the edge of the platform or the train will suck you off. The boy stops for a second, looks at his mother then back at the tracks. The boy then pelvic thrusts and announces come onnnnn train

I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on Twitter and post it on a different social media platform.

Retweet if you agree.

Three men are standing at the train station.

They are talking to each other and they don't even notice that the train already came and is now already moving. They all run towards the door, and two of them manage to jump on the train, but the third one stays on the platform. An observer comes to the man and says: wow, your friends are fast! The man responds: Yeah, but they were here just to escort me to the train!

What trading platform that won't let you trade?

A corrupted one.

Matthew McConaughey considering a run for Texas Governor.

He's planning to run on an alt-right, alt-right, alt-right platform.

Which social media platform vegans hate the most?

Google meet

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the platform rail jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working platform train piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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