Plate Jokes

181 plate jokes and hilarious plate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about plate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud at these hilarious plate jokes! Learn about the different types of plates, from tectonic plates to license plates, and the funny puns that could be made with them. Invite your friends over to make a plate collection, or take a trip to a bullfight with your silverware. Enjoy a night of entre-taining fun!

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jokes about plate

Best Short Plate Jokes

Short plate puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The plate humour may include short panel jokes also.

  1. What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him? Sorry, my fault.
  2. What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other? "Whoops, my fault"
  3. Guys come on, we shouldn't give fat people such a hard time. They have enough on their plate already.
  4. Why did Trump throw so many plates against the wall like a baby? He wanted to seem tough on china.
  5. My wife's car got stolen while she was out the other day. I said , Were you able to see what the guy looked like?
    She replied, No, but I got the license plate number!
  6. Listen guys, I know this sub is all in good fun, but I don't think it's right to be making dumb jokes about obese people. They already have enough on their plates.
  7. My wife's locked herself in the kitchen after we had a furious argument over how cheap and pennypinching I've become since we got married… She's in there now, ripping all the plates in half…
  8. Just realized I really like eggs Benedict when they're served on disposable dishes.. There's just no plates like foam for the Hollandaise
  9. It gets me very angry to see people fat-shaming Please guys, they have enough on their plate already
  10. My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
Plate joke, My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about plate can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of plate puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Plate One Liners

Which plate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with plate? I can suggest the ones about sheet and plan.

  1. Yo Mama so fat, when she breaks a plate… It's usually of the tectonic variety.
  2. Stop bullying fat people, it isn't funny They have enough on their plate anyway.
  3. Fat shaming is wrong. They have enough on their plate already
  4. For halloween I'm dressing up as a plate. Girls love to do dishes.
  5. It's not nice to make fun of the obese... ...They have enough on their plate.
  6. What did one plate say to the other? "Lunch is on me."
  7. Guys, don't make fun of fat people It's not as if they don't have enough on their plate
  8. One tectonic plate bumped into another and said "Sorry. My fault"
  9. Everyone should stop picking on fat people.. They have enough on their plate already
  10. What did the tectonic plate say when it had a collision? It's not my fault.
  11. What did the plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me
  12. We should stop making fun of fat people They have too much on their plate already
  13. What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into another? Whoops, my fault.
  14. Why is fatshaming people wrong? They already have a lot on their plate...
  15. What do you call two tectonic plates having a fight? Ground beef

Dinner Plate Jokes

Here is a list of funny dinner plate jokes and even better dinner plate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought. It's an extremely rare dish order.
  • Yo mama so FAT She eats her dinner off of the tectonic plates!
  • My girlfriend came up to me. She said, "Dinner tonight...On me."
    "Thanks," I said, "But I'd rather just use a plate."
  • What does the plate say when it's going out with it's friends? Dinner's on me
  • Where does a catcher sit down for dinner? Behind the plate
  • What did one plate say to the other on a date? Dinner is on me tonight
  • What did one plate say to his plate friend? Tonight, dinner's on me
  • Two plates go into a resteraunt One plate says to the other, " Don't worry I'll pay for the meal." The other plate replies, " No dinner is on me."
  • After a dinner party ...while taking plates to the kitchen my guest asked if the dishwasher was dirty.
    I said no, I believe she showered before dinner.
  • OCD My little cousin has been diagnosed with an unusual case of OCD where all he does all day is organise dinner plates by the year they were made,
    It's an extremely rare dish-order........

License Plate Jokes

Here is a list of funny license plate jokes and even better license plate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm getting really sick of these Amber Alerts... They either wake you up at three in the morning or broadcast your license plate to the whole world.
  • Dangerfield on Carson: : "One night my wife went out and her car was stolen" "I asked her 'did you see what he looked like?' She said, 'no but I got the license plate number.'"
  • A pickpocket is a victim of a motorcycle hit-and-run. A police officer comes to his aid.
    "Do you remember his license plate?" he asks.
    "No" says the pickpocket weakly, "but here's his wallet."
  • I got a new tag on my car On the front of my car, there's a license plate that says "Dodge."
    That's not the manufacturer, it's a suggestion.
  • Today I saw a license plate that said 420-fps Their is no joke I just want to share something cool but I have no friends
  • I want to try translating a Finnish joke to English and see if it works. What is the animal that steals license plates?
    - A turtle.
  • The first self driving commercial cars license plate should be... 'AFKBRB'
  • I just got a license plate that says "TRUMP" installed on my car... For some reason, the FBI keeps pulling me over.
  • How Can You Tell It's Fall In Florida? When the color of the license plates start to change.
  • What does the license plate of the sheep farmer say? Ewe haul.

Paper Plate Jokes

Here is a list of funny paper plate jokes and even better paper plate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
  • Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
  • I'm so poor... I just rinsed off a paper plate.
  • Yo momma's so poor, when she asked me over to dinner, I took a paper plate from the kitchen and she screamed, "Don't use the good china!"
  • Hey! Are these plates free? No, sorry they're paper plates
  • Your mamma so poor she washes paper plates.
  • Yo momma so poor ... She reuses paper plates
  • Wife: These paper plates are bent. Me: When you order from Amazon, shipping happens.
  • What do the majority of the people in the UK and a paper plate have in common? They're both w**....

Collection Plate Jokes

Here is a list of funny collection plate jokes and even better collection plate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My church decided to modernize and replace the collection plate with a digital platform Called Papal.
  • I asked my pastor why all the bibles in his church had reprinted the second gospel in an extra-large font. God told him the easier Marks, the larger the collection plate...

Tectonic Plate Jokes

Here is a list of funny tectonic plate jokes and even better tectonic plate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Geology rocks but geography is where it's at... What did the tectonic plates say when they bumped into each other?
    My fault, sorry!
  • What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake? That was your fault!!!
  • What did one tectonic plate say to the other when it bumped into it? Sorry, my fault.
  • Are tectonic plates dishwasher safe? Not sure, but they are great for a continental breakfast.
  • What is it called when two tectonic plates have a romantic relationship? Subduction!
  • What does the earth eat for breakfast? Continental breakfast, served on tectonic plates.
  • Tectonic Plates One tectonic plate said to the other, "I'm addicted to crack".
    The other said, "It's your fault"
  • Why do tectonic plates keep rubbing each other up without any reason? They have some dispute over whose fault it is.
  • What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast? ... a tectonic plate!
  • What sort of plate do you serve a continental breakfast on? Tectonic
Plate joke, What sort of plate do you serve a continental breakfast on?

Cheerful Fun Plate Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about plate you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean pond jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make plate prank.

Guys can we please stop making jokes about obesity?

They have enough on their plate already.

A man walks up to a counter and says . . .

A man walks up to a counter and says, "Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer."
"Ah," says the person behind the counter. "You must be Polish."
The customer becomes irate. "Now, just a minute," he says, "I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?"
"If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I'm Italian?"
"Well, no."
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I'm Irish?"
"Then why," said the customer, "are you assuming I'm Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?"
"Well . . . this is a hardware store."

What do you call a guy with a big orange nose?

Sir. The man has enough on his plate without being treated as a lesser individual by society.

Lost vulture

A young vulture flew away from his home for a bit and got lost on his way back. His parents searched and searched, but they couldn't find him. About a week later, he finally finds his way home, and his parents are so happy that they have a huge feast. His father places a plate in front of him loaded with his favorite foods. He asks his father "What's all this?" His father replies "Carrion, my wayward son."

You know I was thinking about not getting fat,

But I really had a lot on my plate at the time..

Just in time for the holidays

A guy goes back to his home town for Christmas, and he stops by the local diner to get his favorite breakfast, eggs Benedict. But he has a special request, he wants it served on a big shiny metal plate. The waiter doesn't understand why, so he asks him "Sir, why do you want eggs Benedict on a shiny metal plate?" And the man says "Because there's no place like chrome for the hollandaise."


While Mark was shopping for pet supplies, one of the salespeople came running up to him.
"Mark! Mark! I just saw someone driving off with your BMW!"
"OH NO! Did you try to stop him?"
"No, but dont worry. I got the license plate number!"

The hearing-aid

A man is dining in a restaurant and speaks to a waiter.
Man: Excuse me sir, I found a hearing-aid on my plate.
Waiter: What?

I've always said I'd go to Africa at some point in my life, and do what I could to help all the poor, starving children.

But I've just had so much on my plate recently.

A guy who won free buffets for life committed s**... the other day

I guess he had a lot on his plate.

Joke from the rabbi of one of the synagogues I went to.

A professional baseball player was very religious. So religious, in fact, that every time he stepped up to the plate he would cross himself.
During a particular game, he was facing a particularly impatient pitcher. The batter stepped out to cross himself, and the pitcher yelled out, "Hey! Why don't you just let God watch the game for once!?"

A famous armorer was called to court...

…to demonstrate his new plate design. He set it on a stand in the middle of a grand gallery. The king called in his executioner, a dour and muscular man who prided himself in his ability to slice folk exactly in half, to strike the suit. With a sonorous clang! the executioner's heavy sword bounced off of the chest piece. Frustrated, he pointed an accusatory finger at the armorer and cried This is why we can't halve nice things!

When ever I make Eggs Benedict, I always serve it on a hubcap.

Cause there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

There was a piece of cake in the fridge with a note on it that said, "Don't eat me."

Now there's an empty plate and a note, "I don't take orders from a cake."

I lost my job as a waiter

Apparently, I had insulted an infamous mafia boss by taking away his plate.
He told me he was Don

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

I would tell a joke about fat people,

But they have enough on their plate as it is.

We shouldn't bother fat people

They have enough on their plate already.

What's a terrible plate pun?

dish one.

At the restaurant with food still on my plate...

Server: "Do you wanna box for that"
Me: "No. It's not worth fighting for"

Donald Trump, a white worker , and a Mexican worker are sitting at a table.

A waiter comes over carrying 10 cookies on a plate. Before the waiter even gets a chance to set the plate on the table, Donald Trump reaches over and takes 9 cookies and stuffs them in his pocket. He then leans over to the white worker and says "watch out, that r**... is looking at your cookie."

What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes?


An Indian man is at home...

An Indian man is at home, cooking for his family. He is a very wealthy scientist, so he was able to purchase a tandoor. Tonight he decides to break it in. As he takes his bread out, he notices something strange. It almost falls apart in his hands. As he gets it on the plate, it turns into a viscous liquid. Amazed, he began trying to figure out what this was. After several minutes of keeping his family waiting, he let's out an audible "Aha!" He then proceeds to slam his fist onto the bread. Miraculously, the bread held together and almost seemed to form a solid.
"Just as I thought." He says.
"A Naan-Newtonian Fluid."

This is traditional food in my country!

"But Abdul, this plate is empty."
"__I know!__"

Guys, enough with the fat jokes..

Can't you see I've got enough on my plate already

I always eat Eggs Benedict on a foam plate

Because there's no plate like foam for the hollandaise.

A man goes to the dentist for a check-up

"Uh oh" the dentist says, "looks like your denture plate is eroding a bit. Have you been eating any new foods lately?"
The man thinks for a moment and says "you know, my wife has been using a lot of hollandaise sauce lately. She's been putting it on every dish."
"Ah, that explains it" the dentist replies. "We'll have to make you a new denture plate, but this one will need to be made of chrome."
"Chrome?" The man asks in surprise. "Why chrome?"
"Well, you know what they say", replies the dentist.
"There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise"

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his hometown for the holidays

After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?" The waiter says, "Well, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

Plateaus are...

...the highest form of geographical flattery.

A couple go to a restaurant...

And when their food arrives, the husband says
"Wow, this looks great! Let's dig in!"
Without another word, he starts devouring his plate. Meanwhile his wife glares disapprovingly at him.
"At Home, you *always* say grace"
Swallowing, the husband replies.
"Honey, that's at home. Here, the chef actually knows how to cook"

Ok guys seriously, can we stop with the obese jokes??

I mean they already have enough on their plate!

I burnt my hand on a round stove plate.

It was 360 degrees.

One tension plate bumps into another plate...

"Sorry, that was my fault!"

If there's no God...

...then who spins the plate in microwave?

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologised and said he didn't realise that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied: "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

I went to a hotel that had continental breakfast

Unfortunately the continent was Africa so all I got was an empty plate


they already have enough on their plate

My instructor asked me, "Can you read that car's license plate from here?"


A plateau

is the highest form of flattery.

I hate it when people make all these fat jokes to shame fat people

They have enough on their plate already

The evening after they were married, Harry set Meghan to work, polishing his set of Royal plate mail.

Well, she did say she always wanted a night in, shining armour.

When Princess Meghan confronted Prince Harry about spending their wedding evening polishing his plate mail...

Harry said, "What!? You told me, all you ever wanted was a night in, shining armour!"

I think we should stop shaming people if they're obese

they've already got enough on their plate to deal with.

A man walks into a buffet...

He puts a sausage on his plate, and his German friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, he adds a slice of pizza to his plate, and his Italian friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, the man has an incredible urge to sneeze. He reaches for a napkin and raises it up, and his French friend says "now you're speaking my language!".

If you know a fat person, leave them alone

They've already got a lot on their plate.

What do you call a pea that falls off your plate?

An Esca-pea!

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate already?

Cop spots a guy driving past with a South American plate. He's eating some kind of Mexican food and has no clothes on! He pulls him over and asks, "Where are you from? What are you eating? Aren't you cold?"

"Chilly", he replies.

Little Johnny

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
"Johnny, wait until we've said our prayer," his mother reminded him.
"I don't have to." the little boy replied.
"Of course you do." His mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating at our house"
"That's at our house," Johnny explained, "but this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"

What do you call 2 fat goths?

Morbidly obese.
I know I shouldnt joke about obese people they've got enough on their plate.

Why should you never give an obese person a hard time?

They already have enough on their plate.

"Mom, I don't like grandma..."

"Shut up and eat what's on your plate!"

Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man soup in a plate?

Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.

Grandma made a bet with John that if he didn't eat 25 dumplings, he would clean the apartment

John eats the 24th dumpling, but the 25th is not in the plate ... That's all you need to know about drafting contracts.

A guy comes home from work and he is clearly upset.

His wife looks concerned and asks him what's wrong. He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.
Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.
"Honey, what is it? I've never seen you like this before," the wife says.
"It's . . . nothing," he says. "I can't burden you with my problems. It wouldn't be fair."
"*Your* problems?" the wife says. "We are partners. We face everything together. Your problem is my problem. There is no I, just we. Now please, tell me, what is it?"
"Well," he says, looking up at her glumly. "we got our secretary pregnant and now she's suing us for support."

It is not nice to pick on the obese,

they have enough on their plate.

Mummy, Mummy, I hate daddy's guts

Then push them to the side of your plate!

An old man is at home on his death bed

When suddenly he smells something amazing. It's the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed, and he goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years, is cooking these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. And they are on a plate of four of them, just out of the oven. And with his last human strength, he reaches over to take one of the cookies, and his wife sees him, she rushes over, she slaps his hand, and she says, "No, they are for the f**...."

This is a portuguese joke so idk how well it will be in English but...

A man orders rice and beans in a restaurant. When his meal comes he notices a little fiber in his food and tells the waiter. The waiter then explains theres nothing to worry about, its just from the sack of beans. However the man still insists on getting another plate. The waiter, complying, yells out to the chef "yo beans, make another plate".

You should never fat-shame people

They've already got enough on their plate

2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.

One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".

Fat shaming is not cool

They have enough on their plate already.

Plate joke, Fat shaming is not cool

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these plate jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.