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Planting Tree Jokes

89 planting tree jokes and hilarious planting tree puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about planting tree that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Planting Tree Short Jokes

Short planting tree jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The planting tree humour may include short tree planted jokes also.

  1. Sherlock was gardening when Watson came over and asked what he was planting. "A lemon tree, Watson".
  2. If trees produced wifi we'd be planting them everywhere... ... too bad they only produce oxygen.
  3. I was looking through the living room window at the tree I'd just planted and I thought to myself "Why didn't I plant it out here in the garden?"
  4. Sherlock was working on his garden, when Watson walked over and asked what he was planting. "What are you planting?" said Watson.
    "It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson."
  5. They say money doesn't grow on trees But my cousin planted a few bushes with a funny smell in his wardrobe and is now making 4k a week
  6. Why did the French plant trees on either side of the road? So the Germans could march in the shade.
  7. Imagine if trees gave off Wi-Fi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too. Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath.
  8. Did you hear about the plant in Baton Rouge Louisiana thats been producing spanish food since the 11th century? It's a bayou tapas-tree.
  9. Who is the world's most avid environmentalist? Mrs. Hawking
    She planted trees, picked up litter, and married a vegetable.
  10. A joke from my dad when i showed him my new plant: "Hey thats a money tree!" Where did you get it, the dollar store?

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Planting Tree One Liners

Which planting tree one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with planting tree? I can suggest the ones about planting seeds and planting flowers.

  1. Why did the tree install solar panels? It wanted to be a power plant.
  2. My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree. I told him, "Grow a pear"!
  3. Why does the army plant saplings every year? To grow the infant-tree
  4. What do you call a tree planted by a very mean woman? A country
  5. What kind of plant contains every known element? A chemis-tree.
  6. What kind of plants grow in bathrooms? Toilet trees.
  7. I don't trust companies that plant trees It's such a shady business.
  8. What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other? The family tree.
  9. What do you call a boy tree that wants to be a girl tree? A Trans Plant
  10. Why do the French plant trees on their boulevards? So the Germans can march in the shade.
  11. Did you hear about the plant thief? He was arrested by the F-tree-I.
  12. What happens when a plant tries to take over its own forest? It comits *tree*son.
  13. Why did they plant trees in Harlem? Public transportation.
  14. Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn? To spruce things up a bit.
  15. A British army vehicle crashed into a tree... Some say the IRA planted it.

Planting Tree Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about planting tree you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean climbing tree jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make planting tree pranks.

Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.

A man sees two blonde workers in a field digging holes.

One worker is digging the holes, and the other one is following close behind filling the holes in.
After watching this go on for a while, the observer decides to ask them that they are doing.
"Excuse me sir, but I have to ask. Why are you simply digging holes and filling them back in?"
One of the workers yells out, "Ah, you see we normally have a 3rd member on our crew, but the man who plants the trees called in sick today!"

Two Mexican men have just crossed the border into the U.S.

They are now wandering through the Arizona desert. In short time, they become lost amongst the sand, praying for any sign of civilization. They spend days out there, and are on the verge of death from heat and starvation.
When suddenly, a shining oasis appears before them. The water is crystal clear and it is surrounded with lush foliage. And in the center is one specific tree. It is a majestic plant and from it's branches hang the most unexpected of things.
Bacon. Delicious, crispy bacon. Enough to feed a man for days. Without even thinking, one of the men bolts for the oasis, desperate for food and water. As he reaches the half way point, from behind the tree springs forth a man wielding a machine gun. The poor immigrant is gunned down and lays in the sand, dieing. His friend runs to him and says
> Miguel, are you alright? What happened to you?
To which the man responds, looking up at his friend with his dieing breath
> Pedro, it is not a bacon tree...it is a hambush.

2 Mexicans were walking through the desert...

It'd been more than a week since either of them had eaten anything, and their last bottle of water had just gone dry. They'd been walking for hours on end.
Suddenly on the horizon, one of the Mexican's spotted something. 'Look over there my friend, you see the green thing?'
His friend replies 'The thing with pink stuff on it'
Through the air a delicious salty, meaty aroma hit both their noses. They could see a large green, leafy shape in the distance, with pink slivers of what looked like greasy meat hanging from it.
'Yeah man, and you can smell it too!, amigo eetz a bacon tree!'
'AMIGO EETZ A BACON TREE! WE'RE SAVED!'
The Mexican who had first spotted the bacon tree on the horizon suddenly ran, as fast as his legs could carry him towards the plant in in the distance. When all of a sudden...
BANG! BANG! BANG! - Gunshots fired out, as if from nowhere
The other Mexican, who had not had the energy to run looked on to his friend, who lay bleeding and dying from his wounds
Barely able to mouth the words through lack of water the Mexican cried out to his dying friend. 'Amigo, what happened?'
With his last breath the dying Mexican warned his partner...
'Amigo, eetz no bacon tree, eetz a Ham Bush!'

There were two fellas working for the town council one day, walking through the park.

One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill it in. They worked furiously all day without rest, o**... digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I appreciate the effort you're putting into your work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it up again.
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, normally we're a three-man team, but the bloke who plants the trees is sick today."

Two men are working by the side of the road...

One digs a hole and the other fills it back up.
They do this several times until an old lady, who has been watching them, comes over and asks "What in the world are you two doing?"
One of the workers replies, "We work for the city, the guy that plants the trees is off sick today."

There were 2 blondes...

So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".

How do you improve the transportation system in Harlem?

Plant the trees closer together!

Today, the tree my family planted 15 years ago died and had to be cut down.

I'm mourning wood.

If a tree farm is planted next to a cornfield ...

and over time grows to steal sunlight from the cornfield, would that be farmed robbery?

Routines

Two guys are working for the city. As they went down the street, one would dig a hole--he would dig, dig, dig.
The other would come behind him and fill the hole--fill, fill, fill. The two worked furiously--one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.
A man watching them from the sidewalk couldn't believe how hard they were working, but he also couldn't understand what they were doing.
Finally, he said to the digger, I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole, and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!
The hole digger replied, Oh yeah. We must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today.

That orchard moment when you plant loads of apple trees

City workers

A passerby noticed a couple of city workers digging holes along the sidewalks.
The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but couldn't figure out what they were doing.
Finally, he approached the workers and asked, I appreciate how hard you're both working, but what the heck are you doing? One of you digs a hole, and the other guy immediately fills it back up again with dirt.
One of the workers explained: The guy who plants the trees called in sick today.

Why did the palm tree win the plant race?

It was the first to Sago.

What's a mathematician's favorite plant?

The geome-tree!

Two Irishmen were working for the city public works department.

p**... would dig a hole and m**... would follow behind him and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, p**... digging a hole, and m**... filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing.
So he asked p**..., I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it:why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?
p**... wiped his brow and sighed, Well, we're normally a three-person team, but today the lad who plants the trees called in sick .

What do you plant ...

What do you plant, to grow a really big plant that has nothing wrong with it?
Dyslexic acorns. They grow into A-ok trees.

Why did the oak tree get his girlfriend pregnant?

Because the state abolished plant parenthood

Give a r**... man a fish...

And he'll plant it and try to grow a fish tree.

Breaking new: Sonny Bono was actually murdered

The tree was planted

Two talking plants are having a conversation

One of them angrily says "Can you please stop telling all those horrible puns?!"
The other one responds by saying "What do you expect? I'm a jOAK tree!"

Today, in your honor, a tree was planted in Israel.

Thursday is your day to water it.

A man is waiting for a bus, when he sees a blonde across the street digging a hole...

...and another blonde immediately filling the hole back in with dirt. He watches as they move up the street doing this over and over again. The first blonde digs a hole, and the second one fills the dirt right back in. After a few minutes, he decides to ask them "excuse me, what are you ladies doing?"
"We're working" the first blonde replies.
"Just the two of you?" He inquires.
"Well" the second blonde chimes in, "there's usually three of us, but the girl that plants the trees called out sick"

Why did the harbinger plant four trees in the cemetery?

He liked to foreshadow death

Why do the French plant trees along the side of the road?

Because the Germans like to walk in the shade.

Mature plants will pollinate with any neighbouring plants if possible

This is known as Adult Tree.

50 Cent goes to a small town for a concert and meets the mayor.

The mayor, being a fan and trying to be casual, offers to show him around town. Before long, he realizes that 50 cent seems to be a little off, because he is asking the mayor to identify inanimate objects. He points to a sewer, and the mayor says, "Sewer." He points to a streetlight, and the mayor patiently says, "Streetlight." After 6 or 7 of these instances, 50 cent points to a lone birch planted in the sidewalk. The mayor says, "g**..., that's a Tree, Fiddy!"

Two men were going around the park.

One of them dug holes into the ground, then the other would fill them in, they did this for hours, went to a break for lunch, then, as they were about to get back at it, a boy walked up to them and asked why they were doing this.
One of them told the boy "We're planting trees."
"But you don't actually plant trees in the holes" the boy said.
"Oh, that's true! I dig holes, Steve plants a tree, and Bill fills them in." said one of them.
The other then replied "Yeah, but Steve called in sick today."

One day a teacher asked her students to use geometry in a sentence

The teacher was baffled that nobody could come up with just one sentence, and finally asked one quiet student in the back to say one... The student looked at her and said:
Once there was a little acorn and it was planted in the ground and grew and grew until one day he awoke and said "gee I'm a tree!"

Two Blondes were working down the road from a mans house.

One blonde (who was n**...) would take a shovel and dig a hole about 3-4 feet deep.
The second blonde (who didn't like cats) would then take the shovel and then put the dirt back in the hole.
They did this for about 4 hours on 6 different spots.
The man (who was left handed) was quite curious and went to the blondes and asked them what they were doing.
"There's usually another blonde who plants the tree but shes sick today"

By the book

Lady looks out her window and sees a couple of Parks and Recreation guys setting up cones before they start work.
They finish and o**... digs a big hole by the sidewalk.
He finishes, they chat and drink coffee, then he walks about 10 yards away and starts a second hole, meanwhile, the second guy begins filling in the first hole.
They finish, chat and drink coffee, then first guy digs third hole and second guy fills second hole.
She waits until they pause again and walks out to see what's going on.
"What are you guys doing?
"Well, lady, were supposed to be planting trees, but there isn't any budget to buy them, so the Union told us to get to work. So here we are."

Mark Zuckerberg tries to plant a tree, but falls over and crushes in face into the trunk

Face Plant (tm)

Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes' diverse set of skills, as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting...

To which Sherlock replied, Why, that's a lemon tree, my dear Watson.

If a former who grows corn wants to grow trees instead what kind of seed does he plant?

Acorn

I'm watching a film about a perennial plant that everyone wishes hadn't been chopped down.

It's a missed tree.

2man Team

Two Irishmen were working in the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.
After a while, one amazed onlooker said: "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."

I was walking through the park and seen two blondes

I was walking through the park and seen two blondes. One was digging a hole and the other was filling it in. I asked what was going on and they said there's usually three of us but the one who plants the tree in on the sick

Why wasn't the wise old willow tree surprised by any of the magician's tricks?

She was a plant.

What did the scientist plant for Christmas

A Chemis-tree

Did thanos go to school when he was a kid?

NO because if he did he would have known plants and trees are living creatures too.

So they've started planting trees actively nowadays.

Well that's a releaf

A guy is sitting on a park bench...

... when he notices something odd about two workmen by the side of the path. The first workman would dig a hole, then the second workman would fill the hole, and the pair would move along a few feet and repeat the process. He is intrigued and watches them a for few minutes, digging and filling holes. Eventually he can't stand it any more and gets up to talk to them.
"Excuse me," he says. ""I've been watching you a little while. Do you mind me asking what are you doing?"
The first workman looks up from his digging and replies, "Sure thing. We're planting trees, but Fred's off sick today."

A Rabbi, A Noose, A Sapling . . .

A young rabbi was out for a walk when he came across an older man sitting next to a newly-planted sapling. Around the man's neck was a noose, with the other end of the rope tied to one of the tree's twigs.
The rabbi greeted the man, then said, May I ask what you're doing?
What does it look like? answered the man, gruffly, I'm hanging myself!
But it will be years before this tree is strong enough to bear your weight, argued the rabbi.
The man shrugged, then asked, What's the rush?
(I wrote this joke for Tu B'Shevat, and I couldn't be prouder!)

Why are the trees planted so close together in Paris?

So the Germans could march in the shade.

A bricklayer, a gardener and an electrician

A bricklayer, a gardener and an electrician argue about whose job is the oldest
The bricklayer goes first: "You see, we were there already when the pyramids were being built!"
The gardener answers: "True, but we already planted the flowers and trees in the garden of Eden."
To that, the electrician says: "You are right! But when god said 'Let there by light', we already layed the cables!"

When I die, I want an almond tree seed to be planted with my body ...

and several years from then, when that tree is full grown, you can all e**... nuts.

A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks.....

He was quite impressed with their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing.
Finally, he approached the workers and asked, "I'm really impressed and appreciate how hard you're both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one of you keeps digging holes, and then the other one immediately fills them back again.
One of the city workers explained, "The third guy who plants the trees is off sick today."

Hated the view from my yard because of the tree...

So I called a tree guy to take it down. I asked him to remove the stump, and he said "Oh I can't, you have to call a stump guy."
So I call the stump guy, he takes out the stump, and I say "Aren't you gonna fill the hole?"
He said "Oh, no, you'll have to call a landscaper for that.
So I call the landscaper, and I'm in a rush for my flight and I tell him "Just make it look pretty."
I come back from vacation, and he's planted a tree.

A teacher to her students,

"Lets talk about associate, or association. It means things that go together. You can associate plants with soil, and birds with trees. Now, can anyone tell me what we can associate with fish? Yes, Tommy?"
Tommy: "Chips!"

Source: Adapated from a joke in a 1913 newspaper