Planting Seeds Jokes

42 planting seeds jokes and hilarious planting seeds puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about planting seeds that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Planting Seeds Short Jokes

Short planting seeds jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The planting seeds humour may include short planting flowers jokes also.

  1. This old man approached me. He said, "I planted some seed somewhere and I can't remember what allotment." "It's a synonym for 'many'," I replied, "but I can't help you with the first bit."
  2. I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face... when she scanned the packet of bird seed, and I asked her if she knew how long it took for the birds to grow once the seeds have been planted.
  3. This old man approached me. He said, "I planted some seeds somewhere and I can't remember what allotment."
    "It's a synonym for 'many', but I can't help you with the first bit."
  4. MrBeast sure is good at planting seeds Last time I saw someone spread their seed that successfully was when Ghengis Khan was around.
  5. I bought bird seed today. Can anyone tell me how long it takes for the birds to grow once I plant them?
  6. What's six and a half inches on average and very good for planting seeds? A garden trowel. Dirty mind much?
  7. I tried planting some seeds on myself... I wasn't into it at first, but now it's growing on me.
  8. Tim was planting a seed in the ground. Jack: What kind of a seed is it?
    Tim: A seed of doubt.
    Jack: That's The worst joke I've ever heard......Or maybe the best...
  9. This girl told me her boyfriend treated her like dirt. Does that mean he plowed you and planted his seed in you?
  10. A: What are you planting??? B: The seed of doubt.
    A: Dude, that's the worst joke I've ever heard!
    A: Or is it the best???

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Planting Seeds One Liners

Which planting seeds one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with planting seeds? I can suggest the ones about planting tree and seeds.

  1. I heard about this disorganized farmer... ...he was operating by the seed of his plants.
  2. the gay gardener he loved planting seeds
  3. What plant seed used in cooking is the most welcoming? Cumin
  4. Why does the farmer hate his job? because he has a deep-seeded hatred for planting.
  5. Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?
  6. What did Leonardo DiCaprio say when he planted a seed? Inception
  7. How to have s**... in minecraft Plant your seeds with a h**....
  8. I accidentally planted some m**... seeds on my farm It's all gone to p**...
  9. Why did the p**... head plant cheerios? He thought they were donut seeds.

Planting Seeds Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about planting seeds you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean growing plants jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make planting seeds pranks.

Mummy, how was I born?

A 10-year-old girl asks her mum, Mummy, how was I born**?**
The mother smiled and replied:
Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth & I took care of it every single day.
After a while, the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant.
So we took the plant, dried it, rolled it up, smoked it, and got so high that we forgot to wear a c**....

Mom, how did I come to this world?

A kid asked his mother:
\- Mom, how did I come to this world?
\- Me and your father planted a seed together - began telling the story the mother.
\- From that seed - she continued - we grew m**... plant, then smoked some w**... and had s**... on the washing machine...

A little girl asks her mum

A little girl asks her mum "mummy, how was I born" Her mother smiled and replied "once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful tiny seed. Your daddy planted it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. After a while the seed germinated and grew tall with many leaves until it became a lovely healthy plant. Then we dried it and smoked it and got so high we forgot to use a c**..."

Dad how are babies made?

Dad: Daddy plants a seed in mums tummy.
Daughter: Does mummy s**... the seed?
Dad: Only if she wants new shoes

A little girl asked her dad where babies come from.

Dad: "The daddy plants a seed in the mommy."
Little girl: "Does she s**... the seed?"
Dad: "Only if she wants a new dress."

What does a garden and a woman on h**... have in common?

They both grow vegetables when someone plants a seed in them.

When I die, I want an almond tree seed to be planted with my body ...

and several years from then, when that tree is full grown, you can all e**... nuts.

As a citizen from Baltic states

Hello Russia, my old friend
You've come to talk to me again
New SovietRussia vision softly creeping
You've spread your seeds while we were sleeping
And the vision that was planted in your brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

I was at WalMart to buy bird seed...

I was at WalMart to buy bird seed and with a straight face I asked the nice young lady that worked there:

My wife was showing me a really unique houseplant she was growing. When she first planted it, it was a male, and it produced pollen.

After a while, it stopped producing pollen and started making seeds. It had outgrown its p**..., so my wife wanted me to help her put it in a larger one. I said, Sure, I can help you transplant the transplant.

Home depot is the best brothel

The vacuum s**..., the fan blows, the hammer bangs and they have plenty of pots to plant your seed.

Can a man who sleeps with a p**... be called a farmer?

Because he uses a h**... to plant his seeds?

If apples come from apple seeds and tomatoes come from tomato seeds, how come nothing is sprouting from the bird seeds I planted?

How did I plant my seed in the gravel, you ask?

Why, I got my little rocks off, of course.

If a former who grows corn wants to grow trees instead what kind of seed does he plant?