Plank Jokes
49 plank jokes and hilarious plank puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about plank that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make the workout funny with these plank jokes! Get a laugh while you strengthen your core and build endurance. Our collection of silly and ornate jokes includes jokes from both the harbor and the pier. So put on a smile and get ready to walk the plank with laughter!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Plank Short Jokes
Short plank jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The plank humour may include short plaque jokes also.
- Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later.
- As a child I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
Courtesy of Gary Delaney - Why didn't the pirates bathe before walking the plank? They figured they'd wash up on shore later.
- My carpenter friend brought me a single plank of wood by 5 o'clock today. I was livid! "Whats wrong?" he asked.
"You told me you'd bring me 2 by 4!" - what did the plank of wood say as it lay abandoned and immobile in a field for 50 years? I'm board.
- Did you hear about the pirate who used to walk the plank every night? Well, he couldn't afford a dog.
- Someone asked my why I thought 'Planking' Died out... I said because people became board with it.
- My friend got mad at me after I kept hitting him with a wooden board. I told him, It's just a plank, bro.
It's just a plank. - What did the Pirate say to the plank as it was being installed on the ship? Welcome a Board!
(Inspired by a comment I left on another post, though I'm confident it's been posted many times before) - Why didn't the pirate take a shower before walking the plank? He'll just wash up on shore later.
Share These Plank Jokes With Friends
Plank One Liners
Which plank one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with plank? I can suggest the ones about plaice and plum.
- Pirates never shower before they walk the plank. They just wash up on shore afterward.
- When I was young, my parents made me walk the plank.. We were too poor for a dog.
- As a kid I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog
- What do you call a dead body and two planks? A "Build your own Jesus" kit.
- How do pirates stay in shape? They plank.
- Why do pirates have such good core strength? Planks
- What do you get when you cross a Jew with two planks of wood? Christianity
- Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.
- What is a pirate's favourite yoga pose? The plank!
- Why did the plank lose his job? He wasn't board certified
- Pirate builder: Captain, your ship is built. Pirate Captain: Planks a lot.
- What did the plank say to the tree? I'm board
- I was told to put two planks together I totally nailed it.
- Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank? Because they wash up on shore.
- What is both heavier and lighter than a plank? ...a plank-ton!
Walk The Plank Jokes
Here is a list of funny walk the plank jokes and even better walk the plank puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I need karma but here's a joke Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank
Cause they wash up on shore - Why doesn't a pirate take a shower before he walks the plank? 'Cause he'll just wash up on shore later.
- Have you heard about the guy who didn't want to walk the plank? He wasn't on board with it.
- As a child, I was forced to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog...
- When I Was Younger... I was made to walk the plank
My family couldn't afford a dog. - When I was a kid my parents use to make me walk the plank... we couldn't afford a dog
- Q: What did the emu say to the nurse?
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
Plank Exercise Jokes
Here is a list of funny plank exercise jokes and even better plank exercise puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A scientist figured out a way to freeze time. It involved having to perform special exercise, because
the planks constant.
Laughter Plank Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about plank you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean board jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make plank pranks.
I always wanted a skateboard.
So one day I asked my mom for a skateboard. She said no as it was too expensive. So I came up with an idea to resolve my problem - I grabbed a plank of wood and some nails.
And beat her to death.
Plank goes to a ball game
A small plank of wood goes to Watch a baseball game. For the first few innings, the plank is super into it. But by the seventh inning, its interest starts to fade.
A man nearby notices the fading enjoyment and starts up a conversation.
"Hey man, how you liking the game?" He asks.
"I really like it. I think it's pretty cool" the small plank replies.
"Really," says the man, "cuz it seems to me like you're a little board."
A man buys a house
The guy he buys it from says
"we printed out the deed but didn't have paper so we printed it on this plank of wood, will that be okay?"
"That wooden deed"
There is a university in Germany that continually searches for the biggest piece of wood
Its the Max Plank institute
