The Best 77 Planets Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Planets jokes. There are some planets nasa jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these planets captain planet puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Planets Jokes and Puns

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson....

...were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

What do planets read?

Comet books.

Scientist released new findings proving that there are now only seven planets in our solar system

after I destroyed Uranus.

Planets joke, Scientist released new findings proving that there are now only seven planets in our solar system

Physicist Frank Wilczek states that there is life on other planets...

Profesor Stephen Hawking maintains his position.

There will only be seven planets...

after I destroy Uranus

Whats the worst thing you can tell a girl on the first date?

There are only going to be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus

Do you think Earth makes fun of the other planets...

...because they have no life?

Planets joke, Do you think Earth makes fun of the other planets...

When our solar system was formed, the Sun was in charge...

So the planets started a revolution.

What did the scientist say to his hot assistant?

"There's only gonna be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus."

What do planets like read?

Comet books!

What do planets do to follow each other on SpaceTube?


You can explore planets uranus reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean planets pluto dad jokes. There are also planets puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Favourite pickup line...

Did you know there will be 7 planets tomorrow?

Because I am going to destroy Uranus tonight.

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could Plow thru Uranus because it's all gas

Why do all the other planets view the earth as the universes "biggest pushover?"

Because it lets 7 billion people walk all over it.

Are planets lollies?

The Planets

71% water + 29% land = Earth

100% land + 0% Chocolate = Mars

100% land + 0% Fertility = Venus

100% land and lava + 0% Freddy = Mercury

100% land + 0% Dog = Pluto

100% gas = Uranus

Planets joke, The Planets

[NSFW] Have you heard what scientists are saying?

That there's only gonna be seven planets after I destroy Uranus.

How does Galactus like his planets?

Thin crust.

Sherlock and Watson go camping

Sherlock and Dr. Watson go camping. They pitch their tent and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson and says: "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes asks, "And what do you deduce from that?" "Well, if there are millions of stars," Watson says, "there must be some with planets, and some of those planets must be like Earth. And if there are planets like Earth, there might be planets with life." And Holmes says, "Watson, you idiot, it means someone stole our tent."

A muffin and dough and are having a conversation.

And the muffin says, "Dude, everything is energy man; it's all energy swirling around. Good energy, and bad energy, and it all depends on what energy you tap into. It's like the planets and electrons and stuff; everything is swirling."
The dough replies, "Dude, you're baked."

Which songs do planets sing?


Do you know how many planets are in the solar system?

7, after I destroy Uranus.

How many planets are there in the solar system?

There used to be nine, then there was eight and when I'm done with Uranus there'll be seven.

If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today...

The solar system would need more planets for the title.

Why are all other planets so far from Earth?

Because Earth has worms.

Frieza might be the owner of several hundred planets, and he might be the tyrannical overlord of the universe

But his brother is Cooler

How many planets are there?

Guy: How many planets are there?
Girl: 8
Guy: Wrong, 7 after I destroy uranus

What does the recently discovered TRAPPIST-1 star with seven Earth-size planets orbiting it, and Tyrion Lannister have in common?

They are both ultra-cool dwarves.

NASA has turned to Twitter for help in naming the seven recently discovered earth-sized exo-planets...

I could think of seven pretty obvious names if only they had been dwarf planets.

NASA discovers 10 earth like planets.

Within a month of Trump taking office, NASA has discovered 10 earth like planets...

They say necessity is the mother of invention !!

My boyfriend asked me how many planets are in our solar system.

And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight."

My doctor informed me that they've found life on other planets...

He says there are worms living in Uranus.

Instead of trying to find intelligent life on other planets, NASA should...

...Try to find some in the White House. It might prove to be more of a challenge.

Earth went around the solar system asking the other planets for a stick of gum.

They all refused, but Earth still got one; Pluto shares its Orbit.

The council of Earth quickly came to regret putting a gastroenterologist in charge of conquering new planets..

All he wanted to do was colonize Uranus.

Why does Earth bully other planets?

Because they have no life.

Alone Guys and Girls

The known universe is made up of 50,000,000,000 galaxies. There are between 100,000,000,000 and 1,000,000,000,000 stars in a normal galaxy. In the Milky Way alone there might be as many 100 billion Earth-like planets. Still think you're alone?

Women are like planets...

It's hard to find ones in the habitable zone, and when you do, they're usually overrun with demons.

How many planets have you been to?

Two, Earth and Uranus.


An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set-up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father- "Look up to the sky and tell me what you see."
Son- "I see millions of stars."
Father- "And what does that tell you?"
Son- "Astronomically, it tells that there are millions of galaxies and planets."
Father slaps the son hard and says- "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent"

What did Earth say to the other planets?

Wow. You guys have no life.

NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system, but quit after Uranus

They found it to be a shithole.

We made learning so much easier for the younger generation.

They now have schools with smart devices, digital textbooks, and online courses.

We even reduced the planets down to eight.

Maybe the universe is like a giant party...

and the planets just awkwardly follow the sun around because they don't know anyone.

What type of college does planets go to?


Ba Dum Tss

I'm not saying my acne was bad at school, but when one boy asked the science teacher how many planets there were in the galaxy...

The teacher said, "Less than there are on his face."

How does NASA identify dead planets?

They look through the orbituaries.

8 year old asks if I want to hear his pickup line.

After tonight there are going to be 7 planets because I am going to destroy Uranus.

It's the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in Christmas crackers, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets.

The real joke is in the comets

Courtesy of my nephew... what music do planets listen to?


All 8 planets are singing Happy Birthday to the Sun and it sounds terrible.

Everyone turns to Earth and Earth says, "don't look at me, I'm not flat"

What do planets say in winter?

We're freezing our axis of.

All the planets are named after gods, except Earth...

That's named after the stuff on the ground.

Click here

There are 8 planets in the universe, but only 7 after I destroy Uranus.

Why do we have planets so far away from the sun?

Because you wouldn't want to burn Uranus.

A 3rd grader was giving a presentation on the planets. He got stumped and whispered to his Dad 'What's this one?' Father says 'Uranus.'

The kid looks proudly to the class and says 'This is my anus.'

Do you like planets ?

I'm asking, because I like Uranus

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

Did you know there will only be 7 planets tomorrow?

Because *I'm going* to *destroy* Uranus

Why are the planets scared of Jupiter?

Jupiter Saturn Uranus.

Are you ready to have only 7 planets left?

Because im about to destroy Uranus.

Why do all planets want to date black holes?

Because they're so attractive!

Scientists have found some planets to be edible

I guess now I can eat Uranus

Why do Reddit astrologers not try to divine humor from the movement of planets?

Because the real joke is in the comets!

What do you call angry planets?

Negative Space

Mike and jake went camping...

They put the tent up and went to sleep

Mike woke up and said: hey look at the sky what do you see

Jake: I see the stars

Mike: what does that mean

Jake: the universe is huge and it has all these stars and planets around them

Mike: no the tent is stolen

What kind of music do planets like?


Kids Argue who's dad is tallest!

Three kids showing off whos dad is tallest,

Kid 1 : my dad is as tall as empire state building.

Kid 2 : oh yeah? Well my dad is taller than the sky, even higher than the moon.

Kid 3: oh yeah? Does your dad reach and touch the planets up there?

Kid 2 : yeah of course

Kid 3: those are my dads balls.

Did you know that all the planets in the solar system are named after a god,

Except earth, which is named after all that stuff on the ground.

In the 80's we used to think in 2020 we'll have flying cars cities on other planets, blah blah blah....

But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash hands !!!

Best/worst pick up line

You know there are 8 planets in the solar system but soon there'll be only 7 after I destroy Uranus

Why was the astronomer so good at finding new planets?

He was out standing in his field

Sherlock Holmes and Watson went camping

They set up their tent under the starry night sky.

In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes up his friend and says, "Watson look up at the stars and tell me what you can deduce."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars, and if even if only a few of them have planets, it's quite likely that some of them are exactly Earth-like planets. And if there are a few Earth-like planets, there might be life."

Holmes then replies, "Watson, you idiot! Someone stole our tent."

What is Earth's favorite pastime?

Making fun of other planets for having no life.

What did the earth say to other planets?

Get a life.

Everyone knows about Darth Vader, but very few people talk about his wife.

Ella wasn't great at conquering planets but she did make it easier to navigate the Death Star.

We really should look into colonizing Mars and other planets or moons

If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the planets comet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working planets planet fitness piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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