Planet Jokes
173 planet jokes and hilarious planet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about planet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh with the funniest, silliest, and craziest planet jokes about Earth, Mars, Venus, Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Planet Kolob, and even Planet Fitness, Beer, and Probes! Whether you're on a mission to another planet or just staring into space, we have jokes for space and astronomy lovers alike!
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Funniest Planet Short Jokes
Short planet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The planet humour may include short earth jokes also.
- Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno mars all walked into the same bar. They didn't planet.
- What's a gay man's favorite planet? Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars.
- Scientists have finally figured out what happened to all the water that used be Mars Turns out, the planet was once occupied by Nestle
- Everyone knows about Darth Vader, but very few people talk about his wife. ella wasn't great at conquering planets but she did make it easier to navigate the Death Star.
- If Bruno Mars married Venus Williams on Earth, do you think they'd have a Sun? Only if they planet.
- Earth is the third planet from the sun. By this logic, all countries are third world countries
- If Earth is the third planet from Sun after mercury and Venus Doesn't that make every country a third world country?
- I'm not racist, but... If I could put an end to any race on the entire planet, I'd get rid of the marathon.
- Freddy Mercury, venus Williams Williams Bruno Mars all happened to walk into the same bar. But they didn't planet that way.
- We should start calling the planet "unborn baby" maybe then republicans would want to save it.
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Planet One Liners
Which planet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with planet? I can suggest the ones about orbit and mars.
- "Dad, why are there no jews on jupiter?" "Because its a gas planet son"
- How do astronauts make sure their mission goes smoothly? They planet.
- Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robot. They call it Mars.
- How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun?
Planet - What is the scariest planet in Star Wars? Na-BOO!
- Do you think Earth makes fun of the other planets... ...because they have no life?
- What did Earth say to the other planets? Wow. You guys have no life.
- Why did pluto have such a terrible vacation? Because he didn't planet well.
- What is Earth's favorite pastime? Making fun of other planets for having no life.
- What the the planet jupiter say to Neptune? I can see Uranus from here.
- Why do planets never get invited to summer soirées? They always try to eclipse the fun.
- How do you organize a party in outer space? You planet.
- Do you know why astronomers named the planet "Saturn?" It just had a nice ring to it.
- How does earth and mars schedule a vacation They planet
- Saturn is a really catchy name for a planet. It has a ring to it.
Planet Earth Jokes
Here is a list of funny planet earth jokes and even better planet earth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Earth, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter were going to setup a party But they failed because nobody knew how to planet
- There must be another planet somewhere with worms. Otherwise why would we call ours Earth worms
- Earth is the best planet... The mere rotation of it makes my day!
- NASA discovers 10 earth like planets. Within a month of Trump taking office, NASA has discovered 10 earth like planets...
They say necessity is the mother of invention !! - If the earth is the third planet from the sun.. Wouldn't that make all countries third world countries?
- The Planets 71% water + 29% land = Earth
100% land + 0% Chocolate = Mars
100% land + 0% Fertility = Venus
100% land and lava + 0% Freddy = Mercury
100% land + 0% Dog = Pluto
100% gas = Uranus - 250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury No, I'm not fat. I'm just not on the right planet.
- All 8 planets are singing Happy Birthday to the Sun and it sounds terrible. Everyone turns to Earth and Earth says, "don't look at me, I'm not flat"
- Why does Earth bully other planets? Because they have no life.
- I wanted to throw an earth day party... But I forgot to planet
Uranus Planet Jokes
Here is a list of funny uranus planet jokes and even better uranus planet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My boyfriend asked me how many planets are in our solar system. And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight." - My doctor informed me that they've found life on other planets... He says there are worms living in Uranus.
- Scientist released new findings proving that there are now only seven planets in our solar system after I destroyed Uranus.
- What did the scientist say to his hot assistant? "There's only gonna be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus."
- Favourite pickup line... Did you know there will be 7 planets tomorrow?
Because I am going to destroy Uranus tonight. - On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest... So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too...
- Talking about planets with my nephew. He asked if you could Plow thru Uranus because it's all gas
- Why are the planets scared of Jupiter? Jupiter Saturn Uranus.
- Uranus, Earth, and Pluto decide to throw a party. Earth: so how are we going to do this?
Pluto: don't ask me. I don't know how to Plan-et. - Best/worst pick up line You know there are 8 planets in the solar system but soon there'll be only 7 after I destroy Uranus
Planet Mars Jokes
Here is a list of funny planet mars jokes and even better planet mars puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today... The solar system would need more planets for the title.
- BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat.
- Bruno Mars, Venus Williams and Freddie Mercury walk into a bar But they didn't planet that way
- We really should look into colonizing Mars and other planets or moons If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.
- How do they organize a party on Mars? They planet.
My five year old told me this today. - We've sent multiple rovers too mars but mars hasn't sent any back. It's about time we play red rover with another planet
- TIL the Mars rover Opportunity found a small mammal on the planet that appeared to be related to the opossum. Unfortunately, the rover Spirit had run over it the day before.
- The Mars mission should include an artist to capture the alien planet The art would be out of this world.
- If You weigh 200 pounds on the Earth it is only 76 pounds on the Mars, and it means You are not fat but you are just on the wrong planet.
- What do you do if you want to take a trip to Mars? You "planet."
Planet Jupiter Jokes
Here is a list of funny planet jupiter jokes and even better planet jupiter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- They should call Jupiter JEWpiter Because its a gas planet.
- The entire crew of the first manned mission to Jupiter died upon reaching the planet... I guess nobody quite understood the gravity of the situation.
- When did scientists realize that Jupiter had no solid ground? When they saw the hole planet.
- Why is the planet next to Jupiter so small? Because it was Sat-urn
- Petition to rename Jupiter ...to Jewpiter because its a gas planet
- What planet is large and gassy? Jupiter. What did you think I would say?
- Why did they rename Jupiter Jewspuiter? Because it's a gas planet.
- Why are all the planets attracted to Jupiter? Because it has a huge mass.
- We should rename Jupiter to... Jewpitrer because it's a gas planet.
- What did Jupiter say to Saturn when he found out Saturn was pregnant? Did you planet?
Planet Fitness Jokes
Here is a list of funny planet fitness jokes and even better planet fitness puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where does a four hundred pound alien go for exercise? Planet Fitness
- LPT: If you couldn't fit all of the planets in the planetary alignment in one shot Try backing up a bit
- Yo momma so fat When she joined Plant Fitness, they changed its name to just "Planet".
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Planet Jokes
What funny jokes about planet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sphere jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make planet pranks.
Blonde vs. Space
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were taking a tour inside of NASA space center. The tour-guide asked them "What planet or other object in our universe would you go to?"
The red head said. "I'd go to Saturn!"
The brunette said, "I'd go to the Moon!"
The blonde said "I'd go to the Sun!"
The tour-guide looked at the blonde. "But if you go the Sun, you'll burn up and die."
The blonde rolled her eyes and replied calmly. "What, do you think I'm s**...? I'd go at night!"
How do you organize an intergalactic party?
You planet
How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
Sorry.
Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?
The orbituaries.
My favorite name for a planet is Saturn...
it has a nice ring to it.
Out in space two alien life forms are speaking with each other.
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."
You can be the most beautiful woman on the planet but if you can't cook
don't worry I can
One in every six people on this planet are Chinese.
Of my five brothers, I suspect Danny.
So 2 astronomers decided to throw a party
They sit down for lunch and one of them says: ok, let's planet
What's h**...'s least favorite planet?
Jewpiter
I started dating an astronaut. It happened out of nowhere.
I did not planet.
What's a space pirate's favorite planet?
mArrrs!
How does NASA organize their company parties?
They planet.
[Please take pity on me i am very unfunny :(]
Was the discovery of a new planet an accident?
or did they planet
There are two types of countries on this planet
ones that use the metric system and the one that got to the moon
Why did Pluto miss the solar system party.
He didn't planet right
I went up to Serena Williams.
I said, "Serena, what's your favourite planet?"
She said, "It's Venus."
I said, "Oh sorry, Venus, what's your favourite planet?"
A planet died today
I read about it in the orbituaries.
Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
**They planet.**
How does NASA throw a holiday party?
They planet.
Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?
Because he's not a planet.
An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.
Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.
Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?
Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.
What if dinosaur bones were only found on Earth...
Because aliens used this planet as a pet cemetery?
From the time it was discovered to the time it was declassified as a planet, pluto did not make a full revolution around the sun.
It was a tough year.
How can you ensure you visit outer space someday?
Planet.
I ran into a NASA scientist one day...
...and I say to him, "Your job seems so tough. I'd love to traverse the solar system, but I wouldn't even know where to begin..."
He says, "It's easy... you just planet."
So I took his advice and went on a trip around the Sun. It lasted a year and I had a pretty good time. But if I had to rate it, I'd only give it one star.
Jupiter heard from Neptune that Pluto was pregnant.
Jupiter said to Pluto "Congratulations! I was surprised to hear that you're expecting!"
To which Pluto replied "Thanks. Yeah, I definitely didn't planet!"
So aliens flew by our planet recently and one asked the other...
Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?
Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.
Alien 1 Oh boy... That's pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.
Alien 2 Nah, they're not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.
Alien 1: The dominant life form on planet earth have developed satellite based nuclear weapons.
Alien 2: Are they an emerging intelligence?
Alien 1: I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves.
Why is Venus named after the Roman goddess of beauty?
Because it's the hottest planet in our solar system
What was the money called on Superman's home planet?
Kryptoncurrency
How do people at NASA organise a party?
They planet!
In space, two aliens are talking to each other very closely
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"
The latest report from Mars indicates the presence of large ring structures of precious stones and a dusting of glitter almost everywhere
Apparently, efforts are underway to tiara-form the planet.
(I do apologize for this. I happen to hear someone pronounce this word rather frequently and this is what I keep imagining they are meaning. Along with some deposits of sass, pageantry and frills.)
In the 2001 film "The Planet of the Apes" David Warner plays a primate named Senator Sandar
which means the whole planet is probably a Banana Republic
Two Aliens
2 aliens are talking in outer space, looking down on Earth.
"It seems the inhabitants of planet Earth have created nuclear technology and missiles" says one alien
"are they showing signs of intelligence?" asks the other
"I dont think so. They seem to be aiming at themselves"
Aliens and Humans
"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?
Human: we are an advanced species
A: how do you travel?
H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"
How does NASA get away with m**...?
They planet
I called Serena Williams. I said, Serena, what's your favorite planet?
She said, It's Venus.
Me: I'm sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?
What is Hitlers least favourite planet?
Jewpiter
200Years in the future.
A team of the smartest people on earth go to a distant planet, believed to have life. When they land they're greeted by 3aliens. They speak perfect english.
"Leave outsiders. This is our home planet, only trusted individuals are allowed here!"
The space group is quite surprised by this. Most of them think about turning back and going to earth. When one man in the back of the group, Unseen by the aliens, Shows himself. Upon his sight the aliens appear to become much more peaceful with the humans.
"Oh you brought Dave with you! Why didn't you say so."
Google has decided to heavily push a save the planet program.
They're making Al-Gore-ithms to help speed things along.
How do you organise a party in space?
"You planet"
Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto walk into a bar.
After sitting down, Jupiter says: "I'm the biggest planet, give me the biggest beer you have."
Saturn says: "I'm the best looking planet, give me the fanciest drink you have."
Pluto says: "I know I'm not a planet, but give me a shot."
We all can do better to help save the planet
With this in mind, i've just published a book on preserving the rainforest, and what we can do as a human race to help protect it.
Its over 2000 pages long.
Maybe Jesus didn't like your chocolates
So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice. There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.
The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?"
The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!"
The Pope exclaims, "Every couple of years?? What!!?? We're still waiting for his second coming!"
The alien replies, "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?"
The Pope is flabbergasted, "What does chocolate have to do with anything?"
The alien says, "Well when he came the first time, we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys give him?"
A very very Very old joke :)
What did the meteor say to the planet?
Lemme smash
What was h**...'s least favorite planet?
Jupiter
Why is there never a food shortage on the planet of Tatooine?
Because of the abundance of sand which is there.
Aliens come to earth...
They meet with all the world leaders. Eventually it's the Pope's turn to chat to them. He asks the one alien, Greetings alien, what do you think of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?
The alien exclaims, Ah, JC! He's my boy! We have a massive party when he visits us once a year!
He visits you once a year? The Pope asks in astonishment. He hasn't been to earth in more than two millennia! How did you manage that?!
Well, when he first came to our planet we gave him a box of our finest chocolates. What did you guys do?
They say one out of every 5 people on the planet is Chinese.
The thing is, there's 5 people in my family. On of us must be Chinese.
I know it can't be me. I'm pretty sure it's not my mon or dad.
That leaves my brothers: Shawn, and Zhang Wei.
Whispers: *I think it's Shawn...*
How do you memorialize the death of a planet?
You write an orbituary.
Isn't it crazy every planet is named after a Greek God except for earth?
It's just named after that stuff on the ground.
I have a space pun
But i need a little more time to planet
