Planet Jokes

What are some Planet jokes?

Out in space two alien life forms are speaking with each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."

In space, two aliens are talking to each other very closely

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

What's a gay man's favorite planet?

Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars.

"Dad, why are there no jews on jupiter?"

"Because its a gas planet son"

Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robots.

They call it Mars.

How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun?

Planet

So aliens flew by our planet recently and one asked the other...

Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?

Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.

Alien 1 Oh boy... That's pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.

Alien 2 Nah, they're not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.

If Bruno Mars married Venus Williams on Earth, do you think they'd have a Sun?

Only if they planet.

If Earth is the third planet from Sun after Mercury and Venus

Doesn't that make every country a third world country?

An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.

Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.

Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?

Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.

Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto walk into a bar.

After sitting down, Jupiter says: "I'm the biggest planet, give me the biggest beer you have."

Saturn says: "I'm the best looking planet, give me the fanciest drink you have."

Pluto says: "I know I'm not a planet, but give me a shot."

We should start calling the planet "unborn baby"

maybe then republicans would want to save it.

200Years in the future.

A team of the smartest people on earth go to a distant planet, believed to have life. When they land they're greeted by 3aliens. They speak perfect english.

"Leave outsiders. This is our home planet, only trusted individuals are allowed here!"

The space group is quite surprised by this. Most of them think about turning back and going to earth. When one man in the back of the group, Unseen by the aliens, Shows himself. Upon his sight the aliens appear to become much more peaceful with the humans.

"Oh you brought Dave with you! Why didn't you say so."

Cheesy Jokes/ Lame Jokes. They make my day.

How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.

Why did the cookie go to hospital?
Because he was feeling a little crummy.

Why was the mushroom happy?
Because he was a fungi.

How do you organise a party in space?
You planet.

How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with.

Hear about the Italian chef?
He pasta way.

What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing they just waved.

Did you hear about the movie constipated?
It never came out.

How do you organize a party in outer space?

You planet.

Do you know why astronomers named the planet "Saturn?"

It just had a nice ring to it.

I went up to Serena Williams.

I said, "Serena, what's your favourite planet?"

She said, "It's Venus."

I said, "Oh sorry, Venus, what's your favourite planet?"

Saturn is a really catchy name for a planet.

It has a ring to it.

What's Hitler's least favorite planet?

Jewpiter

Earth is the best planet...

The mere rotation of it makes my day!

Earth, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter were going to setup a party

But they failed because nobody knew how to planet

I ran into a NASA scientist one day...

...and I say to him, "Your job seems so tough. I'd love to traverse the solar system, but I wouldn't even know where to begin..."

He says, "It's easy... you just planet."

So I took his advice and went on a trip around the Sun. It lasted a year and I had a pretty good time. But if I had to rate it, I'd only give it one star.

Q: How do astronomers organize a party?

**They planet.**

How does NASA throw a holiday party?

They planet.

How can you ensure you visit outer space someday?

Planet.

All 8 planets are singing Happy Birthday to the Sun and it sounds terrible.

Everyone turns to Earth and Earth says, "don't look at me, I'm not flat"

Aliens and Humans

"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?

Human: we are an advanced species

A: how do you travel?

H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"

Jupiter heard from Neptune that Pluto was pregnant.

Jupiter said to Pluto "Congratulations! I was surprised to hear that you're expecting!"

To which Pluto replied "Thanks. Yeah, I definitely didn't planet!"

You can be the most beautiful woman on the planet but if you can't cook

don't worry I can

How does NASA organize their company parties?

They planet.


[Please take pity on me i am very unfunny :(]

How do you organize an intergalactic party?

You planet

Blonde vs. Space

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were taking a tour inside of NASA space center. The tour-guide asked them "What planet or other object in our universe would you go to?"

The red head said. "I'd go to Saturn!"

The brunette said, "I'd go to the Moon!"

The blonde said "I'd go to the Sun!"

The tour-guide looked at the blonde. "But if you go the Sun, you'll burn up and die."

The blonde rolled her eyes and replied calmly. "What, do you think I'm stupid? I'd go at night!"

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.

Alien 1: The dominant life form on planet earth have developed satellite based nuclear weapons.

Alien 2: Are they an emerging intelligence?

Alien 1: I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves.

From the time it was discovered to the time it was declassified as a planet, pluto did not make a full revolution around the sun.

It was a tough year.

My favorite name for a planet is Saturn...

it has a nice ring to it.

How does NASA get away with murder?

They planet

BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet

Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat.

How do you organise a party in space?

"You planet"

What is Hitlers least favourite planet?

Jewpiter

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

Sorry.

What the the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?

I can see Uranus from here.

Bruno Mars, Venus Williams and Freddie Mercury walk into a bar

But they didn't planet that way

What was the money called on Superman's home planet?

Kryptoncurrency

Bear and rabbit get wishes

Bear and rabbit were just walking through the forest, as a fairy apearred. it granted both 3 wishes.
bears first wish was, to make every bear girl in this forest like only him. the rabbit on the other hand just wanted a very fast harley.
second wish from bear was that every bear girl on the whole planet should only like him. the rabbit wanted a helmet with ear holes.
as for the last wish the bear wanted every bear on earth to be female and to like him.
the rabbit had other plans though. he had put on his helmet, sat on his bike, started the engine and yelled as he was driving away: "I want the bear to be gay!".

I wanted to throw an earth day party...

But I forgot to planet

I called Serena Williams. I said, Serena, what's your favorite planet?

She said, It's Venus.

Me: I'm sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?

Two Aliens

2 aliens are talking in outer space, looking down on Earth.

"It seems the inhabitants of planet Earth have created nuclear technology and missiles" says one alien

"are they showing signs of intelligence?" asks the other

"I dont think so. They seem to be aiming at themselves"

What's a space pirate's favorite planet?

mArrrs!

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?

Because he's not a planet.

A planet died today

I read about it in the orbituaries.

They should call Jupiter JEWpiter

Because its a gas planet.

How do people at NASA organise a party?

They planet!

Google has decided to heavily push a save the planet program.

They're making Al-Gore-ithms to help speed things along.

What if dinosaur bones were only found on Earth...

Because aliens used this planet as a pet cemetery?

Why did Pluto miss the solar system party.

He didn't planet right

Was the discovery of a new planet an accident?

or did they planet

So 2 astronomers decided to throw a party

They sit down for lunch and one of them says: ok, let's planet

The latest report from Mars indicates the presence of large ring structures of precious stones and a dusting of glitter almost everywhere

Apparently, efforts are underway to tiara-form the planet.


(I do apologize for this. I happen to hear someone pronounce this word rather frequently and this is what I keep imagining they are meaning. Along with some deposits of sass, pageantry and frills.)

I started dating an astronaut. It happened out of nowhere.

I did not planet.

Call Captain Planet

The residents of a town are fed up with all of the pollution from factories, littering, and toxic waste.

Finally, a townsperson says, "We need Captain Planet!"

A moment later, a superhero looking dude shows up and says, "Did someone summon me?

The townspeople rejoice, and cheer for their new savior.

The superhero gathers everyone together and puts together a basic strategy to fight the pollution.

Then he says, "Have fun, I'm outta here."

The townspeople are confused and ask him, "Well wait, when do you start doing all this?"

He replies, "Me? I don't do anything. You called for Captain Plan-it"

There are two types of countries on this planet

ones that use the metric system and the one that got to the moon

How does the universe throw a party?

They planet.

Why is Venus named after the Roman goddess of beauty?

Because it's the hottest planet in our solar system

In the 2001 film "The Planet of the Apes" David Warner plays a primate named Senator Sandar

which means the whole planet is probably a Banana Republic

Why are the planets scared of Jupiter?

Jupiter Saturn Uranus.

One in every six people on this planet are Chinese.

Of my five brothers, I suspect Danny.

A committee has narrowed the search for a name for the newly hypothesised 9th planet.

It's between Urpenis and Urvagina.

If I had a dollar for every time someone used the wrong "they're"...

Their wouldn't be enough money on the planet.

Uranus, Earth, and Pluto decide to throw a party.

Earth: so how are we going to do this?

Pluto: don't ask me. I don't know how to Plan-et.

We all can do better to help save the planet

With this in mind, i've just published a book on preserving the rainforest, and what we can do as a human race to help protect it.

Its over 2000 pages long.

On this planet...

Every 10 seconds... there is a woman giving birth to a child.

She must be found and stopped!

I think it's dumb when people say all Americans are ignorant of geopolitics.

I mean, how could everyone on the planet be ignorant?

How to make Planet puns?

We have collected gags and puns about Planet to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Planet? If Yes here are a lot more one liners and funny Planet pick up lines to share with friends.

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