planet Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious planet puns

Out in space two alien life forms are speaking with each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."

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In space, two aliens are talking to each other

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

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In space, two aliens are talking to each other very closely

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

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What's a gay man's favorite planet?

Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars.

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Intelligent life?

In space, two aliens are talking to each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."

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"Dad, why are there no jews on jupiter?"

"Because its a gas planet son"

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Out in space, two alien life forms are speaking with each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet appear to have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."

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Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robots.

They call it Mars.

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How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun?

Planet

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Out in space, 2 aliens are talking to eachother...

The first alien says, *"The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."*

The second alien asks, *"Are they an emerging intelligence?"*

The first alien responds, *"Hmm...I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"*

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So aliens flew by our planet recently and one asked the other...

Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?

Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.

Alien 1 Oh boy... That's pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.

Alien 2 Nah, they're not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.

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If Bruno Mars married Venus Williams on Earth, do you think they'd have a Sun?

Only if they planet.

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There are two types of people on the planet...

Those who can extrapolate information based upon the given context

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If Earth is the third planet from Sun after Mercury and Venus

Doesn't that make every country a third world country?

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An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.

Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.

Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?

Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.

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God couldn't decide where to go for a holiday

The angels suggested the the planet Venus.
"Too hot," said god.

Then they suggested Pluto?
"Too cold," said god.

What about planet Earth they wondered.
"Hell no," said god. I was down there about 2,000 years ago. Slept with some woman named Mary - and they're still talking about it!"

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Why is milk the fastest liquid on the Planet?

It's PASTEURISED before you even see it!

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We should start calling the planet "unborn baby"

maybe then republicans would want to save it.

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200Years in the future.

A team of the smartest people on earth go to a distant planet, believed to have life. When they land they're greeted by 3aliens. They speak perfect english.

"Leave outsiders. This is our home planet, only trusted individuals are allowed here!"

The space group is quite surprised by this. Most of them think about turning back and going to earth. When one man in the back of the group, Unseen by the aliens, Shows himself. Upon his sight the aliens appear to become much more peaceful with the humans.

"Oh you brought Dave with you! Why didn't you say so."

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Cheesy Jokes/ Lame Jokes. They make my day.

How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.

Why did the cookie go to hospital?
Because he was feeling a little crummy.

Why was the mushroom happy?
Because he was a fungi.

How do you organise a party in space?
You planet.

How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with.

Hear about the Italian chef?
He pasta way.

What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing they just waved.

Did you hear about the movie constipated?
It never came out.

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How do you organize a party in outer space?

You planet.

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I can't wait until humans move to a new planet and someone says, 'Remember having 24-hour days?'

and some jerk responds, 'First world problems.'

-Geoffrey Asmus

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Do you know why astronomers named the planet "Saturn?"

It just had a nice ring to it.

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I went up to Serena Williams.

I said, "Serena, what's your favourite planet?"

She said, "It's Venus."

I said, "Oh sorry, Venus, what's your favourite planet?"

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Saturn is a really catchy name for a planet.

It has a ring to it.

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What's Hitler's least favorite planet?

Jewpiter

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Earth is the best planet...

The mere rotation of it makes my day!

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Earth, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter were going to setup a party

But they failed because nobody knew how to planet

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I ran into a NASA scientist one day...

...and I say to him, "Your job seems so tough. I'd love to traverse the solar system, but I wouldn't even know where to begin..."

He says, "It's easy... you just planet."

So I took his advice and went on a trip around the Sun. It lasted a year and I had a pretty good time. But if I had to rate it, I'd only give it one star.

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Q: How do astronomers organize a party?

**They planet.**

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How does NASA throw a holiday party?

They planet.

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Two aliens are speaking with each other in outer space, inspecting Earth

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons".

The second alien looks at the first and inquires, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien replies, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves.

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How can you ensure you visit outer space someday?

Planet.

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All 8 planets are singing Happy Birthday to the Sun and it sounds terrible.

Everyone turns to Earth and Earth says, "don't look at me, I'm not flat"

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Aliens and Humans

"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?

Human: we are an advanced species

A: how do you travel?

H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"

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What are the most funny Planet jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Planet? Well, here are the best Planet dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Planet pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes