Plane Crash Jokes
143 plane crash jokes and hilarious plane crash puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about plane crash that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Plane Crash Short Jokes
Short plane crash jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The plane crash humour may include short airplane crash jokes also.
- If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive? American comedy films.
- Did you hear about the plane that crashed into the trampoline factory? Witnesses heard a loud Boeing!
- Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than- -crashed submarines in the sky.
- Did you hear about the plane that crashed on the way to the ginger convention? Thankfully there were no souls on board.
- So, there's a plane... So there's a plane. The plane crashes, and every single person dies. However, a man goes home and tells his wife about it. How is this possible?
He wasn't single. - Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot? He crashed his plane onto his brothers scrap metal yard.
- A small plane crashed into a cemetery... the forensics found no survivors. They have found 268 bodies by sunset. They will continue searching tomorrow morning...
- Did you hear about the insect transport plane that crashed into the Duct factory? Don't worry, it's all caught on tape
- A government plane crashes between united states and mexico, where do you bury the survivors? What plane?
- A training plane with 4 people crashes into a graveyard. 79 victims were found dead in the first hour of search and rescue. Authorities fear that the number may rise.
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Plane Crash One Liners
Which plane crash one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with plane crash? I can suggest the ones about plane landed and air plane.
- Plane crashed in graveyard Police recovered 2000 bodies.
- I hate jokes about airline crashes They're just plane awful.
- Did anyone else witness that jet crashing into the ocean? It was plane to sea.
- What did the neckbeard say to the crashed plane? M'laysian
- Your plane crashed and every single person died. Only the married ones lived.
- What do you call it when a plane with 72 virgins crashes into a field? Heaven on earth.
- My friend crashed his plane recently his life has been heading in a downward spiral.
- What do you call it when one plane crashes into another? United airlines.
- *Tips fedora to crashing plane* M'day
- A 2 man plane crashes into a graveyard... so far they've found hundreds of bodies
- Harrison Ford has crashed his single seat plane He was flying Solo
- What will happen if a plane crashes to a skyscraper in my country?
- 3 years ago an Asianic plane crashed. The news station told me there was Sum Ting Wong...
- what's the peak of bad luck to fall off a crashing plane on a sinking ship
- Where do most plane crashes happen but isn't told on the news? Heaven
Ridiculous Plane Crash Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about plane crash you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car crash jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make plane crash pranks.
In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I survived a plane c**... in the wilderness, my biggest concern would be how much my airport parking bill would be.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A very nervous woman on her first Aeroplane flight, asked the stewardess, how often do planes c**...?
Stewardess replies.
Only once..
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Two r**... flew to Canada on a hunting trip.
They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two guys objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only the two r**... survived the
c**....
After climbing out of the wreckage, Billy Ray asked Billy Bob, "Any idea where we
are?"
Billy Bob replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
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Ben Shapiro dies in a plane c**.... Wanna know why it crashes?
LEFT WING DESTROYED
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A plane is about to c**....
(Don't know if this is a repost. If it is, I didn't know.)
The pilot of a plane tells the passengers that the plane is going down.
A woman frantically gets up from her chair and announces, "All my life, I've never made sweet passionate love with a man. Before I die, I want someone to really make me feel like a woman."
Just then, a handsome man gets up from his chair. He walks down the aisle to the woman, removes his shirt,
and asks her to iron it.
A two person plane crashes into a cemetery.
Police have released a statement saying that its the worse tragedy they have seen in years. So far they have found over 600 dead with fears of the number increasing as digging continues in the morning.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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There's a plane crashing down...
On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane...
..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom "folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will c**...."
So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams "Who passed de gas?"
The priest says "how did you know?"
And the Jamaican answers "de scent!"
...I'll show myself out
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Lone Survivor
The rescue team finds the crashed airplane. The lone survivor is chewing on a bone,with a huge pile of bones next to him. The rescuers are shocked. He says "You can't judge me for this, I had to survive." The rescue leader says "But, Christ, man ... your plane went down two days ago!"
A plane crashes on the border.
A plane was full of passengers. The engines go out and the plane crashed directly on the American and Canadian border. Where do you bury the survivors? None of them were either American or Canadian.
[Why would you bury the survivors?] (/spoiler)
A plane above the ocean is crashing
A woman in this plane knew she was going to die so she got up and shouted "Before I die I want someone to make me feel like a woman"
A couple rows down a man got up, took off his shirt and said "Here iron this"
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning
when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
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Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow c**...?
There were Poles on the right half of the plane.
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Two men and one woman are in a plane c**..., and they end up on a desert island. The men have s**... with the woman for about a week, and one day they stop. Why?
Her body was starting to smell.
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Why did the dictator's plane c**...?
It was stallin'
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Polish Moose Hunt
Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose. The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both. And he had exactly the same airplane as yours." Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.
However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness. Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the c**.... After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"
Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
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Three men and a parachute
So, a norwegian, a danish and a swedish person are on a private flight. Suddenly, the pilot turns on the speaker and says:
"The plane is malfunctioning and is going to c**.... There's three parachutes, and I'm going to take one. You're going to have to figure out who doesn't get one".
He then proceeds to jump out of the plane.
The three men panic, but the norwegian tells the others to calm down and then says to the swedish person: "Here. You take one, we'll figure out who gets the last one." And the swedish jumps.
The norwegian then turns to the danish person and says: "Let's grab the chutes and get out of this thing."
The danish says, very confused:" But you just gave the second to last parachute to that swedish guy? There's only one left now."
To which the norwegian replies: "Relax man, I gave him my backpack."
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Ole and Sven are flying a plane over northern Minnesota
Ole is the pilot, and they are approaching their destination. Sven looks out the window and sees the runway in the distance. He notices the runway looks rather short and says, "Y'know, Ole, dat looks like a really short runway."
Ole replies, "Oh, don't worry. Dis is a small plane after all. Dere's plenty of space for us to land."
As they get closer, Sven sees that the runway is indeed very short, and he says, "Ole, I don't know bout dis, it looks like dat runway is too short."
Ole says, "Ok, I'll press da brakes as hard as I can when we come down, how bout dat?"
But Sven isn't reassured very much. At this point, he can see that the runway is almost certainly too short for them to land. He says, "Ole! Dis runway is way too short. we're gonna c**...!"
Ole says, "Oh shut up. I'll just put de plane in reverse as soon as we land, that'll do it."
So, the plane touches down, and despite Ole's best efforts, they do go off the runway and into the fence. The plane flips over a few times and is heavily damaged, but luckily both Ole and Sven are relatively unharmed. The two climb out of the wreckage, and Sven says, "You see, I was right! Dis runway was too short!"
Ole looks up and down the runway, and then he says, "Aye, it was really short. But look at how *wide* it is!"
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Why did the plane c**...?
The pilot was a loaf of bread... But how did the plane take off?
Yeast Rises
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There are 11 blondes...
hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will c**.... So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.
After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......
Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Not quite heaven
A skydiver jumps out of the plane, and passes through a layer of heavy winds where he is blown way off course. He crashes into a tree, and is knocked unconscious. When he awakes, he is surrounded by a number of beautiful, n**... women. In the distance he sees a sign that says heaven.
Thinking to himself that he must have died, he says aloud, heaven is more beautiful than I imagined, then he hears a voice behind him. He turns to see a older n**... male who says to him, "This isn't heaven, this is Heavenly Shores Nudist Camp, and you're not a member."
The worst aviation accident in the history of California...
Did you hear about the single passenger plane that crashed into a cemetery last week? Top investigators are on it and they have already found over 700 corpses.
What was the last thing that went through JFK Jr's mind when his plane crashed?
The console.
What was JFK Jr's wife drinking when the plane crashed?
Ocean Spray.
Tragedy in Eastern Canada
Canada's Worst Air Disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as searching continues through the evening.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Hear about Harrison Fords plane c**...?
I guess he shouldn't have been.....
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
Flying solo.
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Why did Harrison Ford c**... his plane?
because he was flying solo and went look no hans...
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Why do Polish airlines fly half full?
Because planes c**... if a Pole gets on the right side.
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"My close friend died in a plane c**..."
"Really? Wow, I'm awfully sorry."
"I know. He was walking one day while looking up at a plane passing by and fell in a ditch."
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Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane c**....
It was the left wing.
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Why did the plane c**...?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
(my wife tells this joke to everyone and no one but me has ever laughed)
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How far can this plane go with just one engine?
All the way to the c**... site!
I read a story of a 17 year old kid who stole a plane, crashed it, and survived
Why don't we just build the whole plane out of that kid?
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What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane c**...?
Take your time, there's no Rush...
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Why did Carl c**... the plane?
...Because he was a piece of toast
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A farmer saw a plane full of politicians c**... near his farm.
When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened.
Farmer: They crashed near my farm and I buried all of them.
One of the police men asked with shock; "are you sure they were all dead"?
Farmer: Some of them were screaming, "we are still alive".
But I couldn't believe them.
You know, these politicians. They can lie.
What did the pilot say after crashing into the ocean?
Looks like it's plane sailing from here.
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What happened to the the Pentagon after the plane c**... in 9/11?
It turned into a hexagon.
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The best thing about flying with Spirit is the legroom
When the plane's about to c**..., you're already in the fetal position.
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A military plane crashes on a cannibal island
The soldiers are captured, and the chief asks them "Right, which one of you is the commander?"
"That's me, Commander Joe Miller."
"Well, congratulations, Joe, by tomorrow you'll be Commander-in-Chief!"
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Why didn't the airplane pilot swim to safety after the plane c**... in Egypt?
Because he was in de Nile.
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Putin and Medvedeev talking
- We need to change these time zones, they are giving me a big headache, says Putin
-Why? asks Medvedeev
-I'm calling Beijing to give my congrats for their national holiday and they tell me it's tomorrow. I call Warsaw to express my condolences for the airplane c**... in Smolensk and they tell me the plane didn't take off yet!
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A german, a french and a turkish man on a plane
The plane is about to c**... unless the passengers drop some weight. The pilot tells the three guys to drop something which they have enough of in their country.
The french man throws a baguette out of the window.
The turkish man throws a kebap out of the window.
The german throws the turkish man out of the window.
Kim Jong Un, Donald Trump, Chapo Guzman and Nicolás Maduro are in a plane when it crashes. Who survived?
The world
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Survivors of a plane c**... in the middle of nowhere suddenly ran out of food
"Since we have no more food, the only option we have is cannibalism" one person said.
"But I'm vegan" said his friend.
"It's okay, the guy on the wheelchair is a vegetable"
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Lenin, h**..., and Stalin were in a plane c**.... Who was saved?
The Russian people
Breaking news
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
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How did 70 Brazilian people die in a plane c**... today...
...if the world only has 7 billion?
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Why did the soviet plane c**...?
It was stalin
Minnesota's worst air disaster occurred earlier today...
...when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a Norwegian cemetery there early this morning.
Ole and Sven, working as search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump, Barack Obama, The Pope and a small Mexican kid were on a plane
Donald Trump, Barack Obama, The Pope and a small Mexican kid were on a plane, the plane was plummeting and was going to c**... into a building.
There were only 3 parachutes. "I'm the greatest man here, I'll take a parachute" said Obama. "I'm the smartest man in here so I'll take a parachute" said Trump. They both grabbed their parachutes and lept out of the plane.
The pope said to the young boy. "Go ahead son, take the parachute". The boy replied "It's alright, the smartest man in the world just took my school bag."
Q: A plane crashed and every single person died except four, Why?
A: Because they were flying United Airlines
A plane crashed into the deepest parts of the amazon forest.
Is there a Doctor?!!! The people cried.
A plane carrying Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un, and Bashar Asaad crashes in the desert.
Let's go get ice cream.
Can i request that we don't make any 9/11 jokes on here? My grandpa died that day.
Right after he hijacked a plane and crashed it.
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Trump parachute joke
Bill gates, Donald Trump, the Pope, and a boy are on a plane that's about to c**.... There are 3 parachutes.
Everyone agreed that Bill Gates was very important, and the world wouldn't be the same without him. And so, he grabbed a parachute and jumped out.
Donald Trump said that he was the president of the United States, and he claimed that he was very important and "the smartest president there ever will be", so he jumped out as well.
The Pope said to the boy, "I am old, and my days are almost over. Take the last parachute and jump!"
The boy replied, "It's fine, Donald Trump didn't grab a parachute; he grabbed my backpack."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I made a joke about the plane c**... that had no survivors in it to my wife
She got angry at me and called me insensitive.
I told her, "you had to be there"
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a plane crashed and every single person died, but how were there still survivors of the plane c**...?
the married people on the plane survived
A booked flight crashed as it was leaving Warsaw
There were too many Poles on the right side of the plane
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A pilot bailed out of his crashing plane and landed on an uncharted island.
He soon found himself surrounded by natives with spears. A big native adorned with decorations points at the pilot.
I'm s**..., says the pilot.
God opens up the clouds and says to the pilot, No, you're not s**.... Grab the closest spear and throw it through the leader's heart.
The pilot does this.
NOW you're s**..., says God.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why did Apple's new plane c**...?
Because it didn't have windows.
Yesterday, a plane crashed in a cemetary in Newfoundland
There is already 823 deads, but the number will grow as Newfies keep digging.
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Pilot: The plane is about to c**...! Quick, make your last...
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I recently saw a movie about a plane c**......
...I'll give a 9/11
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There was a plane c**... and every single person died
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Why did the AH-148 plane c**... into a helicopter?
A plane carrying 100 people crashes into a cemetery in Poland...
500 bodies were recovered
