Plane Crash Jokes
143 plane crash jokes and hilarious plane crash puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about plane crash that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Plane Crash Short Jokes
Short plane crash jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The plane crash humour may include short airplane crash jokes also.
- If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive? American comedy films.
- Last night, a two-seat, single engine plane crashed in a Polish cemetery. Polish authorities report that they have recovered five hundred bodies so far and believe thousands more may still be found.
- Did you hear about the plane that crashed into the trampoline factory? Witnesses heard a loud Boeing!
- Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than- -crashed submarines in the sky.
- Did you hear about the plane that crashed on the way to the ginger convention? Thankfully there were no souls on board.
- So, there's a plane... So there's a plane. The plane crashes, and every single person dies. However, a man goes home and tells his wife about it. How is this possible?
He wasn't single. - Did you hear about the two-seater plane that crashed into the graveyard? Over 50 bodies have been recovered. Which is odd, considering its a two seater plane.
- Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot? He crashed his plane onto his brothers scrap metal yard.
- A small plane crashed into a cemetery... the forensics found no survivors. They have found 268 bodies by sunset. They will continue searching tomorrow morning...
- Did you hear about the insect transport plane that crashed into the Duct factory? Don't worry, it's all caught on tape
Share These Plane Crash Jokes With Friends
Plane Crash One Liners
Which plane crash one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with plane crash? I can suggest the ones about planes crashed and airplane crashing.
- Plane crashed in graveyard Police recovered 2000 bodies.
- I hate jokes about airline crashes They're just plane awful.
- Did anyone else witness that jet crashing into the ocean? It was plane to sea.
- What did the neckbeard say to the crashed plane? M'laysian
- Your plane crashed and every single person died. Only the married ones lived.
- What do you call it when a plane with 72 virgins crashes into a field? Heaven on earth.
- Donald trump and Hilary Clinton are in a plane, the plane crashes who survives? America.
- My friend crashed his plane recently his life has been heading in a downward spiral.
- What do you call it when one plane crashes into another? United airlines.
- *Tips fedora to crashing plane* M'day
- A 2 man plane crashes into a graveyard... so far they've found hundreds of bodies
- Harrison Ford has crashed his single seat plane He was flying Solo
- I used to tell jokes about the planes that crashed on 9/11 But they would never land.
- What sound did the plane make when it crashed? Boeing
- What will happen if a plane crashes to a skyscraper in my country?
Ridiculous Plane Crash Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about plane crash you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plane landing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make plane crash pranks.
Q: If a plane crashed on the Canada/USA border, where would the survivors be buried?
A: You don't bury survivors.
A very nervous woman on her first Aeroplane flight, asked the stewardess, how often do planes c**...?
Stewardess replies.
Only once..
Two r**... flew to Canada on a hunting trip.
They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two guys objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only the two r**... survived the
c**....
After climbing out of the wreckage, Billy Ray asked Billy Bob, "Any idea where we
are?"
Billy Bob replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
Ben Shapiro dies in a plane c**.... Wanna know why it crashes?
LEFT WING DESTROYED
A plane is about to c**......
A plane is going down and about to c**... when a woman suddenly leaps from her seat and screams,"If I'm going to die, I want to feel like a woman before I do!" She rips all her clothes off and screams,"Who here is man enough to make me feel like a true woman?"
A man stands up and calmly says OK. He unbuttons his shirt, takes it off, hands it to her and says,"Here. Iron this."
A plane is about to c**....
(Don't know if this is a repost. If it is, I didn't know.)
The pilot of a plane tells the passengers that the plane is going down.
A woman frantically gets up from her chair and announces, "All my life, I've never made sweet passionate love with a man. Before I die, I want someone to really make me feel like a woman."
Just then, a handsome man gets up from his chair. He walks down the aisle to the woman, removes his shirt,
and asks her to iron it.
A two person plane crashes into a cemetery.
Police have released a statement saying that its the worse tragedy they have seen in years. So far they have found over 600 dead with fears of the number increasing as digging continues in the morning.
There's a plane crashing down...
On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."
A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane...
..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom "folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will c**...."
So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams "Who passed de gas?"
The priest says "how did you know?"
And the Jamaican answers "de scent!"
...I'll show myself out
Lone Survivor
The rescue team finds the crashed airplane. The lone survivor is chewing on a bone,with a huge pile of bones next to him. The rescuers are shocked. He says "You can't judge me for this, I had to survive." The rescue leader says "But, Christ, man ... your plane went down two days ago!"
A plane above the ocean is crashing
A woman in this plane knew she was going to die so she got up and shouted "Before I die I want someone to make me feel like a woman"
A couple rows down a man got up, took off his shirt and said "Here iron this"
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning
when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow c**...?
There were Poles on the right half of the plane.
Two men and one woman are in a plane c**..., and they end up on a desert island. The men have s**... with the woman for about a week, and one day they stop. Why?
Her body was starting to smell.
As airplanes about to c**......
As an airplane is about to c**..., a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Why did the dictator's plane c**...?
It was stallin'
Polish Moose Hunt
Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose. The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both. And he had exactly the same airplane as yours." Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.
However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness. Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the c**.... After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"
Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
Three men and a parachute
So, a norwegian, a danish and a swedish person are on a private flight. Suddenly, the pilot turns on the speaker and says:
"The plane is malfunctioning and is going to c**.... There's three parachutes, and I'm going to take one. You're going to have to figure out who doesn't get one".
He then proceeds to jump out of the plane.
The three men panic, but the norwegian tells the others to calm down and then says to the swedish person: "Here. You take one, we'll figure out who gets the last one." And the swedish jumps.
The norwegian then turns to the danish person and says: "Let's grab the chutes and get out of this thing."
The danish says, very confused:" But you just gave the second to last parachute to that swedish guy? There's only one left now."
To which the norwegian replies: "Relax man, I gave him my backpack."
Ole and Sven are flying a plane over northern Minnesota
Ole is the pilot, and they are approaching their destination. Sven looks out the window and sees the runway in the distance. He notices the runway looks rather short and says, "Y'know, Ole, dat looks like a really short runway."
Ole replies, "Oh, don't worry. Dis is a small plane after all. Dere's plenty of space for us to land."
As they get closer, Sven sees that the runway is indeed very short, and he says, "Ole, I don't know bout dis, it looks like dat runway is too short."
Ole says, "Ok, I'll press da brakes as hard as I can when we come down, how bout dat?"
But Sven isn't reassured very much. At this point, he can see that the runway is almost certainly too short for them to land. He says, "Ole! Dis runway is way too short. we're gonna c**...!"
Ole says, "Oh shut up. I'll just put de plane in reverse as soon as we land, that'll do it."
So, the plane touches down, and despite Ole's best efforts, they do go off the runway and into the fence. The plane flips over a few times and is heavily damaged, but luckily both Ole and Sven are relatively unharmed. The two climb out of the wreckage, and Sven says, "You see, I was right! Dis runway was too short!"
Ole looks up and down the runway, and then he says, "Aye, it was really short. But look at how *wide* it is!"
Make me feel like a woman.
The captain of an airplane has just announced that the plane will run out of fuel and will be forced to make a c**... landing. He asks everyone to call their loved ones now as things are looking bleak. As the passengers become more and more uneasy a lady jumps up, rips off her shirt, and screams "Someone make me feel like a woman one last time!" A male passenger jumps up, rips off his shirt, and hands it to her along with an iron.
Why did the plane c**...?
The pilot was a loaf of bread... But how did the plane take off?
Yeast Rises
George W. Bush is sitting with his aides...
and he is getting debriefed on the world news of the day. The news is rather mundane and unexciting, but one of his aides states that 3 Brazilian people perished in a plane c**... early this morning.
Dubya's reaction is pure shock and grief, he's shaking and can't control his emotions.
Tearfully looking over to the man who broke the news, he asks him, "How many is a Brazilian?"
A plane is going to c**......
The passengers on board know they only have a few minutes left to live and one woman stands up from her chair and calls out to everyone. "We're all going to die...but before we do, is there anyone on board who can make me feel like a woman?"
A young handsome man rises up from his seat with a look of strong determination and nods with certainty. "Of course, I can!" And he pulls his shirt off at once.
He holds it out to her and says "Here, iron this!"
There are 11 blondes...
hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will c**.... So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.
After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......
Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.
The worst aviation accident in the history of California...
Did you hear about the single passenger plane that crashed into a cemetery last week? Top investigators are on it and they have already found over 700 corpses.
Did you hear about the plane c**... in Poland?
It was a Cessna 2 seater, crashed into a graveyard, the body count is up to 453 and they are still finding more.
Between all the plane crashes and their infamous driving...
I'm beginning to think Asians are just bad at transportation.
Tragedy in Eastern Canada
Canada's Worst Air Disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as searching continues through the evening.
Hear about Harrison Fords plane c**...?
I guess he shouldn't have been.....
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
Flying solo.
Why did Harrison Ford c**... his plane?
because he was flying solo and went look no hans...
Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane c**....
It was the left wing.
A plane was going down....
A plane was going down and the captain said to the passengers "I'm sorry everyone we are going to c**... in a few minutes" The passengers looked at each other in fear. One woman got out of her seat and yelled "Before I die I want a man to make me feel like a real woman!" a man a few rows back got out of his seat and said "I will!" she smiled and ran up to him. He then took his shirt off and said "Here, iron this"
Why did the plane c**...?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
(my wife tells this joke to everyone and no one but me has ever laughed)
How far can this plane go with just one engine?
All the way to the c**... site!
I read a story of a 17 year old kid who stole a plane, crashed it, and survived
Why don't we just build the whole plane out of that kid?
What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane c**...?
Take your time, there's no Rush...
Why did Carl c**... the plane?
...Because he was a piece of toast
A farmer saw a plane full of politicians c**... near his farm.
When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened.
Farmer: They crashed near my farm and I buried all of them.
One of the police men asked with shock; "are you sure they were all dead"?
Farmer: Some of them were screaming, "we are still alive".
But I couldn't believe them.
You know, these politicians. They can lie.
The best thing about flying with Spirit is the legroom
When the plane's about to c**..., you're already in the fetal position.
A military plane crashes on a cannibal island
The soldiers are captured, and the chief asks them "Right, which one of you is the commander?"
"That's me, Commander Joe Miller."
"Well, congratulations, Joe, by tomorrow you'll be Commander-in-Chief!"
Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
Putin and Medvedeev talking
- We need to change these time zones, they are giving me a big headache, says Putin
-Why? asks Medvedeev
-I'm calling Beijing to give my congrats for their national holiday and they tell me it's tomorrow. I call Warsaw to express my condolences for the airplane c**... in Smolensk and they tell me the plane didn't take off yet!
A german, a french and a turkish man on a plane
The plane is about to c**... unless the passengers drop some weight. The pilot tells the three guys to drop something which they have enough of in their country.
The french man throws a baguette out of the window.
The turkish man throws a kebap out of the window.
The german throws the turkish man out of the window.
Kim Jong Un, Donald Trump, Chapo Guzman and Nicolás Maduro are in a plane when it crashes. Who survived?
The world
Survivors of a plane c**... in the middle of nowhere suddenly ran out of food
"Since we have no more food, the only option we have is cannibalism" one person said.
"But I'm vegan" said his friend.
"It's okay, the guy on the wheelchair is a vegetable"
Did you hear about the tragic c**... of the small plane into the cemetery?
So far they've recovered 324 bodies.
Breaking news
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
How did 70 Brazilian people die in a plane c**... today...
...if the world only has 7 billion?
Why did the soviet plane c**...?
It was stalin
A plane was about to c**..., and a woman stood up, took off her top, and exclaimed "Before this plane goes down, is there a man on board who will make me feel like a woman before I die!?"
A man stood up, took off his shirt and threw it at her, and said
"Here, iron this!"
Minnesota's worst air disaster occurred earlier today...
...when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a Norwegian cemetery there early this morning.
Ole and Sven, working as search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
A plane is about to c**...
A female passenger gets up and frantically announces, "if I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "here iron this."
Q: A plane crashed and every single person died except four, Why?
A: Because they were flying United Airlines
A plane crashed into the deepest parts of the amazon forest.
Is there a Doctor?!!! The people cried.
A plane carrying Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un, and Bashar Asaad crashes in the desert.
Let's go get ice cream.
A training plane with 4 people crashes
into a graveyard. 79 victims were found dead in the first hour of search and rescue. Authorities fear that the number may rise.
I made a joke about the plane c**... that had no survivors in it to my wife
She got angry at me and called me insensitive.
I told her, "you had to be there"
A plane crashes on a desert island and there are three survivors, a woman and two men.
After two weeks on the island the woman is so ashamed of what they have been doing that she kills herself. Two weeks after she kills herself the men are so ashamed of what they have been doing that they decide to bury her. Two weeks after they bury her the two men are so ashamed at what they have been doing that they dig her up again.
a plane crashed and every single person died, but how were there still survivors of the plane c**...?
the married people on the plane survived
Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?
As an airplane is about to c**..., a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
A pilot bailed out of his crashing plane and landed on an uncharted island.
He soon found himself surrounded by natives with spears. A big native adorned with decorations points at the pilot.
I'm s**..., says the pilot.
God opens up the clouds and says to the pilot, No, you're not s**.... Grab the closest spear and throw it through the leader's heart.
The pilot does this.
NOW you're s**..., says God.
Why did Apple's new plane c**...?
Because it didn't have windows.
I recently saw a movie about a plane c**......
...I'll give a 9/11
A plane carrying 100 people crashes into a cemetery in Poland...
500 bodies were recovered
Jokes about 9/11 are just plane wrong
Ill give you all a c**... course later. There's allah to talk about.
A Plane Full Of Ugly People Crashes
A plane full of ugly people crashes and everyone on board dies. The peoples' souls then go to heaven, where they are greeted by God at the gate. God tells them that he will grant each person one wish. The first person says, I want to be beautiful . God snapped his fingers and it happened. Then the second person wished for the same thing. This continues as each person in line wishes to be beautiful. God notices the last man in line laughing hysterically. When it came to be the man's turn he laughed and said, I wish all those people were ugly again.
Donald Trump, Angela Merkel, the Pope and a little girl are on a crashing plane.
But there are only three parachutes. So Angela Merkel takes one, saying: "I'm really important so I should live." Donald Trump takes one, saying: "I'm the world's cleverest man, I should live!" But the Pope says to the little girl: "You're a young child, you're more important than me." But the girl says: "It's ok, the world's cleverest man just jumped off with my rucksack."
