Plain Jokes

115 plain jokes and hilarious plain puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about plain that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you need a laugh? Look no further than plain jokes! Whether it's a great plain, plain Jane, plain bagel, plain language, or a mocha, we've got something downright simple that is sure to bring a smile to your face. Take a look and enjoy the humor!

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jokes about plain

Best Short Plain Jokes

Short plain puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The plain humour may include short simple jokes also.

  1. I went to make my own james bond clothing, but came back with a plain, white T-shirt I had No Time To Dye.
  2. An aviation enthusiast enters a bar. He asks, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender laughs and says, "Sorry, we only have plain chips."
  3. When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what? We were thankful.
  4. My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos.... I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food.
  5. Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11? They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.
  6. I walked into the store and asked "do you have any helicopter flavoured chips?" The cashier says "no , we just have plain".
  7. What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike? Attire
  8. Alcohol Free Beer Is a lot like going down on your sister.
    It tastes the same but it's just plain wrong.
  9. A man walks into a convenience store and he asks the clerk, do you have any helicopter flavored chips? The clerk responds, no, we just have plain.
  10. Terrorists now have a brand new state of the art weapon that can be hidden in plain sight The Galaxy Note 7
Plain joke, Terrorists now have a brand new state of the art weapon that can be hidden in plain sight

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about plain can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of plain puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Plain One Liners

Which plain one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with plain? I can suggest the ones about plural and pleasant.

  1. The best pizza I ever had was just a plain dough base Nothing topped that.
  2. What type of bagel can fly? A plain bagel
  3. What's a pilot's favorite kind of bagel? Plain
  4. Before Elon Musk got into electric cars... ... he was plain old Lon Musk
  5. 50,000 battered women a year... And I still eat mine plain!
  6. What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center? Two large plains.
  7. Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.
  8. What's a pilot's favorite kind of yogurt? Plain.
  9. What is a daleks favourite breakfast Eggs, plain
  10. Apparently There Was A Pizza Order On 9/11 ..turns out it was just 2 large plains.
  11. What type of bagles can fly? Plain bagles
  12. What is it called when you give money to a plains bison? A buffaloan!
  13. What do you call jokes about 9/11 and why are they generally not funny? Too plain jokes
  14. Ever since I became a pilot, I can only eat one type of bagel. Plain.
  15. What kind of biscuits fly? The plain ones

Plain Sight Jokes

Here is a list of funny plain sight jokes and even better plain sight puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I've got a conspiracy joke that no one would believe, even though the punchline is in plain sight.
  • I made a startling discovery about one of the greatest Renaissance painters. He was actually a silica-based mechanoid hiding in plain sight.
    Sand Robot Ticelli.

Plain Bagel Jokes

Here is a list of funny plain bagel jokes and even better plain bagel puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is Carlos Castaneda's favorite type of bagel? Astral plain
  • What's a type of bread that flys off the shelf? A plain bagel!
Plain joke, What's a type of bread that flys off the shelf?

Hilarious Plain Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about plain you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean rough jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make plain prank.

The brook had some plain old thing to ask the pond

"Water you doing?"

KGB is Always Watching!

One night man tries escape from gulag.
Makes his way to cabin in middle of tundra. Inside is plain, but many family pictures on walls. He falls asleep. In middle of night he is put in sack and dragged out. The next morning he is shot like dog.
Pictures are windows. KGB always watching.

A cowboy is riding across the plain one day,

when he sees an Indian chief laying on the ground with his ear pressed firmly to the earth. Never having seen this before, the cowboy says "Hey chief whatcha doin there." The chief in broken english says "Ugg, buffalo come." The cowboy says "That's amazing chief, how can you tell?" The Chief reply's "Ear sticky."

I prefer loose leaf paper over plain white paper...

...the plain white stuff is too unruly.

I went to an ASDA Cafe for lunch

Yesterday i was shopping in ASDA and decide to have lunch in the Cafe, i ordered a plain burger and chips.
when i got to the counter to pay the woman said,
"A plain burger, that's a bit boring isn't it? are you sure you don't want anything on it?"
to which i replied,
"Oh go on then! i'll have £5 each way..."

A young bride and groom to be

A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater three times a day.

Mr T and I were thinking about scaling a glass wall.

We were looking at the standard equipment and the fancy equipment too. I selected the most basic suction device for my ascent, and suggested Mr T do likewise.
He looked at me and said, "I ain't using no plain s**...!"

I go to the Jim every morning

Are you thin? Are you overweight? Are you fighting the battle of the bulge? Do you have a sedentary lifestyle? Are you plain lazy? Do you have someone or the other always telling you to go to the gym?
Here's something for you...
"Instead of calling my bathroom the John, I call it the Jim.
That way it sounds a lot better when I tell people I go to the Jim first thing every morning :-)"

Sometimes I'll just eat a plain piece of bread for dinner, to you it might seem like a snack...

but to me it's a wholemeal.

car trouble

Wife: There's trouble with the car. I think it has water in the carburettor.
Husband: Water in the carburettor? That's plain daft.
Wife: I'm telling you the car has water in the carburettor.
Husband: Don't be silly, You don't even know what a carburettor is. how would you know there is water in the carburettor? "
Wife: darling, I figured there would be some water in the carburetor if the car is in the swimming pool."

What type of lunch do you get at an air show?

A plain one.

This one got my coworkers

The stewardess on my flight asked me what snack I would like.
I told her "The plain chips would be fine.
She says "They are all plane chips, sir."

50,000 battered women in America every year..

and I've been eating mine plain this whole time.

How do you call a black man flying a plain?

A pilot

An Englishman is walking through a hotel

An Englishman is walking through a hotel in the USA and says to a man, "please hold the lift!"
The man replies, "it's an elevator."
"No, no, no, it's a lift" the Englishman retorts.
"Listen, we invented the elevator in America, therefore, it's an elevator, plain and simple."
"Ah, yes" says the Englishman, "but we invented the language."

I like my ice cream like I like my women.

Plain vanilla, and hopefully if it lies around long enough it will get wet so I don't have to do much with my mouth.

I just had a religious experience while listing to the new Justin Bieber album.

I wanted to fly a plain into a building.

A boy and his father are playing catch

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast (no honey or butter.)
Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
should I"?

Where is the Serengeti Plain?

At the Serengeti airport.

40% of women in the world are battered...

And I've been eating mine plain this whole time.

Why you should definitely visit the Grand Canyon...

Well... it's just plain *gorge*-ous

Today I learned that 48% of women in the U.S. are battered...

and to think I've been eating mine plain for all these years.

TIL that 1 in 3 Women are Battered.

...And to think I have been eating them plain all this time.

TIL that there are over 1 million battered women in the US.

And I've been eating mine plain! Who knew?

Women are like numbers ...

* Some are Rational, but infinitely more are Irrational.
* The Real ones might be Proper or Improper, but only the Imaginary ones are ever Pure.
* Some are Natural, the rest are Negative, or just not there.
* Some are Prime, but those are hard to find.
* Every other one is just plain Odd.

There are 4 million battered women in the US.

But I like mine plain.

why were the people in the twin towers so upset?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain

Why is it that nobody ever wants to address 'the elephant in the room'?

Leaving my wife out of conversations is just plain rude.

Dumb Nirvana Joke

I was gonna tell a Dumb Nirvana joke About a girl I knew named Polly that lived On a Plain. Her favorite drink was Pennyroyal tea with crackers and Mexican Seafood, she had a sliver in her finger and once had an Aneurysm at School but Nevermind that.

I love to build things...

I love hammering, I love sawing, and I love sanding.
But drilling is just plain boring.

News articles keep saying plain cooked meat tastes better.

None could provide any sauce though.

I suffer from a mental condition where I am unconciously forced to ask for food in the wrong sequence, and sometimes I just plain ask for things that aren't on the menu, anyway...

It's a this order disorder disorder disorder.

Why can't you tell if a passenger is an Air Marshal?

Because they usually wear plain clothes.

My dad would a pizza saying...

"I would like to order a 747... you know.. a large plain"
From #MarchDadness

Why did 9/11 happen?

Because someone ordered a pepperoni pizza but got plain instead.

If you drink water on a plane is it

Plane water or Plain water?

Apparently people don't like pictures of a Boeing 737

Maybe it's just too plain

Medical Term

A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to. When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

There are 10000 battered women in the US every year.

And all this time I've been eating them plain.

I went to a lawyer to review some documents.

I told him everything had to be "plain and simple" if I was going to sign away some of my rights.
He said to me, "Oh, so you like vanilla waivers."

How did the heckawii indians get their name?

They split off from a larger tribe and fallowed a river, they walked for weeks and months until finally coming to a great plain, the Indian chief looked at the medicine man and said "where the heck are we?"

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring.

As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned.
"Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"
With a fatherly smile, the salesman said,
"One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."

I matched with this guy on Tinder. He said he wasn't like your average single Pringle – he was like a Dorito, edgy and spicy.

I hooked up with him. He definitely wasn't plain round.

Quaker home defense

one night john had come home for the day, exhausted from being plain and keeping thoughts to himself and went straight to bed. During the night someone broke in and this roused him from his sleep. leaping into action john grabbed his musket and charged downstairs. upon meeting the robber he leveled his musket and yelled
"friend I don't mean to alarm you but you're standing between me and where I want to shoot"

What's an airline pilots favourite crisp flavour?


Why is plane food so bland?

Because it's plain food.

I'm pretty bad at playing the harmonica

Quite often I blow at it, but sometimes I just plain s**...

A young zebra escapes from the zoo and meets a stallion in a nearby valley

The stallion was fascinated and asked the zebra "where do you come from and what do you do?" the zebra replied "I come from Africa and I just chill with my friends on the plain"
Then the zebra asked the stallion "what are you and what do you do?" and the stallion replied "I'm a stallion, get your pyjamas off and i'll show you"

9 out of 10 women are battered...

Yet here I am still eating mine plain

A small, plain looking guy is sitting by himself in a bar.

All evening girls walk up to his table, talk to him for a bit and then they both head out the door and come back 30 minutes later.
Another guy, getting no action at all, beckons over the bartender and asks if he knows what the guy's secret is.
"Beats me" says the bartender. "All he does is sit there l**... his eyebrows."

Sure, she was a little plain

But when things were rough, she could smooth them out.

I told my doctor that I was unable to do all the things around the house that I used to do.

The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but found nothing wrong with me. When the examination was completed, I said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me" "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just very lazy." "Okay," I said , "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

A friend calls his engineer friend

A friend calls his engineer friend. What are you doing? He asks. The engineer answers "I'm in the middle of the project hydro thermal behavior of porcelain glass and metals under a controlled high-pressured environment". I am not sure I understand, can you explain it in plain language?. And the engineer answers "I'm washing the dishes and my wife is watching me"

Helicopter flavored potato chips?

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

Poaching defenseless, innocent wild animals is just plain wrong

They're much better roasted.

Animals getting frisky

A father and son are standing on a hill looking out over a plain. Seeing a pair of animals getting intimate, the son turns to his father and says "Dad, why is that buffalo getting on top of another boy buffalo? Is it gay?"
The father turns to the son to admonish him.
"You shouldn't be judgemental of another person or animal for the sexuality!"
While he says this, the same buffalo mounts a female.
"Anyway, it's bison."

Wanted: One Night Stand

I'm moving soon and my room is really empty and lonely. I have a bed in my room and I am looking for one night stand. I prefer black, but a darker brown will do. I would also like it to be unique, not some plain night stand you would pick up from Walmart.

Woman goes to a doctor with a t**... lodged inside her...

Doctor: So how did this happen?
Woman: I don't know, I mean I didn't get them from the store as usual, I saw a special deal on eBay, a hundred boxes for $1!
Doctor: A hundred boxes for $1? Didn't that sound suspiciously cheap to you?
Woman: Well I thought that too, so I checked the entire listing and it said plain and clear
One hundred boxes of tampons for $1... strings attached!

I just found out that 60% of the women in my town are battered!

And I'm still eating mine plain.

If liberals are libtards...

Doesn't that make republicans just plain ole r**...?

What's the most common result of a married couple's argument?

a plain tiff

I keep hearing about all these battered women...

All these years I've been eating them plain.

A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter fries.

The barman replies "Sorry bud, we only do plain"

The Tea Party

Mom went shopping, leaving Dad in charge of their daughter. Suzie was about 18 months old and loved playing with her new tea set. Dad was engrossed in the evening news when Suzie brought him a little cup of 'tea' (really just plain water).
He praised her good 'cooking,' so she brought him more. After several cups of 'tea,' and much praise, Mom came home.
"Honey, watch this," said Dad and had her wait in the living room as Suzie brought him another cup of tea.
"Isn't she just the cutest?"
Mom waited until he had polished off yet another cup of 'tea' before asking, "Did you ever think that the only place a baby can get water is the toilet?!"

Plain joke, The Tea Party

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these plain jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.