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Plague Jokes

40 plague jokes and hilarious plague puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about plague that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you love a good joke? Then don't miss out on these mouse plague-related funny quips! In this article, we look at the funny side of the dark history of bubonic and other diseases. Enjoy a lighthearted look into the lore of plagues!

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Funniest Plague Short Jokes

Short plague jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The plague humour may include short outbreak jokes also.

  1. Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
  2. About 4,000 years ago: God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
    Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
    God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!
  3. What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who's also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath? A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.
  4. Well, we can't use the expression 'avoid it like the plague' anymore..... Coz apparently humans do not do that.
  5. What is a pirate's favorite letter? The one his wife wrote him before the plague stole her away.
  6. A thief walked into a theatre He stole the spotlight
    (I saw this joke on plague inc and wanted to share it with you guys)
  7. Going to open up a donut shop next to a medical m**... store I'll call it glazed and confused
  8. Ebola Plague The CDC has confirmed that the recent Ebola outbreak is now the second disease in history to be known as the "black death".
  9. What do you call a Monk with osteoporosis who likes eating onions and walks everywhere barefoot He's a Super fragile calloused mystic plagued with halitosis.
  10. Bubonic plague inflames your lymph nodes. But pneumonic plague helps you to remember things

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Plague One Liners

Which plague one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with plague? I can suggest the ones about disease and sickness.

  1. Only 1300's kids will get this.. The Black Plague
  2. Where do unvaccinated kids gather? The plague-ground
  3. What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical? plague-arism
  4. Here's a joke that only 1300's kids would get The Bubonic plague
  5. What did the Black death say to Coronavirus? Well Plagued!
  6. Only 1300's kids will get this... bubonic plague
  7. Played Plague inc and chose to infect by food only I couldn't reach africa
  8. Did you hear the one about the plague? Barely anyone has gotten it in the past 600 years.
  9. What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land? "Aw *hail* naw!"
  10. I played plague inc and choose to upgrade infect by food Now i can't infect africa
  11. What's it called when someone copies your work during quarantine? Plague-arism
  12. How did the ghost's family die? They Caught the Boo-bonic plague.
  13. Am I going to Rio? No. I'd avoid it like the plague.
  14. A plague doctor tips his mask... Malady.
  15. You guys know about the black plague?

Plague joke, You guys know about the black plague?

Rib-Tickling Plague Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about plague you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fever jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make plague pranks.

The bubonic plague, the flu, and h**... walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, "What is this? Some kind of sick joke?".

A patient walks into an optometrist's office.

The optometrist starts the eye exam and casually asks her if there's any particular reason she came in for a checkup.
"Doctor, I think am having hallucinations. Every time I open my eyes, I see really dark things. Evil. Malice. Hatred. Plague. I am seeing the worst in everything. Nothing looks like it used to. It's as if everything I see is shrouded in darkness."
The optometrist sits back from the patient, confused.
"That's interesting," he said, "because from what I can tell, you see 20/20."

Now that I have lived through a plague...

I get why most renaissance paintings are of fat people lounging around with their b**... and d**... out

random pandemic question

According to history class, they organized wild o**... in the Middle Ages after the victory over the Plague. Is there anything planned yet? I ask for a friend.

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In the Middle Ages people celebrated the end of the plague by holding o**...

Does anyone know if something is already planned?

A plague bearer walks into an auction house during winter.

Everyone nears him now has a chance of catching the cold-bid 19 virus.

It's s**... when people say God hates homosexuals

If he did, wouldn't he devise some plague to wipe them out?

I told my friend i couldn't hang out because i have the bubonic plague

He just said "aw rats" and walked off

Plague joke, A plague doctor tips his mask...