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Pizza Jokes

175 pizza jokes and hilarious pizza puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about pizza that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with jokes about pizza, pepperoni, and lasagna from the funniest pizzeria in town! Whether you're a fan of deep dish or thin crust, these pizza jokes will bring the perfect topping to your day.

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Funniest Pizza Short Jokes

Short pizza jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pizza humour may include short burger jokes also.

  1. Andrew Tate arrested in Romania after a pizza box showed he was in the country. Police arrested him within 30 minutes As any longer would mean they had to give him a free garlic bread.
  2. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza. I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
  3. What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick? You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it
  4. My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant... ...I can't pull anything out in time!
  5. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
  6. Our local pizza guy has been arrested for selling drugs I have been a loyal customer for years. I honestly had no idea he was selling pizzas
  7. I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
  8. What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common? A man who didn't take it out in time.
  9. Walter White decided to buy a pizza for his son Walter: Hey son I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends.
    Flynn: Thanks dad, how much do I owe you?
    Walter: It's on the house.
  10. Why do hipsters always burn their mouths eating pizza? They got into it before it was cool.

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Pizza One Liners

Which pizza one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pizza? I can suggest the ones about bread and toast.

  1. How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!
  2. How does a mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*
  3. What is the preferred pizza for epileptic midgets? Little Seizures.
    (I am so sorry)
  4. How do you get a philosophy student off your porch? Thank him for the pizza
  5. What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza? Skinning the vegan.
  6. Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.
  7. What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets? Little Seizure's
  8. I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting
  9. How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic? You take the pizza delivery sign off
  10. I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven...
  11. Necrophilia is like pizza Even when it's cold it's still good.
  12. What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie? That's a Moray.
  13. What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it? A pepperonly pizza!
  14. Burned my Hawaiian pizza... Should have put it on aloha temperature.
  15. My Local Pizza Place Just Folded Now they serve Calzones.

Delivery Pizza Jokes

Here is a list of funny delivery pizza jokes and even better delivery pizza puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common? They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.
  • What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common? Always have to smell it, never get to eat it.
  • How is a gynecologist like a pizza delivery boy? They both get close enough to smell it, but if they eat it, they'll be fired.
  • Why is a pizza delivery guy like a gynecologist? They're allowed to smell it, but they get in trouble if they eat it.
    Teehee
  • What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common? They can both smell it, but not eat it.
  • An ambulance is like a Pizza delivery If they're late the delivery ends up cold.
  • What's the difference between police officers and pizza delivery drivers? Pizza delivery drivers actually face consequences when their jobs aren't done right.
  • I vandalized an art major's car today. Removing pizza delivery signs is surprisingly easy.
  • What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? They can both smell the product, but they can't eat it
  • Whats a similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist? They both smell it, but they can't eat it.

Pizza Delivery Jokes

Here is a list of funny pizza delivery jokes and even better pizza delivery puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What makes a good pizza joke? It's all in the delivery
  • pizza jokes are tough… Because it's all about the delivery!!
  • Telling jokes about pizza is hard. It's all in the delivery.
  • The secret to a pizza joke... ...is in the delivery.
  • The best pizza joke ever Actually never mind it's too cheesy... That's the biggest problem with pizza jokes, it's all about the delivery…
  • Did you hear about the pizza boy who wanted to become a comedian? (OC) His material is terrible, but his delivery is amazing!
  • Have you heard the one about the late pizza guy? Just gotta work on the delivery.
  • What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common? It's okay to smell it, but if you eat it you're gonna get fired.
  • What do a pizza delivery guy and gynaecologist both have in common? They both have to smell it, but neither of them get to taste it
  • A gynecologist is just like a pizza delivery guy They both get to smell it but they can't eat it.
Pizza joke, A gynecologist is just like a pizza delivery guy

Pizza Slice Jokes

Here is a list of funny pizza slice jokes and even better pizza slice puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please. There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slice.
  • Why don't mathematicians eat pizza? Because even half a slice is pie over ate
  • Pizza Joke If you slice up a large pizza, that's no big deal.
    But if you slice up a medium, you can get jail time.
    And she should have seen it coming.
  • A blonde orders a medium pizza The cashier asks if she wants it cut into four or eight slices.
    "Hmm... four. I don't think I can eat eight."
  • My 8yo daughter just hit me with this one What's the difference between my dad and a slice of pizza?
    A slice of pizza can't feed a family
    Sheeesh. Like a rainbow dagger to my cold dead heart.
  • Blonde Joke. A Blonde went for a pizza.
    The chef said, would you like it cut into four slices or eight?
    Blonde said, four please.
    There is no way I could possibly eat eight slices.
  • What do you call a couple of ants sharing a slice of pizza in Italy? Romance
  • A Blonde went to buy a Pizza, Chef asked her, would you like it cut into 4 or 8 slices.? Blonde replied, 4 please.
    There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.
  • Would you like the pizza cut into eight or twelve slices? Just eight, I don't think I could eat twelve!
  • What do you call a religious slice of pizza? Cheezus Crust.

Burnt Pizza Jokes

Here is a list of funny burnt pizza jokes and even better burnt pizza puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common? You left it in too long.
  • What does a burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant woman all have in common? An idiot who didn't take it out in time.
  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today Should've used aloha temperature
  • I ordered a Hawaiian Pizza today, and it was burnt. It should have been cooked at aloha temperature.
  • Did you hear about the guy who burnt his house down buy overcooking a Hawaiian pizza? ###He should have cooked it at aloha temperature...
    I know where the door is.
  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night.. Should have put it on aloha setting
  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other night I should have put it on aloha temperature
  • Just burnt my hawaiian pizza in my oven tonight.. Should have used aloha temperature....
  • What did a burnt pizza, pregnant girl and frozen beer can have in common? Nobody pulled out it time.
  • What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common? In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.
Pizza joke, What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about pizza can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of pizza puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheeky Pizza Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about pizza you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean pizzeria jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make pizza prank.

The Buddha walks into a pizza joint and says, "Make me one with everything."

The cashier says "That'll be $12.50."
The Buddha gives him a twenty and holds out his hand for the change.
The cashier shakes his head, smiles and says, "Change must come from within."

I cut my pizza into 7 bits

I haven't had a byte yet

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common?

they all happened because some d**... didn't pull it out in time.

There's a new pizza place coming to town...

Two epileptic midgets (err, little people) are opening up a pizza place across town next week.
They're calling it 'Little Seizures'.
My dad came up with this joke, and I don't think he's ever been so proud of anything in his life.

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

Some d**... forgot to pull it out in time.

What's an epileptic's least favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures.

How do you get a bass player off of your porch?

You pay for your pizza.

I have a joke about pizza and a broken pencil

unfortunately it's cheesy and pointless

My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."

Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.

How do you get a musician off your porch?

Pay for the pizza.

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

Greatest situational joke I've ever told...

A girl I know was talking about how her white mum was an Indian chef, which my other friend couldn't quite grasp and said "How can your mum be an Indian chef if she's not Indian?"
I replied "You can be a pizza chef and not be a pizza".
Had a couple people in tears saying that so I thought I'd share it, might have been a 'you-had-to-be-there' moment.

A man orders a pizza

A man orders a pizza. The waiter asks him: "Do you want your pizza cut in six or eight Pieces?" The man replies: "Six, i dont think i can eat eight"

Why did Medusa order pizza?

Her boyfriend was s**....

I burned 1000 calories today...

Forgot I had a pizza in the oven.

If a pizza has a radius "z" and a depth "a"

Its volume can be defined by pi* z* z* a

Did you hear mike tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?

As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?

Where does the midget pizza chef with epilepsy work?

Little seizures

What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?

They can smell it but they cant eat it!

Why are pizza makers always poor?

Because they knead dough to make a living.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A Jew is a person who follows Judaism, and pizza is a food...
I bet you expected a Holocaust joke. Jew thought wrong.

What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common?

One d**... who never pulls out in time

How do you cut pizza?

With Little Ceasar's.

What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza?

Little Seizures...

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11 ?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

I like my pizza like I like my women

Absolutely no p**... hair.

I just killed a pizza boy and now I have to kill another one

It's the domino effect

When I bought pizza today my hands started to spasm

You could say I got Little Seizures.

What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures

s**... is a lot like pizza...

Even when it's bad, you still have to pay for it.

Have you heard about the new emo pizza?

It cuts itself

What do s**... and pizza have in common?

It's not very good when you buy it from a gas station.

Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?

He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.

Did you hear about the epileptic midget opening a pizza shop?

It's called Little Seizures.

How do you get an art school graduate off your porch?

Pay for the pizza.

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop

"Can you make me one with everything?"

I came home today to find my sister watching an action movie.

She told me she was watching it to learn how to fight. The next day I came home and she was watching a romantic comedy. She told me she was watching it to learn how to love. The day after that I came home and as I arrived there was a pizza delivery guy leaving the house. When I walked inside my sister told me she found a movie under my bed.

Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty

Me: What!? No pizza? No burgers?
Doctor: No fatty, just don't eat

A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.

A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.
CEO comes up and asks his salary.
The man replies - $1000
The CEO pulls out his wallet, gives the man $1,000 and says - here's your month salary. I pay people to work here. Get out and never come back !
The man leaves.
The CEO asks workers - who was this guy ?
They reply - a pizza delivery man.

What's Lil Wayne's favorite pizza?

Lil Siezures!

The volume of a pizza with thickness a and radius z is

pi * z * z * a

Anthony arrived home from work one day, only to find his wife totally stressed out because their kids had been running wild all day...

She asks him if he would please take them out for a pizza.
He agrees, tells the kids to go out to the garage and to wait in the car, following behind them.
A few moments later, the wife hears two loud bangs.
Tony comes back into the house and asks, "Where's my pizza?"

When we make pizza at home it's my wife's job to shred the cheese.

She's the gratist.

What's the quickest way to get a musician off your front porch?

Tip him for the pizza.

What did the Buddhist ask for when he walked into the pizza place?

One with everything

What's the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and an English degree?

The pizza can feed a family of four.

You order one pizza

You love it.
Next time you order a pizza and a garlic bread.
Before you know it, your eating pizzas for every meal, and you get withdrawal symptoms if you don't get one.
That's the domino effect.

s**... is like pizza

Turtles are having it in the sewers

I murdered the pizza delivery man for messing up my order and had to cover it up.

I ordered another pizza to calm my nerves and the second delivery man noticed the body, so I had to kill him too. Now I feel even more nervous so I ordered yet another pizza. I think it's starting to become a domino effect.

I used to know an Italian chef.

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.
I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.
it was a farfalle from grace.

I can't put anymore toppings on my pizza...

There's not mushroom

How can you tell what kind of eel you're looking at?

Well, if the moon hits it's eye like a big pizza pie, it's a moray.

"You have a very rare and extremely contagious condition"

the doctor told his patient.
"We're going to have to put you in an isolation unit where you'll be on a diet of pancakes and pizza."
"Will the pancakes and pizza cure my condition?" asked the patient.
"No," replied the doctor.
"They're the only things we can slip under the door."

I burned 2,000 calories today...

I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven.

Pizza joke, I burned 2,000 calories today...

jokes about pizza

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these pizza jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.