pizza Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious pizza puns

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?

You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it

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My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant...

...I can't pull anything out in time!

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To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.

They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

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I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video.... [NSFW]

He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza guy.

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How does a Mexican cut a pizza?

With *little* *caesars*

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What tastes good on pizza but not on pussy?

Crust

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What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?

Skinning the vegan.

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Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today..

I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.

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What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets?

Little Seizure's

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What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common?

A man who didn't take it out in time.

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I burned my Hawaiian pizza today...

I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting

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Walter White decided to buy a pizza for his son

Walter: Hey son I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends.

Flynn: Thanks dad, how much do I owe you?

Walter: It's on the house.

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What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common?

One dumbass who never pulls out in time

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

You take the pizza delivery sign off

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I told my boyfriend I wanted to try something I saw in a porno.

He wasn't as enthusiastic when I started fucking the pizza guy.

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My girlfriend burned our Hawaiian pizza today...

I should have told her to put the oven on aloha setting.

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I burnt 1200 calories yesterday!

Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven...

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Necrophilia is like pizza

Even when it's cold it's still good.

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I looked out of my window in horror yesterday as a crowd gathered around a crashed motorcyclist.

I rushed outside yelling, "Let me through, let me through"

A man at the front said, "Thank God for that, are you a Doctor"?

I said "No, that's my fucking Pizza"

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What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie?

That's a Moray.

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I like my pizza like I like my women

Absolutely no pubic hair.

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My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant.

I can't take anything out in time.

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Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?

He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.

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You must be Irish

"Ma'am, I'd like to order a Guiness.

-"You must be Irish."

"Oh, so ordering a Guiness makes me Irish? If I ordered a Pizza, would you assume I'm Italian?"

-"I didn't..."

"And if I ordered a Bratwurst, would that make me German?"

-"No, but..."

"So why the hell do you think I'm Irish then?"

-"Sir, this is a book store."

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Sex is like pizza

Turtles are having it in the sewers

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I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today

Should have cooked it on aloha teperature

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Dad: Son! What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Son: I want to be a Pizza delivery boy or a plumber.

Dad: Stop watching porn son.

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What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it?

A pepperonly pizza!

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What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common?

You left it in too long.

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Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?

As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?

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What's a toddler with epilepsy's favorite pizza restaurant?

Little seizures.

See you all in hell.

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Burned my Hawaiian pizza...

Should have put it on aloha temperature.

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One Guinness please

"Ma'am, I'd like to order a Guiness."

"You must be Irish."

"Oh, so ordering a Guiness makes me Irish? If I ordered a Pizza, would you assume I'm Italian?"

"I didn't..."

"And if I ordered a Bratwurst, would that make me German?"

"No, but..."

"So why exactly do you think I'm Irish then?"

"Sir, this is a book store."

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My Local Pizza Place Just Folded

Now they serve Calzones.

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What are the most funny Pizza jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Pizza? Well, here are the best Pizza dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Pizza pick up lines to share with friends.

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