Cheeky Pizza Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
The Buddha walks into a pizza joint and says, "Make me one with everything."
The cashier says "That'll be $12.50."
The Buddha gives him a twenty and holds out his hand for the change.
The cashier shakes his head, smiles and says, "Change must come from within."
I cut my pizza into 7 bits
I haven't had a byte yet
What's the easiest way to pay a musician?
Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza
what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common?
they all happened because some d**... didn't pull it out in time.
Why is a pizza delivery guy like a gynecologist?
They're allowed to smell it, but they get in trouble if they eat it.
Teehee
What's an epileptic's least favorite pizza place?
Little Seizures.
How do you get a bass player off of your porch?
You pay for your pizza.
I have a joke about pizza and a broken pencil
unfortunately it's cheesy and pointless
My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."
Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.
How do you get a musician off your porch?
Pay for the pizza.
I burnt 1200 calories yesterday!
Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven...
You can explore pizza pepperoni reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pizza calzone dad jokes. There are also pizza puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My Local Pizza Place Just Folded
Now they serve Calzones.
How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?
Pay him for the pizza
Necrophilia is like pizza
Even when it's cold it's still good.
Walter White decided to buy a pizza for his son
Walter: Hey son I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends.
Flynn: Thanks dad, how much do I owe you?
Walter: It's on the house.
What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common?
A man who didn't take it out in time.
A man orders a pizza
A man orders a pizza. The waiter asks him: "Do you want your pizza cut in six or eight Pieces?" The man replies: "Six, i dont think i can eat eight"
Why did Medusa order pizza?
Her boyfriend was s**....
I burned 1000 calories today...
Forgot I had a pizza in the oven.
Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?
As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?
Where does the midget pizza chef with epilepsy work?
Little seizures
What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
They can smell it but they cant eat it!
Burned my Hawaiian pizza...
Should have put it on aloha temperature.
Why are pizza makers always poor?
Because they knead dough to make a living.
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A Jew is a person who follows Judaism, and pizza is a food...
I bet you expected a Holocaust joke. Jew thought wrong.
What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common?
One d**... who never pulls out in time
What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common?
Always have to smell it, never get to eat it.
What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza?
Little Seizures...
How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?
You take the pizza delivery sign off
I like my pizza like I like my women
Absolutely no p**... hair.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.
They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it?
A pepperonly pizza!
I burned my Hawaiian pizza today...
I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting
When I bought pizza today my hands started to spasm
You could say I got Little Seizures.
What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?
Little Seizures
How is a gynecologist like a pizza delivery boy?
They both get close enough to smell it, but if they eat it, they'll be fired.
What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?
You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it
What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?
Skinning the vegan.
How do you get an art major off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza!
I vandalized an art major's car today.
Removing pizza delivery signs is surprisingly easy.
Have you heard about the new emo pizza?
It cuts itself
What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common?
You left it in too long.
What do s**... and pizza have in common?
It's not very good when you buy it from a gas station.
Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?
He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.
What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie?
That's a Moray.
How do you get an art school graduate off your porch?
Pay for the pizza.
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop
"Can you make me one with everything?"
Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today..
I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.
Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty
Me: What!? No pizza? No burgers?
Doctor: No fatty, just don't eat
A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.
A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.
CEO comes up and asks his salary.
The man replies - $1000
The CEO pulls out his wallet, gives the man $1,000 and says - here's your month salary. I pay people to work here. Get out and never come back !
The man leaves.
The CEO asks workers - who was this guy ?
They reply - a pizza delivery man.
What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets?
Little Seizure's
What's Lil Wayne's favorite pizza?
Lil Siezures!
The volume of a pizza with thickness a and radius z is
pi * z * z * a
What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?
They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.
When we make pizza at home it's my wife's job to shred the cheese.
She's the gratist.
An ambulance is like a Pizza delivery
If they're late the delivery ends up cold.
You order one pizza
You love it.
Next time you order a pizza and a garlic bread.
Before you know it, your eating pizzas for every meal, and you get withdrawal symptoms if you don't get one.
That's the domino effect.
s**... is like pizza
Turtles are having it in the sewers
I murdered the pizza delivery man for messing up my order and had to cover it up.
I ordered another pizza to calm my nerves and the second delivery man noticed the body, so I had to kill him too. Now I feel even more nervous so I ordered yet another pizza. I think it's starting to become a domino effect.
My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant...
...I can't pull anything out in time!
I used to know an Italian chef.
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.
I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.
it was a farfalle from grace.
I can't put anymore toppings on my pizza...
There's not mushroom
How does a Mexican cut a pizza?
With *little* *caesars*
How can you tell what kind of eel you're looking at?
Well, if the moon hits it's eye like a big pizza pie, it's a moray.
A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please.
There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.
What's the difference between police officers and pizza delivery drivers?
Pizza delivery drivers actually face consequences when their jobs aren't done right.
Locked in her basement
A woman I work with locked me in her basement for two months once and used me as her s**... s**....
One day I noticed she forgot to lock the door and I thought, "Great, this is my chance!"
So I ran up the stairs and grabbed the phone.
Half hour later the pizza arrived, and I went back down to the basement.
Making a deep dish pizza is surprisingly super easy!
It's a pizza cake!
How do you get an art major off your doorstep?
Pay for your pizza.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today
Should've used aloha temperature
My kids were asking me how democracy works, so I let them vote on dinner as a teaching exercise.They picked pizza..
.. but I made tacos, because they don't live in a swing state.
What's the difference between pizza and your opinion
I asked for the pizza
Did you hear about the guy who burnt his house down buy overcooking a Hawaiian pizza?
###He should have cooked it at aloha temperature...
I know where the door is.
s**... is like pizza
Even if it's bad I still gotta pay for it.
I ate a small pizza, but it wasn't enough, so I ate a bigger one, and then a bigger one...
They call it the dominoes effect.
What does a burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant woman all have in common?
An idiot who didn't take it out in time.
What is the preferred pizza for epileptic midgets?
Little Seizures.
(I am so sorry)
Why do hipsters always burn their mouths eating pizza?
They got into it before it was cool.
I ordered a Hawaiian Pizza today, and it was burnt.
It should have been cooked at aloha temperature.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza.
I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
Our local pizza guy has been arrested for selling drugs
I have been a loyal customer for years. I honestly had no idea he was selling pizzas
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order.
I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for tea you are a terrible parent.
I don't care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them first at least.
The secret to a pizza joke...
...is in the delivery.
Andrew Tate arrested in Romania after a pizza box showed he was in the country. Police arrested him within 30 minutes
As any longer would mean they had to give him a free garlic bread.
j**...'s is naming a pizza after Andrew Tate
The small sausage
I used to work in a pizza shop
It didn't pay much but I kneaded the dough.
What do a burned pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn't pull out in time
I like my women like I like my pizza.
Cold, greasy, and leftover.
How do you get a philosophy student off your porch?
Thank him for the pizza
When I make a pizza for a bar customer I always ask them if I should cut it into six pieces or eight
Because some people aren't hungry enough to eat eight pieces. That joke isn't very funny. I guess pizza jokes are all about the delivery.
